becos the women around here dont hate me enough already

Jeanie wrote:

A guy I went out with actually had that hairdo!!

The one second from the left. :eek:

I can tell you it made kissing somewhat dangerous for the eyes!!

Needless to say we broke up!!

Whoa....you dated HellBoy!

RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:

Whoa....you dated HellBoy!

Well, yes, I did. But the guy with the dodgy 80s hairdo wasn't him.

soulsinging wrote:

im not opposed to cohabiting. im opposed to the 'sex and the city' lifestyle. sleeping with whoever is drunk enough to go home with you. one night stands are stupid, period. i dont care how careful you are, it's playing russian roulette. the whole free love thing is nonsense and it's dangerous. hedonism is problematic.

now, im not saying you should only have sex withint the holy bonds of matrimony. just that you should be on your back for every guy that asks. and guys shouldnt be sticking it into any girl he can get the clothes off of. marriage isnt for everyone, and if you've no interest in long term commitment, cohabiting is probably not wise... you're going to get sick of the person but that doesn't mean you should be banging everything you can just becos it feels good.

Well I guess that's cool ss. You've obviously had a think about it and that's what suits you.
I don't see anything wrong with one night stands.
I'm not saying that it's a way of life that should be embraced as the way to go for ever for an individual, but I think that some people, at points in their life, are ruled by their hormones, or urges and that's ok. When you know better you do better. People get lonely, and they crave physical connection. I don't think wasting time trying to make a relationship out of an attraction or missing out is always the best option. If you wanna have meaningless sex, sure go for it. If you don't that's cool too. Obviously all owner onus applies.

I never said I had no interest in long term commitment, I just question whether it's actually achievable. Obviously it's become quite the question, you only have to look at the divorce rate. Ultimately I would love to believe that there is some one for everyone and that cohabitation and/or marriage is an achievable ideal for me. But I don't ever kid myself that even supposing I manage this, that I won't at some point be sick of him or he of me. Hopefully, we will find each other, give it a go, and when we do have moments of boredom, we are able to work through them and move forward together.

soulsinging wrote:

i think the sole benefit of marriage is 1) a more stable environment for children and 2) when you're old and tired of fucking you've got a good friend with you to help you deal with the embarrassments of being an old fart.

and yeah, everyone goes through a phase in the 20s where they're fucking everything that moves... but like you said, i dont think it's a way of long term life. it's like a culture of permanent adolescence. vanity, shallowness, selfishness, and irresponsibility. at some point you've got to grow up... and it seems to me a lot of people dont want to do that anymore. they're 40 and still wanting to bang 20 year old girls and live the college dorm life. it's just kinda pathetic and i've never met a person like that who seemed truly happy.

Well I'd hope that I'd get more out of a marriage than that!
Not that I want to mentally scar you for life, but old farts still have active sex lives you know. And as I won't be having kids, most likely, I probably view marriage more as being committed to my best friend for life and having him make that same commitment to me. Or for as long as we were happy together, whichever came first. But I totally agree that a happy, healthy, stable marriage is what I would want to have to provide a stable environment for my children. Um, are you expecting to get so old that you are tired of sex? I don't know, I think I aspire to a higher mental and emotional connection with someone. And that if I don't achieve that in my life, that's ok, my life will still be full and happy, but I would like to have that, try that one on for size, regardless of whether sex was always on the table or not.

And I agree about your second point. Although I have met people in their 40's and beyond who maintain a single life with selected sexual partners over time, that are very happy and well adjusted. They just aren't wired to be married or give up sex. I think they're like into serial monogomy.

Lately I've had the unfortunate experience of spending time around newly divorced folk in their late 30's, early 40's who are on the prowl, looking for new opportunities to mix. Some of the behaviours have been quite disturbing to watch. :eek: And it's bloody sad to see.

Ahnimus wrote:

For example, many men would say women are worse drivers because they try to multi-task, chatting on their phones, doing their make-up, etc.. Meanwhile, women will say men are worse drivers because their testosterone and macho mentality. The insurance companies using their accuators will tell you that women are statistically better drivers. However, I've never caused an accident, I've been in several, one that almost took my life as a child and within all my power, I will not do that to someone else. I don't talk on my cell-phone while driving, I mostly ignore my passengers, my focus is on the road and I obey every law of the road. Both of those stereotypes are wrong, it comes down to the individual.

So you're saying you choose, through your own freewill, to not fit into a stereotype and be an individual? :D;)

NMyTree wrote:

So you're saying you choose, through your own freewill, to not fit into a stereotype and be an individual? :D;)

Not at all, in-fact, I stated the causes for my behavior. I'm referring to rational deliberation.

free-will
freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention

Ahnimus wrote:

I don't love god :P

I wasn't talking to you

Happy Friday, Ahnimus!

time to ctrl-alt-del the cranium and load in the weekend program...

I had a shitter of a day today. I'm tired, hungry, and far too sober. Ouch!

Jeanie wrote:

Well I guess that's cool ss. You've obviously had a think about it and that's what suits you.
I don't see anything wrong with one night stands.
I'm not saying that it's a way of life that should be embraced as the way to go for ever for an individual, but I think that some people, at points in their life, are ruled by their hormones, or urges and that's ok. When you know better you do better. People get lonely, and they crave physical connection. I don't think wasting time trying to make a relationship out of an attraction or missing out is always the best option. If you wanna have meaningless sex, sure go for it. If you don't that's cool too. Obviously all owner onus applies.

i agree jeanie. just like cookies, one night stands are sometimes food.

Jeanie

I think this was the thread, you said that statistics showed men are the cause of more domestic violence. I didn't have time to respond right away, but here it is, from statistics Canada.

statistics canada wrote:

Five-year rates of spousal violence
The results of the 1999 General Social Survey (GSS)
suggest that violence in marriages and common-law
unions is a reality that many women and men face. In
Canada, it is estimated that 7% of people who were
married or living in a common-law relationship during
the past 5 years experienced some type of violence by
their intimate partners. The 5-year rate of violence was
similar for women and men (8% and 7%, respectively)1
(Figure 2.1). Overall, this amounts to approximately
690,000 women and 549,000 men who had a current or
former partner and reported experiencing at least one
incident of violence.

http://www.statcan.ca/english/freepub/85-224-XIE/0000085-224-XIE.pdf

I'm pretty sure this came up in a thread about domestic violence. Still, people don't believe me.