ive decided i must have been a completely shallow bitch in my last life, and now im being punished - either that or i was an extremely popular psychologist and all my old clients keep finding me
Funny! I've been thinking the same thing! That what ever I did in my past life I must be being punished for now. :(
Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?
Either that or I gotta find a doctor to surgically remove this magnet!
Funny! I've been thinking the same thing! That what ever I did in my past life I must be being punished for now. :(
Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?
Either that or I gotta find a doctor to surgically remove this magnet!
oh well it'll probably be months until I go out on a saturday night again anyway!
So if you got months before you go out on a Saturday night again, start practicing now! So you're prepared. Make that your challenge. Between then and now just start talking to people that you wouldn't normally in the course of your day.
Try not to get too down on yourself though. You're just as good as anyone else in this world, people should be glad to talk to you. And if they're not that's their issue and nothing to do with you.
Funny! I've been thinking the same thing! That what ever I did in my past life I must be being punished for now. :(
Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?
Either that or I gotta find a doctor to surgically remove this magnet!
maybe all the australian boys are drug fuelled, alcoholic, commitment shy, psychotic weirdos???
Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?
No. This type of girl ALWAYS ends up with some dude who cannot make a decision for himself to save his life. I imagine that'd be really annoying.
yknow - i think id like to find myself a nice spanish boy - nice hair,nice eyes, very very nice accent, and his mum could probably cook
all sounds good
there's a whole world out there so they tell me.
Who knows? I'm done. I just accept that if it's sniffing around me sooner or later the depths of the deceit and bullshit will be revealed. So when the sniffing starts I tend to bugger off real quick. Time to live up to my brother's expectations and die a spinster and be eaten by the dog.
but so does sitting there waiting for someone to say hi to you. Not that you were waiting for the guy to come to you that night but if you were interested in striking up a conversation, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and go say "hey, what's up?".
I go to bars with friends and alone. When I go alone, sometimes that's what I want....to chill for a drink or dinner by myself. Sometimes I want to chat with new people...no, not pick up or get picked up...just meet some new people and interact with the world a little.
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
so as I posted before my friends are trying to get me to meet guys and date even though I don't want to (well I mean I do want to some day, but there's no way I could handle the stress of dating right now when I'm literally the fattest I've ever been in my life). So anyway, I was at my favorite bar saturday night with my 2 friends. we were sitting in the corner and I had my back to the bar. all of a sudden, they both look at each other and start cracking up and they're like "GTD, I think both just saw your perfect man." So I turn around and there's a guy there and I'm like "yeah he's cute" he looked like my type or whatever. So then they both start getting on me like "you have to go talk to him!" and I'm like "no way, I've never talked to guys in bars before and I'm not going to start now, and besides neither of you have ever done it either." But they still keep pushing it and I'm like "there is nothing to say to this random person, I'm not going to just walk all the way over there and say 'hi.'"
anyway, eventually the guy left, but the point of all of this is that none of us knew how you talk to a random guy in bar, so the question is 1) would you have done it and 2) what would you have said?
and 3) my one friend said that her boyfriend says that anytime a girl initiates a conversation she will get at least get respect and stuff from the guy. but I argue that that doesn't apply to certain girls. discuss.
Being a guy, I won't answer 1 and 2. However, I can tell you that I would be flattered if a girl approached me and even if I had no interest I would have conversation. I think this is true for all normal guys. I would avoid the guys who clearly think they are hot shit. They would probably scoff at you, just like a super hot girl would at me. For examples of those guys please refer to hotchickswithdouchebags.com
Hope this helps!
Cincinnati '03 Flooded venue!
Bridge School '06 Night 1 & 2
Venice '07 pummeled by the sleet!
Nijmegen '07
Werchter '07
April Fools ~ LA1
but so does sitting there waiting for someone to say hi to you. Not that you were waiting for the guy to come to you that night but if you were interested in striking up a conversation, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and go say "hey, what's up?".
oh no, I never wait for people to say hi to me...I wasn't really interested in having a conversation with this person, how could I be? I just thought he was somewhat cute. my friends were the ones who wanted me to talk to him. I am not interested in talking to guys right now (I can't even fathom how I could even like go there...at all...). My only concern in writing this thread is that some day maybe I will be interested in talking to guys again? Lately I have been wanting that day to come sooner than later (but I just have to wait...indefinitely...).
If someone's at a bar on a Saturday night, they're probably more up for being approached by a stranger than in just about any other social situation. (Unless they're a total asshole. I realize we're talking about Boston, so...) If you're not afraid of rejection, you really don't have to worry about getting past the initial introduction...if the guy's interested, he'll usually do the heavy lifting from there (especially if you were confident enough to make the approach).
If someone's at a bar on a Saturday night, they're probably more up for being approached by a stranger than in just about any other social situation.
I guess that could be true...not sure...I think about the people I go out with, and they're all in relationships and don't really want to talk to anyone new, they are just there to be with the people they already know. it *should* be the way you describe it, I hope it is.
oh no, I never wait for people to say hi to me...I wasn't really interested in having a conversation with this person, I just thought he was somewhat cute.
that is what I wrote - your original post noted you weren't interested but if you were, what would others here do in that situation. Subsequently, you noted that you thought it contrived and unnatural to walk up to a guy to strike up the conversation. So you answered your own question - you don't wait for people to come to you, you'd go to them....if you were interested in doing so.
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
I guess that could be true...not sure...I think about the people I go out with, and they're all in relationships and don't really want to talk to anyone new, they are just there to be with the people they already know. it *should* be the way you describe it, I hope it is.
If someone's in a relationship, they'll usually tell you up front. If you really are generally cool with chatting up strangers, you'll be fine. I'm out there and that's definitely how it is...and I also tend to have a hard time biting the bullet and saying hi. Now after a couple whiskeys...
If someone's in a relationship, they'll usually tell you up front. If you really are generally cool with chatting up strangers, you'll be fine. I'm out there and that's definitely how it is...and I also tend to have a hard time biting the bullet and saying hi. Now after a couple whiskeys...
ah yes...a little llllllliquid courage helps.
well, if you see me, say hi. I'll do the same. I'm north of Boston but am usually in town every other weekend...actually, I hit the Navy Yard to visit with my mom every Thirsty Thursday.
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
If someone's in a relationship, they'll usually tell you up front. If you really are generally cool with chatting up strangers, you'll be fine. I'm out there and that's definitely how it is...and I also tend to have a hard time biting the bullet and saying hi. Now after a couple whiskeys...
ah whiskey...my drink of choice as well...
of course I had like 5 jack and diets over the course of saturday night and it wasn't enough...
If someone's in a relationship, they'll usually tell you up front. If you really are generally cool with chatting up strangers, you'll be fine. I'm out there and that's definitely how it is...and I also tend to have a hard time biting the bullet and saying hi. Now after a couple whiskeys...
I wish that people went out to bars and stuff to be part of the community and just hang out with everyone. not many people do. the only men that have ever struck up conversations with me in bars have been irish...I think it's because in ireland the pub is the place you go just hang out with everyone, talk to plenty of people...I wish it was like that around here. what is the point of just sitting in the corner with people you've known for 10 years?
ok so i read the first page and this one...you sound like my lil' sis who wants this magical moment come knock her over the head with arrows, and hearts, and lights that says "TALK TO THIS GUY HE WANTS YOU"...or something like that. The funny thing is that the guy is going through the same exact anxiety. Maybe whomever it is you might want to talk to is looking at you waiting for the same "magical moment" only it never comes b/c you are both afraid.
I was always the same way, and my encouragement to her was to just go and get a beer (accidentally when the person you have your eye on does), and strike up conversation. Start by making a comment about their drink of choice like "oh Harp Lager I've never had that before is it any good?"... if it's just the cheap beer on special "I'm not a big fan of Miller Lite but for $2 a bottle how can you beat it?" .
If the guy is anywhere near worth talking to he will:
A. Totally be happy that you are willing to talk booze with him, and will try explaining what it is like...maybe even offer a taste...or better yet buy you one (I've fallen for that before ). ALWAYS ALWAYS TAKE IT by the way. Even if you don't like it...if you start the convo...you gotta do the time.
B. Respond with a quick joke about how much he loves cheap beer, or that he's a college student and can't afford anything else...boom now you ask where he goes to school. Now you got him talking about himself (booze and school) which takes him off the defensive, and makes him comfortable. This allows him to show interest back...if he doesn't then fine game over...if he does there you are.
or:
C. He'll just be a dick...and well fuck it...that happens.
I'm no gambler but 67% odds of at least having a cool conversation with a good looking individual is pretty good. If you can't tell I am a champion flirt, partly because I like talking to people I'm attracted to, and partly because I learned that if you are genuinely interested in listening to other people you can make a lot of friends and new acquaintences this way. The way I have met many of my good friends are through their friends that took me back to their table or party b/c I started a conversation with them.
ok so i read the first page and this one...you sound like my lil' sis who wants this magical moment come knock her over the head with arrows, and hearts, and lights that says "TALK TO THIS GUY HE WANTS YOU"...or something like that. The funny thing is that the guy is going through the same exact anxiety. Maybe whomever it is you might want to talk to is looking at you waiting for the same "magical moment" only it never comes b/c you are both afraid.
I was always the same way, and my encouragement to her was to just go and get a beer (accidentally when the person you have your eye on does), and strike up conversation. Start by making a comment about their drink of choice like "oh Harp Lager I've never had that before is it any good?"... if it's just the cheap beer on special "I'm not a big fan of Miller Lite but for $2 a bottle how can you beat it?" .
If the guy is anywhere near worth talking to he will:
A. Totally be happy that you are willing to talk booze with him, and will try explaining what it is like...maybe even offer a taste...or better yet buy you one (I've fallen for that before ). ALWAYS ALWAYS TAKE IT by the way. Even if you don't like it...if you start the convo...you gotta do the time.
B. Respond with a quick joke about how much he loves cheap beer, or that he's a college student and can't afford anything else...boom now you ask where he goes to school. Now you got him talking about himself (booze and school) which takes him off the defensive, and makes him comfortable. This allows him to show interest back...if he doesn't then fine game over...if he does there you are.
or:
C. He'll just be a dick...and well fuck it...that happens.
I'm no gambler but 67% odds of at least having a cool conversation with a good looking individual is pretty good. If you can't tell I am a champion flirt, partly because I like talking to people I'm attracted to, and partly because I learned that if you are genuinely interested in listening to other people you can make a lot of friends and new acquaintences this way. The way I have met many of my good friends are through their friends that took me back to their table or party b/c I started a conversation with them.
hahaha I think I'll have some problems if I'm hitting on college students...
no I mean this situation I would do. I just couldn't walk up to someone for no reason. but I also probably wouldn't pick a person out and try to be at the same time as them or something, I'd have to just happen to be and it would all just have to be like normal.
what is the point of just sitting in the corner with people you've known for 10 years?
Hmmmmmmm...but isn't that just what you were doing?
On a more serious note, I'm a Johnnie Walker guy. One of my friends got me a bottle of Green for my birthday...now that's a friend. Jack is definitely reliable, though. If you like Jack, I would suggest making a little slide over to Woodford Reserve if you are at a bar that has it. You will be pleasantly surprised!
Hmmmmmmm...but isn't that just what you were doing?
On a more serious note, I'm a Johnnie Walker guy. One of my friends got me a bottle of Green for my birthday...now that's a friend. Jack is definitely reliable, though. If you like Jack, I would suggest making a little slide over to Woodford Reserve if you are at a bar that has it. You will be pleasantly surprised!
yeah it was what I was doing, because that's what everyone does!
oh yeah I had the woodford reserve once...I usually don't get too fancy but yeah it was nice.
hahaha I think I'll have some problems if I'm hitting on college students...
no I mean this situation I would do. I just couldn't walk up to someone for no reason. but I also probably wouldn't pick a person out and try to be at the same time as them or something, I'd have to just happen to be and it would all just have to be like normal.
true...you said you had your MA. DONT really on random chance though, chug your jack and diet and run up to the bar (well walk don't run...running is a bit desperate and just make it look natural-ish)...the extra boost from the booze and fizz can make shooting the comment out seem normal. Or sit at the actual bar (this is where the action is right?)
Honestly when my wife goes home for the weekend I go down to my local with a bartender I know (he has a serious g/f), and we just sit at the bar or behind it and talk to everyone that comes in. Throughout the night I probably flirt/talk to 4-6 complete strangers.
Since I've been in b'more I've probably met hundreds of different people all who have fascinating stories about why they are at the ballpark, convention center, arena, etc. When I go home, even though I don't come close to taking anyone with me, I feel less lonely than had I just stayed in all night watching a movie. So even if you are unsuccessful at "pulling" anyone from the bar, at least you are getting closer to that kind of conversation that you say you would like to get...AND I'm pretty sure if I weren't taken on plenty of those nights I could have garnered a date or more.
Comments
eh I can't, I won't have anyone to go with for a while I'm sure.
Maybe I gotta learn how to be a hard nosed bitch and not give a fuck?
Those gals seem to do alright.
I hate that "treat em mean keep em keen" idea but maybe it's the way to go?
Either that or I gotta find a doctor to surgically remove this magnet!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
haha I dunno, I'm a pretty hard nosed bitch...
ok - repeat after me:
you ... dont ... need .... anyone ...
remember ...
So if you got months before you go out on a Saturday night again, start practicing now!
Try not to get too down on yourself though. You're just as good as anyone else in this world, people should be glad to talk to you. And if they're not that's their issue and nothing to do with you.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
maybe all the australian boys are drug fuelled, alcoholic, commitment shy, psychotic weirdos???
A hard nosed bitch wouldn't care.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Didn't you know??????
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Yeah, thanks for confirming that. :(
It's what I suspected.
**sigh** I dunno, I'm starting to think that the equal partnership idea is a myth.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I find going out drinking by one's self awkward and kinda boring...
and thats because you dont talk to anyone
seeing a pattern here???
hhhmmmm, apparently not
whats my alternative?? american boys
*ducks*
yknow - i think id like to find myself a nice spanish boy - nice hair,nice eyes, very very nice accent, and his mum could probably cook
all sounds good
there's a whole world out there so they tell me.
Who knows? I'm done. I just accept that if it's sniffing around me sooner or later the depths of the deceit and bullshit will be revealed. So when the sniffing starts I tend to bugger off real quick. Time to live up to my brother's expectations and die a spinster and be eaten by the dog.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
but so does sitting there waiting for someone to say hi to you. Not that you were waiting for the guy to come to you that night but if you were interested in striking up a conversation, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and go say "hey, what's up?".
I go to bars with friends and alone. When I go alone, sometimes that's what I want....to chill for a drink or dinner by myself. Sometimes I want to chat with new people...no, not pick up or get picked up...just meet some new people and interact with the world a little.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
Being a guy, I won't answer 1 and 2. However, I can tell you that I would be flattered if a girl approached me and even if I had no interest I would have conversation. I think this is true for all normal guys. I would avoid the guys who clearly think they are hot shit. They would probably scoff at you, just like a super hot girl would at me. For examples of those guys please refer to hotchickswithdouchebags.com
Hope this helps!
Bridge School '06 Night 1 & 2
Venice '07 pummeled by the sleet!
Nijmegen '07
Werchter '07
April Fools ~ LA1
oh no, I never wait for people to say hi to me...I wasn't really interested in having a conversation with this person, how could I be? I just thought he was somewhat cute. my friends were the ones who wanted me to talk to him. I am not interested in talking to guys right now (I can't even fathom how I could even like go there...at all...). My only concern in writing this thread is that some day maybe I will be interested in talking to guys again? Lately I have been wanting that day to come sooner than later (but I just have to wait...indefinitely...).
I guess that could be true...not sure...I think about the people I go out with, and they're all in relationships and don't really want to talk to anyone new, they are just there to be with the people they already know. it *should* be the way you describe it, I hope it is.
that is what I wrote - your original post noted you weren't interested but if you were, what would others here do in that situation. Subsequently, you noted that you thought it contrived and unnatural to walk up to a guy to strike up the conversation. So you answered your own question - you don't wait for people to come to you, you'd go to them....if you were interested in doing so.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
If someone's in a relationship, they'll usually tell you up front. If you really are generally cool with chatting up strangers, you'll be fine. I'm out there and that's definitely how it is...and I also tend to have a hard time biting the bullet and saying hi. Now after a couple whiskeys...
ah yes...a little llllllliquid courage helps.
well, if you see me, say hi. I'll do the same. I'm north of Boston but am usually in town every other weekend...actually, I hit the Navy Yard to visit with my mom every Thirsty Thursday.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
ah whiskey...my drink of choice as well...
of course I had like 5 jack and diets over the course of saturday night and it wasn't enough...
I wish that people went out to bars and stuff to be part of the community and just hang out with everyone. not many people do. the only men that have ever struck up conversations with me in bars have been irish...I think it's because in ireland the pub is the place you go just hang out with everyone, talk to plenty of people...I wish it was like that around here. what is the point of just sitting in the corner with people you've known for 10 years?
I was always the same way, and my encouragement to her was to just go and get a beer (accidentally when the person you have your eye on does), and strike up conversation. Start by making a comment about their drink of choice like "oh Harp Lager I've never had that before is it any good?"... if it's just the cheap beer on special "I'm not a big fan of Miller Lite but for $2 a bottle how can you beat it?" .
If the guy is anywhere near worth talking to he will:
A. Totally be happy that you are willing to talk booze with him, and will try explaining what it is like...maybe even offer a taste...or better yet buy you one (I've fallen for that before
B. Respond with a quick joke about how much he loves cheap beer, or that he's a college student and can't afford anything else...boom now you ask where he goes to school. Now you got him talking about himself (booze and school) which takes him off the defensive, and makes him comfortable. This allows him to show interest back...if he doesn't then fine game over...if he does there you are.
or:
C. He'll just be a dick...and well fuck it...that happens.
I'm no gambler but 67% odds of at least having a cool conversation with a good looking individual is pretty good. If you can't tell I am a champion flirt, partly because I like talking to people I'm attracted to, and partly because I learned that if you are genuinely interested in listening to other people you can make a lot of friends and new acquaintences this way. The way I have met many of my good friends are through their friends that took me back to their table or party b/c I started a conversation with them.
hahaha I think I'll have some problems if I'm hitting on college students...
no I mean this situation I would do. I just couldn't walk up to someone for no reason. but I also probably wouldn't pick a person out and try to be at the same time as them or something, I'd have to just happen to be and it would all just have to be like normal.
Hmmmmmmm...but isn't that just what you were doing?
On a more serious note, I'm a Johnnie Walker guy. One of my friends got me a bottle of Green for my birthday...now that's a friend. Jack is definitely reliable, though. If you like Jack, I would suggest making a little slide over to Woodford Reserve if you are at a bar that has it. You will be pleasantly surprised!
yeah it was what I was doing, because that's what everyone does!
oh yeah I had the woodford reserve once...I usually don't get too fancy but yeah it was nice.
true...you said you had your MA. DONT really on random chance though, chug your jack and diet and run up to the bar (well walk don't run...running is a bit desperate and just make it look natural-ish)...the extra boost from the booze and fizz can make shooting the comment out seem normal. Or sit at the actual bar (this is where the action is right?)
Honestly when my wife goes home for the weekend I go down to my local with a bartender I know (he has a serious g/f), and we just sit at the bar or behind it and talk to everyone that comes in. Throughout the night I probably flirt/talk to 4-6 complete strangers.
Since I've been in b'more I've probably met hundreds of different people all who have fascinating stories about why they are at the ballpark, convention center, arena, etc. When I go home, even though I don't come close to taking anyone with me, I feel less lonely than had I just stayed in all night watching a movie. So even if you are unsuccessful at "pulling" anyone from the bar, at least you are getting closer to that kind of conversation that you say you would like to get...AND I'm pretty sure if I weren't taken on plenty of those nights I could have garnered a date or more.
well not just that, I'm 30 years old!
I like younger men but...