Another great blog from my friend Ellie about people who are " one the fence" about whether they have a drinking problem:
Feel free to sign up for her posts or pass this one along to someone who might relate? http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/onecraft ... dium=email
I shared this blog with someone I care about. Thank you, I hope it saves her before it's too late.
We had our first real newcomer come to the group today (and a record attendance of 7 people!) Boy, did it help remind me what it was like for me in September 09. The fear, the uncertainty... 24 hours and eternity being exactly the same thing in my mind. We just tried to tell him that it gets better.
I just uploaded a very poor video of our bands first song on YT. Well, I say band, but this is just me at home.
It's relevant to anyone reading this thread, I'm sure.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
In a 2011 interview[87], Chris Cornell said the major change with the reformed Soundgarden is a lack of alcohol: "The biggest difference I noticed.. and we haven't even really talked about it: There are no bottles of Jack Daniels around or beers. And we never talked about.. it's just not there."
sober is better !
and still rocking our faces off!
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
In a 2011 interview[87], Chris Cornell said the major change with the reformed Soundgarden is a lack of alcohol: "The biggest difference I noticed.. and we haven't even really talked about it: There are no bottles of Jack Daniels around or beers. And we never talked about.. it's just not there."
sober is better !
and still rocking our faces off!
...because you can remember ever beautiful moment that comes your way
how long after you realized you had the problem did you actually take that first step?
For me it took about 12 years, I guess. I knew at 18 that I didn't drink like other people but I thought it would take care of itself over time. It didn't. When I was 30 I finally admitted defeat and acknowledged that I was absolutely powerless over alcohol and other things.
Step one says that we "admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable". I suppose I knew early on that I was an alcholic but didn't realise that I had no power to change that, as I didn't understand the progressive nature of the disease. I also didn't think that my life was truly unmanageable but once I started the program I realised that it was pretty damned close. I'm glad I caught that just in time.
how long after you realized you had the problem did you actually take that first step?
For me it took about 12 years, I guess. I knew at 18 that I didn't drink like other people but I thought it would take care of itself over time. It didn't. When I was 30 I finally admitted defeat and acknowledged that I was absolutely powerless over alcohol and other things.
Step one says that we "admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable". I suppose I knew early on that I was an alcholic but didn't realise that I had no power to change that, as I didn't understand the progressive nature of the disease. I also didn't think that my life was truly unmanageable but once I started the program I realised that it was pretty damned close. I'm glad I caught that just in time.
thanks for the response. I'm pretty certain I am an alcoholic. I don't drink everyday. I'm a binger (last night I went out after finishing 13 oz bottle of Crown Royal-took the bus of course!-then had a few beers). I've tried stopping on my own a couple times. Lasted for a while. The problem is, I don't drink when I'm stressed. I drink because I LIKE TO. How can I quit something I enjoy doing? it doesn't affect my job. my wife thinks I should stop, so I guess it effects my marriage a little, but it's hard to say, because she's very uptight and it's hard to know if she's right or if she's just being a naggy wife. Example: not only does she always ask "do you really NEED another drink?". trade the word "drink" for "bag of chips", "pearl jam cd", "record", even "coffee"-see what I'm getting at?
I feel an extreme amount of guilt, though, when I'm playing with my kids the morning after the night before and I'm sluggish or whatever, but I know I'm also really hard on myself too, so it's really tough for me to know.
is it kind of the rule of thumb that if you think you are an alcoholic that you probably are?
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I feel an extreme amount of guilt, though, when I'm playing with my kids the morning after the night before and I'm sluggish or whatever, but I know I'm also really hard on myself too, so it's really tough for me to know.
is it kind of the rule of thumb that if you think you are an alcoholic that you probably are?
Boy oh boy, that sounds familiar!
The rule of thumb is a good rule, IMO. We shouldn't compare ourselves to others. We'll always find someone worse than we are, who we can use to justify our actions and say "I'm not as bad as that guy". Deep down, I knew that I couldn't control my drinking and I knew it, nobody else could make that decision for me.
how long after you realized you had the problem did you actually take that first step?
I would say I went at least 7 years from the time I knew (and could sometimes admit) that I had a problem, and the time I did something about it.
I drank to get drunk. Not to relax, or unwind, or take the edge off - my sole objective was to reach a level of intoxication that allowed me to forget who I was. I knew this at 16.
My friends could drink to unwind. One of them asked me, "It's cool that you get drunk and all. But, why do you always have to be the drunkest one there?!" Because these saps can't keep up, I told her!
Yeah, 7 years, give or take. I knew I had a problem, but I liked my problem. Drinking brought me great pleasure. Eventually, it was the only thing in my life that did. Everything else was gone.
It was several painful years after that before I was willing to face the scariest prospect I had considered up until that point: If I stopped drinking, what would be left of me? What would be left for me?
"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").
If I stopped drinking, what would be left of me? What would be left for me?
"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").
this is one of my biggest hurdles as well. it's such a big part of my life. I can't imagine NOT:
-having a cold beer on a hot day
-enjoying a Crown on a friday evening after work
-enjoying a glass of wine with a nice steak out with my wife
you get the picture.
I read something that helped me today:
"Development is partly a growth in our ability to learn from experience and choose how and when to satisfy our desires - and which ones are best left unsatisfied. Healthy men can live very well with some desires unfulfilled."
I couldn't do that before. I'm trying now.
As for thinking about all that stuff above, if you try the program, I'd recommend not thinking about it. The moment I starting thinking 'never again will I...', I immediately just wanna drink so bad. It's a 24 hour program. All we do is say, I won't do it today. If you do that every day, it doesn't scare the crap outta ya
here recently i've went to a few meeting with a lifelong friend. we used to tear it up together back in the day. now we are walking the straight and narrow, well, kinda. no booze anyway. and he doesn't even do the weed either.
i go in support of him. im pretty much healed with the alcohol thing. i just don't like being around booze or certain ppl who drink a lot.
now i have addiction to my meds.
i still enjoy grass when it's free or whatever.
as long as i or my buddy are drink-free the world is a wonderful place. i am very proud of my friend and i am proud of myself.
at those meetings their are some folks with serious problems. good luck to all who are trying.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
If I stopped drinking, what would be left of me? What would be left for me?
"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").
this is one of my biggest hurdles as well. it's such a big part of my life. I can't imagine NOT:
-having a cold beer on a hot day
-enjoying a Crown on a friday evening after work
-enjoying a glass of wine with a nice steak out with my wife
you get the picture.
something key about these statements. The letter a. As in a single beer. a single Crown. A single glass of wine.
The question you could ask yourself is, have I really stopped at one of anything?
yes, actually, and quite often. that's what keeps taking me back to the "I don't have a problem, I just have a good time sometimes" line of thinking. Because I don't have a problem ALL THE TIME, which is what people think when they think of alcoholics. They don't think of the sober guy that just always has a drink in his hands. They aren't thinking of the person that depends on that one drink after work once a day, but still, they DEPEND on it, so it's an issue.
I'm fighting constantly telling myself that I'm fine.
Sipping from a Crown and coke as I type this. No joke.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").
this is one of my biggest hurdles as well. it's such a big part of my life. I can't imagine NOT:
-having a cold beer on a hot day
-enjoying a Crown on a friday evening after work
-enjoying a glass of wine with a nice steak out with my wife
you get the picture.
something key about these statements. The letter a. As in a single beer. a single Crown. A single glass of wine.
The question you could ask yourself is, have I really stopped at one of anything?
yes, actually, and quite often. that's what keeps taking me back to the "I don't have a problem, I just have a good time sometimes" line of thinking. Because I don't have a problem ALL THE TIME, which is what people think when they think of alcoholics. They don't think of the sober guy that just always has a drink in his hands. They aren't thinking of the person that depends on that one drink after work once a day, but still, they DEPEND on it, so it's an issue.
I'm fighting constantly telling myself that I'm fine.
Sipping from a Crown and coke as I type this. No joke.[/quote]
As I read the way you describe your drinking, it would seem to me that you would be a "hard drinker" as described in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. But its not for me to say one way or the other. This is about the only "disease" thats self diagnosed , so only you can make that determination.
I would like to make a suggestion. Go to www.aa.org . There you can read our literature. Particularly the Big Book paying close attention to Chapters 2 and 3. It's in those chapters that describe , accurately I might add(at least for me), what it means to be alcoholic.
Whatever you decide for yourself, its a pleasure to have you here. Keep coming back!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Hey All,
Im new to this thread.Just got out of detox from pain pills 2 days ago and I still feels like shit.My body is so weak,every step,every movement is a chore.Today is a tuff one just thinking about take 1 little pill to feel better.I know Im not going to,but its a tuff one today.
If you hate something dont you do it too
world fucking champs!!!
Hey All,
Im new to this thread.Just got out of detox from pain pills 2 days ago and I still feels like shit.My body is so weak,every step,every movement is a chore.Today is a tuff one just thinking about take 1 little pill to feel better.I know Im not going to,but its a tuff one today.
Hey all new to this thread; I just quit drinking two months ago.. It's been really hard but I've been going to a Christian based 12 step program, which is really no different from the regular program other than we all have the same "higher power", which is God. Anyhow I have just been reading this thread off and on all day today, and thought this was soo totally cool, that I thought I'd come say hello. It's really, really, nice knowing that we're not alone in our fight against the addictions that bind us in our lives. I struggle with not drinking everyday, and while I fail some days, I have been doing really well; considering I used to wake up only to drink the beer on my nightstand that was left over from the night before. Anyhow just wanted to say hello and thanks for starting this thread, I can really use the support!
Hey all new to this thread; I just quit drinking two months ago.. It's been really hard but I've been going to a Christian based 12 step program, which is really no different from the regular program other than we all have the same "higher power", which is God. Anyhow I have just been reading this thread off and on all day today, and thought this was soo totally cool, that I thought I'd come say hello. It's really, really, nice knowing that we're not alone in our fight against the addictions that bind us in our lives. I struggle with not drinking everyday, and while I fail some days, I have been doing really well; considering I used to wake up only to drink the beer on my nightstand that was left over from the night before. Anyhow just wanted to say hello and thanks for starting this thread, I can really use the support!
Hang in there, it'll be alright. It's often said that alcoholism is a disease of loneliness and I really felt that - I could feel alone in a crowd like a lot of addicts. This thread is a constant reminder that there are others out there and it does bind us.
I just wanted to say thanks for posting and thanks to everyone else for the recent activity here over the last few weeks. I'm alone across the world with just one meeting a week, so just a few words on this thread from any of you picks me up and pulls me through the day sometimes. I'm sure I don't just speak for myself in saying that. If any of you have the time to just write a few words now and again to keep this ball rolling, it is really appreciated. I know that this thread was the one thing that got me in to AA nearly 2 years ago and it is one of the things that has kept me here.
It's often said that alcoholism is a disease of loneliness and I really felt that - I could feel alone in a crowd like a lot of addicts.
Thank you for posting this specifically. Gave me another perspective about someone I love dearly. One I never considered, because they never said it...probably because they don't even realized it themselves. Thank you.
It's often said that alcoholism is a disease of loneliness and I really felt that - I could feel alone in a crowd like a lot of addicts.
Thank you for posting this specifically. Gave me another perspective about someone I love dearly. One I never considered, because they never said it...probably because they don't even realized it themselves. Thank you.
It truly truly is a disease of loneliness, I know that one for sure. and thank you for your kind words. It really helps to have all the encouragement from others whom are facing the same same thing.And it's really cool that this thread has been going for so long.
in 2015 scientists discover a cure for alcoholism that is contained in a single pill.
when they approach the first alcoholic in the trial run, the explain to him that if he swallows that one pill he will be cured of his alcoholism forever!
so the alcoholic responds," really? what happens if I take two?!"
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
in 2015 scientists discover a cure for alcoholism that is contained in a single pill.
when they approach the first alcoholic in the trial run, the explain to him that if he swallows that one pill he will be cured of his alcoholism forever!
so the alcoholic responds," really? what happens if I take two?!"
I had a conversation yesterday. One of my students told me that he'd heard about a drug that was being released some time which cures addiction.
My first thought was, no kidding, "Great, I could take it, then I could drink every day".
Comments
I shared this blog with someone I care about. Thank you, I hope it saves her before it's too late.
It's relevant to anyone reading this thread, I'm sure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI3llcFqCbE
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
sober is better !
and still rocking our faces off!
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
...because you can remember ever beautiful moment that comes your way
hail hail the lucky ones
I refer to those in AA !
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
For me it took about 12 years, I guess. I knew at 18 that I didn't drink like other people but I thought it would take care of itself over time. It didn't. When I was 30 I finally admitted defeat and acknowledged that I was absolutely powerless over alcohol and other things.
Step one says that we "admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable". I suppose I knew early on that I was an alcholic but didn't realise that I had no power to change that, as I didn't understand the progressive nature of the disease. I also didn't think that my life was truly unmanageable but once I started the program I realised that it was pretty damned close. I'm glad I caught that just in time.
thanks for the response. I'm pretty certain I am an alcoholic. I don't drink everyday. I'm a binger (last night I went out after finishing 13 oz bottle of Crown Royal-took the bus of course!-then had a few beers). I've tried stopping on my own a couple times. Lasted for a while. The problem is, I don't drink when I'm stressed. I drink because I LIKE TO. How can I quit something I enjoy doing? it doesn't affect my job. my wife thinks I should stop, so I guess it effects my marriage a little, but it's hard to say, because she's very uptight and it's hard to know if she's right or if she's just being a naggy wife. Example: not only does she always ask "do you really NEED another drink?". trade the word "drink" for "bag of chips", "pearl jam cd", "record", even "coffee"-see what I'm getting at?
I feel an extreme amount of guilt, though, when I'm playing with my kids the morning after the night before and I'm sluggish or whatever, but I know I'm also really hard on myself too, so it's really tough for me to know.
is it kind of the rule of thumb that if you think you are an alcoholic that you probably are?
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Boy oh boy, that sounds familiar!
The rule of thumb is a good rule, IMO. We shouldn't compare ourselves to others. We'll always find someone worse than we are, who we can use to justify our actions and say "I'm not as bad as that guy". Deep down, I knew that I couldn't control my drinking and I knew it, nobody else could make that decision for me.
I would say I went at least 7 years from the time I knew (and could sometimes admit) that I had a problem, and the time I did something about it.
I drank to get drunk. Not to relax, or unwind, or take the edge off - my sole objective was to reach a level of intoxication that allowed me to forget who I was. I knew this at 16.
My friends could drink to unwind. One of them asked me, "It's cool that you get drunk and all. But, why do you always have to be the drunkest one there?!" Because these saps can't keep up, I told her!
Yeah, 7 years, give or take. I knew I had a problem, but I liked my problem. Drinking brought me great pleasure. Eventually, it was the only thing in my life that did. Everything else was gone.
It was several painful years after that before I was willing to face the scariest prospect I had considered up until that point: If I stopped drinking, what would be left of me? What would be left for me?
"Red Mosquito" always comes to mind ("If I had known then, what I know now....").
this is one of my biggest hurdles as well. it's such a big part of my life. I can't imagine NOT:
-having a cold beer on a hot day
-enjoying a Crown on a friday evening after work
-enjoying a glass of wine with a nice steak out with my wife
you get the picture.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I read something that helped me today:
"Development is partly a growth in our ability to learn from experience and choose how and when to satisfy our desires - and which ones are best left unsatisfied. Healthy men can live very well with some desires unfulfilled."
I couldn't do that before. I'm trying now.
As for thinking about all that stuff above, if you try the program, I'd recommend not thinking about it. The moment I starting thinking 'never again will I...', I immediately just wanna drink so bad. It's a 24 hour program. All we do is say, I won't do it today. If you do that every day, it doesn't scare the crap outta ya
i go in support of him. im pretty much healed with the alcohol thing. i just don't like being around booze or certain ppl who drink a lot.
now i have addiction to my meds.
i still enjoy grass when it's free or whatever.
as long as i or my buddy are drink-free the world is a wonderful place. i am very proud of my friend and i am proud of myself.
at those meetings their are some folks with serious problems. good luck to all who are trying.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
The question you could ask yourself is, have I really stopped at one of anything?
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
I do. I really do.
yes, actually, and quite often. that's what keeps taking me back to the "I don't have a problem, I just have a good time sometimes" line of thinking. Because I don't have a problem ALL THE TIME, which is what people think when they think of alcoholics. They don't think of the sober guy that just always has a drink in his hands. They aren't thinking of the person that depends on that one drink after work once a day, but still, they DEPEND on it, so it's an issue.
I'm fighting constantly telling myself that I'm fine.
Sipping from a Crown and coke as I type this. No joke.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
yes, actually, and quite often. that's what keeps taking me back to the "I don't have a problem, I just have a good time sometimes" line of thinking. Because I don't have a problem ALL THE TIME, which is what people think when they think of alcoholics. They don't think of the sober guy that just always has a drink in his hands. They aren't thinking of the person that depends on that one drink after work once a day, but still, they DEPEND on it, so it's an issue.
I'm fighting constantly telling myself that I'm fine.
Sipping from a Crown and coke as I type this. No joke.[/quote]
As I read the way you describe your drinking, it would seem to me that you would be a "hard drinker" as described in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. But its not for me to say one way or the other. This is about the only "disease" thats self diagnosed , so only you can make that determination.
I would like to make a suggestion. Go to www.aa.org . There you can read our literature. Particularly the Big Book paying close attention to Chapters 2 and 3. It's in those chapters that describe , accurately I might add(at least for me), what it means to be alcoholic.
Whatever you decide for yourself, its a pleasure to have you here. Keep coming back!!!
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Im new to this thread.Just got out of detox from pain pills 2 days ago and I still feels like shit.My body is so weak,every step,every movement is a chore.Today is a tuff one just thinking about take 1 little pill to feel better.I know Im not going to,but its a tuff one today.
world fucking champs!!!
Welcome!
Hang in there. It does get easier
Hang in there, it'll be alright. It's often said that alcoholism is a disease of loneliness and I really felt that - I could feel alone in a crowd like a lot of addicts. This thread is a constant reminder that there are others out there and it does bind us.
I just wanted to say thanks for posting and thanks to everyone else for the recent activity here over the last few weeks. I'm alone across the world with just one meeting a week, so just a few words on this thread from any of you picks me up and pulls me through the day sometimes. I'm sure I don't just speak for myself in saying that. If any of you have the time to just write a few words now and again to keep this ball rolling, it is really appreciated. I know that this thread was the one thing that got me in to AA nearly 2 years ago and it is one of the things that has kept me here.
Thank you for posting this specifically. Gave me another perspective about someone I love dearly. One I never considered, because they never said it...probably because they don't even realized it themselves. Thank you.
in 2015 scientists discover a cure for alcoholism that is contained in a single pill.
when they approach the first alcoholic in the trial run, the explain to him that if he swallows that one pill he will be cured of his alcoholism forever!
so the alcoholic responds," really? what happens if I take two?!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
I had a conversation yesterday. One of my students told me that he'd heard about a drug that was being released some time which cures addiction.
My first thought was, no kidding, "Great, I could take it, then I could drink every day".
It was a good reminder of how my mind works.
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford