stupid question

13567

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  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    saveuplife wrote:
    Depends on the guy. I kind of agree from my personal vantage point... but, some guys are shy. I could see one or two of my friends being like this.
    I agree. It totally depends on the guy. I'm drawn to shy guys...and I've had not trouble finding them.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    failedpersephone wrote:
    why did you wait so long to email him?

    now that you are going to email him - you should just keep it simple, and don't be disappointed if he doesnt respond (I would say within 2 business days)

    I was in montreal at the EV shows until last night.

    but yeah I'm looking at 2-3 sentences tops and I don't think I will be disappointed. my assumption is he won't respond. I just want the experience.
  • Comatose11
    Comatose11 Posts: 77
    I think the most important question is: Is he a Pearl Jam Fan?
    I'll end up alone like I began...
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    catefrances wrote:
    oh for fucks sake... you people shit me to tears. if you want to see him, tell him for fucks sake.

    you know i aint even gonna apologise for my tersenesss. i am so tired of the vascillating that goes on when it comes to people and how they feel about someone else and the umming and aahing about whether or not they should tell the other person what the fuck have you got to lose?. all we have is NOW. just act, dont think.

    haven't even read the rest of the thread....brilliant as always cate! :)

    if you're interested, email him...if not move on....he gave you his card so you must have made somewhat of a good impression
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    Comatose11 wrote:
    I think the most important question is: Is he a Pearl Jam Fan?

    Actually, yes! Not like a big one, but he did go to at least one of the mansfield shows and he said he loves theit music. (the girl I was with was finding it necessary to tell everyone in the bar I've been to 20 PJ shows).
  • Comatose11
    Comatose11 Posts: 77
    CityMouse wrote:
    Actually, yes! Not like a big one, but he did go to at least one of the mansfield shows and he said he loves theit music. (the girl I was with was finding it necessary to tell everyone in the bar I've been to 20 PJ shows).

    Then you should just ask him to marry you.
    I'll end up alone like I began...
  • Comatose11
    Comatose11 Posts: 77
    And if it doesn't work, I'll marry you.
    I'll end up alone like I began...
  • saveuplife
    saveuplife Posts: 1,173
    CityMouse wrote:
    so my friend said I should mention grabbing a drink some night next week, but I'm at this stupid-ass conference all next week. So is mentioning grabbing lunch over the weekend a no-no?


    Do not ask him out on a lunch date! I repeat, do not ask him out on a lunch date!


    Booze is not involved in lunch. Booze calms people down in anxious environments. Do not ask him out on a lunch date, especially if he's shy.
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    saveuplife wrote:
    Do not ask him out on a lunch date! I repeat, do not ask him out on a lunch date!


    Booze is not involved in lunch. Booze calms people down in anxious environments. Do not ask him out on a lunch date, especially if he's shy.

    ok...but what the hell am I supposed to do then? I can't say "sometime" because that's not specific enough (I've read you shouldn't do that) but I can't ask someone out for a weekend, and I'm out next tuesday through saturday!

    ugh...maybe there's a reason I've never done this before.
  • riffrandall
    riffrandall Posts: 685
    CityMouse wrote:
    ok...but what the hell am I supposed to do then? I can't say "sometime" because that's not specific enough (I've read you shouldn't do that) but I can't ask someone out for a weekend, and I'm out next tuesday through saturday!

    ugh...maybe there's a reason I've never done this before.

    Honey :)
    There's a reason girls don't do this. It disrupts the natural order of things.

    This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
    Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
    If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
    If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.
    "If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    ask him for drinks on friday....say your meeting friends later for dinner but you would like to grab a drink with him beforehand....that way, if things don't work out you have an out and if things are going well you can tell him you're blowing off your friends :)
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    riffrandall wrote:
    Honey :)
    There's a reason girls don't do this. It disrupts the natural order of things.

    This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
    Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
    If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
    If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.

    I've never heard this about boston that guys do the asking.
    who knows maybe he just moved here from california :).

    Also...has anyone in this thread actually done this before? because all my friends will give me advice on this too, but when I think about it, they've never asked anyone out or been asked out either, they all just fall into relationships.
  • nfanel
    nfanel Posts: 2,558
    riffrandall wrote:
    This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
    Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
    If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
    If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.
    yes, that does sound old fashioned....and silly. if you're interested in someone, ask them out. don't know until you try. (as people have already mentioned...) as for specifics on what to say....lots of good suggestions already given in here....
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    CityMouse wrote:
    I've never heard this about boston that guys do the asking.
    who knows maybe he just moved here from california :).

    Also...has anyone in this thread actually done this before? because all my friends will give me advice on this too, but when I think about it, they've never asked anyone out or been asked out either, they all just fall into relationships.
    Woah...I felt a dig from that other poster about Cal... :D


    I have asked someone out before. I didn't meet them at a bar (it was a coffeehouse) and he gave me his number & his email because I dont give my number out. ever. even if I am interested. (it's this thing I have)

    I waited 2 days and I called him - left a message something like "HI this is (name) we met at (coffee house) a few days ago - I came across your number in my bag and thought i would give you a call...talk to you soon!"

    (note that I didn't give him my number. - I have been razzed about that. but seriously it made him answer the next time I called (a day later)

    I didn't email him - because I figured do the phone thing first...

    I would expect that an email would be equally easy.

    Of course, I am in California - so dunno how email/phones work in Boston :p

    hahahaha good luck Cmouse!
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • pearljamjen
    pearljamjen Posts: 13,578
    riffrandall wrote:
    Honey :)
    There's a reason girls don't do this. It disrupts the natural order of things.

    This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
    Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
    If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
    If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.


    HELLO 1950s! :eek:
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Woah...I felt a dig from that other poster about Cal... :D


    i love being called a freak....makes me laugh at how insecure people can be :)
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    crap. I figured out what I'm going to write (it's extremely similar to the message failedpersephone left), but now I need someone with a hot poker to actually get me to do it.
  • riffrandall
    riffrandall Posts: 685
    failedpersephone wrote:
    Woah...I felt a dig from that other poster about Cal... :D


    I have asked someone out before. I didn't meet them at a bar (it was a coffeehouse) and he gave me his number & his email because I dont give my number out. ever. even if I am interested. (it's this thing I have)

    I waited 2 days and I called him - left a message something like "HI this is (name) we met at (coffee house) a few days ago - I came across your number in my bag and thought i would give you a call...talk to you soon!"

    (note that I didn't give him my number. - I have been razzed about that. but seriously it made him answer the next time I called (a day later)

    I didn't email him - because I figured do the phone thing first...

    I would expect that an email would be equally easy.

    Of course, I am in California - so dunno how email/phones work in Boston :p

    hahahaha good luck Cmouse!

    Ha! I'm the one who said that about Cali guys. What I meant was California is the only place I've ever lived where guys got queer about not being called by a girl. Like they actually got offended by it. I had one stalker in my life & it was in California. So I'm biased. :)

    Boston dudes are way different. They have this sense of entitlement that girls are falling all over them & they give the idea that they want to be chased, but it's bullshit. If I know my city- and I think I know it pretty well- this guy hands out business cards to every girl who says hi to him, waits for an email and then forwards it to his buddies and tries to fit "sleeping with this chick before I never call her again" in between "Pats home opener tailgate."

    THAT'S why in this city you have to let them come to you.
    "If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
  • pearljamjen
    pearljamjen Posts: 13,578
    cutback wrote:
    i love being called a freak....makes me laugh at how insecure people can be :)

    Maybe they meant Californians are freaks in bed ;)...in which case that's true! :p;)
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    pearljamjen wrote:
    Maybe they meant Californians are freaks in bed ;)...in which case that's true! :p;)


    hehehehe :D:D

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