Man Laws

Options
1…89111314…16

Comments

  • tinkerbell
    tinkerbell New Zealand Posts: 2,161
    catefrances wrote:
    Cosmo wrote:
    tinkerbell wrote:
    Rule # 30
    Men should never wear pink!
    ...
    What if...
    You volunteer to crew for two events per year that raises money and awareness for Breast Cancer and you load luggage, drive 24-foot diesel trucks, unload luggage, set-up tents, carry luggage, breakdown tents and reload luggage wearing t-shirts that identify you as a volunteer crew member that are pink?

    this is totally and absolutely acceptable. and any guy who disses another in this instance will be outed as a tool.

    Agreed!
    all you need is love, love is all you need
  • Jearlpam0925
    Jearlpam0925 Deep South Philly Posts: 17,506
    catefrances wrote:
    Jearlpam0925 wrote:
    catefrances wrote:
    sounds more like the best man.

    Pink shirt, royal navy blue sport coat, captain's hat - Love Boat style. It's on the beach, and I'm going to have fun with this one.

    And, yes, here's to honor. Here's to getting on her, staying on her, and if you can't come in her, come on her.

    the wedding vows???

    Going to be my toast. Perfectly not awkward.
  • dcfaithful
    dcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Cosmo wrote:

    No Ed Hardy.

    Hell yes. Just to add to it diamond stud earrings make you look like a douchebag, and going to a tanning bed is strictly prohibited.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • The Fixer
    The Fixer Posts: 12,837
    Cosmo wrote:
    No Fanny packs (unless you are actually hiking on dirt trails... in the goddamn woods) Fanny packs should never be worn in reverse (pack in front, clip in back). If you look down and cannot see the fanny pack because your beer gut is in the way... double fault and face eviction from the gender.

    Avoid all pants that come to mid-calf. The only exception is if you are a Mexican Gang Member, a Neo-Nazi or a bassist for Pearl Jam (Note: You barely get a pass on the latter). Tight pants that come to mid-calf are called goddamn Capris! and strictly prohibited.

    The only thing you put in your hair is water. No mousse or gels or sprays. If your hair looks like shit... grow it out, get a haircut or wear a damn baseball cap.

    Baseball caps should be worn as God intended... bill in the front. The only exception is the catcher's cap with the bill directly behind (so you can wear a catcher's mask). If the bill is off at an angle greater than 5 degrees in either direction... you can be classified correctly as a Douche.

    No perfume. The only non-natural scent allowed is Ban Roll On. No one needs to smell your signature stench of too much Axe Douche spray stinking up the place and giving everyone cancer. This also applies to cologne. And if you wear toilet water... you shouldn't complain if someone sticks your head in the toilet.

    No Faux Hawks... you know, that goofy haircut that makes you looks like a goddamn cupie doll. (refer to the keep the girls hair stuff off your head rule).

    Only use terms or slang associated with black rappers... if you are black. White guys trying to talk like Snoop Dogg are asking to be shot by Snoop Dogg.

    No Ed Hardy.

    some of these are good. the fanny pack thing is too long. The first three words say it all there.

    I can't remember the last time I wore a baseball hat forward (when I wasn't playing in a game)

    Love the last two. I'd also include those cheesedick Affliction shirts as well
  • gabers
    gabers Posts: 2,787
    I don't know if this has been said yet, but real men don't wear Crocs!
  • The Fixer
    The Fixer Posts: 12,837
    gabers wrote:
    I don't know if this has been said yet, but real men don't wear Crocs!

    actually no one should wear crocs
  • dcfaithful
    dcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    The Fixer wrote:
    gabers wrote:
    I don't know if this has been said yet, but real men don't wear Crocs!

    actually no one should wear crocs

    ^ This.

    Crocs are just a terrible idea, I don't care how comfortable they are.

    Steppin' out on my front porch in the morning drinking coffee naked would be comfortable...but for everybody else's sake, I just don't do it. It's about courtesy...and not looking like an idiot (more so about the Crocs. 8-) )
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • Franny
    Franny Posts: 2,054
    81 wrote:
    Women can not create man laws


    Bahahahaha....good luck on that one!!! That's simply an invitation! :lol:
  • Jearlpam0925
    Jearlpam0925 Deep South Philly Posts: 17,506
    dcfaithful wrote:
    The Fixer wrote:
    gabers wrote:
    I don't know if this has been said yet, but real men don't wear Crocs!

    actually no one should wear crocs

    ^ This.

    Crocs are just a terrible idea, I don't care how comfortable they are.

    Steppin' out on my front porch in the morning drinking coffee naked would be comfortable...but for everybody else's sake, I just don't do it. It's about courtesy...and not looking like an idiot (more so about the Crocs. 8-) )

    As long as it's socially acceptable with the people I'm around, I will gladly gallivant around naked. Naked time is the right time.
  • The Juggler
    The Juggler Posts: 49,590
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.
    www.myspace.com
  • The Fixer
    The Fixer Posts: 12,837
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.

    haha, this is awesome.
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.

    Everyone knows the saying - give a Jeagler a fence and he'll take a mile. Something like that...
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

    Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:

    https://www.createspace.com/3437020

    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696

    http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
  • The Juggler
    The Juggler Posts: 49,590
    eyedclaar wrote:
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.

    Everyone knows the saying - give a Jeagler a fence and he'll take a mile. Something like that...

    the fence definitely makes it easier...

    this has been standard issue for years though.
    www.myspace.com
  • Yellow Ledbelly
    Yellow Ledbelly Posts: 3,749
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.
    Ain't it so! I probably piss outside as much as I do inside
    All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow

    They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
  • The Juggler
    The Juggler Posts: 49,590
    Yellow Ledbelly wrote:
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.
    Ain't it so! I probably piss outside as much as I do inside

    you're an american.

    it's your god given right to piss wherever the hell you please.
    www.myspace.com
  • dcfaithful
    dcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Yellow Ledbelly wrote:
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.
    Ain't it so! I probably piss outside as much as I do inside

    I'm actually allowed to piss absolutely anywhere. It's a benefit of my uromysitisis. :mrgreen:8-)
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    The Jeagler wrote:
    Yellow Ledbelly wrote:
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.
    Ain't it so! I probably piss outside as much as I do inside

    you're an american.

    it's your god given right to piss wherever the hell you please.

    Jeagler, say one night you are in the ol' backyard admiring the new fence, when on the other side of the barrier, you notice a red-blooded american male pissing on your fence. What do you do?
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

    Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:

    https://www.createspace.com/3437020

    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696

    http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
  • Yellow Ledbelly
    Yellow Ledbelly Posts: 3,749
    dcfaithful wrote:
    Yellow Ledbelly wrote:
    The Jeagler wrote:
    whether or not the bathroom is full, it is pefectly acceptable for man to walk outside and piss on his yard anytime he chooses.

    when i let the dog out to pee before i go to bed, you're damn right i'm out there pissing with her.

    god bless the united states of america.
    Ain't it so! I probably piss outside as much as I do inside

    I'm actually allowed to piss absolutely anywhere. It's a benefit of my uromysitisis. :mrgreen:8-)
    seinfeld thought that would work too :D
    All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow

    They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    dcfaithful wrote:
    The Fixer wrote:
    gabers wrote:
    I don't know if this has been said yet, but real men don't wear Crocs!

    actually no one should wear crocs

    ^ This.

    Crocs are just a terrible idea, I don't care how comfortable they are.

    Steppin' out on my front porch in the morning drinking coffee naked would be comfortable...but for everybody else's sake, I just don't do it. It's about courtesy...and not looking like an idiot (more so about the Crocs. 8-) )

    i wear them in the backyard when im doing stuff. theyre like the shoes i wear when i dont want to wear shoes. and yes i use the term shoes very loosely. :mrgreen:
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    dcfaithful wrote:
    Cosmo wrote:

    No Ed Hardy.

    Hell yes. Just to add to it diamond stud earrings make you look like a douchebag, and going to a tanning bed is strictly prohibited.
    ...
    Yes...
    You get a tan from being out in the SUN... not from an over-sized E-Z Bake Oven. And spray on tans are also an offense that results in ejection from the gender.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!

Categories