Yes and I refuse to give up my four months!! Thanks for this support.. It helps a lot.. Cause I acted like an ass today, so I'm really mad at myself, but I am Also too proud of having made it this far to give up now! :-)
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Underneath this smile lies everything
all my hopes, anger, pride and shame
make yourself a pact, not to shut doors on the past
just for today,... I am free
I will not lose my faith
It's an inside job today
I know this one thing well,...
I used to try and kill love, it was the highest sin
breathing insecurity out and in
Searching hope, I'm shown the way to run straight
pursuing the greater way for all,... human light.
How I choose to feel,... Is how I am.
How I choose to feel,... Is how I am.
I will not lose my faith
It's an inside job today
Holding on, the light of night
On my knees to rise and fix my broken soul
Again.
Let me run into the rain
To be a human light again
Let me run into the rain
To shine a human light today
Life comes from within your heart and desire
Life comes from within my heart and desire
Life comes from within your heart and desire
wow - as you can see from my user name this song is so important to me on so many levels, but until I started my own recovery about 1 year ago I never realized why. my significant other was in his own program so I didn't think I needed one. I was so wrong and even in one year it has changed my life for the better. The music has always been a savior for me but now even more so because so many of the lyrics now have a much deeper meaning than before.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
9 years!! I ecstatic about ONE! How awesome that you're still here with us! And if you and that giant truck roll through COS ( Colorado Springs), ever , make sure to say hi!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I hit 30 days on Wednesday. I'm not sure if I should celebrate it or not. For the most part I have been trying as hard as I can to settle into the new life and it is a much healthier and happier version of me. I still go to the gym a ton and love food again. Food before was just a necessary evil. I ate as little as I needed to. Now I'm digging polishing off a full rack of ribs or destroying a platter of seafood. Its why I focus on the gym so hard as I refuse to gain weight unless it is muscle mass (I'm up 7 pounds of muscle already). That is where I don't know if I should celebrate this first milestone or continue on the current path and try to put all my energy into my new addiction (the gym) and keep the old one as an old memory. This seems to be working as I rarely think about the old me. My 15 year old is getting into vinyl and PJ (hallelujah one finally followed my footsteps) so it has given me a new opportunity to spend a lot of extra time with her. We ordered her first player (I just got her the audio techinica LP 60 as a starter) so she can start really listening to music. Next weekend I take her to an old fashioned rock record store so she can have the experience of flipping through bins to look for a hidden gem. Todays generation is all amazon ordering. I'm thinking in a way that should be my celebration instead of acknowledging the actual milestone. Celebrate the new me and and our stronger relationship than celebrating leaving the old me in the rear view mirror.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
I hit 30 days on Wednesday. I'm not sure if I should celebrate it or not. For the most part I have been trying as hard as I can to settle into the new life and it is a much healthier and happier version of me. I still go to the gym a ton and love food again. Food before was just a necessary evil. I ate as little as I needed to. Now I'm digging polishing off a full rack of ribs or destroying a platter of seafood. Its why I focus on the gym so hard as I refuse to gain weight unless it is muscle mass (I'm up 7 pounds of muscle already). That is where I don't know if I should celebrate this first milestone or continue on the current path and try to put all my energy into my new addiction (the gym) and keep the old one as an old memory. This seems to be working as I rarely think about the old me. My 15 year old is getting into vinyl and PJ (hallelujah one finally followed my footsteps) so it has given me a new opportunity to spend a lot of extra time with her. We ordered her first player (I just got her the audio techinica LP 60 as a starter) so she can start really listening to music. Next weekend I take her to an old fashioned rock record store so she can have the experience of flipping through bins to look for a hidden gem. Todays generation is all amazon ordering. I'm thinking in a way that should be my celebration instead of acknowledging the actual milestone. Celebrate the new me and and our stronger relationship than celebrating leaving the old me in the rear view mirror.
Honestly, I think you should celebrate as you see fit. It is a PERSONAL journey. So I think your celebration should be personal as well. When I hit six months, I went in a nice long day hike up into the mountains... Had a nice little packed lunch, took my dad's dog, and we sat by a gorgeous little creek, ate Salami and crackers, and I sang Ukelele Songs to her in its entirety.. So everyone appreciates their new sober life in their own way..
I for one am getting the happy butterflies.. On my birthday, ( July 5) will be one year with no drinking!! I am organizing a camping/peak climbing celebration with a few of my friends from my Church's sobriety group. That will be my one year celebration.
So I think your celebration sounds awesome!! Not every parent gets to have that 'second chance' at truly bonding with their kids like that!
Thank you WH. Maybe what I will do is take her to the vinyl shop, go to the gym for a long workout and then treat the family to a steak house so I can get my extra protein that I have been obsessing over. Best advice I got from someone at NA is that I will have a lot of extra mental energy and need to fill my addiction void which made 100% sense to me. The advice was to fill that with a positive addiction, thus the gym.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
Yep. It rely is the key. Mine is hiking. I have been away from Mountains for sooo long.. That I am trying to make up for it!! Lol nothing like the outdoors to make you feel instantly at peace!! Or a good work out in your case, to burn off some mental energy via deep focus. Glad you found something to help you get through this! One day at a time.. And sometimes, like yesterday, was one second at a time..
So this popped up in my participated discussions and I was like...huh? I participated in this? And then I found this, on page 8, which I wrote in 2009:
Kind of a random comment, but I really praise everyone who is participating in the 12 step program. My father was an alcoholic when I was very young, and thankfully he got sober with the help of AA, and has been sober for 14 years now. My mom, even though 9 years divorced from my dad, still goes to AlAnon meetings, as she loves the sense of community, and has even taken me to a few. This is the best thing you could possibly do for yourself. Good luck to all!
Killed me to read. I always liked to give my dad the benefit of the doubt, but when I was in his apartment after he died to find the documents I needed & all that stuff, I found empty beer bottles, alcohol in the fridge/freezer, and very recent receipts for liquor store purchases. I wanted to believe so badly that any weird little things were just my mind, but in fact he did pick up drinking again towards the end of his life KILLED me. It may have contributed to his death, it may not have. I don't know. But I'm certain it didn't help at all.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is stick with the program for the sake of all of your loved ones, but most importantly yourself.
"Sometimes you find yourself having to put all your faith in no faith."
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2 2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
balance. everything must seek balance. In that , is serenity. But it must be learned through trial and error. At least it did for me.
This is why I'm thinking in giving Buddhism a try again. The one thing Buddhism pushes for the most is balance and not being a slave to anything whether it be your possessions or even to your own brain. That resonates with me more on a personal nature than other religions. Its finding mental harmony through meditation using a different belief structure than Christianity and Islam use. I went to their meditations for a while years ago and loved it. I think it is time I try again.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Lol Chuck Norris is a total trip In person!! He an in your face conversationalist. Totally reminded me of that Seinfeld episode, with the close talker, only he is loud, and vibrates with energy! I don't think I have ever met another human that had his energy! ( oh and he sings pretty decent too! How do I know this? Went to a church once to visit with my friend, and boom he and his wife show up, and sit in our row!!)
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
July 5. Yep I quit drinking on my BIRTHDAY of all days!! Lol anyhow I'm really excited for my one year chip! I can't believe it's almost been a year already!!!
Comments
Also too proud of having made it this far to give up now! :-)
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Good reminder!!
wow - as you can see from my user name this song is so important to me on so many levels, but until I started my own recovery about 1 year ago I never realized why. my significant other was in his own program so I didn't think I needed one. I was so wrong and even in one year it has changed my life for the better. The music has always been a savior for me but now even more so because so many of the lyrics now have a much deeper meaning than before.
How I choose to feel is how I am
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
I for one am getting the happy butterflies.. On my birthday, ( July 5) will be one year with no drinking!! I am organizing a camping/peak climbing celebration with a few of my friends from my Church's sobriety group. That will be my one year celebration.
So I think your celebration sounds awesome!! Not every parent gets to have that 'second chance' at truly bonding with their kids like that!
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Mountains for sooo long.. That I am trying to make up for it!! Lol nothing like the outdoors to make you feel instantly at peace!! Or a good work out in your case, to burn off some mental energy via deep focus. Glad you found something to help you get through this! One day at a time.. And sometimes, like yesterday, was one second at a time..
So I guess what I'm trying to say is stick with the program for the sake of all of your loved ones, but most importantly yourself.
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Hardcore man. Hardcore ...
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
In person!! He an in your face conversationalist. Totally reminded me of that Seinfeld episode, with the close talker, only he is loud, and vibrates with energy! I don't think I have ever met another human that had his energy! ( oh and he sings pretty decent too! How do I know this? Went to a church once to visit with my friend, and boom he and his wife show up, and sit in our row!!)
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle