What did you do with your kids? :o

harmless_little_f***

Get_Right wrote:

my boy had a problem with hitting and kicking

I'm not surprised. Look where he got it from.

Everyone knows fighting fire with fire doesn't work.

failedpersephone

dunkman wrote:

i got 2... both never been spanked nor will they be.


both are awesome and solve world hunger in their spare time.

unless in their future...*FWAP*

:eek: what??? oh GROSS!!!

(sorry but i kinda had to it's some sort of weird posting rule. rule 234 b states quite clearly that when Dunkman makes a statement about spanking - no matter how innocently someone had to give a bit of nipple pinch/spanky action in a post...it's not me, Dunkman, dude it's this system of rules.)

and now back to something completely different: the topic on hand - which is NOT spanking actually - it's MCKB's little kid who doesn't like to hear NO when he goes for the rubbish bin...:D

Ahnimus

No age is too young to start conditioning your child.

I wouldn't recommend using something good as punishment. Actually, I wouldn't suggest punishment, per se. You just want to use a suppression mechanism. I suppose you could call that punishment, but don't do it with malice. Just be firm.

Statistically, the following Authoritative type of parenting produces the best results.

This is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialogue about those rules and behaviors, and a child-centered approach characterized by warm, positive affect. Authoritative parents encourage the child to be independent. Authoritative parents are not usually controlling allowing the child to explore more freely.[2] Authoritative parents are strict, demands obedience, but when punishing a child, the parent will always explain his or her motive for their punishment.[3] The resulting children have a higher self esteem, are independent, and happy. Children who are subject to this kind of parenting may debate with their parents and may form their own seemingly logical opinions in order to justify their disobedience.

MattCameronKicksButt

failedpersephone wrote:

unless in their future...*FWAP*
what??? oh GROSS!!!

(sorry but i kinda had to it's some sort of weird posting rule. rule 234 b states quite clearly that when Dunkman makes a statement about spanking - no matter how innocently someone had to give a bit of nipple pinch/spanky action in a post...it's not me, Dunkman, dude it's this system of rules.)

and now back to something completely different: the topic on hand - which is NOT spanking actually - it's MCKB's little kid who doesn't like to hear NO when he goes for the rubbish bin...:D

Carry on... don't mind me... I'm just the thread starter... :mad:

TrixieCat

Get_Right wrote:

I knew youd chime in on that

Im talking about younger ages, when they still dont quite understand
like 1.5-2

Now I can talk to my boy, but not a year ago
His physical abilities advanced much much faster than his language

Have I become that predictable to you....sigh
You said the romance would never go away.

failedpersephone

Ahnimus wrote:

No age is too young to start conditioning your child.

I wouldn't recommend using something good as punishment. Actually, I wouldn't suggest punishment, per se. You just want to use a suppression mechanism. I suppose you could call that punishment, but don't do it with malice. Just be firm.

Statistically, the following Authoritative type of parenting produces the best results.

This is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialogue about those rules and behaviors, and a child-centered approach characterized by warm, positive affect. Authoritative parents encourage the child to be independent. Authoritative parents are not usually controlling allowing the child to explore more freely.[2] Authoritative parents are strict, demands obedience, but when punishing a child, the parent will always explain his or her motive for their punishment.[3] The resulting children have a higher self esteem, are independent, and happy. Children who are subject to this kind of parenting may debate with their parents and may form their own seemingly logical opinions in order to justify their disobedience.

I posted somethin like that only wiffout the textbook...:p

you might want to post the definitions for the permissive types and the Authoritative types since the second one was referenced and the first would be a good comparison basis.

failedpersephone

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Carry on... don't mind me... I'm just the thread starter... :mad:

awww princess flower lotus blossom of lovuleyness! ¿Qué quieres?

I wanted to return back to the topic - and that is your kid...btw how is the bin/no vortex of stubborn doin???

keep at it - tiresome and seemingly futile the payoff is a kid that can and will respond to your statements and trust your decisions and judgments...besides when you "divert" hi and join him in a play/game/experience he will like that better than trying for soggy bits from the bin!!

GOOD LUCK Sweets!
(I totally got your sarcasm there too - so I wasnt offended, I just wanted to do a little pandering..i am in such a fwunky fwunky floooopth mood! )

Ahnimus

failedpersephone wrote:

I posted somethin like that only wiffout the textbook...:p

you might want to post the definitions for the permissive types and the Authoritative types since the second one was referenced and the first would be a good comparison basis.

Good idea.

Authoritarian
This style is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions. Authoritarian parents expect much of their child but do not explain the rules at all, unlike the Authoritative parent.[4] Authoritarian parents are most likely to hit a child as a form of punishment instead of grounding a child.[5] The resulting children from this type of parenting lack social competence as the parent generally predicts what the child should do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself.[6] The children also rarely take initiatives. They are socially withdrawn and look to others to decide what's right. These children lack spontaneity and lack curiosity.[7]

Permissive
This parenting style is a warm,but lax pattern of parenting in which adults make relatively few demands and permit their children to freely express their feelings and impulses. Few rules;few demands They do not closely monitor their children's activity and rarely exert firm control over their behavior. Usually non-punitive. These children tend to be more selfish, impulsive, insecure and low achievers. They tend to lack in social responsibility.[citation needed]

Neglectful
Neglectful parenting, also known as neglectful or nonconformist parenting, is similar to permissive parenting but the parent does not care much about the child. The parents are generally not involved in their child's life, but will provide basic needs for the child.[8]

This is from wikipedia. It's on target, though I'm positive Diana Baumrind only had three classifications with Permissive and Neglectful being the same category. I do like this new distinction though.

Get_Right

redrock wrote:

No then remove the child from the 'temptation'. If need be, time out wherever one chooses.

remove the hands and feet? Im am sorry but you seem to have not read the entire discussion

redrock wrote:

You are underestimating the intelligence and acumen of young children.

I am not underestimating the intelligence of my child at the developmental stage I was discussing

redrock wrote:

Children are more or less fluent by age 2. I know some more than others but nevertheless fluent.

wrong again and slower for boys. In my paricular case, my son speaks two languages, so, the development is taking a bit longer.

We are not talking about spanking
You idealists have never dealt with a an active boy, that much is clear.

Get_Right

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

I'm not surprised. Look where he got it from.

Everyone knows fighting fire with fire doesn't work.

the hitting and kicking came way before-c'mon people-read what Im saying instead of generalizing

and the light slap on the wrist or the feet (certainlly not to the point of crying), or holding him down so he couldnt kick WHILE SPEAKING CLEARLY worked perfectly

and this was well before he was FLUENT

I believe our resident expert even confirmed this as an effective method

A few too many idealists. You know its like being vegetarian, there are many different levels. Its not an all or none rule.

Im sure none of you had to use a little physical restraint to hold them still while changing a diaper or trying to get them dressed.

Ahnimus

Get_Right wrote:

the hitting and kicking came way before-c'mon people-read what Im saying instead of generalizing

and the light slap on the wrist or the feet (certainlly not to the point of crying), or holding him down so he couldnt kick WHILE SPEAKING CLEARLY worked perfectly

and this was well before he was FLUENT

I believe our resident expert even confirmed this as an effective method

A few too many idealists. You know its like being vegetarian, there are many different levels. Its not an all or none rule.

Im sure none of you had to use a little physical restraint to hold them still while changing a diaper or trying to get them dressed.

Have you ever tried slight emotional withdrawl? It should work if you have a strong bond to begin with. Some physical restraint might be needed very rarely, but if it's everyday you need to reevaluate the situation.

Get_Right

meme wrote:

Hi there

I think if the issue is age, simply removing the child from the occasion of misbehavior is enough. No corporal punishment of any kind necessary.

hello

you cant remove the legs and arms now can you?

Get_Right

Ahnimus wrote:

Have you ever tried slight emotional withdrawl? It should work if you have a strong bond to begin with. Some physical restraint might be needed very rarely, but if it's everyday you need to reevaluate the situation.

we are actually way past all of this, the only reason I even mentioned it
to illustrate that children are individually unique and that each requires its own blend of discipline.

given some of the intolerance, which I was surprised by, I felt compelled to chime in

Ahnimus

Get_Right wrote:

we are actually way past all of this, the only reason I even mentioned it
to illustrate that children are individually unique and that each requires its own blend of discipline.

given some of the intolerance, which I was surprised by, I felt compelled to chime in

That's what makes authoritative parenting successful, it's flexible.

Get_Right

Ahnimus wrote:

That's what makes authoritative parenting successful, it's flexible.

Well Im not sure if you are being sarcastic
but
flexibility is very much the key

xscorcho

i nanny for a 14 month old and she is always into things... what i did with the garbage issue was taught her that things go into the garbage by letting her throw things in there that were trash (which she loves because she likes helping me).. and then i give her praise.... so now she knows things go into the trash and no longer takes things out..... same with the laundry pile.

i wouldnt discipline a child that young for something like that... like others suggested.. removing them from the area works.... get their attention elsewhere.

failedpersephone

Ahnimus wrote:

Good idea.

Authoritarian
This style is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions. Authoritarian parents expect much of their child but do not explain the rules at all, unlike the Authoritative parent.[4] Authoritarian parents are most likely to hit a child as a form of punishment instead of grounding a child.[5] The resulting children from this type of parenting lack social competence as the parent generally predicts what the child should do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself.[6] The children also rarely take initiatives. They are socially withdrawn and look to others to decide what's right. These children lack spontaneity and lack curiosity.[7]

Permissive
This parenting style is a warm,but lax pattern of parenting in which adults make relatively few demands and permit their children to freely express their feelings and impulses. Few rules;few demands They do not closely monitor their children's activity and rarely exert firm control over their behavior. Usually non-punitive. These children tend to be more selfish, impulsive, insecure and low achievers. They tend to lack in social responsibility.[citation needed]

Neglectful
Neglectful parenting, also known as neglectful or nonconformist parenting, is similar to permissive parenting but the parent does not care much about the child. The parents are generally not involved in their child's life, but will provide basic needs for the child.[8]

This is from wikipedia. It's on target, though I'm positive Diana Baumrind only had three classifications with Permissive and Neglectful being the same category. I do like this new distinction though.

I like the distinction as well - since often Permissive parents are simply unable to correct or make adjustments to their child's impulses through normal course of parenting instruction but do not have neglectful tendencies...although it is a bit hard to state the bold section. neglectful as far as uninvolved but the "does not care much about the child" seemed a bit overstated and simplistic (I know it isnt your statements you said it was from Wiki)

Get_Right

failedpersephone wrote:

I like the distinction as well - since often Permissive parents are simply unable to correct or make adjustments to their child's impulses through normal course of parenting instruction but do not have neglectful tendencies...although it is a bit hard to state the bold section. neglectful as far as uninvolved but the "does not care much about the child" seemed a bit overstated and simplistic (I know it isnt your statements you said it was from Wiki)

I dont like the definitions, they make it sound like any method results in dysfunctional children

failedpersephone

Get_Right wrote:

the hitting and kicking came way before-c'mon people-read what Im saying instead of generalizing

and the light slap on the wrist or the feet (certainlly not to the point of crying), or holding him down so he couldnt kick WHILE SPEAKING CLEARLY worked perfectly

and this was well before he was FLUENT

I believe our resident expert even confirmed this as an effective method

A few too many idealists. You know its like being vegetarian, there are many different levels. Its not an all or none rule.

Im sure none of you had to use a little physical restraint to hold them still while changing a diaper or trying to get them dressed.

I concurred with what you were saying earlier - i suggested the few possible choices in addition to allowing for the idea that you were not spanking your child or slapping...you were what would be considered "lightly swatting" a hand, to reinstate your vocalizations regarding their negative behavior - and for a PARENT (not a childcare provider) to do this with VERY LITTLE force will, do the trick often times.

for those people that seemed to think Get_right was smacking or spanking their child for minor rule infractions or the like I humbly suggest that you reread the original statements they made in this thread about what they decided to do when their under 2 year old was kicking and hitting.

as for restraining, there are many types. what I suggested to get_Right (though I knew that their child was past the stage of not being able to simply be "told" regarding hitting) to do light hand restraining it was with only the amount of force to move the child's arm/hand from hitting you or the other person and hold their hitting hands in their lap while all the time reinforcing with your words that they should not hit...just fyi - for a matter of safety I believe that if you needed to restrain your child from running into the street (for example) you may grab their arm and pull them towards you while saying loudly NO...this should give the effect of startling so the child sees the significance of their actions (or touching a hot stove etc..,) that is a "hard emergency grab" and should only be used to show the child the extreme physical danger (and will actually be rather instinctual)

I don't really understand how this thread wavered on the level of assumptions towards get_rights posts, but for whatever reason I hope that clarifies some of the issues...and I also hope that the thread served some service to MCKB

peace y'all...

Ahnimus

Get_Right wrote:

I dont like the definitions, they make it sound like any method results in dysfunctional children

I posted the fourth category a page back Authoritative parenting has promising results.