Help me Understand my wife

share · July 2008

Did you score tickets for her birthday?

MrMerkinball · July 2008

share wrote:

Did you score tickets for her birthday?

Jeeze - Good Memory.

I'm going to take that day off and do something she would enjoy.

I might have scored myself a single ticket for the 13th though.

RolandTD20Kdrummer · July 2008

It's moments like this that single people rejoice...

give me a nickle for every confused but doesn't know it yet woman, and I'll rebuild a new universe for all of mankind...

CityMouse · July 2008

If all of this is totally sudden and out of character, it's a hormonal thing after the baby. I'd probably bet my house on it.

or even if it's not completely biochemical, she's probably been going nuts being home with the baby and having the other two on top of it, so she resents that you have a job and get to do other things. I'd be depressed and sort of psycho in that situation too.

Fifthelement · July 2008

I'm glad that you guys are trying to work through things. Keep trying. Good luck.

Get_Right · July 2008

I have not read the entire thread so bear with me.
I too work long hours and am rarely home for dinner or to put my kids to sleep during the week.

Her anger comes from the fact that she is doing every thing at home while you are away-that resentment can build quickly-especially if you are critical of her efforts

the late night call perhaps should have been handled outside the bedroom so she can rest-she views that as you not respecting her role as a mom and that its all about you and your job

no simple answers, when you are away all the time, your wife will have some resentment-you need to make that go away during the weekends.

But man, trying to completely understand your wife, or women in general is like searching for the holy grail.
Find out what she needs to be happy and provide it as often as you can-which still wont be 100% of the time

decides2dream · July 2008

MrMerkinball wrote:

Hello

Things seem sort of back to normal - although it is really strained still at home.

I am talking to someone to help me through.

She knows and ackowledges she hurt me and admits that some of what she was doing doesn't make sense. She still refuses to see any counselor. (I think she knows that she was being irrational).

She is on to this thing where she says I would be happier with someone who could be more supportive of my career. She knows that I would be miserable without her and my family.

I have made arrangements to leave work early 2 times/week over the next little while and we have made better arrangements to have some child-less times together. This seems to be helping.

Thanks for listening a few weeks back.

awww, that's great.

i understand it's still quite diffuclt, and it will remain so. it will take time to work through all the issues, they didn't develop overnight. it's a shame she still says no to counseling, but kudos to you for YOU going. i'm sure it will help you, and you will develop better ways of coping and working on yourself, your relationship...so bound to help your marriage. who knows? in time she may see all the positive results you have and may change her mind and join you. either way, it's good for YOU. also sounds like you made some concrete changes to alleviate some of the issues, and that's great. being proactive is the way to go!

good luck and continued success! i am always so pleased for others when they really try and get it all to work, having a great marriage and family is no small accomplishment, and certainly not something to walk away from easily. all the best!

Heineken Helen · July 2008

MrMerkinball wrote:

Hello

Things seem sort of back to normal - although it is really strained still at home.

I am talking to someone to help me through.

She knows and ackowledges she hurt me and admits that some of what she was doing doesn't make sense. She still refuses to see any counselor. (I think she knows that she was being irrational).

She is on to this thing where she says I would be happier with someone who could be more supportive of my career. She knows that I would be miserable without her and my family.

I have made arrangements to leave work early 2 times/week over the next little while and we have made better arrangements to have some child-less times together. This seems to be helping.

Thanks for listening a few weeks back.

well I'm glad to see there's some kinda start. It sounds like she's probably feeling inadequate... often women feel ugly after giving birth too. I used to tell my sister quite often that she looked really really well (for the only time in my life, lol) as a kinda pre-emptive strike so she couldn't snipe at me

it worked lol. Or I'd make the tea more often than usual or just generally say and do nice stuff. I'm sure you do this too... but it definitely helps.

It's really nice to see somebody putting in the effort though. You've spoken very respectfully of your wife throughout the whole thing... I hope it gets better.

Help me Understand my wife

Comments

Categories