My Grandmother's Funeral
Ahnimus
Posts: 10,560
So, during my Grandmother's funeral the priest? asked everyone to pray. I could see all but two heads go down, mine and my Dad's GF, she is an atheist as well. Following the prayer the priest? repeated several times passages from the Bible about life after death. But he didn't seem to be trying to convince any of us that Grandma is in heaven, rather he seemed to be trying to convince us that if we accept Jesus as our savior we will also go to Heaven.
First, I think most of the people there, except the two that didn't pray have accepted Jesus as their savior. Secondly, it doesn't matter how many times you read Bible passages to me, I'm not going to buy it and neither is my Dad's GF.
Why can't funerals be priestless? Why they got to talk religion at a funeral? The last one I went to was a young girl I knew that committed suicide. The priest kept talking about suicide being the one unforgivable sin and basically said the girl was going to hell. When I die, there better not be a priest there or I come back from the dead to kick his ass!
First, I think most of the people there, except the two that didn't pray have accepted Jesus as their savior. Secondly, it doesn't matter how many times you read Bible passages to me, I'm not going to buy it and neither is my Dad's GF.
Why can't funerals be priestless? Why they got to talk religion at a funeral? The last one I went to was a young girl I knew that committed suicide. The priest kept talking about suicide being the one unforgivable sin and basically said the girl was going to hell. When I die, there better not be a priest there or I come back from the dead to kick his ass!
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
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sucks about your gandma dude, i just went through the same thing...
funerals should be more about the community coming together and remembering the good things the deceased has done rather than about preaching, imo.
Sorry about your grandmother, Ryan. :(
No Prob
Well, I expected there to be a priest and some passages from the bible read. Because my Grandmother was very religious, my whole extended family is very very religious. I just thought it sounded like he was trying to convert non-believers rather than say anything about my grandmother. The guy that married my grandparents, my parents and saw my grandfather to the grave died a few years ago. If he was still around he'd have said something a lot different.
I hear what you are saying about the priest. but at my grandpa's funeral the priest personally knew him so he talked about my grandpa alot. priests are all different, some good some not so much.
Man, I'm so not sorry for my loss. My loss doesn't really matter to me. I'm just happy that my grandma didn't suffer a lot and this is what she wanted. She wanted to be with her husband, and now she is, even though maybe not what she had in mind. Doesn't matter, we all gotta die, she was 76 with cancer, an aneurysm and a crashed liver. She was doomed to death and I'm happy she didn't suffer too much. I was surprised to see that just as many people were laughing as were crying. My aunt and uncle said some words to the effect "She would want us to stand at her grave and laugh, not cry." and in-fact someone read a poem to that effect that was found in her apartment. It's what she would have wanted and I was happy to do that.
cool. no need to suffer. so you believe she is now with her husband? interesting
Well not exactly, they are both in non-existence, so in that sense they are "together".
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
I deleted some, I still have a bunch to reply to though. I'm just tired and lazy lately. 100 message limit sucks
and if you do go to a funeral and it is ultra religious, its probably polite not to sit and whinge and complain about it (especially if its someone in your own family!!!) but rather just show your respects by being there. its not about you, its about the deceased.
i mean sorry to hear about your loss and all, but personally im not religious or anything, but i can sit still in a church for an hour or so and not complain.
when all are one and one is all, to be a rock and not to roll.........
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No one is complaining or was complaining at the funeral. I'm pointing out that the priest was directing his words at non-believers or seemed to, rather than saying words about the deceased.
Sorry about your grandmother and the girl. Religion is not always the best vehicle to understand the weight on one's shoulders. Religion is like politics, a vehicle to an ideal....I always thought the best part of any trip was getting there. So when you let someone off on a trip, whatever vehicle you're on remember that good did exist in that person. In death one is worth the best judgement not the worst.
Ahh - Better to convert during times of sadness...$$$
I see what you mean, I've been to some funerals where I've sat there thinking this should be about the person gone not about religious dogma. Condolences Ahnimus and glad she didn't suffer like you said.
but you know not only do you not need to have a priest at your funeral, you don't actually even need to have a funeral if you don't want one. i'm not planning on one.
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Was it a Catholic funeral? My daughter attended some evangelistic Christian denomination funeral last year and she got that impression (they invited those who were 'unsaved' to 'come up' and receive you know who....), but I've not gotten that impression at Catholic funerals, but I've only been to a couple - my grandfather's and my mother's, so I wasn't paying too much attention to the words at the time.
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At my niece's funeral, which was held at the funeral home, without any church, the priest started reading from something and it sounded like something religious or biblical...but upon listening...he was speaking the words from Stairway To Heaven. It took me a few moments to realize it cuz he was saying the words juts like he would speak some religious passage. I kinda shut him out, then I realized...and was like...wow!!! He didn't get all religious and all that. I have been to a funeral of a suicide victim where the priest went on and on about it being a sin. I've been to some where addicts have died and it was pretty much the same thing.
my dad died just before Easter last year so his service was on Easter Saturday. We're out at the cemetery before the actual memorial service for the committal service and the damn pastor is going on and on about how thousands of years ago Jesus died and rose again three days later.
uhmm...nice one jackass...you're standing beside my dad's casket talking about people coming back from the dead when we all full well know that my dad's NOT coming back. his whole supposed "10 minute" committal turned into 20 minutes of him pissing me off. i tried to keep from choking him because he's my mom's friend and she's uber religious and i know it was comforting for her.
i thought surely his sermon at the actual service won't be so preachy...
...i was so wrong. it was all fire, brimstone and save yourself now lest ye perish in hell.
it's not what my dad wanted. it's not what most of us wanted. it was for mom and her alone, that we went along with it.
i'm still angry.
when i die i want none of it...no preaching...no hymns...
"This women, she prayed that her family would find jesus. will she be let down?"
"If you've been saved...raise your hand"
I mean, she was religious and i didnt care really, just thought it was weird. Oh, and most of my family was joking about it afterwards....but we we're joking around the whole day. Guess that kinda gives you a look into the family personality.
I'm going to have my coffin set up with speakers that blast out "Highway to Hell". You're all invited because I know you're curious to see who THAT'S going to go down.
and at the end, she went out to "Nutbush"............and everybody was encouraged to get up and dance out of the hall.
it was a bit strange but it did lighten things up a bit, and its what she wanted.
when all are one and one is all, to be a rock and not to roll.........
see me @ www.myspace.com/bigmuzz
keep on rockin!.......
Some religious leaders find it extremely difficult to pass up an opportunity to try to convert, or preach.
When my great aunt died, the whole service was hijacked by the preacher, who also seemed to have a lot of trouble remembering her bloody name!
I found it offensive in the extreme.
When my grandad died I was adament that no religion be bought into the ceremony. He was not a religious man and had made his wishes very clear to me over his life. So I did my utmost to accomodate that and I think we managed it admirably. If your grandmother was a religious woman then I guess you need to expect religion at the ceremony, but it is not a time for sermons. I don't think there is anything wrong with quietly removing yourself from the service if you are offended by this.
It is a time for celebrating the life of a person, of offering comfort to those left behind and of farewelling someone with love and dignity.
To use the opportunity for personal gain is poor form by some in my opinion.
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The other's were all in churches and still unlike you we were not given sermon's about fire and brimstone and the likes, what a shame they seem to be handled like that in some places, it most certainly turns people off, however when funerals are done in a non preachy way it can often be the starting of people questioning their own lives and mortality and therefore opening up new ways of thinking.
Perhaps its the kind of churches your families belong to, i certainly know that i have been lucky to have been raised in a non hell fire and brimstone kind of environment especially considering i have a very religious family. I am proud of my mother and her Christianity and i have left my funeral plans all up to her and trust that she will give me a great send off when its my time ( she also knows that some pearl jam must be included and she has a list of 5 songs to chose from for me:D )
Wow, I had no idea. Well, since for the meantime I'm still young, I'll just tell my family and husband my wishes. Then later on, I may do something about paying for it.
http://www.greenburials.org/
I don't feel that littering the Earth with a wooden box is feasible since I'm pro-environment. Plus, I've always wanted to be one with Nature.
My brother in law died in an accident last year and he was an athiest so we held a humanist ceremony. Rather than hymns it was interspersed with a few songs my sister chose. And rather than a priest reading sermons both me and my nephew (his son) read out pieces we'd written about him. Far more personal than some vicar who never knew him.
A few weeks ago I was at my Nan's funeal and the vicar talked about Jesus for half an hour and then when he did try and say something about my Nan he kept mispronouncing her name. Kinda bizarre to have a room full of her family and friends and the one person speaking is the only one there who never knew her. But then she would have wanted a Christian service and that's the most important thing.
Anyway, my condolencies for your Gran.
well said... this is the thing that gets me about funerals... some guy in robes talking about MY family who he never knew.. no chance
if any of my family go before me, as eldest son, father and husband, then i'll be the one making the decisions (unless they have expressed otherwise) and one of them will be no priest talking shite about my mum or my dad or anyone else for that matter
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Didn't see anybody saying it wasn't. But it's ok for you to complain about people "complaining"?
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