Degenerates Unite!! Must be on the list to enter and 18!

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

cdysinge said:

The church of Fuckus respects that our members cannot spell and have bad grammar and generally say stupid shit.

Don't you mean grammer?

I would misspell but Rob would start feeding us crap stories about Kelsey Grammer again.

The creation story for the church of Fuckus:

Once upon a time the first degenerate woman was born from a sweet smelling rose. She was born into a garden of sweet roses and bud and was wildly happy. After a few years she became lonely/horny and called into the sky to produce a degenerate man to keep her company. Lightening struck and the first Elitist man appeared. The degenerate woman had no idea this man was an Elitist and was excited to have company. After a short period the two were busy trying to figure everything out when a turtle appeared from under one of the rose bushes. The turtle spoke of sexless marriage and other Elitist turtle general nonsense. The two did not know better and listened to the turtle. The Elitist man treated our degenerate woman like crap, requiring her to be a prude and attempted to destroy all of the sweet bud from the garden. As the man was about to destroy the last pot plant Fuckus the Goat appeared and proceeded to stump the Elitist brains out. The degenerate woman screamed as she feared a life of misery. Fuckus assured her to be patient as she would find true happiness. One night as she strolled the pot garden she heard a fart noise. As she investigated the goat appeared again telling her true happiness would be found on the other side of the garden. The degenerate woman searched and searched but found no man. The degenerate was passed out behind a dumpster and would only appear after his hangover was gone. 3 days passed when again the woman heard the fart noise and searched again. This time she would find her degenerate man and would come to experience real joy (an actual big O).

Chapter two another time as the degenerate children need to get to bed.

I dont know if The Flying Spaghetti Monster will allow me to worship Fuckus as well. Quite the conundrum. I think I need to stay with FSM ("ramen!") as they hold pirates up to be absolutely divine beings, rum is the liquid every good church member is to consume, and the promise of Heaven holds a beer volcano and a stripper factory.

I just realized I haven't read The Gospel According to the Flying Spaghetti Monster yet. Shit, needs to be next on my list. I am a bad member and therefore must drink rum tonight.

oftenreading said:

F Me In The Brain said:

I dont know if The Flying Spaghetti Monster will allow me to worship Fuckus as well. Quite the conundrum. I think I need to stay with FSM ("ramen!") as they hold pirates up to be absolutely divine beings, rum is the liquid every good church member is to consume, and the promise of Heaven holds a beer volcano and a stripper factory.

I just realized I haven't read The Gospel According to the Flying Spaghetti Monster yet. Shit, needs to be next on my list. I am a bad member and therefore must drink rum tonight.

He boiled for your sins.

whispering hands said:

I must check with my cat.. But I think he just detests goats in general.. All hail the great and all purriful, Scooter!! Come worship in the temple of the cat.. I think Halufax is confused.. He hangs out in our temple with his natty robe.. Oh yeah we drink milk in our church.. Every Sunday we have a communion ceremony of kitty treats and milk..

Anything that sleeps all day and has an electrical box to get its poop can't be trusted

Do not fear our friends. Fuckus understand that you may have visions of him in different forms other than a goat. As long as you do not see a turtle you are all welcome in the congregation.

Chapter 2: He stunk so we may get drunk
A couple of weeks pass after DW (Degenerate Woman) met DM. At first it is nothing but stoned bliss but changes quickly. DW is strolling through the garden with a pissed off look on her face when Fuckus appears again. He asks kindly why the pissed off look. DW proceeds to tell Fuckus that DM refuses to bathe in the springs enough and has acquired a foul odor about him. Despite her attempts she just cannot perform with him. Fuckus assured her to relax as he promised true happiness when he created her. A week passes by when DW notices some new strange plants growing in the garden. One would be barley, one wheat, one would be grapes and one would be a strange looking cactus. The woman took care of the plants and they bloomed quickly. After the blooms one day a strange set of tablets was next to each plant. On each tablet was a set of instructions and a note to use the new elixirs when DM stunk or annoyed her. The woman followed the instructions as written. That night DM was horny as usual yet his stink repelled DW. She drank the first elixir and all of sudden that man funk smell no longer mattered. This was how Fuckus gave us alcohol.

Next chapter: Woman annoyed man so we could have porn.

cdysinge said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

cdysinge said:

The creation story for the church of Fuckus:

Once upon a time the first degenerate woman was born from a sweet smelling rose. She was born into a garden of sweet roses and bud and was wildly happy. After a few years she became lonely/horny and called into the sky to produce a degenerate man to keep her company. Lightening struck and the first Elitist man appeared. The degenerate woman had no idea this man was an Elitist and was excited to have company. After a short period the two were busy trying to figure everything out when a turtle appeared from under one of the rose bushes. The turtle spoke of sexless marriage and other Elitist turtle general nonsense. The two did not know better and listened to the turtle. The Elitist man treated our degenerate woman like crap, requiring her to be a prude and attempted to destroy all of the sweet bud from the garden. As the man was about to destroy the last pot plant Fuckus the Goat appeared and proceeded to stump the Elitist brains out. The degenerate woman screamed as she feared a life of misery. Fuckus assured her to be patient as she would find true happiness. One night as she strolled the pot garden she heard a fart noise. As she investigated the goat appeared again telling her true happiness would be found on the other side of the garden. The degenerate woman searched and searched but found no man. The degenerate was passed out behind a dumpster and would only appear after his hangover was gone. 3 days passed when again the woman heard the fart noise and searched again. This time she would find her degenerate man and would come to experience real joy (an actual big O).

Chapter two another time as the degenerate children need to get to bed.

Which pew do I take in the church of fuckus?

We do not have pews. You have to chose if you want to reverse piggy back ride or be ridden. Then you find your appropriate partner and the sermon may begin.

I would think that passing out in the area where the celebrations are held is accepted & encouraged?

Well that's the first time a thread has been closed while I was typing a response...probably for the best. Way to go degenerates!