The oncologist told him today that he needs radiation 5 times a week for 7 weeks. He's not thrilled with it and doesn't want to do it. My dad is a homeopathic nut, and it's so hard to convince him to do regular medical procedures :(
I need to work my persuasive tactics on him... And in the mean time he's going to get a 2nd opinion. I'll find out more from them tomorrow.
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
so he's had a PET scan and a CAT scan..... today was the pre-opt for his numerous biopsies he's having (the larynx, esophagus.....etc.) Sometimes I just don't know what to say to them to help keep them positive cause I'm scared myself. I find myself taking any chance I can get to see them (him) even if it means I'm extremely exhausted the next day (they live an hour from me). Some days after I work a 12 hour day I still drive down jut to eat dinner with them. All I can think about is that if he doesn't end up getting better, I'll regret not seeing him every chance I had. :(
*it's his birthday thursday and he doesn't want to celebrate... he says we'll do that when he's better.
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
so he's had a PET scan and a CAT scan..... today was the pre-opt for his numerous biopsies he's having (the larynx, esophagus.....etc.) Sometimes I just don't know what to say to them to help keep them positive cause I'm scared myself. I find myself taking any chance I can get to see them (him) even if it means I'm extremely exhausted the next day (they live an hour from me). Some days after I work a 12 hour day I still drive down jut to eat dinner with them. All I can think about is that if he doesn't end up getting better, I'll regret not seeing him every chance I had. :(
This is a completely different situation than my mother, but I can't help but be saddened by this comment.
Your parents love you, and greatly appreciate any time you can stop by and have dinner, trust me!
Sadly with my mom I hadn't seen her the 2 days prior to her untimely, out of nowhere passing. I live at home for crying out loud!!
I'll never forgive myself for that, but know that I think you are amazingly strong for doing everything you can to be there in these times. And hey, you never know, he very well could have found it early, and will kick its ass, and the cancer will never come back!
so he's had a PET scan and a CAT scan..... today was the pre-opt for his numerous biopsies he's having (the larynx, esophagus.....etc.) Sometimes I just don't know what to say to them to help keep them positive cause I'm scared myself. I find myself taking any chance I can get to see them (him) even if it means I'm extremely exhausted the next day (they live an hour from me). Some days after I work a 12 hour day I still drive down jut to eat dinner with them. All I can think about is that if he doesn't end up getting better, I'll regret not seeing him every chance I had. :(
This is a completely different situation than my mother, but I can't help but be saddened by this comment.
Your parents love you, and greatly appreciate any time you can stop by and have dinner, trust me!
Sadly with my mom I hadn't seen her the 2 days prior to her untimely, out of nowhere passing. I live at home for crying out loud!!
I'll never forgive myself for that, but know that I think you are amazingly strong for doing everything you can to be there in these times. And hey, you never know, he very well could have found it early, and will kick its ass, and the cancer will never come back!
Don't be so hard on yourself....your mom wouldn't want you to not forgive yourself for something so silly. I'm mom to four sons, and there are times I don't see them for weeks and months with them away at college, that is just a normal part of being busy and growing up.
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
so tomorrow morning (monday 6am) is the biopsies.... please keep him in your thoughts.
Even after the good news from the PET scan we're still worried of what they will find.
His throat has begun to hurt him, not sure if that's related to the tumor or the fact that he now KNOWS that there is more too the mass (being more in his throat).
His spirits are up... and he's continued this veggie only diet, but I can see it's worrying him more then he lets on.
As for my mom, she's a mess.... she thinks she's handling it well, but she's a ball of tension which isn't helping my dad deal at all. I'm trying to be there as much as possible to ease the feelings they both have but working 2 jobs now is making the time I can drive the hour to see them a little few and far in between.
I have been applying for new jobs in hopes of making more money(as we all want to) so that I can make it down to see them and help them out as much as they possibly need. Sorry for talking so much, sometimes I don't know where to turn with all of this. Everyone I know has their own issues they are dealing with and I don't wanna burden them.
as for how I'm dealing... I'm in full on avoidance mode. If I ignore the fact that he has cancer and don't think about it then maybe it'll go away (yeah yeah ... i know.... but it's the only way i can deal now). I need to be "strong" for my mom and dad and not be the mess I feel inside as to keep their minds focused when with me. Sometimes when thinking about it... I feel like I can't catch my breath. :?
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
as for how I'm dealing... I'm in full on avoidance mode. If I ignore the fact that he has cancer and don't think about it then maybe it'll go away (yeah yeah ... i know.... but it's the only way i can deal now). I need to be "strong" for my mom and dad and not be the mess I feel inside as to keep their minds focused when with me. Sometimes when thinking about it... I feel like I can't catch my breath. :?
i did/do the same thing....it's the hardest thing i've ever done to try to keep a positive attitude....sometimes i just want to scream...but i know it won't help at all...and you know this too so you are doing your best...hang in there
so tomorrow morning (monday 6am) is the biopsies.... please keep him in your thoughts.
Even after the good news from the PET scan we're still worried of what they will find.
His throat has begun to hurt him, not sure if that's related to the tumor or the fact that he now KNOWS that there is more too the mass (being more in his throat).
His spirits are up... and he's continued this veggie only diet, but I can see it's worrying him more then he lets on.
As for my mom, she's a mess.... she thinks she's handling it well, but she's a ball of tension which isn't helping my dad deal at all. I'm trying to be there as much as possible to ease the feelings they both have but working 2 jobs now is making the time I can drive the hour to see them a little few and far in between.
I have been applying for new jobs in hopes of making more money(as we all want to) so that I can make it down to see them and help them out as much as they possibly need. Sorry for talking so much, sometimes I don't know where to turn with all of this. Everyone I know has their own issues they are dealing with and I don't wanna burden them.
as for how I'm dealing... I'm in full on avoidance mode. If I ignore the fact that he has cancer and don't think about it then maybe it'll go away (yeah yeah ... i know.... but it's the only way i can deal now). I need to be "strong" for my mom and dad and not be the mess I feel inside as to keep their minds focused when with me. Sometimes when thinking about it... I feel like I can't catch my breath. :?
I think you are probably doing really well considering. We all cope in different ways and if you can pick and choose when you think about it thenI think that it pretty good. It when you don't face it at all that it can come back and bite you in the ass.
Yes, everyone has their shit to deal with and so do you. We all need to be there for each other. I know thats what built our friendship, being weak sometimes and being strong other times.
If the PET scan came out good than there's a good chance that the biopsy will too, but I understand your fears. I will keep your dad in my thoughts today.
Don't EVER think that you're burdening anyone with your problems...(especially me). I'm here for you whenever you need me.
I think you are probably doing really well considering. We all cope in different ways and if you can pick and choose when you think about it thenI think that it pretty good. It when you don't face it at all that it can come back and bite you in the ass.
Yes, everyone has their shit to deal with and so do you. We all need to be there for each other. I know thats what built our friendship, being weak sometimes and being strong other times.
If the PET scan came out good than there's a good chance that the biopsy will too, but I understand your fears. I will keep your dad in my thoughts today.
Don't EVER think that you're burdening anyone with your problems...(especially me). I'm here for you whenever you need me.
You're awesome! Thanks... you made me feel all warm and gooey (friendship wise)!
His biopsies were this morning and as far as we know there was nothing unusual..... he's very sore and can't speak now.... but his spirits are up. Hopefully we'll get the results by the end of the week. Thanks for all the good thoughts.....keep em coming!
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
His biopsies were this morning and as far as we know there was nothing unusual..... he's very sore and can't speak now.... but his spirits are up. Hopefully we'll get the results by the end of the week. Thanks for all the good thoughts.....keep em coming!
I always thought your lymph nodes got swollen when you were ill...but I'm no doctor...
Swollen lymph nodes can happen for a million reasons - the lymphatic pathway is like the body's filter mechanism and all sorts of "crud" can get lodged in there along with the antibodies against it. A lymph node is an accumulation of immune cells so it's not unnatural for something to get "stuck" in there as the immune system is trying to eliminate it. If it's swollen - then there are an excess number of lymphocytes accumulating to fight a pathogen. What exactly they are fighting I couldn't tell you but it could be as insignificant as the common cold. The docs will be able to figure the specifics out.
cancer of the tongue and tonsils..... treatment is radiation and chemo.
it's worse then we thought... but we're trying to stay on the positive side of things and keep spirits up.
i feel like I'm in a fog.
You'll always be in that fog. That's the crappy part about it all. It's like you just sit back and watch and wait and hope for the best but you have absolutely nothing to watch and no true way of knowing. You just get your updates but physically there's nothing you can do. It's painful to be on the outside looking in wanting to do everything and anything in the world, but just can't.
Best you can do is continue to try to be relaxed and calm and positive as possible, and always bring your happiness frequently when you can and that's when they know they're getting the most out of you. Your presence and love eases a lot.
Good luck to all of you and you know where to find me if you need to chat.
Just saw this thread and quickly scrolled through it. Man, what a difficult couple of months! I hope things go well from here on out and he's able to make a good recovery. I'm 32, but I think I would feel like such a infant/child if I had to go on without my Dad. He's 73 now (and smoked for a solid 40 years), so keep hoping that day is a long ways off. I wish your Dad the best!
Comments
The oncologist told him today that he needs radiation 5 times a week for 7 weeks. He's not thrilled with it and doesn't want to do it. My dad is a homeopathic nut, and it's so hard to convince him to do regular medical procedures :(
I need to work my persuasive tactics on him... And in the mean time he's going to get a 2nd opinion. I'll find out more from them tomorrow.
((((((((((((((((((((((( love & hugs )))))))))))))))))))))))))
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
Best wishes to your dad and you and family.
*it's his birthday thursday and he doesn't want to celebrate... he says we'll do that when he's better.
This is a completely different situation than my mother, but I can't help but be saddened by this comment.
Your parents love you, and greatly appreciate any time you can stop by and have dinner, trust me!
Sadly with my mom I hadn't seen her the 2 days prior to her untimely, out of nowhere passing. I live at home for crying out loud!!
I'll never forgive myself for that, but know that I think you are amazingly strong for doing everything you can to be there in these times. And hey, you never know, he very well could have found it early, and will kick its ass, and the cancer will never come back!
He's still getting the series of biopsies on Monday... But this is a bit of tension relieved!
That's good news!! I truly hope for a quick and easy treatment for him.
(And your avatar is creeping me out
Don't be so hard on yourself....your mom wouldn't want you to not forgive yourself for something so silly. I'm mom to four sons, and there are times I don't see them for weeks and months with them away at college, that is just a normal part of being busy and growing up.
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Even after the good news from the PET scan we're still worried of what they will find.
His throat has begun to hurt him, not sure if that's related to the tumor or the fact that he now KNOWS that there is more too the mass (being more in his throat).
His spirits are up... and he's continued this veggie only diet, but I can see it's worrying him more then he lets on.
As for my mom, she's a mess.... she thinks she's handling it well, but she's a ball of tension which isn't helping my dad deal at all. I'm trying to be there as much as possible to ease the feelings they both have but working 2 jobs now is making the time I can drive the hour to see them a little few and far in between.
I have been applying for new jobs in hopes of making more money(as we all want to) so that I can make it down to see them and help them out as much as they possibly need. Sorry for talking so much, sometimes I don't know where to turn with all of this. Everyone I know has their own issues they are dealing with and I don't wanna burden them.
as for how I'm dealing... I'm in full on avoidance mode. If I ignore the fact that he has cancer and don't think about it then maybe it'll go away (yeah yeah ... i know.... but it's the only way i can deal now). I need to be "strong" for my mom and dad and not be the mess I feel inside as to keep their minds focused when with me. Sometimes when thinking about it... I feel like I can't catch my breath. :?
i did/do the same thing....it's the hardest thing i've ever done to try to keep a positive attitude....sometimes i just want to scream...but i know it won't help at all...and you know this too so you are doing your best...hang in there
I think you are probably doing really well considering. We all cope in different ways and if you can pick and choose when you think about it thenI think that it pretty good. It when you don't face it at all that it can come back and bite you in the ass.
Yes, everyone has their shit to deal with and so do you. We all need to be there for each other. I know thats what built our friendship, being weak sometimes and being strong other times.
If the PET scan came out good than there's a good chance that the biopsy will too, but I understand your fears. I will keep your dad in my thoughts today.
Don't EVER think that you're burdening anyone with your problems...(especially me). I'm here for you whenever you need me.
His biopsies were this morning and as far as we know there was nothing unusual..... he's very sore and can't speak now.... but his spirits are up. Hopefully we'll get the results by the end of the week. Thanks for all the good thoughts.....keep em coming!
glad things are going ok :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
WOW u just blew my mind
my fingers are crossed for good news (as good as it can be, anyway)
ps - nice avatar Cinnamon Girl
you have megatron on your side
Most likely tomorrow.
cancer of the tongue and tonsils..... treatment is radiation and chemo.
it's worse then we thought... but we're trying to stay on the positive side of things and keep spirits up.
i feel like I'm in a fog.
You'll always be in that fog. That's the crappy part about it all. It's like you just sit back and watch and wait and hope for the best but you have absolutely nothing to watch and no true way of knowing. You just get your updates but physically there's nothing you can do. It's painful to be on the outside looking in wanting to do everything and anything in the world, but just can't.
Best you can do is continue to try to be relaxed and calm and positive as possible, and always bring your happiness frequently when you can and that's when they know they're getting the most out of you. Your presence and love eases a lot.
Good luck to all of you and you know where to find me if you need to chat.
My thoughts are with you and your mom and dad. :(
((hugs))
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