abortion

WaveCameCrashin · January 2009

I was just curious are there any women you know or yourself was pro-choice had an abortion or has a child and now pro life. I my self was in a relationship with a woman and we decided to have an abortion and I have to be honest,There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. Like if it would have been a boy or a girl or what path in life would they have chosen. :(

Heineken Helen · January 2009

I know plenty of women who have had abortions :( only two that I helped through it and possibly another one coming up :(

I can assure you that NONE of them took the decision lightly and I'm sure they do think of it most days if not all. But not one of them has become pro life. They appreciate that the option was there for them and they want to keep it there for others. It's NEVER an easy thing to go through, contrary to what many people think. And I hope I'm never in that position myself... I've god to thank for being so lucky.

catefrances · January 2009

no

_ · January 2009

I've never known a women to go from be "pro-choice" to being "pro-life". I have, however, known women for which the opposite happened... especially when they became pregnant.

I could see how it could be different for men, though, considering that they have less say in the decision and perhaps less chance to process their emotions about it before it happens. I mean, when an important decision about your child's life is taken out of your hands, as ultimately this decision is, it might leave you feeling powerless - even if you would have made the same decision.

I think this is similar to what some young girls feel when their parents coerce them into having an abortion (or a child) and they feel like the decision wasn't theirs. (And the same goes for women whose governments make the decision for them by outlawing abortion.) Seems like it would be somewhat harder to come to terms with, regardless of whether you would have made the same decision, ya know?

Regardless, I hope hope you are able to find peace with what happened.

WaveCameCrashin · January 2009

scb wrote:

I've never known a women to go from be "pro-choice" to being "pro-life". I have, however, known women for which the opposite happened... especially when they became pregnant.

I could see how it could be different for men, though, considering that they have less say in the decision and perhaps less chance to process their emotions about it before it happens. I mean, when an important decision about your child's life is taken out of your hands, as ultimately this decision is, it might leave you feeling powerless - even if you would have made the same decision.

I think this is similar to what some young girls feel when their parents coerce them into having an abortion (or a child) and they feel like the decision wasn't theirs. (And the same goes for women whose governments make the decision for them by outlawing abortion.) Seems like it would be somewhat harder to comes to terms with, regardless of whether you would have made the same decision, ya know?

Regardless, I hope hope you are able to find peace with what happened.

I'm at peace with it its just some thing I think about a lot. thanks for caring

wolfbear · January 2009

gvn2fly74 wrote:

I was just curious are there any women you know or yourself was pro-choice had an abortion or has a child and now pro life. I my self was in a relationship with a woman and we decided to have an abortion and I have to be honest,There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. Like if it would have been a boy or a girl or what path in life would they have chosen. :(

No, I haven't. In fact, just the opposite, it reaffirmed that the option is good. While it is a hard choice, so are many in life. Since you can't change the past, it's best to put it behind and focus on the good things now and in the future.

_ · January 2009

gvn2fly74 wrote:

I'm at peace with it its just some thing I think about a lot. thanks for caring

I can tell you from experience that eventually you'll probably think about it less and less.

melodious · January 2009

i think you may have met one now.

17 yrs old: too young too live; to young to die...

at time of conception, God has placed a miracle in your life.

decides2dream · January 2009

i know a few women who have had abortions, and almost all of them have continued on to have families later on. all as far as i know, are still pro-choice. i've never had an abortion nor have i ever had a child, but i believe that, even if one or the other occurred, it would not necessarily alter my views on being pro choice. it might alter my views on what choices i would make for myself - don't really know - but i don't see how or why it would make me change my mind that a woman should be able to make this choice, for herself.

scb wrote:

I've never known a women to go from be "pro-choice" to being "pro-life". I have, however, known women for which the opposite happened... especially when they became pregnant.

I could see how it could be different for men, though, considering that they have less say in the decision and perhaps less chance to process their emotions about it before it happens. I mean, when an important decision about your child's life is taken out of your hands, as ultimately this decision is, it might leave you feeling powerless - even if you would have made the same decision.

I think this is similar to what some young girls feel when their parents coerce them into having an abortion (or a child) and they feel like the decision wasn't theirs. (And the same goes for women whose governments make the decision for them by outlawing abortion.) Seems like it would be somewhat harder to come to terms with, regardless of whether you would have made the same decision, ya know?

Regardless, I hope hope you are able to find peace with what happened.

excellent post.

Abuskedti · January 2009

scb wrote:

I've never known a women to go from be "pro-choice" to being "pro-life". I have, however, known women for which the opposite happened... especially when they became pregnant.

I could see how it could be different for men, though, considering that they have less say in the decision and perhaps less chance to process their emotions about it before it happens. I mean, when an important decision about your child's life is taken out of your hands, as ultimately this decision is, it might leave you feeling powerless - even if you would have made the same decision.

I think this is similar to what some young girls feel when their parents coerce them into having an abortion (or a child) and they feel like the decision wasn't theirs. (And the same goes for women whose governments make the decision for them by outlawing abortion.) Seems like it would be somewhat harder to come to terms with, regardless of whether you would have made the same decision, ya know?

Regardless, I hope hope you are able to find peace with what happened.

I am a man, and yes it makes me feel powerless. it makes me angry. It seems that history supports the view that this is a womans decision, as so many men have had no interest in raising children. I wish these decision could be made on case by case basis, but that is too expensive - in time and money. But in many cases, the man is better prepared and more involved. Wish it could always be mutual, but often it is not.

I have never been on the wrong end of a abortion decision... but I have had a scare. I raised two boys as a single parent ... but because I am a man am on the wrong end of a custody decision for my daughter turning 13 this month. too risky for the judge to rule against a mother I suppose and my baby suffers until she is old enough to know and has the courage to make such a decision for herself. No teenager should have to do that. Stand up judges!!! don't be such whimps and only concerned for how you will be judged by fools.

VINNY GOOMBA · January 2009

scb wrote:

I've never known a women to go from be "pro-choice" to being "pro-life". I have, however, known women for which the opposite happened... especially when they became pregnant.

Except for Jane Roe of Roe v. Wade?

VINNY GOOMBA · January 2009

VINNY GOOMBA wrote:

scb wrote:

I've never known a women to go from be "pro-choice" to being "pro-life". I have, however, known women for which the opposite happened... especially when they became pregnant.

Except for Jane Roe of Roe v. Wade?

Edit: Not saying that you know her, or anything, but she is one example.

_ · January 2009

Abuskedti wrote:

I am a man, and yes it makes me feel powerless. it makes me angry. It seems that history supports the view that this is a womans decision, as so many men have had no interest in raising children. I wish these decision could be made on case by case basis, but that is too expensive - in time and money. But in many cases, the man is better prepared and more involved. Wish it could always be mutual, but often it is not.

I certainly see your point. My comment wasn't necessarily about situations where the decision is not mutual, however. Even when two people agree, only one of them really has the power to make the decision. I think anyone who knows that ultimately they are not the ones with this power can feel powerless. If the man had the power to make the decision, then the woman would necessarily be the powerless one. It's a catch-22.

_ · January 2009

VINNY GOOMBA wrote:

VINNY GOOMBA wrote:

scb wrote:

I've never known a women to go from be "pro-choice" to being "pro-life". I have, however, known women for which the opposite happened... especially when they became pregnant.

Except for Jane Roe of Roe v. Wade?

Edit: Not saying that you know her, or anything, but she is one example.

Haha - you beat me to it! I was just going to say that I don't know her.

Yeah, anything's possible of course.

Abuskedti · January 2009

scb wrote:

Abuskedti wrote:

I am a man, and yes it makes me feel powerless. it makes me angry. It seems that history supports the view that this is a womans decision, as so many men have had no interest in raising children. I wish these decision could be made on case by case basis, but that is too expensive - in time and money. But in many cases, the man is better prepared and more involved. Wish it could always be mutual, but often it is not.

I certainly see your point. My comment wasn't necessarily about situations where the decision is not mutual, however. Even when two people agree, only one of them really has the power to make the decision. I think anyone who knows that ultimately they are not the ones with this power can feel powerless. If the man had the power to make the decision, then the woman would necessarily be the powerless one. It's a catch-22.

I feel that if one parent wants the child that parents wishes trump. There should not be an abortion when a parent wants to raise a child. only when neither parent wants a child should the possibility of abortion be considered.

mickeyrat · January 2009

Abuskedti wrote:

scb wrote:

Abuskedti wrote:

I am a man, and yes it makes me feel powerless. it makes me angry. It seems that history supports the view that this is a womans decision, as so many men have had no interest in raising children. I wish these decision could be made on case by case basis, but that is too expensive - in time and money. But in many cases, the man is better prepared and more involved. Wish it could always be mutual, but often it is not.

I certainly see your point. My comment wasn't necessarily about situations where the decision is not mutual, however. Even when two people agree, only one of them really has the power to make the decision. I think anyone who knows that ultimately they are not the ones with this power can feel powerless. If the man had the power to make the decision, then the woman would necessarily be the powerless one. It's a catch-22.

I feel that if one parent wants the child that parents wishes trump. There should not be an abortion when a parent wants to raise a child. only when neither parent wants a child should the possibility of abortion be considered.

Then that makes the mother nothing more than an incubator. And that ain't cool.

decides2dream · January 2009

Abuskedti wrote:

scb wrote:

Abuskedti wrote:

I am a man, and yes it makes me feel powerless. it makes me angry. It seems that history supports the view that this is a womans decision, as so many men have had no interest in raising children. I wish these decision could be made on case by case basis, but that is too expensive - in time and money. But in many cases, the man is better prepared and more involved. Wish it could always be mutual, but often it is not.

I certainly see your point. My comment wasn't necessarily about situations where the decision is not mutual, however. Even when two people agree, only one of them really has the power to make the decision. I think anyone who knows that ultimately they are not the ones with this power can feel powerless. If the man had the power to make the decision, then the woman would necessarily be the powerless one. It's a catch-22.

I feel that if one parent wants the child that parents wishes trump. There should not be an abortion when a parent wants to raise a child. only when neither parent wants a child should the possibility of abortion be considered.

hmmmmm...i don't think so. firstly, that is forcing a woman to continue on with a pregancy, in her body - so her inherent risks - when she clearly does not want to. secondly, how would that work exactly? what if this did exist, and then 14 weeks into the pregnancy, conveniently, the father decides he doesn't want the child? or right before the birth, he meets some new woman who doesn't want him to have a child and he reneges his responsibility? there are WAY too many variables in there. so until they figure out a way to transfer the embryo from mother to father, our imperfect system of choice is the best we got. men go into sexual relations knowing full well the legal rights/responsibilities...so he is making his choice from the get-go.

Abuskedti · January 2009

I am on the "pro-choce" side, but with the understanding that it is a last resort and the best option in a bad situation. If a man is about to become a father, and is happy about the responsibility and his new family memebr, I don't see how it is a best option.

Is about just about birth control to you?

VINNY GOOMBA · January 2009

decides2dream wrote:

men go into sexual relations knowing full well the legal rights/responsibilities...so he is making his choice from the get-go.

Couldn't agree more with that line. When are the men of the world going to stop lying to themselves about the consequences of having sex?

FUCKIN' PULL OUT ALREADY! WEAR A CONDOM AND PULL OUT!
STOP BUSTING A FULL LOAD IN THE VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_ · January 2009

Abuskedti wrote:

scb wrote:

Abuskedti wrote:

I am a man, and yes it makes me feel powerless. it makes me angry. It seems that history supports the view that this is a womans decision, as so many men have had no interest in raising children. I wish these decision could be made on case by case basis, but that is too expensive - in time and money. But in many cases, the man is better prepared and more involved. Wish it could always be mutual, but often it is not.

I certainly see your point. My comment wasn't necessarily about situations where the decision is not mutual, however. Even when two people agree, only one of them really has the power to make the decision. I think anyone who knows that ultimately they are not the ones with this power can feel powerless. If the man had the power to make the decision, then the woman would necessarily be the powerless one. It's a catch-22.

I feel that if one parent wants the child that parents wishes trump. There should not be an abortion when a parent wants to raise a child. only when neither parent wants a child should the possibility of abortion be considered.

I see your line of reasoning here, and I admit I hadn't thought of it that way with my response above. The problem I see with that philosophy, however, is that the decision is not just about whether or not the parents WANT the child, but also about what's BEST for the child. If your child had some abnormality, for instance, that would cause it to suffer, you might feel just as strongly about preventing his/her suffering as your partner might feel about preserving his/her life. As with euthenasia, I don't believe that preserving life at ALL costs is NECESSARILY always the right choice. (But you probably know that about me already.

)

Then, of course, there are also all the valid arguments concerning the fact that the woman is the only one who carries the pregnancy.

decides2dream · January 2009

Abuskedti wrote:

I am on the "pro-choce" side, but with the understanding that it is a last resort and the best option in a bad situation. If a man is about to become a father, and is happy about the responsibility and his new family memebr, I don't see how it is a best option.

Is about just about birth control to you?

of course not!
i agree, abortion is a last choice, but it IS a choice...hopefully both involved/responsible will be on the same page, but bottomline, the law agrees, as do i, that the final decision rests with the mother.

it's all well and good to imagine a father who WANTS the child, and is offering to take 100% responsibility, but there still lie some inherent problems in that scenario as outlined above. you are forcing a woman to continue a pregnancy, and al the risks involved, when she doesn't want to....and how does one make CERTAIN said father won't change his mind, renege his responsibility, half-way through the pregnancy? for these reasons, just for starters, i cannot see your idea being right, nor implemented. in an ideal world, perhaps...but then again, if it were ideal...unwanted pregnancies would cease to exist.

abortion

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