so what you do in this situation

GreenTeaDisease

so as I posted before my friends are trying to get me to meet guys and date even though I don't want to (well I mean I do want to some day, but there's no way I could handle the stress of dating right now when I'm literally the fattest I've ever been in my life). So anyway, I was at my favorite bar saturday night with my 2 friends. we were sitting in the corner and I had my back to the bar. all of a sudden, they both look at each other and start cracking up and they're like "GTD, I think both just saw your perfect man." So I turn around and there's a guy there and I'm like "yeah he's cute" he looked like my type or whatever. So then they both start getting on me like "you have to go talk to him!" and I'm like "no way, I've never talked to guys in bars before and I'm not going to start now, and besides neither of you have ever done it either." But they still keep pushing it and I'm like "there is nothing to say to this random person, I'm not going to just walk all the way over there and say 'hi.'"

anyway, eventually the guy left, but the point of all of this is that none of us knew how you talk to a random guy in bar, so the question is 1) would you have done it and 2) what would you have said?

and 3) my one friend said that her boyfriend says that anytime a girl initiates a conversation she will get at least get respect and stuff from the guy. but I argue that that doesn't apply to certain girls. discuss.

Rygar

I'm a guy and a chicken, I'd have done the same thing you did.
Your friends are right - chicks initiating convo = good.

"My name is George. I am unemployed and I live with my parents."
"Hi, I'm Victoria."

NY PJ1

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

so as I posted before my friends are trying to get me to meet guys and date even though I don't want to (well I mean I do want to some day, but there's no way I could handle the stress of dating right now when I'm literally the fattest I've ever been in my life). So anyway, I was at my favorite bar saturday night with my 2 friends. we were sitting in the corner and I had my back to the bar. all of a sudden, they both look at each other and start cracking up and they're like "GTD, I think both just saw your perfect man." So I turn around and there's a guy there and I'm like "yeah he's cute" he looked like my type or whatever. So then they both start getting on me like "you have to go talk to him!" and I'm like "no way, I've never talked to guys in bars before and I'm not going to start now, and besides neither of you have ever done it either." But they still keep pushing it and I'm like "there is nothing to say to this random person, I'm not going to just walk all the way over there and say 'hi.'"

anyway, eventually the guy left, but the point of all of this is that none of us knew how you talk to a random guy in bar, so the question is 1) would you have done it and 2) what would you have said?

and 3) my one friend said that her boyfriend says that anytime a girl initiates a conversation she will get at least get respect and stuff from the guy. but I argue that that doesn't apply to certain girls. discuss.

starting a convo is half the battle

but i always used the approach of who cares what they say ?
if they tell u to leave ,,leave if not hey it might be good

if u talk to 50 guys or gals in a night ,, at least 5-10 have to give you the time of the day

ya gotta just do it

pjtradeking

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

so as I posted before my friends are trying to get me to meet guys and date even though I don't want to (well I mean I do want to some day, but there's no way I could handle the stress of dating right now when I'm literally the fattest I've ever been in my life). So anyway, I was at my favorite bar saturday night with my 2 friends. we were sitting in the corner and I had my back to the bar. all of a sudden, they both look at each other and start cracking up and they're like "GTD, I think both just saw your perfect man." So I turn around and there's a guy there and I'm like "yeah he's cute" he looked like my type or whatever. So then they both start getting on me like "you have to go talk to him!" and I'm like "no way, I've never talked to guys in bars before and I'm not going to start now, and besides neither of you have ever done it either." But they still keep pushing it and I'm like "there is nothing to say to this random person, I'm not going to just walk all the way over there and say 'hi.'"

anyway, eventually the guy left, but the point of all of this is that none of us knew how you talk to a random guy in bar, so the question is 1) would you have done it and 2) what would you have said?

and 3) my one friend said that her boyfriend says that anytime a girl initiates a conversation she will get at least get respect and stuff from the guy. but I argue that that doesn't apply to certain girls. discuss.

Without saying too much here...I am of the opinion, that sometimes certain situations do not require be analyzed....Its not a matter of what is and isnt right or wrong to say, but rather if you wanted to talk to him and you thought he was cute, regardless of what you have to say, you just need to go for it sometimes. People disect things too damn much these days about what is and isnt acceptable in the "dating rules and regs book". If you thought he was cute, you simply should have just struck up a conversation. There is no ettiquette when it comes to this stuff...It is not 1950 any longer. imho....Not directed at you persay, but at the whole thing in general..

GreenTeaDisease

NY PJ1 wrote:

starting a convo is half the battle

but i always used the approach of who cares what they say ?
if they tell u to leave ,,leave if not hey it might be good

if u talk to 50 guys or gals in a night ,, at least 5-10 have to give you the time of the day

ya gotta just do it

well I wouldn't really care about like being rejected or anything, but the point is, what do you say when you just get up and walk over to someone?

mookie9999

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well I wouldn't really care about like being rejected or anything, but the point is, what do you say when you just get up and walk over to someone?

See the pick-up line thread

NY PJ1

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well I wouldn't really care about like being rejected or anything, but the point is, what do you say when you just get up and walk over to someone?

simple basic shit,, hello whats up?

nothing over the top ,, just basic convo

i will say its probably easier for a guy to go over because we can use the buy ya a drink line

although a girl can say hey how bout u buy me a drink lol

but seriously whats up? hows ur night ? basic shit
if a person is interested in talking to you ,,it really doesnt matter what u say

GreenTeaDisease

NY PJ1 wrote:

simple basic shit,, hello whats up?

nothing over the top ,, just basic convo

i will say its probably easier for a guy to go over because we can use the buy ya a drink line

although a girl can say hey how bout u buy me a drink lol

but seriously whats up? hows ur night ? basic shit
if a person is interested in talking to you ,,it really doesnt matter what u say

see, that just sounds ridiculous to me. maybe if I were sitting next to them at the bar or something, but you don't just walk over to someone...

mookie9999

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

see, that just sounds ridiculous to me. maybe if I were sitting next to them at the bar or something, but you don't just walk over to someone...

Why not? What's the worst that could happen?

GreenTeaDisease

mookie9999 wrote:

Why not? What's the worst that could happen?

it just seems very contrived and unnatural.

edvedder913

mookie9999 wrote:

See the pick-up line thread

honestly, who needs to ever go on any other website, read a paper, or turn on the news again when we have the pit? ha ha

seriously - I find EVERYTHING here.....

iluvcats

gtd

remember this old thread? i see you replied to it...
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=219578

stop calling yourself "fat." besides I read an article that being over weight is now the norm. I looked for personality in a date. My husband is overweight. It does not change who he is.

audiodave

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

it just seems very contrived and unnatural.

It's natural for some, and unnatural for others. Some people can walk up to a random stranger and start up a conversation about any random shit. I don't happen to be one of those people, so I agree with you on this one.

mookie9999

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

it just seems very contrived and unnatural.

Of course it's that way. But the best things in life are those that you have to work at. If it's easy, what's the point and where's the fun?

edvedder913

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

it just seems very contrived and unnatural.

that is how people meet. "hi my name is..." On the contrary, it is very natural.

I met a few people on here that way - at a PJ show or gathering and people have just walked up to me and introduced themselves - and today we are friends.

You are reading too much into it. Keep it simple.

GreenTeaDisease

audiodave wrote:

It's natural for some, and unnatural for others. Some people can walk up to a random stranger and start up a conversation about any random shit. I don't happen to be one of those people, so I agree with you on this one.

I kinda feel like if I'm meant to meet someone a conversation would naturally start... you know what I mean?

anyway, I also think it's hilarious that neither of my friends would ever do it either and yet they were so into pressuring me to do it. Oh now I remember what they wanted me to say...

"hey, did you go to [our college]?"
"no"
"oh sorry you look familiar. did you go to [my grad school]"
...

how lame is that???

audiodave

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I kinda feel like if I'm meant to meet someone a conversation would naturally start... you know what I mean?

I completely agree. I don't really like the whole picking people up in bars thing, as it's based on how they look. While that is always a factor, it's never looks that initially attract me to someone, it's who they are.

Rygar

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I kinda feel like if I'm meant to meet someone a conversation would naturally start... you know what I mean?

anyway, I also think it's hilarious that neither of my friends would ever do it either and yet they were so into pressuring me to do it. Oh now I remember what they wanted me to say...

"hey, did you go to [our college]?"
"no"
"oh sorry you look familiar. did you go to [my grad school]"
...

how lame is that???

No, that is fine.

GreenTeaDisease

audiodave wrote:

I completely agree. I don't really like the whole picking people up in bars thing, as it's based on how they look. While that is always a factor, it's never looks that initially attract me to someone, it's who they are.

yeah I mean it seems like if someone purposefully walks up to you and hands you a line or whatever, the FIRST thing you're going to be fixated on his sizing up how they look. I think you are dead on here. (and when you don't exactly look good that's probably not what you want happening!)

edvedder913

I cannot tell you how many male friends I have that say they do not go up to girls often b/c they are intimidated - esp. if the girl is with a group of girls.

One of my best friends got married last year - she and her hubby were set up on a blind date. He fully admitted that if he ever saw her out at a bar - or any of her friends for that matter- he NEVER would have walked up to any of us. Meanwhile, they are a great match and happily married.

Guys get intimidated too.....it's all about taking a chance. If you see someone who really interests you, go for it. Just say "Hi, I'm GTD (insert real name!)" and see where it goes. you never know.....

Steve Dunne

introduce yourself as eddie vedder. if the person scoffs, well then, they're not worth the time of day. but if they say 'hey, i love pearl jam', then there you have it!!! (this may apply to a male/female)