Drunk stories...

faceintheclouds · October 2011

Not about me. Not that I don't have a shitload of em. Anyways. My brotherinlaw is moving his family to Alberta on Monday and it was his birthday last night too. So we all went out to celebrate. So he was pretty hammered towards the end of the night. His gf decided to give him his present. Well her present was a bj in the bathroom............with her hot friend:o
So the bouncer kicked them out.
So we went back to a buddies house. Around 3ish he lays on the couch and just dropped his fucking pants around his ankles and starts to grab his junk!! Lmfao.
I yelled at him and made him pull his pants up.
So he calls me today to ask what happened. Lol. I tell him and he's just dying. He says he woke up naked with a black eye and our other buddy yelling at him. Hafucking ha.
And now he's leaving. He's my best friend.
Now I got no one to share all my pj billshit with.
Good times.

DS1119 · October 2011

faceintheclouds wrote:

Not about me. Not that I don't have a shitload of em. Anyways. My brotherinlaw is moving his family to Alberta on Monday and it was his birthday last night too. So we all went out to celebrate. So he was pretty hammered towards the end of the night. His gf decided to give him his present. Well her present was a bj in the bathroom............with her hot friend:o
So the bouncer kicked them out.
So we went back to a buddies house. Around 3ish he lays on the couch and just dropped his fucking pants around his ankles and starts to grab his junk!! Lmfao.
I yelled at him and made him pull his pants up.
So he calls me today to ask what happened. Lol. I tell him and he's just dying. He says he woke up naked with a black eye and our other buddy yelling at him. Hafucking ha.
And now he's leaving. He's my best friend.
Now I got no one to share all my pj billshit with.
Good times.

faceintheclouds · October 2011

DS1119 wrote:

faceintheclouds wrote:

Not about me. Not that I don't have a shitload of em. Anyways. My brotherinlaw is moving his family to Alberta on Monday and it was his birthday last night too. So we all went out to celebrate. So he was pretty hammered towards the end of the night. His gf decided to give him his present. Well her present was a bj in the bathroom............with her hot friend:o
So the bouncer kicked them out.
So we went back to a buddies house. Around 3ish he lays on the couch and just dropped his fucking pants around his ankles and starts to grab his junk!! Lmfao.
I yelled at him and made him pull his pants up.
So he calls me today to ask what happened. Lol. I tell him and he's just dying. He says he woke up naked with a black eye and our other buddy yelling at him. Hafucking ha.
And now he's leaving. He's my best friend.
Now I got no one to share all my pj billshit with.
Good times.

Lol. He got the black eye cause when they got back to the house his gf and her friend finished the present and when he got out of car the door cracked him in the face and almost knocked him out. Lmao

BLACK35 · October 2011

faceintheclouds wrote:

DS1119 wrote:

faceintheclouds wrote:

Not about me. Not that I don't have a shitload of em. Anyways. My brotherinlaw is moving his family to Alberta on Monday and it was his birthday last night too. So we all went out to celebrate. So he was pretty hammered towards the end of the night. His gf decided to give him his present. Well her present was a bj in the bathroom............with her hot friend:o
So the bouncer kicked them out.
So we went back to a buddies house. Around 3ish he lays on the couch and just dropped his fucking pants around his ankles and starts to grab his junk!! Lmfao.
I yelled at him and made him pull his pants up.
So he calls me today to ask what happened. Lol. I tell him and he's just dying. He says he woke up naked with a black eye and our other buddy yelling at him. Hafucking ha.
And now he's leaving. He's my best friend.
Now I got no one to share all my pj billshit with.
Good times.

Lol. He got the black eye cause when they got back to the house his gf and her friend finished the present and when he got out of car the door cracked him in the face and almost knocked him out. Lmao

Wow his girlfriend & her friend, lucky man and very open relationship

stargirl69 · October 2011

BLACK35 wrote:

Wow his girlfriend & her friend, lucky man and very open relationship

I was thinking :wtf: ....

AELARA · October 2011

I love drunk stories! I also have some things to contribute.

First, I once spent a cold winter night sitting and sleeping in front of my front door because I couldn't find my keys (which were in my pocket)! Btw I don't remember how I got home.

The other time was in summer 2005. I was in Rodos island visiting a friend of mine who was studying there. We were at her house. My friend, her brother, 2 more friends and me. We bought some bottles of cheap wine and 2 pizzas. We were drinking wine in water glasses all in once, like shots. In no time the wine was gone so we went to buy some more which was gone pretty soon too. By the time we drank the second round of wine it was late at night and we didn't want to disturb the neighbours with our laughters and loud singing. So we decided to go to a park which was close to the liquor store so we could buy as much wine as we wanted! We got a portable cd-player, and a sheet so that we could have a picnic! We also bought more wine, we danced and sang and partied! And of course we didn't care at all when people were looking at us in a strange way. A couple of hours later you could see every each of us laying and sleeping on the grass in a different place of the park. I was sleeping on a bench using the cd player as a pillow! The only thing I remember is my friend telling me that she wanted to puke but she couldn't. I said: "Use your fingers!" and she said: "I can't. They're dirty!" Then, sometime later we were woken up by heavy rain! We barely managed to get home and we fell asleep instantly. When we woke up the next day we realised that not only we had slept in our clothes and shoes but also that they were full of leaves, grass and mud. Then we went back to the park and collected the (16!) empty wine bottles and some of our cds! It was a funny night after all!

I have some more stories but they're way too embarassing to mention. :roll:

faceintheclouds · October 2011

stargirl69 wrote:

BLACK35 wrote:

Wow his girlfriend & her friend, lucky man and very open relationship

I was thinking :wtf: ....

naw, its not like he can go out and bang other chicks. she tried a few years ago to do that for him but he got all fucked up and said something to the fact of her not bieng the best performer down there or sumpin. lol.
i guess its only on his bday when he gets shit like that. lucky fuck.

pineapplesandwaves. · October 2011

DS1119 · October 2011

This one really sucks. Happened about five years or so ago. Came home from a very heavy night of drinking and for some reason I put shaving gel on my toothbrush and started brushing with that. The taste of that shit lingered for days. :thumbdown:

voidofman · November 2011

I was trying to decide if this should go in the bad date thread or not, since it wasn't a date and there was a lot of drinking involved, I went with this thread

I don't know why but my wife always brings this story up because of how absurd it is. About 5 years ago I was coming home from work and saw a somewhat older woman struggling with some skis and bags just up the block from where I live, so I went to help her out, helped her bring them to her daughter's house who lives on the reservation. Her daughter is a big girl, they ask me to stay and have dinner for helping out, I say sure why not, it was Friday and I had nothing to do. We eat dinner and drink a bunch, listen to loud music, mom goes home. We go to the liquor store to get more beer. I almost don't want to say this next part because it's so absurd and kind of embarrassing. So, this woman claims she is a lesbian and her gf is in New York. Her 8 year old daughter comes home and she is upstairs in her room while we are getting drunk still. Somehow we start making out and she unzips my pants. It was kind of obvious she liked girls because she made it hurt, no teeth, it just hurt for some reason. I'm looking over at the stairs to make sure her daughter isn't coming down the stairs or whatever but we both here, "mom! stop!" I didn't see her at all. Anyways, I pretty much went home after that.

Cliffnotes: I got cock-blocked by a lesbian's eight year old daughter.

81 · November 2011

peeing off a L platform is fun

dcfaithful · November 2011

81 wrote:

peeing off a L platform is fun

:thumbup:

Pee'd off of a 6 story medical building once. That was fun too.

JonnyPistachio · November 2011

voidofman wrote:

I was trying to decide if this should go in the bad date thread or not, since it wasn't a date and there was a lot of drinking involved, I went with this thread

I don't know why but my wife always brings this story up because of how absurd it is. About 5 years ago I was coming home from work and saw a somewhat older woman struggling with some skis and bags just up the block from where I live, so I went to help her out, helped her bring them to her daughter's house who lives on the reservation. Her daughter is a big girl, they ask me to stay and have dinner for helping out, I say sure why not, it was Friday and I had nothing to do. We eat dinner and drink a bunch, listen to loud music, mom goes home. We go to the liquor store to get more beer. I almost don't want to say this next part because it's so absurd and kind of embarrassing. So, this woman claims she is a lesbian and her gf is in New York. Her 8 year old daughter comes home and she is upstairs in her room while we are getting drunk still. Somehow we start making out and she unzips my pants. It was kind of obvious she liked girls because she made it hurt, no teeth, it just hurt for some reason. I'm looking over at the stairs to make sure her daughter isn't coming down the stairs or whatever but we both here, "mom! stop!" I didn't see her at all. Anyways, I pretty much went home after that.

Cliffnotes: I got cock-blocked by a lesbian's eight year old daughter.

aaaaand now her daughter is a lesbian too. Good job.

afroannnie · November 2011

afroannnie wrote:

Cavstarr313 wrote:

I got drunk in windsor one time and yada yada yada,, I am not allowed in Canananananada anymore..

Maybe there should be another thread for places people got kicked out of/not welcome back to...

After another NYE incident, my family was no longer invited to any neighborhood parties...most of the blame apparently was placed on me...okay so maybe it was my idea to do blow job shots "the right way", but I was only 18 at the time..so it wasn't like I was the one who brought the alcohol...

I guess I can tell the "full" story about how my family got kicked out of all future neighborhood parties...
Like I said, I was 18,home from college for winter break..My family (my mom, stepdad, sister (8 at the time) and brother (6 at the time) along with another couple from the neighborhood headed down to the neighbor's house. We brought kahlua, bailey's and whipped cream to make bj shots. Of course, the correct way to do these shots, is without using your hands, so that's the way I took the shots. Well, apparently this is frowned upon in certain neighborhoods of conservative PA, so the wives got a little upset and at some point..probably close to 11:30 we were asked to leave. :?
Of course...since it was still before midnight, we weren't ready to stop partying and my stepdad's b-day is new year's day...so we had to celebrate. My parents decide we should just stroll down the street and go to another party. The husband of the couple that headed to the first house with us said something like "Cool! I want to go with you guys!" Then his wife gave him a look and he changed his mind

So as we walk to the next house we pass around a bottle of champagne (I remember my mom having the bottle...not sure where it came from...maybe she stole it from the neighbor's house

) We arrive to the next house at the perfect time...oh about 5 minutes before midnight

We received quite a few looks for crashing the party so close to midnight...apparently this is also frowned upon. :? At this point, my stepdad is pretty drunk so he begins singing happy birthday to himself

:?
I decide to also start singing but I decide to sing daughter (Vs. came out that previous oct.). I'm pretty sure at this point we were once again asked to leave...so we walked back home.
The next morning I found out my stepdad spent the rest of the night hugging mr. toilet bowl... :shock:
And to this day..every NYE my parents remind me that they are no longer invited to neighborhood party's because of that evening.

Leezestarr313 · November 2011

afroannnie wrote:

afroannnie wrote:

Cavstarr313 wrote:

I got drunk in windsor one time and yada yada yada,, I am not allowed in Canananananada anymore..

Maybe there should be another thread for places people got kicked out of/not welcome back to...

After another NYE incident, my family was no longer invited to any neighborhood parties...most of the blame apparently was placed on me...okay so maybe it was my idea to do blow job shots "the right way", but I was only 18 at the time..so it wasn't like I was the one who brought the alcohol...

I guess I can tell the "full" story about how my family got kicked out of all future neighborhood parties...
Like I said, I was 18,home from college for winter break..My family (my mom, stepdad, sister (8 at the time) and brother (6 at the time) along with another couple from the neighborhood headed down to the neighbor's house. We brought kahlua, bailey's and whipped cream to make bj shots. Of course, the correct way to do these shots, is without using your hands, so that's the way I took the shots. Well, apparently this is frowned upon in certain neighborhoods of conservative PA, so the wives got a little upset and at some point..probably close to 11:30 we were asked to leave. :?
Of course...since it was still before midnight, we weren't ready to stop partying and my stepdad's b-day is new year's day...so we had to celebrate. My parents decide we should just stroll down the street and go to another party. The husband of the couple that headed to the first house with us said something like "Cool! I want to go with you guys!" Then his wife gave him a look and he changed his mind
So as we walk to the next house we pass around a bottle of champagne (I remember my mom having the bottle...not sure where it came from...maybe she stole it from the neighbor's house ) We arrive to the next house at the perfect time...oh about 5 minutes before midnight
We received quite a few looks for crashing the party so close to midnight...apparently this is also frowned upon. :? At this point, my stepdad is pretty drunk so he begins singing happy birthday to himself :?
I decide to also start singing but I decide to sing daughter (Vs. came out that previous oct.). I'm pretty sure at this point we were once again asked to leave...so we walked back home.
The next morning I found out my stepdad spent the rest of the night hugging mr. toilet bowl... :shock:
And to this day..every NYE my parents remind me that they are no longer invited to neighborhood party's because of that evening.

Sound like your family is fun to be around with!

afroannnie · November 2011

Leeze wrote:

Sound like your family is fun to be around with!

Yep..I'm lucky to have parents that like to have fun and enjoy great music too...they watched PJ Twenty when it was on PBS the other night. After the movie my mom started texting me about eddie and that they want to go to a show soon. I told her that they're in SA now...she said let's go to SA!

She's a crazy lady.

Leezestarr313 · November 2011

afroannnie wrote:

Leeze wrote:

Sound like your family is fun to be around with!

Yep..I'm lucky to have parents that like to have fun and enjoy great music too...they watched PJ Twenty when it was on PBS the other night. After the movie my mom started texting me about eddie and that they want to go to a show soon. I told her that they're in SA now...she said let's go to SA! She's a crazy lady.

:thumbup:

I made my mom a PJ mixdisc and I think she would enjoy it, too

Not so sure about my stepdad, but he loved the Stones and Hendrix when he was younger, so he would probably enjoy a proper Rock 'n' Roll show ...

afroannnie · November 2011

Leeze wrote:

afroannnie wrote:

Leeze wrote:

Sound like your family is fun to be around with!

Yep..I'm lucky to have parents that like to have fun and enjoy great music too...they watched PJ Twenty when it was on PBS the other night. After the movie my mom started texting me about eddie and that they want to go to a show soon. I told her that they're in SA now...she said let's go to SA! She's a crazy lady.

:thumbup: I made my mom a PJ mixdisc and I think she would enjoy it, too Not so sure about my stepdad, but he loved the Stones and Hendrix when he was younger, so he would probably enjoy a proper Rock 'n' Roll show ...

My stepdad is a huge Stones fan ( also Pink Floyd, Zeppelin, and the Who) and he likes PJ. If your stepdad likes classic rock he would probably at least appreciate Pearl Jam for the music

If he likes Hendrix, I'm sure he would enjoy some of Mike's solos

DS1119 · November 2011

afroannnie wrote:

afroannnie wrote:

Cavstarr313 wrote:

I got drunk in windsor one time and yada yada yada,, I am not allowed in Canananananada anymore..

Maybe there should be another thread for places people got kicked out of/not welcome back to...

After another NYE incident, my family was no longer invited to any neighborhood parties...most of the blame apparently was placed on me...okay so maybe it was my idea to do blow job shots "the right way", but I was only 18 at the time..so it wasn't like I was the one who brought the alcohol...

I guess I can tell the "full" story about how my family got kicked out of all future neighborhood parties...
Like I said, I was 18,home from college for winter break..My family (my mom, stepdad, sister (8 at the time) and brother (6 at the time) along with another couple from the neighborhood headed down to the neighbor's house. We brought kahlua, bailey's and whipped cream to make bj shots. Of course, the correct way to do these shots, is without using your hands, so that's the way I took the shots. Well, apparently this is frowned upon in certain neighborhoods of conservative PA, so the wives got a little upset and at some point..probably close to 11:30 we were asked to leave. :?
Of course...since it was still before midnight, we weren't ready to stop partying and my stepdad's b-day is new year's day...so we had to celebrate. My parents decide we should just stroll down the street and go to another party. The husband of the couple that headed to the first house with us said something like "Cool! I want to go with you guys!" Then his wife gave him a look and he changed his mind
So as we walk to the next house we pass around a bottle of champagne (I remember my mom having the bottle...not sure where it came from...maybe she stole it from the neighbor's house ) We arrive to the next house at the perfect time...oh about 5 minutes before midnight
We received quite a few looks for crashing the party so close to midnight...apparently this is also frowned upon. :? At this point, my stepdad is pretty drunk so he begins singing happy birthday to himself :?
I decide to also start singing but I decide to sing daughter (Vs. came out that previous oct.). I'm pretty sure at this point we were once again asked to leave...so we walked back home.
The next morning I found out my stepdad spent the rest of the night hugging mr. toilet bowl... :shock:
And to this day..every NYE my parents remind me that they are no longer invited to neighborhood party's because of that evening.

:thumbup:

norm · November 2011

alright ds, since you're feeling shitty right now, this one's for you

new years eve '99....this is how i spent the first few hours of the 21st century....

y2k.jpg?t=1320451069

friggin' jello shots :sick: :evil:

Drunk stories...

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