so what you do in this situation

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  • NY PJ1
    NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    starting the convo is tough but ya gotta get over the fear and say screw it

    go say hello,, screw it
  • Derrick
    Derrick Posts: 475
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    (well I mean I do want to some day, but there's no way I could handle the stress of dating right now when I'm literally the fattest I've ever been in my life).
    um..if you feel fat, you're probably not going to be happy and you're probably not going to make other people feel happy if this is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about relationship prospects. Go to a gym regularly! Even if you don't lose a single pound, and even if you look exactly the same, you WILL feel better about yourself and have more confidence to do things like talk to guys and whatnot.

    1) would you have done it and 2) what would you have said?\
    Hi, my name's <insert name here> and I noticed you from across the room. Can I buy you a drink?

    and 3) my one friend said that her boyfriend says that anytime a girl initiates a conversation she will get at least get respect and stuff from the guy. but I argue that that doesn't apply to certain girls. discuss.

    We are typically superficial and base a lot on appearance (so do girls), but the right attitude will shine through appearance most often.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Derrick wrote:
    um..if you feel fat, you're probably not going to be happy and you're probably not going to make other people feel happy if this is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about relationship prospects. Go to a gym regularly! Even if you don't lose a single pound, and even if you look exactly the same, you WILL feel better about yourself and have more confidence to do things like talk to guys and whatnot.

    well exactly, that's why I'm not interested in dating.

    (and I've been working out 4-7 days a week for over 10 years (I consider myself an athlete, it's a long story as to how I got fat involving my genes, a boyfriend, some medical problems, and a masters thesis).
  • Derrick
    Derrick Posts: 475
    I don't think it's hard to go up to someone and say hi. It's harder for me to shed a person that I've discovered I don't like after going up to say hi.

    Rejection is about gaining experience, not a statement about who you are. Don't let it get to you. Don't fear rejection. It's not going to hurt you.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Rygar wrote:
    No, that is fine.

    really? you wouldn't just be like "oh come off it..."?

    haha actually my friend and I once really DID think we went to college with a guy we saw in bar so we went up and said hi but it wasn't him...haha I'm sure he thought we were coming on to him...
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Derrick wrote:
    Don't fear rejection. It's not going to hurt you.

    I beg to differ kind sir. After using the line from the pick-up thread about nice shoes, the only way I could describe that glass being smashed against my face would be painful. ;)
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • Rygar
    Rygar Posts: 8,711
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    really? you wouldn't just be like "oh come off it..."?

    haha actually my friend and I once really DID think we went to college with a guy we saw in bar so we went up and said hi but it wasn't him...haha I'm sure he thought we were coming on to him...
    No, I'd be fine with that.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    well I guess this thread is kinda stupid. I've just been thinking a lot lately that some day I am going to want to date, and since I don't want to do online dating anymore, I have no idea how I would go about meeting anyone. the thought of it really intimidates me because I know I've never met anyone before.
  • Derrick
    Derrick Posts: 475
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    well exactly, that's why I'm not interested in dating.

    (and I've been working out 4-7 days a week for over 10 years (I consider myself an athlete, it's a long story as to how I got fat involving my genes, a boyfriend, some medical problems, and a masters thesis).

    Well, I don't know your body type or your medical history, so I cannot comment on those factors. But if you are regularly expending more calories than you take in, you will lose weight/size. That's the gist of the situation. So maybe you've just gotten yourself into a routine that is not sufficient for the amount of food you feel comfortable eating.

    And...a healthy woman with curves is WAAAAAY more sexy than a healthy woman with zero curves. 9 out of 10 guys will agree with that. A woman's body can be completely fit with a few extra pounds.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Derrick wrote:
    Well, I don't know your body type or your medical history, so I cannot comment on those factors. But if you are regularly expending more calories than you take in, you will lose weight/size. That's the gist of the situation. So maybe you've just gotten yourself into a routine that is not sufficient for the amount of food you feel comfortable eating.

    And...a healthy woman with curves is WAAAAAY more sexy than a healthy woman with zero curves. 9 out of 10 guys will agree with that. A woman's body can be completely fit with a few extra pounds.

    this is really not the point of this thread. I'm not looking for weight loss advice.
  • Derrick
    Derrick Posts: 475
    mookie9999 wrote:
    I beg to differ kind sir. After using the line from the pick-up thread about nice shoes, the only way I could describe that glass being smashed against my face would be painful. ;)

    Well...I suppose there is a certain amount of tact required!!! lol "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" probably won't fit the bill.
  • mookie9999
    mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Derrick wrote:
    Well...I suppose there is a certain amount of tact required!!! lol "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" probably won't fit the bill.

    I believe everything I read off of the internets. As such, I figured why would anyone stir me wrong. Next up I'm going to be trying the "Chinese" line. I'll let you know how it goes.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • rearviewmiror
    rearviewmiror Posts: 894
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    well I guess this thread is kinda stupid. I've just been thinking a lot lately that some day I am going to want to date, and since I don't want to do online dating anymore, I have no idea how I would go about meeting anyone. the thought of it really intimidates me because I know I've never met anyone before.
    Well there is always alternative online dating. I mean this place is crawling with Bostonians (You are in Boston right?). You wouldnt even have to date them. Making friends with people who could help you get around like minded people in a comfortable environment.
    9/7/98, 8/3/00, 9/4/00, 4/15/03, 7/1/03, 9/28/04, 9/29/04, 5/24/06, 5/25/06, 6/17/08, 6/22/08, 6/28/08, 6/30/08, 5/17/10, 10/15/13, 10/16/13.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    rearviewmiror wrote:
    Well there is always alternative online dating. I mean this place is crawling with Bostonians (You are in Boston right?). You wouldnt even have to date them. Making friends with people who could help you get around like minded people in a comfortable environment.

    yeah I suppose. I've been on this board for like 8 years and never hung out with anyone before but I suppose there's always a first.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    this is really not the point of this thread. I'm not looking for weight loss advice.

    Don't worry about Mr. Motivator.. I've seen him do it in other threads as well. To be honest, I think he's a robot.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Derrick
    Derrick Posts: 475
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    this is really not the point of this thread. I'm not looking for weight loss advice.

    True, but I just thought it was strange that was the first comment you made about relationships. Be confident. Don't fear rejection. You're a pearl jam fan...so um..."don't save up on life..gotta spend it."
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Derrick wrote:
    True, but I just thought it was strange that was the first comment you made about relationships.

    well unfortunately, it is my first thought when it comes to relationships. I don't think it's a coincidence that I started dating when I was 25, the same year I didn't eat anything and became exercise bullemic. Sad fact of life.
  • josevolution
    josevolution Posts: 31,648
    hell when i was single if a woman came over to me and started to talk to me that made me feel like a king, and i would never brush them away ,you should of gone over to him and said hello ....
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    well unfortunately, it is my first thought when it comes to relationships. I don't think it's a coincidence that I started dating when I was 25, the same year I didn't eat anything and became exercise bullemic. Sad fact of life.

    Not a 'fact of life'. At all. Not every guy out there is so shallow.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Derrick
    Derrick Posts: 475
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Don't worry about Mr. Motivator.. I've seen him do it in other threads as well. To be honest, I think he's a robot.

    I suppose I should be offended. If you seriously have an issue, feel free to pm me. .

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