lump on your lymph node? updated: it's cancer.

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Comments

  • megatron
    megatron Posts: 3,420
    hope all turns out to be well.

    you have megatron on your side
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    thanks for all the positive thoughts.... no news today like we thought.
    Most likely tomorrow.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    ok results......

    cancer of the tongue and tonsils..... treatment is radiation and chemo.

    it's worse then we thought... but we're trying to stay on the positive side of things and keep spirits up.

    i feel like I'm in a fog.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Evil Merlin Part Deux
    Evil Merlin Part Deux Posts: 234
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    ok results......

    cancer of the tongue and tonsils..... treatment is radiation and chemo.

    it's worse then we thought... but we're trying to stay on the positive side of things and keep spirits up.

    i feel like I'm in a fog.

    You'll always be in that fog. That's the crappy part about it all. It's like you just sit back and watch and wait and hope for the best but you have absolutely nothing to watch and no true way of knowing. You just get your updates but physically there's nothing you can do. It's painful to be on the outside looking in wanting to do everything and anything in the world, but just can't.

    Best you can do is continue to try to be relaxed and calm and positive as possible, and always bring your happiness frequently when you can and that's when they know they're getting the most out of you. Your presence and love eases a lot.

    Good luck to all of you and you know where to find me if you need to chat. :)
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    ok results......

    cancer of the tongue and tonsils..... treatment is radiation and chemo.

    it's worse then we thought... but we're trying to stay on the positive side of things and keep spirits up.

    i feel like I'm in a fog.

    My thoughts are with you and your mom and dad. :(
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    thanks guys.... the friends I've found here are the best!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    thanks guys.... the friends I've found here are the best!

    ((hugs))
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    thanks guys.... the friends I've found here are the best!

    ((hugs))
    :D thanks :)
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    apparently the Dr thinks the cause may be Agent Orange. :|
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • wnh1977
    wnh1977 Iowa Posts: 650
    Just saw this thread and quickly scrolled through it. Man, what a difficult couple of months! I hope things go well from here on out and he's able to make a good recovery. I'm 32, but I think I would feel like such a infant/child if I had to go on without my Dad. He's 73 now (and smoked for a solid 40 years), so keep hoping that day is a long ways off. I wish your Dad the best!
    1998: 6/26, 6/27, 6/29
    2000: 8/15, 8/18, 10/9, 10/11, 10/12
    2003: 6/18, 6/21, 6/22
    2005: 9/9, 9/28
    2006: 5/16, 5/17, 6/26, 6/27
    2007: 8/5
    2009: 8/23, 8/24
    2010: 5/3, 5/4, 5/21
    2011: 9/3, 9/4, 9/11, 9/12
    2013: 7/19, 11/16
    2014: 10/3, 10/9, 10/12, 10/17
    2016: 4/16, 8/20, 8/22
    2018: 8/18, 8/20, 9/2
    2022: 9/18
    2023: 8/31, 9/2, 9/5
    2024: 5/18, 6/29
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Today he went to talk with a new oncologist and she laid it on the line for him... Threw it all out there and held nothing back. Apparently he hasn't been researching what's going on for him and the shock hit him bad. He just about passed out in the office. He ended up on the floor broke out in a sweat.... And now really isn't talking to anyone.

    They asked him if he wants his feeding tube in now or if he loses 10 more pounds it'll be done as an emergency procedure. They are unable to do pin point radiation and he might be faced with deterioration of the jaw among other issues. I know they have to mention all the bad points but I think for him it was all too much. He's scared and angry. I wish I could make this all better for him. He refuses to tell anyone he works with or his family, he was even mad at my mom for telling her co-workers and her family. Yesterday at father's day dinner my mom mentioned something about it and he flipped out on her saying 'this day is about me being a father not me having cancer'.... He's not an angry guy at all so we were completely taken back.

    I wanna be here for him but it seems he doesn't wanna talk about it, though if I don't say anything I feel like I'm ignoring it and him. I'm at a loss on how to handle all this. And how to comfort my mom is a whole other issue. I kinda wish I had siblings right now so I would have someone to talk to... Being an only child sucks ass at times!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    hey sweetheart--I'm so sorry....he's obviously upset and scared, and just doesn't know what to do. I wouldn't know what to do either. I hope you and your mom can stay strong...the best you can do is just BE there, for everything and especially. He appreciates it, even if he doesn't show it.

    call me anytime--the benefit of living on the opposite coast!
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:
    hey sweetheart--I'm so sorry....he's obviously upset and scared, and just doesn't know what to do. I wouldn't know what to do either. I hope you and your mom can stay strong...the best you can do is just BE there, for everything and especially. He appreciates it, even if he doesn't show it.

    call me anytime--the benefit of living on the opposite coast!
    Thank you.

    I refuse to let this get me down... Simply refuse! After a year plus of feeling sorry for myself over the Marc situation I can't do it anymore (if anything I feel horrible that my parents spent the last year and a half helping me get past that instead of enjoying themselves and now are faced with a hardship of their own). They are remarkable (strange for sure... But remarkable none the less). Christ my Dad stayed here till 2 am the night before the EV shows to try and finish the kitchen floor since you all were visiting :) he woulda stayed all night (he has to get up at 4:30am for work) if I hadn't pushed him out. He's also the same guy who refuse to see the bad in my ex and did everything he could for him up until a few months ago (and the ex can't even call my dad and see how he is doing thru this). After my father in law passed from cancer my dad basically became my mother in law's 'husband' around the house doing anything he could to help her out (even though she has 2 non-handy man sons).

    I don't know what I'm getting at or where I'm going with this... Maybe to say that my dad would do anything for ANYONE.... And I just don't understand why it has to be like this for him. My parents deserve a rest... Some time together... Just a breather even.

    Sorry, like I said I have no one really to talk to about this... So here I am venting on line to strangers. :|
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    One thin I can say for sure: It is NOT fair.

    I always seems to be the people that are the most caring and worthy of health and happiness that get cancer. I don't understand it at all.

    I can imagine that you are all in some form of shock from this. It's so important that you all get the emotional support that you need because it can be very draining on your spirit. I have faith that everything will be okay. But the ride might be a rough one for a while. My Father in law had a feeding tube put in too, although I don't know at what point.

    We're here for you sweetie. Anytime you need to vent or cry or anything.
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • answers are fatal
    answers are fatal Posts: 281
    im always here for you! i love you and everything will be ok. think possitive :) call me if u need to talk tonight or we can videochat it up.
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    answers are fatal wrote:
    im always here for you! i love you and everything will be ok. think possitive :) call me if u need to talk tonight or we can videochat it up.
    what i need from you is for you to work more 8 hr days so you can go with me to concerts to distract me from all this!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    One thin I can say for sure: It is NOT fair.

    I always seems to be the people that are the most caring and worthy of health and happiness that get cancer. I don't understand it at all.

    I can imagine that you are all in some form of shock from this. It's so important that you all get the emotional support that you need because it can be very draining on your spirit. I have faith that everything will be okay. But the ride might be a rough one for a while. My Father in law had a feeding tube put in too, although I don't know at what point.

    We're here for you sweetie. Anytime you need to vent or cry or anything.
    thanks... I appreciate our friendship more then I could tell you :)
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    Sorry to read your latest updates.

    I pray for the best---and I hope your dad is able to get to a place where he can develop a positive attitude to BEAT this. I know it is easier said than done but that really is key. I truly hope he gets there and he gets well.

    Take care.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • Poncier
    Poncier Posts: 17,920
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

    I wanna be here for him but it seems he doesn't wanna talk about it, though if I don't say anything I feel like I'm ignoring it and him. I'm at a loss on how to handle all this.
    He's obviously having a hard time dealing with this (quite understandable), just let him know that you are available to talk/listen/help in any way he needs and then give him some space till he deals with it in his own mind.
    I'm sure he knows how much you care, he just probably can't handle all the info right now, he'll come around.


    Hoping for the best.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    thanks for the good thoughts.

    I texted him last night telling him I love him, didn't hear back from him till this morning... he said "love you too.... please bear wit me" i'm sure it's hard for him to have something out of his control.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"

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