PJ fans in 12 step Recovery
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Wow, that was a road trip full of potential traps but I got through it. Glad I didn't meet my friends in Berlin the day before, I took the 'safety first' option and went to the concert on the day. Good move, as they had been in Berlin 48 hours and hadn't been back to the hotel yet.
And pearl jam? Well, Berlin was emotional and amazing. Gdynia was a lot of fun with a non-PJ crowd full of youngsters who were having the time of their lives. Glad to be back home for my meeting this morning though, I might need a few this week
we're all going to the same place...0 -
Here in The States it's Independence Day.
I'm fortunate to live in freedom on a daily basis since I entered the program. All these things are when I allow them to be. Freedom from fear, freedom from anger, freedom from jealousy, freedom from selfishness, freedom from selfcenteredness.
Thanks to the program I'm free to love another in spite of or BECAUSE of their faults, free to help someone in need, free to give of myself without tooting my own horn.I'm free to do the right thing. I'm free to share my experience , strength, and hope with another so that they may identify with me and seek a better life for themselves.
I AM FREE._____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '140 -
interesting and sad at the same time. Woman at tonights meeting. Prior experience with the steps, knows the programs works as promised. With that she seems willing to be a martyr "some have to die, so others may live" As if dying of alcoholism is a right purpose for her. Like , then her life would have meaning.
being where I am now , I cannot fathom that kind of mindset.
What say you?_____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '140 -
She sounds lost and without hope in the future. Not worth fighting battle.. just succumb and be done. Of course, what do i know.mickeyrat wrote:interesting and sad at the same time. Woman at tonights meeting. Prior experience with the steps, knows the programs works as promised. With that she seems willing to be a martyr "some have to die, so others may live" As if dying of alcoholism is a right purpose for her. Like , then her life would have meaning.
being where I am now , I cannot fathom that kind of mindset.
What say you?0 -
A very long time ago, before I realized I had a problem with drugs and alcohol, I went to my first Alanon meeting, because my ex had a bad addiction, and only one guy was there. One of the people who usually attended that meeting was giving an open talk somewhere else and all the members, except this one guy, went to hear her talk. This guy purposely stayed back in case anyone showed up, like me.i shit and i stink wrote:Our meeting moved out of one guy's living room and into a regular meeting spot today.
There was a nice, official feel to that change.
Good meeting and a really nice clubhouse.
It might get a bit thin on membership numbers at times with only 4 of us attending right now, especially as a couple of us will have holidays away in the summer. But, you know, as the literature says 'any two people meeting can called themselves a group'.
He and I had a nice talk. I don't think he'll ever know how much that mattered. This happened about 30 years ago. I went to Alanon for a few years, then my own addiction took off worse and worse. I ended up clean and sober for 11 years, then relapsed for 10 years and now have been sober for 2 years.
That one guy was the beginning of hope for me. So, yeah, any two people can call themselves a group!Save room for dessert!0 -
mickeyrat wrote:interesting and sad at the same time. Woman at tonights meeting. Prior experience with the steps, knows the programs works as promised. With that she seems willing to be a martyr "some have to die, so others may live" As if dying of alcoholism is a right purpose for her. Like , then her life would have meaning.
being where I am now , I cannot fathom that kind of mindset.
What say you?
I guess she needs to hear from someone else that her life matters. Sounds like a cry for help or she wouldn't bother coming to the rooms to share it, she would just drink her life away without wasting the hour on a meeting. She must have "a desire to stop drinking" somewhere inside her and that is what carried her through the doors.we're all going to the same place...0 -
maybe. She was brought to the meeting by two other women that were trying to be supportive. They are members as well.i shit and i stink wrote:mickeyrat wrote:interesting and sad at the same time. Woman at tonights meeting. Prior experience with the steps, knows the programs works as promised. With that she seems willing to be a martyr "some have to die, so others may live" As if dying of alcoholism is a right purpose for her. Like , then her life would have meaning.
being where I am now , I cannot fathom that kind of mindset.
What say you?
I guess she needs to hear from someone else that her life matters. Sounds like a cry for help or she wouldn't bother coming to the rooms to share it, she would just drink her life away without wasting the hour on a meeting. She must have "a desire to stop drinking" somewhere inside her and that is what carried her through the doors._____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '140 -
So the father of my daughter's friend apparently asked my daughter to fetch him a beer... then fetch him a bottle opener... then he dared her to lick the beer out of the cap... why do some people think it is funny? I realize it's just a cap, but why bully children to do something they know they shouldn't go near??? Why do it with alcohol? Is he going to offer her money to drink from the bottle next time?
Arggh.. looks like a change in play date arrangements is in order.0 -
i'm restless. so i think i'll rest.0
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not cool at all.DreamOfAngels wrote:So the father of my daughter's friend apparently asked my daughter to fetch him a beer... then fetch him a bottle opener... then he dared her to lick the beer out of the cap... why do some people think it is funny? I realize it's just a cap, but why bully children to do something they know they shouldn't go near??? Why do it with alcohol? Is he going to offer her money to drink from the bottle next time?
Arggh.. looks like a change in play date arrangements is in order.
on a side note. how did your noncommital answer work out?_____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '140 -
I asked the ten club to delete that thread for me. Result - My tongue hurts from having to bite it so hard. I realize I am so angry about it... and bitter...it's not healthy for me or anyone else. I am probably going to need to find a counselor to help sort through it all. The two positives though are that I didn't start drinking or smoking againmickeyrat wrote:not cool at all.
on a side note. how did your noncommital answer work out? because of it. That was incredibly tough. So, we are two weeks removed from the situation and I can say I feel okay that I took the path I did in terms of not risking it all....in the end, dreamofangels...
...the whole world will be different soon, the whole world will be relieved...0 -
this is helping me...I have 12 days today, put myself in treatment....first rehab I was 18 and that was 18 years ago....my family has put me in a few times, and I have left...this time I want it....what sticks with me is it's not for people who want it, need it, but for those who work it...learning alot about myself PAWS....f-ing sucks, ups and downs...I know I have been in a state of denial for a very long time.....the wreckage of my past and what has been done to me---that's about where I am at today, trying to go easy on myself and know I won't be healed overnight...but like my thinking,,,I want it now...doing it for myself this time thanx for this postMusic is the universal language
What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar0 -
I have two quick comments:runaway wrote:this is helping me...I have 12 days today, put myself in treatment....first rehab I was 18 and that was 18 years ago....my family has put me in a few times, and I have left...this time I want it....what sticks with me is it's not for people who want it, need it, but for those who work it...learning alot about myself PAWS....f-ing sucks, ups and downs...I know I have been in a state of denial for a very long time.....the wreckage of my past and what has been done to me---that's about where I am at today, trying to go easy on myself and know I won't be healed overnight...but like my thinking,,,I want it now...doing it for myself this time thanx for this post
1. Someone describing me used to say that I want what I want and I want it now. My response then was "yes, and who doesn't?". Immediate gratification - who wouldn't want it? I just didn't get it. I have learned that patience is an incredible thing. When I feel the hint of "I want what I want...now" I have to talk myself into letting go of that "need" and instead I try to find a date in the future where I am allowed to re-evaluate it.
2. ... I often think about hypnotism. No clue if it would work but if it did then it would be the quick zap to save my soul, Right? Next thought though is the reminder that we are who we are based on the experiences we have had and the things we have learned. As terrible as some things are or were, we have been taught good and bad things from those experiences. The key is to learn from them all. Turn the bad experiences into good lessons learned. If we erased the memories or we received the "Jump to Go and collect $200" we wouldn't learn very much in the process and we wouldn't be as resolved to changing the future.
One of my favorite lessons is to not repeat old behaviors that didn't serve me well in the past. If you want it, get it and don't let go!
Good luck to you.0 -
runaway wrote:this is helping me...I have 12 days today, put myself in treatment....first rehab I was 18 and that was 18 years ago....my family has put me in a few times, and I have left...this time I want it....what sticks with me is it's not for people who want it, need it, but for those who work it...learning alot about myself PAWS....f-ing sucks, ups and downs...I know I have been in a state of denial for a very long time.....the wreckage of my past and what has been done to me---that's about where I am at today, trying to go easy on myself and know I won't be healed overnight...but like my thinking,,,I want it now...doing it for myself this time thanx for this post
Good luck and congratulations. 12 days is a good solid base. That is a lot of sober time.
This song always makes me think of early recovery, the first days and weeks:
I swallowed my words to keep from lying
I swallowed my face just to keep from biting I, I...
I swallowed my breath and went deep, I was diving, I was diving
I surfaced and all around me was enlightened
I always feel like Ed is saying that through rigorous self-examination and pushing oneself against ones own instincts to lie and cover things up, real enlightenment can be achieved but it takes a few hard knocks to get there. I listened to this song a lot when I was just a few days sober. In fact, I'm still only a short time sober, so I think I'm gonna go listen to it again....!we're all going to the same place...0 -
thank you for your posts...it's 4:35 am, I am the only one who is struggling with sleep....it was the best night for sleep though...did this happen to anyone else in early sobriety?Music is the universal language
What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar0 -
Yes, it did. it will get better in time. there's a running joke in th erooms. If you cant sleep , read the Big Book!!!runaway wrote:thank you for your posts...it's 4:35 am, I am the only one who is struggling with sleep....it was the best night for sleep though...did this happen to anyone else in early sobriety?
In all seriousness though, attend a lot of meetings and find a sponser as soon as you can. One that speaks from the book and more importantly , one whos actions are in line with what they say from the book. we are always here , so post away if you need to. and feel free to PM for more private matters.
Remember , we do this ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!_____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '140 -
runaway wrote:thank you for your posts...it's 4:35 am, I am the only one who is struggling with sleep....it was the best night for sleep though...did this happen to anyone else in early sobriety?
There is a really good AA book called "Living sober" which speaks about this and other things, it especially focuses on how to get through the pangs of early sobriety. It is a real help if you are trying to fill 24 without booze. Written by people who have been there. The chapter about sleeping difficulties helped a fellow of ours here a lot recently. It says that you don't need to panic about it, it is a normal reaction from the body and it will pass with time.
If I can't sleep I try to pray, I often fall asleep talking to my HP. He doesn't seem too offended by it...we're all going to the same place...0 -
i shit and i stink wrote:runaway wrote:thank you for your posts...it's 4:35 am, I am the only one who is struggling with sleep....it was the best night for sleep though...did this happen to anyone else in early sobriety?
There is a really good AA book called "Living sober" which speaks about this and other things, it especially focuses on how to get through the pangs of early sobriety. It is a real help if you are trying to fill 24 without booze. Written by people who have been there. The chapter about sleeping difficulties helped a fellow of ours here a lot recently. It says that you don't need to panic about it, it is a normal reaction from the body and it will pass with time.
If I can't sleep I try to pray, I often fall asleep talking to my HP. He doesn't seem too offended by it...
I have to laugh, when I saw HP, I thought "You talk to your computer (hewlettpackard)or however it is spelled...you mean your Higher Power...gotcha hahahaha!! I'm not all here right now....13 daysMusic is the universal language
What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar0 -
sorry... didn't read too much of this thread, but I think that the subject definitely encapsulates where I need to be but can't seem to get. As much as music sometimes inspires me to get myself together, I find that the more depressing side of it (not necissarilly in PJ's case) seems to reinforce the negative aspects that are in all of our lives no matter how pure and clean we may (or try) to be....0
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RD96430 wrote:sorry... didn't read too much of this thread, but I think that the subject definitely encapsulates where I need to be but can't seem to get. As much as music sometimes inspires me to get myself together, I find that the more depressing side of it (not necissarilly in PJ's case) seems to reinforce the negative aspects that are in all of our lives no matter how pure and clean we may (or try) to be....
My life is totally fucked up right now, lost everything....so I put myself in treatment, not everyone has to go to treatment....a 12 step program for what ever it is you are addicted to is a great way to change your life for the better...if you are sick and tired of living the way you are living, find a meeting and just try it out...listen for the similarities....not the differences, guaranteed you will hear something if you want it, ya know?....good luck!! I am very new to this(14 days), but I can finally admit that I am a true alcoholic and all I can say is there is a freedom....it's not easy, but I sure as hell don't want to detox again.....hang toughMusic is the universal language
What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar0
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