Why people feel so alone?

JWPearl · May 2015

i guess people get bored with themselves and also want to share good moments with others a bit like sharing and caring, laughter and familarity and without it theres a breakdown in communication and that makes a person feel unrecognized inturn unknown awkward in social situations and slightly socially disfunctional or boring because lets face it one man sharpens the face of another, we naturally feed off one another in a positive way, only people who are anti social by choice are normally very selfish or are the ones out on the streets as a psycopath

whispering hands · May 2015

Here's my breakdown. I don't have great experiences on which to draw, in relation to other people.
I don't know if that's why I fear/ hate them, or if it's just that I get terrifically overwhelmed by them. But I do know I had a six year relationship with my vey best friend in life. He was my everything. And I thought I was his.. We met when we were nine in family court. We were each there for a different reason, and we met in the child psychologist's waiting room. We were both wearing the same artist's t-shirt and had our walk mans on. That was it.. We started talking and we whiled away an hour becoming friends.. It was just very easy and very natural. He smelled like Mexican Cinnamon bread, ( just his scent, I saw him for a brief time this last September in Cali, and he STILL smells like that!) and he had an energy unlike any I had ever felt. Then we each went for our sessions, our hearings, and I got stuck going home again with my mother and step father. For two years, he and I met each month in family court at the psychologist's office. Then one day his family walked into my dad's church... And I was just floored! I was so happy! We ran over and hugged each other, and declared each was the other kid we'd been telling our parents about.. From then on we grew up together.. By sixteen we realized that we were in love, and began formal dating. By 18 he'd asked me to marry him after we each finished college.. By then I was two years into my college career and he was just beginning his. Things were great, til I graduated college and began to set up shop for our 'dream life. Then I got the call from a long time family friend to train his horse for his daughter. I flew back to Cali and began the work, but something was off with Eddie. ( not THAT Eddie) it wasn't the same.. Then I had my accident, and my whole world was crushed right before my eyes.. In the entire nine months I was hospitalized he only came to visit me once. After six months of this, and having had a really grueling day in PT, I called him to ask him why. My worst enemy answered the phone... And suddenly I reized why things were 'off'. I think that was just the last straw with people. I had trusted him like no other human.. EVER. I loved no other but him. I've had other boyfriends, but they were all cheats, and the last one I drive to it, cause I was certain that was what was going on.. So I don't want to be alone.. Trust me I've been alone too much.. But I'm terrified.. So far pain has all I've ever been awarded.. And I'm not necessarily willing to be open and honest with people anymore cause then when they fuck you over it hurts even worse.. So I guess in a way my pain is self chosen.. But it's safer here, just miserable as well.

OMGkatwoman · May 2015

whispering hands said:
Here's my breakdown. I don't have great experiences on which to draw, in relation to other people.
I don't know if that's why I fear/ hate them, or if it's just that I get terrifically overwhelmed by them. But I do know I had a six year relationship with my vey best friend in life. He was my everything. And I thought I was his.. We met when we were nine in family court. We were each there for a different reason, and we met in the child psychologist's waiting room. We were both wearing the same artist's t-shirt and had our walk mans on. That was it.. We started talking and we whiled away an hour becoming friends.. It was just very easy and very natural. He smelled like Mexican Cinnamon bread, ( just his scent, I saw him for a brief time this last September in Cali, and he STILL smells like that!) and he had an energy unlike any I had ever felt. Then we each went for our sessions, our hearings, and I got stuck going home again with my mother and step father. For two years, he and I met each month in family court at the psychologist's office. Then one day his family walked into my dad's church... And I was just floored! I was so happy! We ran over and hugged each other, and declared each was the other kid we'd been telling our parents about.. From then on we grew up together.. By sixteen we realized that we were in love, and began formal dating. By 18 he'd asked me to marry him after we each finished college.. By then I was two years into my college career and he was just beginning his. Things were great, til I graduated college and began to set up shop for our 'dream life. Then I got the call from a long time family friend to train his horse for his daughter. I flew back to Cali and began the work, but something was off with Eddie. ( not THAT Eddie) it wasn't the same.. Then I had my accident, and my whole world was crushed right before my eyes.. In the entire nine months I was hospitalized he only came to visit me once. After six months of this, and having had a really grueling day in PT, I called him to ask him why. My worst enemy answered the phone... And suddenly I reized why things were 'off'. I think that was just the last straw with people. I had trusted him like no other human.. EVER. I loved no other but him. I've had other boyfriends, but they were all cheats, and the last one I drive to it, cause I was certain that was what was going on.. So I don't want to be alone.. Trust me I've been alone too much.. But I'm terrified.. So far pain has all I've ever been awarded.. And I'm not necessarily willing to be open and honest with people anymore cause then when they fuck you over it hurts even worse.. So I guess in a way my pain is self chosen.. But it's safer here, just miserable as well.

I know how you feel WH, the betrayal, trust issues. When I just got out of high school, I met a guy and fell in love. One day when I got off work early, I walked into our apartment to find him in bed with my best friend. my best friend for Christ sake. I felt very betrayed by both of them. I packed up a few things and left right then and there, he slept out in my mom's front yard for the next three days, begging my forgiveness, which he did not get. Deep wounds such as these don't heal easily if ever, but, I've learned through the years that trust can be accomplished little by little, and that not everyone I've met has to pay for the mistake of someone else. Sometimes we isolate ourselves as a self protective coping mechanism, but if we don't give others a chance, whos' really missing out? Thanks for sharing your story, and I know someday you will find a great guy that will treat you wonderfully and the way you should have treated,all along, you deserve no less.

ldent42 · May 2015

imalive said:

P.S. I was sure ident42 was a guy. Sorry. Care to share what's behind your user name?

Annafalk · May 2015

Thanks both of you WH and Katwoman sharing your stories. I also had a friend that was betrayed by her best friend and boyfriend, she discovered photos (nude) in his phone of her :(

whispering hands · May 2015

See why???? Why?? I just don't get why men think it's ok to tromp on a woman's feelings like that in selfish motive. WHY????

whispering hands · May 2015

It's like they think we're trash and of no value.. So why be loyal?

Annafalk · May 2015

But one thing that's cool is that there actually are many great people of both genders out there and it's never too late to find love, never lose hope!

OMGkatwoman · May 2015

whispering hands said:
It's like they think we're trash and of no value.. So why be loyal?

I don't think all men think that way, and the ones that do not deserve no less either. I think a lot of things have a lot to do with the way we were raised and that we should treat others the way we would like to be treated, a mutual respect and try not to compare and put on others what one awful person did.

HughFreakingDillon · May 2015

whispering hands said:
It's like they think we're trash and of no value.. So why be loyal?

Its not just men. Trust me.

OMGkatwoman · May 2015

HughFreakingDillon said:

whispering hands said:
It's like they think we're trash and of no value.. So why be loyal?
Its not just men. Trust me.

So true, and cheaters aren't gender specific that's for sure.

whispering hands · May 2015

Oh believe me I know.. I should have said why do people think that's ok.. I should know that cause my older sister is like that towards men, and it pisses me off. Just cause men act tough doesn't mean they don't get hurt. So I hbky apologize for that one sided accusation.

whispering hands · May 2015

God I spend more time editing pats than writing them! Lol hbky was supposed to be humbly.

Wobbie · May 2015

ldent42 said:

imalive said:

P.S. I was sure ident42 was a guy. Sorry. Care to share what's behind your user name?

I still don't get it.....I hardly ever see a movie.

ldent42 · May 2015

^^Rockbiter was male. He's giving you that shrug look cuz you thought I was.

I missed the username question. Drop the first letter. It's a HitchHiker's Guide reference.

Wobbie · May 2015

ldent42 said:
^^Rockbiter was male. He's giving you that shrug look cuz you thought I was.

I missed the username question. Drop the first letter. It's a HitchHiker's Guide reference.

I'm lost. I don't know who rockbiter is and, altho I read HHGTTU years ago, that reference escapes me too.

no matter; carry on.

Wobbie · May 2015

thoughts arrive-

I'm sure you're trying, but I think getting a job might make a big difference for you. you might feel like you're doing something worthwhile (most jobs are, even if they may not feel like it) and you might meet some people. hang in there.

PJ_Soul · May 2015

eeriepadave said:

PJ_Soul said:

eeriepadave said:
well i live by myself, no girlfriend, not too many friends. kinda an outsider i guess. I come off weird/awkward when meeting people for the first time. Ask a few people on here they can testify to that It sucks. I do have my cats and music so that helps
I also am single and love alone. I don't feel lonely though. Not so far anyway.
If we ever meet i won't care if you are weird and awkward - i'll deal with it. People are too weird and awkward about weird and awkward, lol.
living alone does have it's advantages i'll admit along with some disadvantages as well though.

We did kinda "meet" at the Wrigley pre-party. I don't think we actually talked but we are in one photo together,

The financial factor is definitely a huge thing. Sharing the bills is fantastic.
Having been in a common law marriage and going through its ending, being alone after that feels just fine. I have absolutely nothing against being with someone, marriage, whatever, and of course don't rule it out for myself... but i think i still have some leftover feelings of 'been there, done that' about it, as well as the whole 'wow, I don't know if I want to risk going through THAT again' mindset (the breakup was pretty horrific), so living alone is more like an extended vacation for me, lol! I don't know how I'll feel down the road a bit... i assume that if I just meet the right one, I'll be more than happy to try cohabitating again. But i don't have a specific desire for it right now.

Lol, that is true dave. I think we might have said hi quickly, but am not positive. Maybe I just thought about it and then swooned. I was so hot in that place I was delirious, lol.

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2015

jennycoyle said:
I wouldn't mind living alone, it's the thought of being alone for the rest of my life that's scary, that I might never have a partner or children

Yeah same.
I am 31 soon and never had a girlfriend and don't believe I ever will.
Everyone is dumbfounded at this.
Shrinks I have seen were shocked to hear and ask me why, if I knew I'd tell them, I don't know.

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2015

imalive said:
thoughts arrive-

I'm sure you're trying, but I think getting a job might make a big difference for you. you might feel like you're doing something worthwhile (most jobs are, even if they may not feel like it) and you might meet some people. hang in there.

Thanks dude.
I have stopped trying in the last few weeks, I can't find the will to get back on internet job sites.
I don't even know what I want to do and what my purpose is in life which doesn't help.
All the jobs (close to 100 applications) that I have applied for I have gotten nowhere.
I applied for where I have skills yet never hear back from recruiters or get told I wasn't successful.
I can't fit into the corporate world in which I have experience, it's a daily struggle to be 'like them'.
My previous colleagues all turned out to be bullies, two faced backstabbers with a nasty streak behind your back, and users.
I have lost faith in people in the workplace.

Why people feel so alone?

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