Thanks to all and an update on my wife

StillHere · January 2012

paysonites wrote:

Good morning,

Took a while to respond here we had a very busy and long day yesterday. Our son got a school pride award (safety,respectful,responsible). We are very proud of him. He's had a very tough year with all that is going on but we are as involved with him as ever. He is a very gentle,funny and loving person....

that's awesome! a great kid
hope today is a good day too

paysonites · January 2012

StillHere wrote:

Just saying good morning
Its going to be a wonderful day
Awards and all
maybe even lunch? if she's up to it
I've got a feelin' a feelin' deep inside..oh yeah...
Make the best of today and every day
Hugs,
jo

You are so sweet..Thanks for keeping in touch.
We had a great morning. It was a lot of fun watching him
get his award. We really enjoyed it.
You've really got to soak in those special moments
That is what makes life so special...

paysonites · January 2012

he.who.forgets wrote:

Sending my very best thoughts, prayers and vibes to Shawna and your family. It just crushses me to hear of your struggle. I hope that 2012 brings good health and an end to these difficult times.
Jamie

Thank you for your support..

paysonites · January 2012

Another short update...

We found out yesterday through her home healthcare nurse that with all of the people involved with Shawna's antibiotics that her treatment was not at therapeutic levels. The first week was good but the last four weeks or so her dose was only at half of what it should of been. Her trough levels should of been between (15-20) for the full 6 weeks. The reality is that the levels were right around 9-10 most of the time. Which means her treatment on the IV antibiotics was way to weak and chances are the medicine did not have a chance to serve its purpose. They've upped her medicine to a more beneficial amount but we feel it's a little to late.

It would take a miracle right now for that infection to have cleared up so we're preparing ourselves for some bad news come Monday morning. It's frustrating living in such a small town and no matter how much you fight for the best care, double check the docs,nurses in the end you just have to deal with the cards you are dealt.

I just wish she/we could catch a break somewhere. Nobody should have to go through what my wife has gone through the first year and a half of being married. She deserves all of the goodness that life has to offer. I wish I could just take this and all of her pain away. I'm so tired of seeing her suffer. I am so saddened by her pain and continued hardships. Yes, I know life will get better at some point. That's what the goal is and we will get there no matter what it takes

StillHere · January 2012

paysonites wrote:

Another short update...

We found out yesterday through her home healthcare nurse that with all of the people involved with Shawna's antibiotics that her treatment was not at therapeutic levels. The first week was good but the last four weeks or so her dose was only at half of what it should of been. Her trough levels should of been between (15-20) for the full 6 weeks. The reality is that the levels were right around 9-10 most of the time. Which means her treatment on the IV antibiotics was way to weak and chances are the medicine did not have a chance to serve its purpose. They've upped her medicine to a more beneficial amount but we feel it's a little to late.

It would take a miracle right now for that infection to have cleared up so we're preparing ourselves for some bad news come Monday morning. It's frustrating living in such a small town and no matter how much you fight for the best care, double check the docs,nurses in the end you just have to deal with the cards you are dealt.

I just wish she/we could catch a break somewhere. Nobody should have to go through what my wife has gone through the first year and a half of being married. She deserves all of the goodness that life has to offer. I wish I could just take this and all of her pain away. I'm so tired of seeing her suffer. I am so saddened by her pain and continued hardships. Yes, I know life will get better at some point. I just hope we'll be okay by the time we make it through all of this.

a therapeutic dose can still work its magic
you've got to believe in that
there's always time
hugs

paysonites · January 2012

Not really an update on Shawna just some thoughts.........
I know it is really hard to understand and to relate to what has happened. It hasn't even sunk in for myself. Going from getting married a year and a half ago to having our lives torn into many many pieces. This is truly as bad as it gets. Shawna is at a pain level of around an 8 all the time. I am a total mess myself. I can't bare to watch her go through this all the time. It is emotionally,physically and mentally draining on all of us. All I know is you haven't seen strength until you've seen Shawna over the past year. I can't believe how strong she is. She's made it through three major surgeries and remained positive through all of them. It brings tears to my eyes when I think of how hard it's been and how hard it's going to be in the coming months possibly a year. I know that at this point we can not look at the road ahead but we can only look at how far we have traveled. These are truly desperate times. I thought I loved this woman more than anything on the day we got married. I was wrong. This past year and a half has sent my wife and I on a whirlwind of a journey. It feels like 10 years have past by in this short time with every heartfelt tear and cherished hug that has helped us in getting through. I/we have learned so much about our relationship. Through all of the hospital stays in which we've had together six in five years. We never left each others side. The love that has been created between her an I is more powerful than I ever thought possible. Even as a child and you have that dream to fall in love and find that special somebody. The overwhelming magic that one feels. It's 1000 times more powerful. Something incredible has happened through all of this and it is unstoppable, powerful, strengthening and has created this beautiful bond that has completely overtaken our family. There is an amazing atmosphere around us that feels almost like new air, sunshine through the darkest of clouds or the break of a new day. I don't know... It's hard to explain but when we have those moments of clarity amongst the pain and suffering it is the most amazing feeling I've ever felt. I just hope it becomes powerful enough to take away her pain, sickness and heal...heal...heal...her heart, mind and body. Oh, and about being wrong about our love on that day. To be honest I did love her more than anything. I just never knew what beauty,strength, and unconditional love that would be created and recreated through our test of time. I haven't even expressed a fraction of how I feel about my wife.

I Love You baby....
Your devoted husband..... John

StillHere · January 2012

paysonites wrote:

Not really an update on Shawna just some thoughts.........
I know it is really hard to understand and to relate to what has happened. It hasn't even sunk in for myself. Going from getting married a year and a half ago to having our lives torn into many many pieces. This is truly as bad as it gets. Shawna is at a pain level of around an 8 all the time. I am a total mess myself. I can't bare to watch her go through this all the time. It is emotionally,physically and mentally draining on all of us. All I know is you haven't seen strength until you've seen Shawna over the past year. I can't believe how strong she is. She's made it through three major surgeries and remained positive through all of them. It brings tears to my eyes when I think of how hard it's been and how hard it's going to be in the coming months possibly a year. I know that at this point we can not look at the road ahead but we can only look at how far we have traveled. These are truly desperate times. I thought I loved this woman more than anything on the day we got married. I was wrong. This past year and a half has sent my wife and I on a whirlwind of a journey. It feels like 10 years have past by in this short time with every heartfelt tear and cherished hug that has helped us in getting through. I/we have learned so much about our relationship. Through all of the hospital stays in which we've had together six in five years. We never left each others side. The love that has been created between her an I is more powerful than I ever thought possible. Even as a child and you have that dream to fall in love and find that special somebody. The overwhelming magic that one feels. It's 1000 times more powerful. Something incredible has happened through all of this and it is unstoppable, powerful, strengthening and has created this beautiful bond that has completely overtaken our family. There is an amazing atmosphere around us that feels almost like new air, sunshine through the darkest of clouds or the break of a new day. I don't know... It's hard to explain but when we have those moments of clarity amongst the pain and suffering it is the most amazing feeling I've ever felt. I just hope it becomes powerful enough to take away her pain, sickness and heal...heal...heal...her heart, mind and body. Oh, and about being wrong about our love on that day. To be honest I did love her more than anything. I just never knew what beauty,strength, and unconditional love that would be created and recreated through our test of time. I haven't even expressed a fraction of how I feel about my wife.

I Love You baby....
Your devoted husband..... John

this sounds cliche, i know
but you see....despite all the pain and suffering you've both been through
all of this has allowed you to know the true meaning of love
and i, for one, am so happy that you are experiencing that love
not everyone...probably very few of us...ever really have true powerful unconditional love
and love does heal all
hugs

he.who.forgets · January 2012

That's beautiful John. Shawna is blessed to have someone as adoring and loving as yourself.
All my best,
Jamie

Suziemay · January 2012

John, I don't have anything wise to say. Just want to let you know I'm here and your words really touched me. A friend of mine who's wife was battling cancer told me that it is good to feel even if sometimes those feelings are not good ones, it makes you appreciate and cherish the wonderful things that you do have. I don't know if that helps you at all but it helped me a lot.

xx
Su May

paysonites · January 2012

StillHere wrote:

paysonites wrote:

Not really an update on Shawna just some thoughts.........
I know it is really hard to understand and to relate to what has happened. It hasn't even sunk in for myself. Going from getting married a year and a half ago to having our lives torn into many many pieces. This is truly as bad as it gets. Shawna is at a pain level of around an 8 all the time. I am a total mess myself. I can't bare to watch her go through this all the time. It is emotionally,physically and mentally draining on all of us. All I know is you haven't seen strength until you've seen Shawna over the past year. I can't believe how strong she is. She's made it through three major surgeries and remained positive through all of them. It brings tears to my eyes when I think of how hard it's been and how hard it's going to be in the coming months possibly a year. I know that at this point we can not look at the road ahead but we can only look at how far we have traveled. These are truly desperate times. I thought I loved this woman more than anything on the day we got married. I was wrong. This past year and a half has sent my wife and I on a whirlwind of a journey. It feels like 10 years have past by in this short time with every heartfelt tear and cherished hug that has helped us in getting through. I/we have learned so much about our relationship. Through all of the hospital stays in which we've had together six in five years. We never left each others side. The love that has been created between her an I is more powerful than I ever thought possible. Even as a child and you have that dream to fall in love and find that special somebody. The overwhelming magic that one feels. It's 1000 times more powerful. Something incredible has happened through all of this and it is unstoppable, powerful, strengthening and has created this beautiful bond that has completely overtaken our family. There is an amazing atmosphere around us that feels almost like new air, sunshine through the darkest of clouds or the break of a new day. I don't know... It's hard to explain but when we have those moments of clarity amongst the pain and suffering it is the most amazing feeling I've ever felt. I just hope it becomes powerful enough to take away her pain, sickness and heal...heal...heal...her heart, mind and body. Oh, and about being wrong about our love on that day. To be honest I did love her more than anything. I just never knew what beauty,strength, and unconditional love that would be created and recreated through our test of time. I haven't even expressed a fraction of how I feel about my wife.

I Love You baby....
Your devoted husband..... John

this sounds cliche, i know
but you see....despite all the pain and suffering you've both been through
all of this has allowed you to know the true meaning of love
and i, for one, am so happy that you are experiencing that love
not everyone...probably very few of us...ever really have true powerful unconditional love
and love does heal all
hugs

Thank you..Thank you...Thank you.....Your hugs are felt

paysonites · January 2012

Jamie and Susie May,

In these Times of Trouble I/we have realized what good people are surrounded by us right now. It may not be the ones we've known all of our lives but the love that is felt on this board is what has truly helped us in getting through this mess that has fallen upon us. Your support is felt in the deepest of ways. Thank you for your true concern and compassionate ways.

paysonites · January 2012

he.who.forgets wrote:

That's beautiful John. Shawna is blessed to have someone as adoring and loving as yourself.
All my best,
Jamie

You may have to change your username to "He Who Is Thoughtful"

howIchoose2feel · January 2012

Sometimes we wonder why our strength keeps being tested to the extreme. You don't know why, but you will when you both work your way through this. Attitude is half the battle - just think positive thoughts (and keep listening to PJ) and you will come out of this happy, healthy and definately wiser. Warm regards to you both.

Diane

dimitrispearljam · January 2012

we thank you John,for being an inspiration of what Love means
thank you..and all the best..i trully believe smile and happiness will come soon to your home
Dimitris

SxDx1982 · January 2012

The message you wrote about your wife brought tears to my eyes.
I'll be here on Monday, waiting for good news from you!! xoxoxo

SD48277 · January 2012

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you will receive good news on Monday.

Carey · January 2012

Hey John, I will be looking to hear from you if you need anything. Fingers and toes crossed, and prayers sent....

Suziemay · January 2012

Carey wrote:

Hey John, I will be looking to hear from you if you need anything. Fingers and toes crossed, and prayers sent....

Me too John. xx

paysonites · January 2012

Good evening,

You all are just incredibly wonderful people. Who would of thought that one amazing band could create such an amazing group of people who so selflessly give to one another in amazing ways. Shawna and I are in a pretty good place tonight. We have been really enjoying the day and preparing for whatever comes are way tomorrow.
You all know how hard this has been for the both of us. The thought that so many have taken time out of their lives to help support a couple of fellow fan club members through their darkest of times is a celebration of life and how beautiful it is. My wife and I are really taken back by your kindness, compassion and will to make our lives move forward through a chain of support that until now (past year) was completely unknown or imaginable. I am very appreciative and really will never have the words to share/express how much you all mean to me. I hit a breaking point as most would and made it through with the love and the music. No matter what happens we are prepared and ready for the journey.

Thank you...Thank you....Thank you.
John and Shawna

red mos · January 2012

My thoughts and prayers for you and Shawna. Wish you all the best. There is an AMAZING group of people here, you are right about that John. Again, wish you both the very best.

Thanks to all and an update on my wife

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