Stone Gossard...

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failedpersephone
failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
edited January 2014 in The Porch
okay, so a friend of mine was telling me about the hours of enjoyment he got from reading the Jeff Ament basketball thread and how it started to remind him of the Chuck Norris style claims (with similar levels of incredulity)

so, that made me think of STONE (what doesn't tho???) and a more modest level of accomplishments...(not because he is less capable but because of his very STONE-ishness)

with that intro I humbly submit:

"Stone Gossard... tailored my grandma's pantsuit."

"Stone Gossard... churned an entire Amish community's butter in 2 hours"


anyone??
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Stone's modest accomplishments? ...pshaw.

    He ONLY invented the handpowered portable radio.
    ADD 5,200 to the post count you see, thank you. :)
    *NYC 9/28/96 *NYC 9/29/96 *NJ 9/8/98 (front row "may i play drums with you")
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  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    I thought he invented the internet.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • The Waiting Trophy Man
    The Waiting Trophy Man Niagara region, Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,158
    edited July 2011
    Stone is a tv repairman in his spare time. After fixing your tv he will help fold your laundry.
    Post edited by The Waiting Trophy Man on
    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self
  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    TrixieCat wrote:
    I thought he invented the internet.

    That was Al Gore. That's why its called an algorithm.
    ADD 5,200 to the post count you see, thank you. :)
    *NYC 9/28/96 *NYC 9/29/96 *NJ 9/8/98 (front row "may i play drums with you")
    *MSG 9/10/98 (backstage) *MSG 9/11/98 (backstage)
    *Jones Beach 8/23/00 *Jones Beach 8/24/00 *Jones Beach 8/25/00
    *Mansfield 8/29/00 *Mansfield 8/30/00 *Nassau 4/30/03 *Nissan VA 7/1/03
    *Borgata 10/1/05 *Camden 5/27/06 *Camden 5/28/06 *DC 5/30/06
    *VA Beach 6/17/08 *DC 6/22/08 *MSG 6/24/08 (backstage) *MSG 6/25/08
    *EV DC 8/17/08 *EV Baltimore 6/15/09 *Philly 10/31/09
    *Bristow VA 5/13/10 *MSG 5/20/10 *MSG 5/21/10
  • mookie_in_eugene
    mookie_in_eugene Posts: 1,090
    Stone helped an elderly woman cross the street. He then hugged her and said, "I'm in Pearl Jam, friend".
    "Underneath this smile lies everything - all my hopes, anger, pride and shame."
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard...weaves wigs for orphans from his plucked nosehairs.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    mookie_in_eugene wrote:
    Stone helped an elderly woman cross the street. He then hugged her and said, "I'm in Pearl Jam, friend".
    Very cute.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • randaldoesjersey
    randaldoesjersey Posts: 151
    mookie_in_eugene wrote:
    Stone helped an elderly woman cross the street. He then hugged her and said, "I'm in Pearl Jam, friend".

    Brilliant.
  • Claudia
    Claudia Posts: 398
    CJMST3K wrote:
    That was Al Gore. That's why its called an algorithm.

    :D
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard...bought affordable health insurance for his aunt
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Stone Gossard is both a prostitute and a pimp. Shows what Jack White knows...
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

    Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:

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  • outontheporch
    outontheporch Posts: 172
    Stone Gossard punched a blind man in the face and told him he ran into something.
    "I forgot the F***ing song."
    - Eddie Vedder, San Francisco 7-16-06, after botching Sometimes, the night's opener

    http://people.ucsc.edu/~mquery/pics/pujolsFTW.JPG
  • hiding103006
    hiding103006 Posts: 452
    stone gossard invented the color yellow.
    Camden 7-5-2003, Camden 7-6-2003, Hershey 7-12-2003, Camden 5-27-2006, Camden 5-28-2006, Lollapalooza 8-5-2007, Camden 6-19-2008, Camden 6-20-2008, New York 6-24-2008, New York 6-25-2008, Mansfield 6-28-2008, Mansfield 6-30-2008
  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    stone gossard is not only doing my laundry right now, he's loaning me $65.
    ADD 5,200 to the post count you see, thank you. :)
    *NYC 9/28/96 *NYC 9/29/96 *NJ 9/8/98 (front row "may i play drums with you")
    *MSG 9/10/98 (backstage) *MSG 9/11/98 (backstage)
    *Jones Beach 8/23/00 *Jones Beach 8/24/00 *Jones Beach 8/25/00
    *Mansfield 8/29/00 *Mansfield 8/30/00 *Nassau 4/30/03 *Nissan VA 7/1/03
    *Borgata 10/1/05 *Camden 5/27/06 *Camden 5/28/06 *DC 5/30/06
    *VA Beach 6/17/08 *DC 6/22/08 *MSG 6/24/08 (backstage) *MSG 6/25/08
    *EV DC 8/17/08 *EV Baltimore 6/15/09 *Philly 10/31/09
    *Bristow VA 5/13/10 *MSG 5/20/10 *MSG 5/21/10
  • Rhinocerous Surprise
    Rhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    Stone Gossard once made a meal without using any ingredients.
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • Snake
    Snake Posts: 2,605
    Stone Gossard saved you a bunch of money on your car insurance by switching you to geico.
    Pirates had democracy too.

    "Its a secret to everybody."
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard is an original member of menudo...and new kids on the block
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard sang all the backing vocals on britney spears' "toxic"
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Stone Gossard was able to stick 11 marshmallows in his mouth and still clearly say chubby bunny...only to have Jeff Ament beat him by sticking 666 marshmallows into HIS mouth and say, "I'm in Pearl Jam, bitch!"
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • The Waiting Trophy Man
    The Waiting Trophy Man Niagara region, Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,158
    Stone Gossard can pick a stick up off the ground using his butt cheeks....
    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self

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