Guys can be shy too. I'd hate to see you both miss oout on an opportunity just because you are both afraid to call.
What's the worst that could happen?
well that's sort of why I asked if people would bother responding to reject someone. I was thinking that I can send the email and I'll never hear anything again. but then I thought, shit, what if he finds it necessary to respond and says something mean? I know that's also not a very bad thing to have happen, but I'm hoping that he just ignores me.
Guys can be shy too. I'd hate to see you both miss oout on an opportunity just because you are both afraid to call.
What's the worst that could happen?
Beat me to it. He did not have to give you the card. What do you have to lose. At worst, he blows you off and you are at the same place you were at from the beginning, but you have gotten a valuable lesson in not giving up.
As a guy, I like women who are aggressive (My wife of 10 years for example). She told me we were going on a date.
id rather be stabbed through the heart than die wondering.
There's really no need to wonder. Pretty cut and dried.
Not trying to be harsh, just telling it like it is.
Guys are not shy when they like you. If a guy is interested, he asks for your number, and then he calls.
I've never- and I mean NEVER- had it work out where I called or emailed a guy first.
Guys who hand out their business cards are bullshit. Move on.
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
There's really no need to wonder. Pretty cut and dried.
Not trying to be harsh, just telling it like it is.
Guys are not shy when they like you. If a guy is interested, he asks for your number, and then he calls.
I've never- and I mean NEVER- had it work out where I called or emailed a guy first.
Guys who hand out their business cards are bullshit. Move on.
Depends on the guy. I kind of agree from my personal vantage point... but, some guys are shy. I could see one or two of my friends being like this.
There's really no need to wonder. Pretty cut and dried.
Not trying to be harsh, just telling it like it is.
Guys are not shy when they like you. If a guy is interested, he asks for your number, and then he calls.
I've never- and I mean NEVER- had it work out where I called or emailed a guy first.
Guys who hand out their business cards are bullshit. Move on.
well good for you but some of us require definite endings. for our own piece of mind, you know. it deosnt matter of its a no or a yes, some of us just need to know to be able to close the circle and move the fuck on.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
now that you are going to email him - you should just keep it simple, and don't be disappointed if he doesnt respond (I would say within 2 business days)
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
well good for you but some of us require definite endings. for our own piece of mind, you know. it deosnt matter of its a no or a yes, some of us just need to know to be able to close the circle and move the fuck on.
yeah I don't really care what the outcome is, I just want to do it because I've never really asked anyone out before, and I don't want to seem to too lame in the process.
so my friend said I should mention grabbing a drink some night next week, but I'm at this stupid-ass conference all next week. So is mentioning grabbing lunch over the weekend a no-no?
now that you are going to email him - you should just keep it simple, and don't be disappointed if he doesnt respond (I would say within 2 business days)
I was in montreal at the EV shows until last night.
but yeah I'm looking at 2-3 sentences tops and I don't think I will be disappointed. my assumption is he won't respond. I just want the experience.
oh for fucks sake... you people shit me to tears. if you want to see him, tell him for fucks sake.
you know i aint even gonna apologise for my tersenesss. i am so tired of the vascillating that goes on when it comes to people and how they feel about someone else and the umming and aahing about whether or not they should tell the other person what the fuck have you got to lose?. all we have is NOW. just act, dont think.
haven't even read the rest of the thread....brilliant as always cate!
if you're interested, email him...if not move on....he gave you his card so you must have made somewhat of a good impression
I think the most important question is: Is he a Pearl Jam Fan?
Actually, yes! Not like a big one, but he did go to at least one of the mansfield shows and he said he loves theit music. (the girl I was with was finding it necessary to tell everyone in the bar I've been to 20 PJ shows).
Actually, yes! Not like a big one, but he did go to at least one of the mansfield shows and he said he loves theit music. (the girl I was with was finding it necessary to tell everyone in the bar I've been to 20 PJ shows).
so my friend said I should mention grabbing a drink some night next week, but I'm at this stupid-ass conference all next week. So is mentioning grabbing lunch over the weekend a no-no?
Do not ask him out on a lunch date! I repeat, do not ask him out on a lunch date!
Booze is not involved in lunch. Booze calms people down in anxious environments. Do not ask him out on a lunch date, especially if he's shy.
Do not ask him out on a lunch date! I repeat, do not ask him out on a lunch date!
Booze is not involved in lunch. Booze calms people down in anxious environments. Do not ask him out on a lunch date, especially if he's shy.
ok...but what the hell am I supposed to do then? I can't say "sometime" because that's not specific enough (I've read you shouldn't do that) but I can't ask someone out for a weekend, and I'm out next tuesday through saturday!
ugh...maybe there's a reason I've never done this before.
ok...but what the hell am I supposed to do then? I can't say "sometime" because that's not specific enough (I've read you shouldn't do that) but I can't ask someone out for a weekend, and I'm out next tuesday through saturday!
ugh...maybe there's a reason I've never done this before.
Honey
There's a reason girls don't do this. It disrupts the natural order of things.
This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
ask him for drinks on friday....say your meeting friends later for dinner but you would like to grab a drink with him beforehand....that way, if things don't work out you have an out and if things are going well you can tell him you're blowing off your friends
Honey
There's a reason girls don't do this. It disrupts the natural order of things.
This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.
I've never heard this about boston that guys do the asking.
who knows maybe he just moved here from california .
Also...has anyone in this thread actually done this before? because all my friends will give me advice on this too, but when I think about it, they've never asked anyone out or been asked out either, they all just fall into relationships.
This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.
yes, that does sound old fashioned....and silly. if you're interested in someone, ask them out. don't know until you try. (as people have already mentioned...) as for specifics on what to say....lots of good suggestions already given in here....
I've never heard this about boston that guys do the asking.
who knows maybe he just moved here from california .
Also...has anyone in this thread actually done this before? because all my friends will give me advice on this too, but when I think about it, they've never asked anyone out or been asked out either, they all just fall into relationships.
Woah...I felt a dig from that other poster about Cal...
I have asked someone out before. I didn't meet them at a bar (it was a coffeehouse) and he gave me his number & his email because I dont give my number out. ever. even if I am interested. (it's this thing I have)
I waited 2 days and I called him - left a message something like "HI this is (name) we met at (coffee house) a few days ago - I came across your number in my bag and thought i would give you a call...talk to you soon!"
(note that I didn't give him my number. - I have been razzed about that. but seriously it made him answer the next time I called (a day later)
I didn't email him - because I figured do the phone thing first...
I would expect that an email would be equally easy.
Of course, I am in California - so dunno how email/phones work in Boston
hahahaha good luck Cmouse!
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
Honey
There's a reason girls don't do this. It disrupts the natural order of things.
This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.
crap. I figured out what I'm going to write (it's extremely similar to the message failedpersephone left), but now I need someone with a hot poker to actually get me to do it.
Woah...I felt a dig from that other poster about Cal...
I have asked someone out before. I didn't meet them at a bar (it was a coffeehouse) and he gave me his number & his email because I dont give my number out. ever. even if I am interested. (it's this thing I have)
I waited 2 days and I called him - left a message something like "HI this is (name) we met at (coffee house) a few days ago - I came across your number in my bag and thought i would give you a call...talk to you soon!"
(note that I didn't give him my number. - I have been razzed about that. but seriously it made him answer the next time I called (a day later)
I didn't email him - because I figured do the phone thing first...
I would expect that an email would be equally easy.
Of course, I am in California - so dunno how email/phones work in Boston
hahahaha good luck Cmouse!
Ha! I'm the one who said that about Cali guys. What I meant was California is the only place I've ever lived where guys got queer about not being called by a girl. Like they actually got offended by it. I had one stalker in my life & it was in California. So I'm biased.
Boston dudes are way different. They have this sense of entitlement that girls are falling all over them & they give the idea that they want to be chased, but it's bullshit. If I know my city- and I think I know it pretty well- this guy hands out business cards to every girl who says hi to him, waits for an email and then forwards it to his buddies and tries to fit "sleeping with this chick before I never call her again" in between "Pats home opener tailgate."
THAT'S why in this city you have to let them come to you.
"If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
Comments
well that's sort of why I asked if people would bother responding to reject someone. I was thinking that I can send the email and I'll never hear anything again. but then I thought, shit, what if he finds it necessary to respond and says something mean? I know that's also not a very bad thing to have happen, but I'm hoping that he just ignores me.
As a guy, I like women who are aggressive (My wife of 10 years for example). She told me we were going on a date.
id rather be stabbed through the heart than die wondering.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
There's really no need to wonder. Pretty cut and dried.
Not trying to be harsh, just telling it like it is.
Guys are not shy when they like you. If a guy is interested, he asks for your number, and then he calls.
I've never- and I mean NEVER- had it work out where I called or emailed a guy first.
Guys who hand out their business cards are bullshit. Move on.
Depends on the guy. I kind of agree from my personal vantage point... but, some guys are shy. I could see one or two of my friends being like this.
well good for you but some of us require definite endings. for our own piece of mind, you know. it deosnt matter of its a no or a yes, some of us just need to know to be able to close the circle and move the fuck on.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
now that you are going to email him - you should just keep it simple, and don't be disappointed if he doesnt respond (I would say within 2 business days)
yeah I don't really care what the outcome is, I just want to do it because I've never really asked anyone out before, and I don't want to seem to too lame in the process.
I was in montreal at the EV shows until last night.
but yeah I'm looking at 2-3 sentences tops and I don't think I will be disappointed. my assumption is he won't respond. I just want the experience.
haven't even read the rest of the thread....brilliant as always cate!
if you're interested, email him...if not move on....he gave you his card so you must have made somewhat of a good impression
Actually, yes! Not like a big one, but he did go to at least one of the mansfield shows and he said he loves theit music. (the girl I was with was finding it necessary to tell everyone in the bar I've been to 20 PJ shows).
Then you should just ask him to marry you.
Do not ask him out on a lunch date! I repeat, do not ask him out on a lunch date!
Booze is not involved in lunch. Booze calms people down in anxious environments. Do not ask him out on a lunch date, especially if he's shy.
ok...but what the hell am I supposed to do then? I can't say "sometime" because that's not specific enough (I've read you shouldn't do that) but I can't ask someone out for a weekend, and I'm out next tuesday through saturday!
ugh...maybe there's a reason I've never done this before.
Honey
There's a reason girls don't do this. It disrupts the natural order of things.
This is BOSTON. Not California where guys do things differently (i.e., expect you to call & are more freakish in general).
Here guys do the asking. Sorry- may sound old fashioned, but that's how it works.
If you must email him, say hey it was good to meet you, just found your card, wondered if it belonged to the devastatingly handsome dude I met the other night.. and leave it at that.
If he wants to ask you out he will do so pretty much immediately.
I've never heard this about boston that guys do the asking.
who knows maybe he just moved here from california
Also...has anyone in this thread actually done this before? because all my friends will give me advice on this too, but when I think about it, they've never asked anyone out or been asked out either, they all just fall into relationships.
I have asked someone out before. I didn't meet them at a bar (it was a coffeehouse) and he gave me his number & his email because I dont give my number out. ever. even if I am interested. (it's this thing I have)
I waited 2 days and I called him - left a message something like "HI this is (name) we met at (coffee house) a few days ago - I came across your number in my bag and thought i would give you a call...talk to you soon!"
(note that I didn't give him my number. - I have been razzed about that. but seriously it made him answer the next time I called (a day later)
I didn't email him - because I figured do the phone thing first...
I would expect that an email would be equally easy.
Of course, I am in California - so dunno how email/phones work in Boston
hahahaha good luck Cmouse!
HELLO 1950s! :eek:
i love being called a freak....makes me laugh at how insecure people can be
Ha! I'm the one who said that about Cali guys. What I meant was California is the only place I've ever lived where guys got queer about not being called by a girl. Like they actually got offended by it. I had one stalker in my life & it was in California. So I'm biased.
Boston dudes are way different. They have this sense of entitlement that girls are falling all over them & they give the idea that they want to be chased, but it's bullshit. If I know my city- and I think I know it pretty well- this guy hands out business cards to every girl who says hi to him, waits for an email and then forwards it to his buddies and tries to fit "sleeping with this chick before I never call her again" in between "Pats home opener tailgate."
THAT'S why in this city you have to let them come to you.
Maybe they meant Californians are freaks in bed
hehehehe