so what you do in this situation

GreenTeaDisease · February 2008

zenith wrote:

deep & meaningful

and no - go out this sat & put all this advice into practice

eh I can't, I won't have anyone to go with for a while I'm sure.

Jeanie · February 2008

zenith wrote:

*sigh* afraid not

ive decided i must have been a completely shallow bitch in my last life, and now im being punished - either that or i was an extremely popular psychologist and all my old clients keep finding me

Funny! I've been thinking the same thing! That what ever I did in my past life I must be being punished for now. :(

Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.

I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?

Either that or I gotta find a doctor to surgically remove this magnet!

GreenTeaDisease · February 2008

Jeanie wrote:

Funny! I've been thinking the same thing! That what ever I did in my past life I must be being punished for now. :(

Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?

Either that or I gotta find a doctor to surgically remove this magnet!

haha I dunno, I'm a pretty hard nosed bitch...

zenith · February 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

eh I can't, I won't have anyone to go with for a while I'm sure.

ok - repeat after me:

you ... dont ... need .... anyone ...

remember ...

Jeanie · February 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

ok yeah I have heard of this before.

what is D&M???

oh well it'll probably be months until I go out on a saturday night again anyway!

So if you got months before you go out on a Saturday night again, start practicing now!

So you're prepared. Make that your challenge. Between then and now just start talking to people that you wouldn't normally in the course of your day.

Try not to get too down on yourself though. You're just as good as anyone else in this world, people should be glad to talk to you. And if they're not that's their issue and nothing to do with you.

zenith · February 2008

Jeanie wrote:

Funny! I've been thinking the same thing! That what ever I did in my past life I must be being punished for now. :(

Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?

Either that or I gotta find a doctor to surgically remove this magnet!

maybe all the australian boys are drug fuelled, alcoholic, commitment shy, psychotic weirdos???

Jeanie · February 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

haha I dunno, I'm a pretty hard nosed bitch...

Yeah, sure!

A hard nosed bitch wouldn't care.

Jeanie · February 2008

zenith wrote:

maybe all the australian boys are drug fuelled, alcoholic, commitment shy, psychotic weirdos???

Didn't you know??????

lalalalaaaaaaaa · February 2008

Jeanie wrote:

Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?

No. This type of girl ALWAYS ends up with some dude who cannot make a decision for himself to save his life. I imagine that'd be really annoying.

Jeanie · February 2008

Saturnal wrote:

No. This type of girl ALWAYS ends up with some dude who cannot make a decision for himself to save his life. I imagine that'd be really annoying.

Yeah, thanks for confirming that. :(

It's what I suspected.

**sigh** I dunno, I'm starting to think that the equal partnership idea is a myth.

GreenTeaDisease · February 2008

zenith wrote:

ok - repeat after me:

you ... dont ... need .... anyone ...

remember ...

I find going out drinking by one's self awkward and kinda boring...

zenith · February 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I find going out drinking by one's self awkward and kinda boring...

and thats because you dont talk to anyone

seeing a pattern here???

zenith · February 2008

Jeanie wrote:

Didn't you know??????

hhhmmmm, apparently not

whats my alternative?? american boys

*ducks*

yknow - i think id like to find myself a nice spanish boy - nice hair,nice eyes, very very nice accent, and his mum could probably cook

all sounds good

Jeanie · February 2008

zenith wrote:

hhhmmmm, apparently not

whats my alternative?? american boys

*ducks*

yknow - i think id like to find myself a nice spanish boy - nice hair,nice eyes, very very nice accent, and his mum could probably cook

all sounds good

there's a whole world out there so they tell me.

Who knows? I'm done. I just accept that if it's sniffing around me sooner or later the depths of the deceit and bullshit will be revealed. So when the sniffing starts I tend to bugger off real quick. Time to live up to my brother's expectations and die a spinster and be eaten by the dog.

Whizbang · February 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

it just seems very contrived and unnatural.

but so does sitting there waiting for someone to say hi to you. Not that you were waiting for the guy to come to you that night but if you were interested in striking up a conversation, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and go say "hey, what's up?".

I go to bars with friends and alone. When I go alone, sometimes that's what I want....to chill for a drink or dinner by myself. Sometimes I want to chat with new people...no, not pick up or get picked up...just meet some new people and interact with the world a little.

Lesbelges · February 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

so as I posted before my friends are trying to get me to meet guys and date even though I don't want to (well I mean I do want to some day, but there's no way I could handle the stress of dating right now when I'm literally the fattest I've ever been in my life). So anyway, I was at my favorite bar saturday night with my 2 friends. we were sitting in the corner and I had my back to the bar. all of a sudden, they both look at each other and start cracking up and they're like "GTD, I think both just saw your perfect man." So I turn around and there's a guy there and I'm like "yeah he's cute" he looked like my type or whatever. So then they both start getting on me like "you have to go talk to him!" and I'm like "no way, I've never talked to guys in bars before and I'm not going to start now, and besides neither of you have ever done it either." But they still keep pushing it and I'm like "there is nothing to say to this random person, I'm not going to just walk all the way over there and say 'hi.'"

anyway, eventually the guy left, but the point of all of this is that none of us knew how you talk to a random guy in bar, so the question is 1) would you have done it and 2) what would you have said?

and 3) my one friend said that her boyfriend says that anytime a girl initiates a conversation she will get at least get respect and stuff from the guy. but I argue that that doesn't apply to certain girls. discuss.

Being a guy, I won't answer 1 and 2. However, I can tell you that I would be flattered if a girl approached me and even if I had no interest I would have conversation. I think this is true for all normal guys. I would avoid the guys who clearly think they are hot shit. They would probably scoff at you, just like a super hot girl would at me. For examples of those guys please refer to hotchickswithdouchebags.com

Hope this helps!

GreenTeaDisease · February 2008

Whizbang wrote:

but so does sitting there waiting for someone to say hi to you. Not that you were waiting for the guy to come to you that night but if you were interested in striking up a conversation, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and go say "hey, what's up?".

oh no, I never wait for people to say hi to me...I wasn't really interested in having a conversation with this person, how could I be? I just thought he was somewhat cute. my friends were the ones who wanted me to talk to him. I am not interested in talking to guys right now (I can't even fathom how I could even like go there...at all...). My only concern in writing this thread is that some day maybe I will be interested in talking to guys again? Lately I have been wanting that day to come sooner than later (but I just have to wait...indefinitely...).

pjl44 · February 2008

If someone's at a bar on a Saturday night, they're probably more up for being approached by a stranger than in just about any other social situation. (Unless they're a total asshole. I realize we're talking about Boston, so...) If you're not afraid of rejection, you really don't have to worry about getting past the initial introduction...if the guy's interested, he'll usually do the heavy lifting from there (especially if you were confident enough to make the approach).

GreenTeaDisease · February 2008

pjl44 wrote:

If someone's at a bar on a Saturday night, they're probably more up for being approached by a stranger than in just about any other social situation.

I guess that could be true...not sure...I think about the people I go out with, and they're all in relationships and don't really want to talk to anyone new, they are just there to be with the people they already know. it *should* be the way you describe it, I hope it is.

Whizbang · February 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

oh no, I never wait for people to say hi to me...I wasn't really interested in having a conversation with this person, I just thought he was somewhat cute.

that is what I wrote - your original post noted you weren't interested but if you were, what would others here do in that situation. Subsequently, you noted that you thought it contrived and unnatural to walk up to a guy to strike up the conversation. So you answered your own question - you don't wait for people to come to you, you'd go to them....if you were interested in doing so.

so what you do in this situation

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