*** Jokes of the Day!! ***

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  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    what do you call a man with paper trousers?????

















    russell. :mrgreen:
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    whats green and flies over germany???




    snotzies. :mrgreen:
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • davidtrios
    davidtrios Posts: 9,732
    europe_vs_usa_by_ay_deezy-d4ae8b4.jpg
  • davidtrios
    davidtrios Posts: 9,732
    What's for dinner Dad?
    Wookie steak
    It is any good?
    It's a little Chewy.
  • pjfan31
    pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    What's green and smells like bacon?

    Kermits fingers
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • FenwayFaithful
    FenwayFaithful Posts: 8,626
    My girlfriend can't wrestle, but you should see her box
    "FF, I've heard the droning about the Sawx being the baby dolls. Yeah, I get it, you guys invented baseball and suffered forever. I get it." -JearlPam0925
  • The Waiting Trophy Man
    The Waiting Trophy Man Niagara region, Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,158
    pjfan31 wrote:
    What's green and smells like bacon?

    Kermits fingers

    lol
    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self
  • not4uuu
    not4uuu Posts: 94
    what do you call a dinosaur pig??

    Jurassic Pork ...


    :lol:

    These 2 strips of bacon were cooking in a fryin pan, one says to the other "man, it's gettin hot" the other one says "OH MY GOD! TALKING BACON!!!! 8-)
    pearljammin66
  • pjfan31
    pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    Why did the sperm cross the road?

    Cause I wore the wrong socks
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • chelsea48
    chelsea48 Posts: 594
    I used to date a Welsh girl who had 36DD`S............
















    ......it was a ridiculously long name :D
  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    I was in a pub last night and saw two large girls by the bar.

    They both had strange accents so I said "Hello Are you two girls from Scotland?"

    One of them screamed... "Its WALES you f*cking idiot!"

    So I immediately apologised and said " Sorry are you two whales from Scotland?"
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • davidtrios
    davidtrios Posts: 9,732
    How do you make a dead baby float?
    First you get the ice cream, the Coke, the blender...
  • chelsea48
    chelsea48 Posts: 594
    I was at the swimming pool today and decided to have a sneaky piss in the deep end. The life-guard must have noticed. He blew his whistle so fucking loud i nearly fell in!!!
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.



    Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.



    Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.



    New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.



    Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.



    This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • DS1119
    DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    :fp:
  • davidtrios
    davidtrios Posts: 9,732
    During the last lockout, Bain Capital offered $4 billion for the entire NHL. Could they have run the league better than the owners?

    They'd be playing in India.
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    Funny-Thanksgiving-Cartoons.jpg

    funny-thanksgiving-pictures-3.gif

    FunnyThanksgiving.jpg

    mime-attachment-1.jpg:lol:
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 26,899
    81 wrote:
    Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.



    Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.



    Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.



    New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.



    Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.



    This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • Newch91
    Newch91 Posts: 17,560
    pandora wrote:
    Funny-Thanksgiving-Cartoons.jpg

    funny-thanksgiving-pictures-3.gif

    FunnyThanksgiving.jpg

    mime-attachment-1.jpg:lol:
    :lol:
    Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
    "Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful
  • JOEJOEJOE
    JOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,825
    What do a person with an outgoing personality, and, a large city in Taiwan have in common?









    they are both Taipei! :lol:

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