On-line dating? I give up!

soulsinging wrote:

locked wrote:

i'm on okcupid now..

and I am already irritated by the format...

how can you see who has viewed you?

and that rating system is like a roultte wheel..

yes?

Feedback ladies.. I need feedback!

there should be a bar in the bottom right of your home page that tells you everyone that's looked at your profile. the rating system is kinda strange. so is the similar users thing on every profile you look at... it's like amazon recommendations only for girls, hehe.

that said, aside from the godawful name and juvenile format, it's been ok to me. i've met with 3 people since joining no more than a month ago, and there are several others i plan to in the weeks ahead. 2 of them were nice enough but not for me, but the one chick is pretty promising. we went on a second date last night and are hitting a bar/show on weds right before the holiday.

but you can't really hesitate. i probably get one response for every 3 messages i send and usually it sorta fizzles out unless you make a real push to actually meet each other in person. so, as in real life, it seems you still have to put yourself out there and most of the time you're going to strike out.

no fair, I've been on there like a year, have been on like 4 or 5 dates, and none of them were anyone I'd consider going out with again!

You can see who has viewed you on the left, under "My Profile" and then "Visitors" (it used to be called "stalkers" which was hilarious but they changed it!)

soulsinging wrote:

Lauri wrote:

no fair, I've been on there like a year, have been on like 4 or 5 dates, and none of them were anyone I'd consider going out with again!

well given that you're too cool for me to even see your profile, i'm not surprised you would decline to meet most people and then find the few you do to be below your standards

in all seriousness though, you said earlier you were super picky and even typed up a list of 'wants' that blew my mind. even if it was half joking and you don't demand them all, the fact that you can easily call to mind that many things you'd like in a mate says a lot i think. it's like seinfeld... if you're looking for things to turn you off, you're going to find them pretty easily. there's a world of difference between "settling" and giving people a chance. if you want more dates and better odds of going on one with someone that might stick, don't be one of the 'replies very selectively' people one of the dates i went on knowing the girl was not at all my type, but it was something to do of an evening and you never know when you might have somebody pegged wrong. it's not very easy to sum yourself up in a profile like that, so i try not to use it as a means to disqualify people unless they are hideous or have kids or are saving themselves for marriage or something

I have kids..........Boooooooooooooooooo soulsinging :(

soulsinging wrote:

Lauri wrote:

no fair, I've been on there like a year, have been on like 4 or 5 dates, and none of them were anyone I'd consider going out with again!

well given that you're too cool for me to even see your profile, i'm not surprised you would decline to meet most people and then find the few you do to be below your standards

in all seriousness though, you said earlier you were super picky and even typed up a list of 'wants' that blew my mind. even if it was half joking and you don't demand them all, the fact that you can easily call to mind that many things you'd like in a mate says a lot i think. it's like seinfeld... if you're looking for things to turn you off, you're going to find them pretty easily. there's a world of difference between "settling" and giving people a chance. if you want more dates and better odds of going on one with someone that might stick, don't be one of the 'replies very selectively' people one of the dates i went on knowing the girl was not at all my type, but it was something to do of an evening and you never know when you might have somebody pegged wrong. it's not very easy to sum yourself up in a profile like that, so i try not to use it as a means to disqualify people unless they are hideous or have kids or are saving themselves for marriage or something

Well, it really wasn't that easy to call to mind. I basically challenged myself to do so because I've been drifting along not knowing what I "want" and still trying to meet people online, which doesn't work very well. I've definitely gone out with some guys from okc that I haven't been excited about, but thought, "you never know." Unfortunately, they all turned out worse than expected! I honestly get a lot of views, but not a lot of emails. I think a lot of the guys are just lazy. And, there's the whole thing about not being in the right age ranges. The younger guys seem to think I'm too old, and I'm just not into 50 year-olds. And there's what I mentioned before- a lot of guys write me and ask for immediate sex. I am no prude, whatsoever. BUT that does not appeal to me. If a guy can't invest in making plans ahead of time and just hoping for the best, well I'm sorry, I don't have means to invest either. Some of the dates I've been on I've been really excited about and then met the guys and immediate knew there was nothing there.

The good news is I just signed a lease with a roommate who meets guys left and right and never seems to date any of them. Maybe I'll meet some offline through osmosis! I've basically been single for 2 years, which is FINE, trust me. But meeting people is exciting, so whether online or off, it would be nice to do so!

PJPixie wrote:

I was just asked out by a 21 year old. I'm 40. And it wasn't an online thing. I met him standing in line at THEM CROOKED VULTURES show in LA last week. The last 10 or so dates I've had have all been people i met ONLINE.

well, he's old enough to get into a bar with his own ID, right? that is my minimum age requirement....though the fact I'd be old enough to be his mom is a bit weird.

PJPixie wrote:

Whizbang wrote:

PJPixie wrote:

I was just asked out by a 21 year old. I'm 40. And it wasn't an online thing. I met him standing in line at THEM CROOKED VULTURES show in LA last week. The last 10 or so dates I've had have all been people i met ONLINE.

well, he's old enough to get into a bar with his own ID, right? that is my minimum age requirement....though the fact I'd be old enough to be his mom is a bit weird.

exactly. I've discussed this with a couple of my friends and they've said the exact same thing. He says he's discussed it with a couple of his friends and they came up with that it's socially acceptable.....THE GRADUATE and COUGARTOWN..........lol. He is quite intelligent, which holds a lot of points. I dunno tho........21 is 21...........oh, he just informed me that he'll be 22 in 2 weeks.

I'm going on 32 and I'll date guys who are 26, maybe even 25. But I think younger than that is a little much for me. It's all up to the individual, I wouldn't deem it "unacceptable," but I just think a 21 or 22 year old is just going to be a LOT different than me in a LOT of ways. On the flip side, I don't want to go much older either. I'm too young to date a guy who could theoretically be a grandpa.

decides2dream wrote:

damn girl.
you are 40. he is 21.
he wants to go out with you.
don't think about the math too much.
just go and have fun!
will you end up marrying the guy?
probably not.
but hell... a whole LOTTA FUN stuff can go down.
enjoy.

i think that's what i want for my next birthday.

Go for it! I highly recommend it

decides2dream wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

damn girl.
you are 40. he is 21.
he wants to go out with you.
don't think about the math too much.
just go and have fun!
will you end up marrying the guy?
probably not.
but hell... a whole LOTTA FUN stuff can go down.
enjoy.

i think that's what i want for my next birthday.

Go for it! I highly recommend it

hubby won't mind...;)

I DO NOT EVER want to date a women who is 19 years older than me.....

Because as of now.....I am not into 63 year olds......hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

cougars!!! :thumbup: :thumbup: