Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
in two months from today, I will being seeing PJ for the second time sober.( really third time but I got stoned after the first show back in '94)
man I'm getting old. Fat and old. spent the afternoon at Niagara Falls. On my feet the whole time. Then The band didnt really stay off stage for a decent sitting break. Satyed side stage fro about 2 minutes each encore break. Dogs were barking come show closing!!
Awesome weekend though. None of it possible without being sober. Tix and hotel paid for 2 1/2 months prior.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
In This Issue...
On Motherhood and Alcohol
More Recent Articles
Search One Crafty Mother
On Motherhood and Alcohol
This week has been nothing short of miraculous.
Here's how that past five days have gone down:
My husband is away on his annual fishing trip
My son threw up all night on Sunday
I got a bad chest cold with a hacking cough that robbed me of what little sleep I could have gotten.
My daughter threw up all night on Tuesday night.
The Sox won the ACLS, and played the first game of the World Series.
So why is this miraculous? It sounds like a tough go of it, doesn't it?
Because any ONE of these things would have been something I drank over, in the past. The biggie would have been my husband going away. When he was gone, I could drink more than one or two glasses of wine without being sneaky about it, or making up excuses. And heck, when he was gone life felt harder ... I deserved it.
Sick kids was another reason to drink. Long nights, exhausted days. Having a child home all day for four consecutive days on little or no sleep. Falling behind on work. Also reasons to reward myself with a few glasses at night.
Even being sick myself was a reason to drink. Wine is a great cough suppressant (or, at least it made me care less that I didn't feel well).
And I used to love it when Boston teams made playoffs, not as a sports enthusiast but because then everyone pretty much drank like me. It normalized my drinking.
It is nothing short of a miracle that all these things happened in the span of five days and not once did it occur to me to drink.
I thought wine made me more patient, more loving in the face of long days and hard nights. I thought drinking both dulled down the tough stuff while enhancing the fun stuff, like playoff games.
I was wrong.
Caring for sick kids totally sober and present is so much better. I'm not itching to duck away and take a sip of wine. I'm not cranky and short, nursing a headache the next day. My patience is - surprisingly - infinite. I am calm, grounded, and collected.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself that I have to go through all this without the help of my husband, I am totally focused on them and their care.
And who knew that watching playoff games was more fun sober?
Sometimes I forget to remember that recovery is a miracle. I forget to shout from the rooftops that recovery HAPPENS. We do heal, and we can handle so much more sober than we ever could drinking, and it's better. So, so much better.
We live in a culture that tells women, and especially mothers, that drinking is their right, dammit, for all they do, all they juggle. Moms talk all the time about deserving their wine at the end of a long day - whether they work outside of the home or not. You don't have to look further than Facebook to see women talking up their hard earned glass of wine.
I am not saying that everyone is an alcoholic. Indeed, for normal drinkers who actually can have a glass or two now and then, why not?
But with all the marketing and publicity about women and their wine, it has become almost the norm for women to use alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Before you shoot off that email to me saying you enjoy your wine and don't use it to cope, or leave a flaming comment that many people drink normally and I'm generalizing, think about how often you hear women talking about alcohol as a reward. I know, I know - men have been doing this for years, so it's unfair to pin this on women just because they are also mothers.
But here is the reality: most women still have primary care giving responsibility for kids, even if they work outside the home. The pressures and expectations put on women are different than men. The marketing messages are different, too: you are supposed to do it all, and do it with a smile on your face. You deserve this. Alcohol will help. We live in a culture where alcohol is marketed to women as a way to cope and/or enhance.
Take the wine "Mommy Juice". Here is their label:
A woman managing all her responsibilities: work, housework, cooking and kids, with a serene smile on her face.
Here is the first paragraph on the splash page of their website:
"Being a mom is a constant juggling act. Whether it’s play dates and homework, diapers and burp cloths, or finding that perfect balance between work and home, Moms everywhere deserve a break. So tuck your kids into bed, sit down and have a glass of MommyJuice — because you deserve it!"
The bold print is not mine; it's theirs.
And there is Girls' Night Out wines:
"When women get together, curious things happen. There are unwritten rules that we all follow. It’s a club that you can only be part of as a woman. And all are welcome. We talk, we laugh, we eat and we drink, but we also support, encourage, applaud and share. It is for this inclusive club for women that we created Girls’ Night Out wines.
Whether you’re going out to meet with your book club, having a pot luck dinner, getting ready for a night out on the town, or staying in to watch a DVD, Girls' Night Out goes with anything."
Hey - at least they are being up front about a phenomenon that is everywhere.
I am not naïve enough to believe this is going to change, even in the face of really alarming statistics about women and drinking, and the sharp increase in binge drinking among girls. Whether we realize it or not, the message that wine is a coping mechanism -something to help us tolerate them - is reaching our children.
I understand why women prickle when it is implied that their drinking may impair their parenting. After all, we don't hear that said about men, do we?
Men have been marketed to all along that they deserve their cocktail for all their hard work. It's just that parenting isn't thrown into the mix. And certainly no company ever marketed to Dads that alcohol actually enhanced their parenting experience.
So why is this so dangerous for women?
The scary truth is that alcohol effects women's health far more than men's. We weigh less and have more body fat, which means we metabolize alcohol differently. Hormones also impact how alcohol effects our bodies. Simply put, we can't drink like men without suffering dire health consequences. Alcohol is a carcinogen. It is linked to breast cancer and heart disease (despite the campaign that moderate drinking of red wine is good for your heart .. that is only if you drink one glass every other day).
Saddest of all, I think, is that alcohol disappears us. Instead of making us more present for our children, or more patient, or more loving, it is doing the opposite. You don't have to be an alcoholic to have this happen. The message by marketers tells us that it's making us better Moms, when in fact it's doing the opposite.
And our kids are watching. You don't have to be an alcoholic, or even close to it, to be less present for your kids through drinking.
Mainly I just want to add my voice as a counter-balancing point to all the marketing about how alcohol makes our lives better.
As a woman and mother in recovery, I am here to say it doesn't. It temporarily alters our reality, which isn't inherently a bad thing. But the message that somehow our lives are better with a glass of wine is just wrong.
~~~~
Most of these thoughts are sparked by Ann Dowsett Johnston's new book, Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol.. She is an incredible writer, and her book is a terrific combination of story-telling and facts. She writes about The MommyJuice and Girls' Night Out marketing campaigns in her book - I would never have known about these (because I don't buy wine anymore) otherwise. I highly recommend her book - whether you are in recovery or not. Every woman, every Mom, needs to hear what Ann has to say. I was not compensated in any way to say this - she did send me a copy of her book to read but this is not a sponsored post. And the prologue to this book is, quite simply, the best description of addiction I have ever read.
I am excited and honored that Ann will be a guest on The Bubble Hour on November 10th, so
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Show #6 for me coming up in Sady Eggo. First show back in mid 90's. Sober at all of them. Just got 24 years. PJ has helped me through some tough times, as well. Keep on keepin' on.
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
Show #6 for me coming up in Sady Eggo. First show back in mid 90's. Sober at all of them. Just got 24 years. PJ has helped me through some tough times, as well. Keep on keepin' on.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I know the answer isn't a simple one, but how can u help somebody that doesn't want to be helped?
just had to physically remove my brother from my parents house...again
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
I know the answer isn't a simple one, but how can u help somebody that doesn't want to be helped?
just had to physically remove my brother from my parents house...again
You can't really. What you can do that may in the end help is to protect yourselves from him by cutting him off for you all. Difficult to do but as lnong as he has a soft spot to land nothing likely to change.
Look into Alanon at least online, you and your parents may get some dire3ction and help for yourselves on how to better deal with him.
I vote cut him loose. Best thing that happend FOR me. To him it will seem like TO him but if he gets moving in a different direction that veiwpoint will probably change
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
they handed me Ed's wine at LA night 2 - i was a little confused and shocked but handed it back and said i don't drink anymore -- got some shit from a couple people about how i should at least taste it - at which point i explained "one taste and by morning it will be hookers and blow in Vegas"
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
they handed me Ed's wine at LA night 2 - i was a little confused and shocked but handed it back and said i don't drink anymore -- got some shit from a couple people about how i should at least taste it - at which point i explained "one taste and by morning it will be hookers and blow in Vegas"
Good for you on both the experience and your decision. I really like that answer too!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I know the answer isn't a simple one, but how can u help somebody that doesn't want to be helped?
just had to physically remove my brother from my parents house...again
You can't really. What you can do that may in the end help is to protect yourselves from him by cutting him off for you all. Difficult to do but as lnong as he has a soft spot to land nothing likely to change.
Look into Alanon at least online, you and your parents may get some dire3ction and help for yourselves on how to better deal with him.
I vote cut him loose. Best thing that happend FOR me. To him it will seem like TO him but if he gets moving in a different direction that veiwpoint will probably change
yea, kinda knew the answer I guess.
I cut him off months ago when he laughed about alanon. think my parents just got to there breaking point last night. he doesn't live there, but got thrown out of his gf's and doesn't have any friends...or a job. so I guess this should be the rock bottom moment....
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
Might be one. Sounds like he's in a right good spot for it.
Good luck to your family. Happy to listen or help anyway I can.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
0
Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to everyone. Hope your day was filled with love and laughter.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
0
Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
0
Options
mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
And yes, yes it is. Little did I know 8 years ago today, that on the 18th I would make a decision that has changed my life in ways I could not even imagine. Man........what a ride its been so far!!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
And yes, yes it is. Little did I know 8 years ago today, that on the 18th I would make a decision that has changed my life in ways I could not even imagine. Man........what a ride its been so far!!!!
I knew there had to be a FOB (and FOB offshoot) thread on here!!
Hi - I'm Nancy and I've been in recovery for 17 years, 5 months, 1 week and 6 days, by the grace of God (i'm not religious, but i cannot speak about sobriety without adding that or 'godwilling' when talking about an upcoming anniversary. It just feels wrong. I am spiritual, i think we kind of have to be.). It took about 3 years, the end of a marriage, the end of an awesome career and a 1995 tour of Northeastern Rehabs/Psych Wards before the rooms got me (I have always thought WAY too much, so it was during a time of tragedy, when my mind was numb that, instead of turning to the bottle, I surrendered, without thought).
I always looked at people who had more than a couple of years, when i was trying to get more than a day or two in a row together, and I thought that they were all lying. I could not believe that someone would actually remain sober for that long. I just thought that once i got passed how bad things had gotten, I would be able to go back to being 'normal'. Thankfully, that bit of denial went away quickly.
I was interested in mydogmookieblaylock's story of being handed the bottle at a show and the ensuing details. I am new to the board, but not to PJ. I have never seen them live, which is something I am going to remedy as soon as possible. And I've thought about that exact situation; being handed a bottle and not seeming like an ungrateful asshole. Thanks for your story.
Life has been very difficult lately - I've lost my dad & brother in sobriety; but my sister who has always been there to school me on real life at pivotal points, who finally got pregnant the day i had my son and then they had another child - so we have been raising our kids together since they are all 1 year apart; the person who i could tell anything or just say one word and understood volumes and who i also fought with like two bull-headed Irish women can do; my dear sister Patty died in September - one day we were down the shore (Jersey) and two months later she was dead of cancer. My son, who i raised as a single mother for 15 years, and who has brought me more joy than i can ever explain, started high school and began to see his father. Simply put, it's illegal and so detrimental. We have no relationship, his life is spinning out of control and he has special needs which are not being met. I am his sole legal parent and have tried everything before going to the court, so as not to screw him up more. But I have no other recourse now.
The two situations have brought me to my knees in much the same way drinking did. Difference being, I can remember everything and (frequently) make good choices. I have also acted out of sheer raw emotion, which is not a very sober thing to do.
I haven't been to a meeting in a long time, i can list excuses, but i fell out of the routine while raising my son and it really is something that becomes habit - either going or not going I went daily for 10 years and then a couple times a week, but about 5 years ago I went to a meeting, shared about my brother and never went back.. I can feel my emotions taking control of my actions and reactions more and more. I am in desperate need of restoration of sanity. So I found you guys, posted this and I'm calling a friend and hitting a meeting this weekend. I know that feeling, when leaving a meeting, where being overwhelmed has been lifted, and I don't know why i've waited so long (laziness, false pride?). Doesn't matter - i can only go forward, thank God.
On a PJ related note - I've been listening to Present Tense a lot lately - kick myself in the ass to get my life back on track. Or as i saw in a video - EV described the song as being 'scared alive'. I completely get that - I'm sick of existing and not living - i've been here before and i deserve more, we all do.
Thanks for giving me a forum to share, I hope i followed the rules of this thread. I'd be interested to know if people attend meetings together while travelling to shows. I've done that before while travelling for music, vacation, work, etc. Anything that you can enlighten me with is always appreciated.
Oops, almost forgot to congratulate mickeyrat on 8 years! Good for you! =D>
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
pass it on and pull out my 24 hour medallion and toss it to Ed. Then point to Mike and say I'm like him.
That is a great idea, you've obviously thought about this. I would just have to remember not to pass the coin, hand Ed the bottle and point to Ed telling Mike 'I'm just like him'. Thanks.
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mickeyrat
up my ass, like Chadwick was up his Posts: 35,802
I have to say, it lifts the spirit. Today a poster on the boards is celebrating 60 days. Not going to out them as its there choice to post in here or not. Have been in regular contact via PM. Its been important to my sobriety helping as I am able. Another former poster in here is coming up on 5 years in Sept!!!!
And to think, I only wanted to know if there were folks like me here. Had no clue some might be inspired to look at themselves and make a positive change for themselves. Am immensely grateful for the ways in which HP can work.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
This is the thread I was originally looking for, thanks for the redirect Hobbes! Nov. 5 makes four months for me! Can't wait to see what sober life holds!
This is the thread I was originally looking for, thanks for the redirect Hobbes! Nov. 5 makes four months for me! Can't wait to see what sober life holds!
Congrats on 4 months :-bd
Sooo... anything special happen today? Sarcasm! I know you quit your job today. Fuck them! Keep taking those punches. You have 4 months of sobriety! That is fucking awesome!
Comments
Sorry!
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Awesome weekend though. None of it possible without being sober. Tix and hotel paid for 2 1/2 months prior.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
He wore the shirt last night in Philly.
He wore the shirt last night in Philly.
http://www.onecraftymother.com/2013/10/ ... l.html?m=1
One Crafty Mother
In This Issue...
On Motherhood and Alcohol
More Recent Articles
Search One Crafty Mother
On Motherhood and Alcohol
This week has been nothing short of miraculous.
Here's how that past five days have gone down:
My husband is away on his annual fishing trip
My son threw up all night on Sunday
I got a bad chest cold with a hacking cough that robbed me of what little sleep I could have gotten.
My daughter threw up all night on Tuesday night.
The Sox won the ACLS, and played the first game of the World Series.
So why is this miraculous? It sounds like a tough go of it, doesn't it?
Because any ONE of these things would have been something I drank over, in the past. The biggie would have been my husband going away. When he was gone, I could drink more than one or two glasses of wine without being sneaky about it, or making up excuses. And heck, when he was gone life felt harder ... I deserved it.
Sick kids was another reason to drink. Long nights, exhausted days. Having a child home all day for four consecutive days on little or no sleep. Falling behind on work. Also reasons to reward myself with a few glasses at night.
Even being sick myself was a reason to drink. Wine is a great cough suppressant (or, at least it made me care less that I didn't feel well).
And I used to love it when Boston teams made playoffs, not as a sports enthusiast but because then everyone pretty much drank like me. It normalized my drinking.
It is nothing short of a miracle that all these things happened in the span of five days and not once did it occur to me to drink.
I thought wine made me more patient, more loving in the face of long days and hard nights. I thought drinking both dulled down the tough stuff while enhancing the fun stuff, like playoff games.
I was wrong.
Caring for sick kids totally sober and present is so much better. I'm not itching to duck away and take a sip of wine. I'm not cranky and short, nursing a headache the next day. My patience is - surprisingly - infinite. I am calm, grounded, and collected.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself that I have to go through all this without the help of my husband, I am totally focused on them and their care.
And who knew that watching playoff games was more fun sober?
Sometimes I forget to remember that recovery is a miracle. I forget to shout from the rooftops that recovery HAPPENS. We do heal, and we can handle so much more sober than we ever could drinking, and it's better. So, so much better.
We live in a culture that tells women, and especially mothers, that drinking is their right, dammit, for all they do, all they juggle. Moms talk all the time about deserving their wine at the end of a long day - whether they work outside of the home or not. You don't have to look further than Facebook to see women talking up their hard earned glass of wine.
I am not saying that everyone is an alcoholic. Indeed, for normal drinkers who actually can have a glass or two now and then, why not?
But with all the marketing and publicity about women and their wine, it has become almost the norm for women to use alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Before you shoot off that email to me saying you enjoy your wine and don't use it to cope, or leave a flaming comment that many people drink normally and I'm generalizing, think about how often you hear women talking about alcohol as a reward. I know, I know - men have been doing this for years, so it's unfair to pin this on women just because they are also mothers.
But here is the reality: most women still have primary care giving responsibility for kids, even if they work outside the home. The pressures and expectations put on women are different than men. The marketing messages are different, too: you are supposed to do it all, and do it with a smile on your face. You deserve this. Alcohol will help. We live in a culture where alcohol is marketed to women as a way to cope and/or enhance.
Take the wine "Mommy Juice". Here is their label:
A woman managing all her responsibilities: work, housework, cooking and kids, with a serene smile on her face.
Here is the first paragraph on the splash page of their website:
"Being a mom is a constant juggling act. Whether it’s play dates and homework, diapers and burp cloths, or finding that perfect balance between work and home, Moms everywhere deserve a break. So tuck your kids into bed, sit down and have a glass of MommyJuice — because you deserve it!"
The bold print is not mine; it's theirs.
And there is Girls' Night Out wines:
"When women get together, curious things happen. There are unwritten rules that we all follow. It’s a club that you can only be part of as a woman. And all are welcome. We talk, we laugh, we eat and we drink, but we also support, encourage, applaud and share. It is for this inclusive club for women that we created Girls’ Night Out wines.
Whether you’re going out to meet with your book club, having a pot luck dinner, getting ready for a night out on the town, or staying in to watch a DVD, Girls' Night Out goes with anything."
Hey - at least they are being up front about a phenomenon that is everywhere.
I am not naïve enough to believe this is going to change, even in the face of really alarming statistics about women and drinking, and the sharp increase in binge drinking among girls. Whether we realize it or not, the message that wine is a coping mechanism -something to help us tolerate them - is reaching our children.
I understand why women prickle when it is implied that their drinking may impair their parenting. After all, we don't hear that said about men, do we?
Men have been marketed to all along that they deserve their cocktail for all their hard work. It's just that parenting isn't thrown into the mix. And certainly no company ever marketed to Dads that alcohol actually enhanced their parenting experience.
So why is this so dangerous for women?
The scary truth is that alcohol effects women's health far more than men's. We weigh less and have more body fat, which means we metabolize alcohol differently. Hormones also impact how alcohol effects our bodies. Simply put, we can't drink like men without suffering dire health consequences. Alcohol is a carcinogen. It is linked to breast cancer and heart disease (despite the campaign that moderate drinking of red wine is good for your heart .. that is only if you drink one glass every other day).
Saddest of all, I think, is that alcohol disappears us. Instead of making us more present for our children, or more patient, or more loving, it is doing the opposite. You don't have to be an alcoholic to have this happen. The message by marketers tells us that it's making us better Moms, when in fact it's doing the opposite.
And our kids are watching. You don't have to be an alcoholic, or even close to it, to be less present for your kids through drinking.
Mainly I just want to add my voice as a counter-balancing point to all the marketing about how alcohol makes our lives better.
As a woman and mother in recovery, I am here to say it doesn't. It temporarily alters our reality, which isn't inherently a bad thing. But the message that somehow our lives are better with a glass of wine is just wrong.
~~~~
Most of these thoughts are sparked by Ann Dowsett Johnston's new book, Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol.. She is an incredible writer, and her book is a terrific combination of story-telling and facts. She writes about The MommyJuice and Girls' Night Out marketing campaigns in her book - I would never have known about these (because I don't buy wine anymore) otherwise. I highly recommend her book - whether you are in recovery or not. Every woman, every Mom, needs to hear what Ann has to say. I was not compensated in any way to say this - she did send me a copy of her book to read but this is not a sponsored post. And the prologue to this book is, quite simply, the best description of addiction I have ever read.
I am excited and honored that Ann will be a guest on The Bubble Hour on November 10th, so
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
One thing is for sure, this too shall pass, if you let them.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Welcome. Could certainly use your experience.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
anyone have any experience with this drug?
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
just had to physically remove my brother from my parents house...again
Look into Alanon at least online, you and your parents may get some dire3ction and help for yourselves on how to better deal with him.
I vote cut him loose. Best thing that happend FOR me. To him it will seem like TO him but if he gets moving in a different direction that veiwpoint will probably change
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
yea, kinda knew the answer I guess.
I cut him off months ago when he laughed about alanon. think my parents just got to there breaking point last night. he doesn't live there, but got thrown out of his gf's and doesn't have any friends...or a job. so I guess this should be the rock bottom moment....
Good luck to your family. Happy to listen or help anyway I can.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
=D>
Hi - I'm Nancy and I've been in recovery for 17 years, 5 months, 1 week and 6 days, by the grace of God (i'm not religious, but i cannot speak about sobriety without adding that or 'godwilling' when talking about an upcoming anniversary. It just feels wrong. I am spiritual, i think we kind of have to be.). It took about 3 years, the end of a marriage, the end of an awesome career and a 1995 tour of Northeastern Rehabs/Psych Wards before the rooms got me (I have always thought WAY too much, so it was during a time of tragedy, when my mind was numb that, instead of turning to the bottle, I surrendered, without thought).
I always looked at people who had more than a couple of years, when i was trying to get more than a day or two in a row together, and I thought that they were all lying. I could not believe that someone would actually remain sober for that long. I just thought that once i got passed how bad things had gotten, I would be able to go back to being 'normal'. Thankfully, that bit of denial went away quickly.
I was interested in mydogmookieblaylock's story of being handed the bottle at a show and the ensuing details. I am new to the board, but not to PJ. I have never seen them live, which is something I am going to remedy as soon as possible. And I've thought about that exact situation; being handed a bottle and not seeming like an ungrateful asshole. Thanks for your story.
Life has been very difficult lately - I've lost my dad & brother in sobriety; but my sister who has always been there to school me on real life at pivotal points, who finally got pregnant the day i had my son and then they had another child - so we have been raising our kids together since they are all 1 year apart; the person who i could tell anything or just say one word and understood volumes and who i also fought with like two bull-headed Irish women can do; my dear sister Patty died in September - one day we were down the shore (Jersey) and two months later she was dead of cancer. My son, who i raised as a single mother for 15 years, and who has brought me more joy than i can ever explain, started high school and began to see his father. Simply put, it's illegal and so detrimental. We have no relationship, his life is spinning out of control and he has special needs which are not being met. I am his sole legal parent and have tried everything before going to the court, so as not to screw him up more. But I have no other recourse now.
The two situations have brought me to my knees in much the same way drinking did. Difference being, I can remember everything and (frequently) make good choices. I have also acted out of sheer raw emotion, which is not a very sober thing to do.
I haven't been to a meeting in a long time, i can list excuses, but i fell out of the routine while raising my son and it really is something that becomes habit - either going or not going I went daily for 10 years and then a couple times a week, but about 5 years ago I went to a meeting, shared about my brother and never went back.. I can feel my emotions taking control of my actions and reactions more and more. I am in desperate need of restoration of sanity. So I found you guys, posted this and I'm calling a friend and hitting a meeting this weekend. I know that feeling, when leaving a meeting, where being overwhelmed has been lifted, and I don't know why i've waited so long (laziness, false pride?). Doesn't matter - i can only go forward, thank God.
On a PJ related note - I've been listening to Present Tense a lot lately - kick myself in the ass to get my life back on track. Or as i saw in a video - EV described the song as being 'scared alive'. I completely get that - I'm sick of existing and not living - i've been here before and i deserve more, we all do.
Thanks for giving me a forum to share, I hope i followed the rules of this thread. I'd be interested to know if people attend meetings together while travelling to shows. I've done that before while travelling for music, vacation, work, etc. Anything that you can enlighten me with is always appreciated.
Oops, almost forgot to congratulate mickeyrat on 8 years! Good for you! =D>
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
And to think, I only wanted to know if there were folks like me here. Had no clue some might be inspired to look at themselves and make a positive change for themselves.
Am immensely grateful for the ways in which HP can work.
trips me the fuck out!!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Nov. 5 makes four months for me! Can't wait to see what sober life holds!
Sooo... anything special happen today? Sarcasm! I know you quit your job today. Fuck them! Keep taking those punches. You have 4 months of sobriety! That is fucking awesome!