Open relationships

genie
genie Posts: 2,222
edited November 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
My head cannot get around open relationships. Anyone in here been involved in such? and how did it go?

it's just how do you open up to someone and have sex and then go to another person and do the same thing with them, especially opening up to someone. so suppose you have to describe your day to one of the people you're dating and your whole week consisted of seeing & fucking someone else who you're also dating, shouldn't it be natural for person listening to get jealous?
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Comments

  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    i was once in an open relationship and worked well. i personally believe that open relationship can work as long as they truely are open. most people don't think abotu the negatives when they get involved.

    its very much like friends, i have different friends that i do things with. i hav efriends that when i feel liek going to a club i call them. when i want a discussion abotu issues that i care abotu i have friends for that.
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • South of Seattle
    South of Seattle West Seattle Posts: 10,724
    I've had friends to this, but not in the form of an actual relationship.

    I myself couldn't do it. I prefer the be with one at a time, that's difficult enough already.

    I did work for a guy with an open relationship. All of us at the time were trying to hook up with his wife :p
    NERDS!
  • bee_boy
    bee_boy Posts: 384
    Nope, can't get them either.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    my wife and i have an open relationship... my wallet and her legs.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • bee_boy
    bee_boy Posts: 384
    dunkman wrote:
    my wife and i have an open relationship... my wallet and her legs.

    Classy.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    Thecure wrote:
    i was once in an open relationship and worked well. i personally believe that open relationship can work as long as they truely are open. most people don't think abotu the negatives when they get involved.

    its very much like friends, i have different friends that i do things with. i hav efriends that when i feel liek going to a club i call them. when i want a discussion abotu issues that i care abotu i have friends for that.

    yeah i also have some certain people that i can go to club with, but i wouldn't particularly call them friends, i just have those people to meet other more valuable people through them.

    let me ask you this, when you were in open relationship, would you have took it any further with any of them? i mean have kids...get a house together or something... it just feels to me that open relationships have no future.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    having casual sex with few constant people i am more able to understand. in fact i've tried to do that couple of times, i'm just confused whether casual is what i want or not.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    South of Seattle wrote:
    I've had friends to this, but not in the form of an actual relationship.

    I myself couldn't do it. I prefer the be with one at a time, that's difficult enough already.

    I did work for a guy with an open relationship. All of us at the time were trying to hook up with his wife :p

    you probably should've got involved with his wife and then told him that you and his wife are going for a romantic week, i would've liked to have seen his face at that moment, knowing that his employee is taking a week of to shag his wife :D hehe
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    bee_boy wrote:
    Classy.

    nahhh... its only a fake leather wallet.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    dunkman wrote:
    nahhh... its only a fake leather wallet.

    it doesn't matter how it looks on the outside, its whats on the inside that counts ;)
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Although I would never damn anyone for having an open relationship, I couldn't do it in a month of Sunday's... i'm the very jealous type :o
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • bee_boy
    bee_boy Posts: 384
    genie wrote:
    it doesn't matter how it looks on the outside, its whats on the inside that counts ;)
    Amen.
  • polaris
    polaris Posts: 3,527
    i've been in a few ... it works as long as everyone is honest ... the thing is that one can't control how people feel about the relationship from one day to the next ... denying feelings changed to yourself or to other person is what gets people in trouble ...
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    polaris wrote:
    i've been in a few ... it works as long as everyone is honest ... the thing is that one can't control how people feel about the relationship from one day to the next ... denying feelings changed to yourself or to other person is what gets people in trouble ...

    your nickname reminds me of a cool megadeth song
  • Derrick
    Derrick Posts: 475
    What's interesting is that, for some people, monogamy is as infuriating as jealousy is for others. Today's society sides with the the jealous, but monogamy is a relatively new concept given the history of humans. It's also an odd concept given most mammals are not monogamous.

    The other issue with monogamy is that many in our society link the act of sex to the feelings of love. It's really a shame because both the emotion of love and the act of sex are quite powerful, and to only share either of them with one person (at a time) for a lifetime seems rather restricting.

    May as well get as much out of life as you can before you're gone imo.
  • bee_boy
    bee_boy Posts: 384
    Derrick wrote:
    Today's society sides with the the jealous, but monogamy is a relatively new concept given the history of humans. It's also an odd concept given most mammals are not monogamous.

    Penguins are monogamous. That's enough for me :p
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    Derrick wrote:
    What's interesting is that, for some people, monogamy is as infuriating as jealousy is for others. Today's society sides with the the jealous, but monogamy is a relatively new concept given the history of humans. It's also an odd concept given most mammals are not monogamous.

    The other issue with monogamy is that many in our society link the act of sex to the feelings of love. It's really a shame because both the emotion of love and the act of sex are quite powerful, and to only share either of them with one person (at a time) for a lifetime seems rather restricting.

    May as well get as much out of life as you can before you're gone imo.

    well now that you put it this way haha....

    i really wish i haven't been put in this situation because now it makes me think of what it is actually want, and i'm confused very confused.so much so that i don't want to think. there is part of me that wants traditional relationship, and there is another fucked up part of me that wants to completely separate love from sex i want to have two people in my life one that i can love but without being too affectionate, but love in a sense that if that person is in trouble i will always be there no matter what and wise versa till the death do us part( but to have nothing sexual) and i want to have another person or few with whom i just have sex and barely talk to them at all. but then that's where the problem lies, i think part of me only wants to have sex when there are feelings involved......if i can kill that and overcome that then that would be awesome.
    and i'm just wondering should i work on that? and become that person? or dump the guy i'm with and once again search for traditional relationship?
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    hartamh wrote:
    :eek: :eek:

    wanna join in the conversation? advise me on what i need to do...
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    i think i've just killed my own thread........

    eh, anyways i'm going to dump this guy next time i see him.and i swear by this forum :D i don't need complications in my life, life is difficult as it is.
  • xscorcho
    xscorcho Posts: 409
    try it and if it works, it works.... if you don't like it.. end it.

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