so what you do in this situation

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well I wouldn't really care about like being rejected or anything, but the point is, what do you say when you just get up and walk over to someone?

"Hello, my name is GreenTeaDisease. I hope you don't mind me coming over to introduce myself but I thought you might be an interesting person to talk to.
What's your name?"



Next you need to give the person some information they can start a conversation with-- like where you work or what you like to do.

Ask a man a question and he'll probably be happy to answer it.

DaytimeDilemma wrote:

The internet has ruined everyone's social skills. This is the truth...

I can't believe how true this actually is. I've always known this but hearing someone say it makes it seem so much more true. I've realized it living a portion of my life when the internet was large and I've really tried hard to overcome this and I think i've done decent, but everyone can always have room for improvement.

GTD- I've noticed too in threads you often talk about how you are not happy with your own physical appearance, and people will say that's not good, but it's your own body whatever you think is right. But really, many guys don't like stick thin girls like many people have said here. Honestly. The ones who do most likely won't be the type you want to be with anyway.

I say go for it. These things are awkward [and probably more so with your friends there] but just go for it if there is a little curiosity there. Chances are you're not going to be humiliated if the guy is not interested and at worse you'll get a simple no thanks. You'll probably never see anyone again, so again you don't have to worry about being humiliated.

A lot of people say regret is worse than being rejected. Take chances. You never know how lucky you may be or how well things may turn out for you.

DaytimeDilemma wrote:

The internet has ruined everyone's social skills. This is the truth. I can't believe how many people here just don't understand the concept of speaking to the opposite sex. It's so weird. Our parents and our parents' parents never had Match.com or craigslist or whatnot. They got together through the oldest communication skill known to man, speech.

Sorry but I don't buy this argument... at all. In the 20s, 30s and 40s, 50s, 60s, people used to get to know one another, even fall in love, through writing telegrams to each other. During both world wars, women fell in love with soliders this way... and only married after the war was over. So if you're going to argue that the internet has destroyed communication, I want to hear that the written letter in itself was the first culprit. And then the telephone.

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Sorry but I don't buy this argument... at all. In the 20s, 30s and 40s, people used to get to know one another, even fall in love, through writing telegrams to each other; women fell in love with soliders this way... and only married after the war was over. So if you're going to argue that the internet has destroyed communication, I want to hear that the written letter in itself was the first culprit. And then the telephone.

I'm pretty sure people started procreating before the telegram was invented.


Internet did not destroy communication. The internet is a communication device. But, the internet HAS hindered many people's social skills. Some would rather sit at home and chat on the internet than go outside and chat with real human beings. It's just people can say whatever they want on the internet and hide behind a false persona, rather than true human interaction.

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Some people are not able to go out and chat with regular human beings on a very regular basis - certainly not to the extent it would require them in order to meet someone with regards to being in a relationship with them. This has always been true.

True, but sometimes you it's good to force yourself to go out just to keep a balanced mind rather than stare at a computer screen all day.


Just my opinion though.

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

We're not just talking personality disorders or shyness here. There are other factors which mean that people are shacked up in their houses the vast majority of the time with little to no choice; the internet is an excellent way for those people to form connections.

This is true, but tell me that doesn't hinder your social skills when you meet someone in person.

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

My social skills are just fine in person... I go to work, I teach, I have a family, friends 'in real life'... No one makes internet connections exclusively. But for those that do make connections online, the hope is that their social skills will be just fine when they eventually meet in person because the groundwork is already done, thoughts and views shared, personalities discovered etc. Who says that physicality and 'looks' should come before, or at an earlier stage, than those things? Isn't that quite a superficial view?

Uhhh...that is a good hope, but I mean c'mon man. There are tons of threads posted here everyday from people who have problems communicating with the opposite sex. I mean obviously they lack the social skills they need to work things out. And why would someone come and post about it on a board where they know no one rather than discuss it with a real friend. You could say that it's because they want suggestions from all areas, but I tend to think it's because people find it easier to post anonymously than talk about their feelings with real people. I view that as somewhat troubling. I'm not saying that people should base everything on looks or whatever, but if people in the past did okay without the internet or letters, we should be able to as well.


And I can guarantee you some people make internet connections exclusively. Ever seen the people who play World Of Warcraft? Yeah, them.


Basically, if you are able, there isn't anything wrong with going out somewhere and simply talking to someone whom you find attractive. It's not that big of a deal. in the least.

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

But that's just it... what do you find attractive? If you're the kind of person to go and talk to a girl just because you like her flowing locks or child-bearing hips, then fine... have at it. But I can't tell whether a girl is funny, articulate, intelligent, sweet, caring and kind from across a crowded room. Different strokes for different folks...

But the girl with the flowing locks could be funny, articulate, and intelligent...you would never know if you don't TALK TO HER. Girls with looks can also be really cool, you know.


And with that, I'm done. I feel like this is just going in circles.

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I don't think this is true. I was in college just at the time people *started* using the internet for everything. I couldn't talk to guys then, either. I never met a single man I could date until match.com came along. Without it I would be 30 years old and never have had any sort of relationship.

You're basically proving me right with what you said here.

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

how? I'm saying that I wasn't raised with the internet. I didn't have it in high school, barely had it in college, and I still didn't know how to date.

Well, then this seems more like a personal problem. I don't know what to say. If you can't talk to people in bars or just have trouble meeting people in general and the internet helps you meet people, then by all means, go ahead. But I can't say I find it very healthy. Internet dating, though I've never done it, seems like the weirdest shit.