PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

We had our first real newcomer come to the group today (and a record attendance of 7 people!) Boy, did it help remind me what it was like for me in September 09. The fear, the uncertainty... 24 hours and eternity being exactly the same thing in my mind. We just tried to tell him that it gets better.

Are there people going that are in multiple or other 12 step programs?

In a 2011 interview[87], Chris Cornell said the major change with the reformed Soundgarden is a lack of alcohol: "The biggest difference I noticed.. and we haven't even really talked about it: There are no bottles of Jack Daniels around or beers. And we never talked about.. it's just not there."

sober is better !
and still rocking our faces off!

and not have a hangover in the morning!

hail hail the lucky ones
I refer to those in AA !

how long after you realized you had the problem did you actually take that first step?

i shit and i stink wrote:

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

how long after you realized you had the problem did you actually take that first step?

For me it took about 12 years, I guess. I knew at 18 that I didn't drink like other people but I thought it would take care of itself over time. It didn't. When I was 30 I finally admitted defeat and acknowledged that I was absolutely powerless over alcohol and other things.

Step one says that we "admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable". I suppose I knew early on that I was an alcholic but didn't realise that I had no power to change that, as I didn't understand the progressive nature of the disease. I also didn't think that my life was truly unmanageable but once I started the program I realised that it was pretty damned close. I'm glad I caught that just in time.

thanks for the response. I'm pretty certain I am an alcoholic. I don't drink everyday. I'm a binger (last night I went out after finishing 13 oz bottle of Crown Royal-took the bus of course!-then had a few beers). I've tried stopping on my own a couple times. Lasted for a while. The problem is, I don't drink when I'm stressed. I drink because I LIKE TO. How can I quit something I enjoy doing? it doesn't affect my job. my wife thinks I should stop, so I guess it effects my marriage a little, but it's hard to say, because she's very uptight and it's hard to know if she's right or if she's just being a naggy wife. Example: not only does she always ask "do you really NEED another drink?". trade the word "drink" for "bag of chips", "pearl jam cd", "record", even "coffee"-see what I'm getting at?

I feel an extreme amount of guilt, though, when I'm playing with my kids the morning after the night before and I'm sluggish or whatever, but I know I'm also really hard on myself too, so it's really tough for me to know.

is it kind of the rule of thumb that if you think you are an alcoholic that you probably are?

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

how long after you realized you had the problem did you actually take that first step?

I would say I went at least 7 years from the time I knew (and could sometimes admit) that I had a problem, and the time I did something about it.

I drank to get drunk. Not to relax, or unwind, or take the edge off - my sole objective was to reach a level of intoxication that allowed me to forget who I was. I knew this at 16.

My friends could drink to unwind. One of them asked me, "It's cool that you get drunk and all. But, why do you always have to be the drunkest one there?!" Because these saps can't keep up, I told her!

Yeah, 7 years, give or take. I knew I had a problem, but I liked my problem. Drinking brought me great pleasure. Eventually, it was the only thing in my life that did. Everything else was gone.

It was several painful years after that before I was willing to face the scariest prospect I had considered up until that point: If I stopped drinking, what would be left of me? What would be left for me?

"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

oona left wrote:

If I stopped drinking, what would be left of me? What would be left for me?

"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").

this is one of my biggest hurdles as well. it's such a big part of my life. I can't imagine NOT:

-having a cold beer on a hot day
-enjoying a Crown on a friday evening after work
-enjoying a glass of wine with a nice steak out with my wife

you get the picture.

I read something that helped me today:

"Development is partly a growth in our ability to learn from experience and choose how and when to satisfy our desires - and which ones are best left unsatisfied. Healthy men can live very well with some desires unfulfilled."

I couldn't do that before. I'm trying now.

As for thinking about all that stuff above, if you try the program, I'd recommend not thinking about it. The moment I starting thinking 'never again will I...', I immediately just wanna drink so bad. It's a 24 hour program. All we do is say, I won't do it today. If you do that every day, it doesn't scare the crap outta ya

mickeyrat wrote:

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

oona left wrote:

If I stopped drinking, what would be left of me? What would be left for me?

"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").

this is one of my biggest hurdles as well. it's such a big part of my life. I can't imagine NOT:

-having a cold beer on a hot day
-enjoying a Crown on a friday evening after work
-enjoying a glass of wine with a nice steak out with my wife

you get the picture.

something key about these statements. The letter a. As in a single beer. a single Crown. A single glass of wine.

The question you could ask yourself is, have I really stopped at one of anything?

yes, actually, and quite often. that's what keeps taking me back to the "I don't have a problem, I just have a good time sometimes" line of thinking. Because I don't have a problem ALL THE TIME, which is what people think when they think of alcoholics. They don't think of the sober guy that just always has a drink in his hands. They aren't thinking of the person that depends on that one drink after work once a day, but still, they DEPEND on it, so it's an issue.

I'm fighting constantly telling myself that I'm fine.

Sipping from a Crown and coke as I type this. No joke.