What did you do with your kids? :o

MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
edited December 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
My son is over a year old now. My partner has always said he's too young for rules but I'm afraid of they way he will grow up if I don't start setting down rules!
My little boy kept pulling rubbish out of the bin. I kept telling him no but everytime I said it, he would start screaming, crying and going bright red in the face with anger. I didn't even shout! After the fifth time, I put him in his bed, just to get the point across but now I'm worried that if I keep doing that, he'll think bed is a bad place and won't want to go to bed!
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  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    naughty step.


    works a treat
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkman wrote:
    naughty step.


    works a treat

    At one year old?
  • Call the "Super Nanny"


    ;)
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  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    At one year old?

    yep... either that or tiny burst of electrocution? :confused:


    you have to get onto his level and tell him no... firmly but fairly, and yes i'd use naughty step... 1 year old = 1 minute and then he'd be calmed down and he'd be bored... anyway, my kids never got in trouble at 1 ;)

    [asbo] good luck though [/asbo]
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • JulienJulien Posts: 2,457
    when my daughter does something she may not do I tell her "no". She looks at me, smiles and then do it again; I say "no" again, a bit louder than thefirst time. She tries again, etc. But after 3 or 4 "no", she knwo she may not do what she was trying to do.
    If, after a few days she tries again to do it, only one "no" is sufficient...
    I think it's never too soon to set down rules.
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  • I agree; don't turn his bed into a "bad" place that he doesn't want to go. And I also agree that now is the time to start making rules. We do "timeout" in the pack n play with Annabelle. There are certain things she knows will send her there now.

    Does he have a pack n play, or something else where you can stick him where he'll stay for a few minutes?
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    a good spanking is in order
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    I agree with dunk... a naughty step, a naughty area, the corner, whatever - but not the bedroom (or the bed). First for the reason you mention. You don't want him thinking that bed means punishment but also, bed and bedroom have toys, etc. So maybe not a bad place to be!

    As dunk said, speak to him at his level, eye contact, etc. 1 is not too young. He's having tantrums when you try to stop him doing his thing. Let him get on with them and ignore him. He'll soon get over it.

    EDIT: And, contrary to what NY PJ1 says, a spanking doesn't resolve anything - au contraire.
  • At one year old?
    Yep!

    I worked with 1-2 year-olds in a daycare and they were put in a time out. Obviously, the younger they are, the shorter the time out (as it only takes a couple of minutes before they forget why they were put there in the first place). We had a bench they had to sit on. We had a particularly difficult one-year-old who would scream and carry-on while she was in the time-out, so she had to sit there longer. Her parents gave in to her temper tantrums at home, but we did not allow that at the day care. Soon, she stopped crying altogether when she was put into a time-out, and the behaviour that put her in a time-out began to decreased. It reached a point where I'd just have to give her a look. I'd catch her mid-arm raise to hit another kid, raise my eyebrow, and she'd put her hand down. It was kind of funny to watch, actually. I'd then praise her for making a good choice. It's all about giving the kids the responsibility of making their own choices.
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  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    a polite 'no thank you' may work. if not, let the beatings begin!!! :D
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  • I'll try a naughty corner. Ignoring wouldn't work because he'd just go back and do it again. Wow! He's turning into a little child!

    (Sorry to start yet another thread about kids, btw).
  • a polite 'no thank you' may work. if not, let the beatings begin!!! :D

    I couldn't smack him. I'd end up upsetting myself more. :D boohoo
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    What the hell is a naughty step? Does this sound like the first step a stripper takes on stage to anyone else? But seriously, what is it. Happy childless guy wants to know!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

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  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    I'll try a naughty corner. Ignoring wouldn't work because he'd just go back and do it again. Wow! He's turning into a little child!

    (Sorry to start yet another thread about kids, btw).

    All 3 of my kids at that age loved to go to the tupperware drawer and start flinging around the bowls and lids. They loved it. Then they learned how to clean up. So all was not lost in this 'activity'.

    As long as the child learns the emphatic 'NO!', then you're doing your job as a parent. The child may not understand, listen, or be frustrated by your 'NO!', but over time they will learn. They will test this 'NO!' time and time again, and this is where you as a parent need to be strong-willed. It just takes time. Prior to the emphatic 'NO!' you may want to try a calmer 'No thank you' so the child understands 'OK, this means no'. This is especially effective in public, where you don't have to look like a screaming idiot. Good luck!
    I love to turn you on
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    Prior to the emphatic 'NO!' you may want to try a calmer 'No thank you' so the child understands 'OK, this means no'. This is especially effective in public, where you don't have to look like a screaming idiot. Good luck!

    Obviously, this is until you have mastered 'the look'!
  • All 3 of my kids at that age loved to go to the tupperware drawer and start flinging around the bowls and lids. They loved it. Then they learned how to clean up. So all was not lost in this 'activity'.

    As long as the child learns the emphatic 'NO!', then you're doing your job as a parent. The child may not understand, listen, or be frustrated by your 'NO!', but over time they will learn. They will test this 'NO!' time and time again, and this is where you as a parent need to be strong-willed. It just takes time. Prior to the emphatic 'NO!' you may want to try a calmer 'No thank you' so the child understands 'OK, this means no'. This is especially effective in public, where you don't have to look like a screaming idiot. Good luck!

    Thanks because I was thinking of giving up. He's spoiled by his dad which makes it harder.

    Mookie: Lol. Have a think about it. Just take a guess! ;):)
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 13,138
    got a pack n play or some other type of playpen?

    thats where my son got his "timeouts" at that age

    no toys in there either-they eventually start calming down

    otherwise they keep trying to go back to whatever you are keeping them from

    and I agree about adding thank you, that seemed to relax him

    put the crayons back please thank you

    thats not your toy, put it back please thank you

    evenutally they learn
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677

    Mookie: Lol. Have a think about it. Just take a guess! ;):)

    I honestly don't know. My parents never put me in a corner or anything like that. It was my dad's booming voice yelling that made me listen. If I had to guess I would say does the parent fake like they're going to go at the kid with a loud step?!? I have no clue. I'm also now getting the visual of P-diidy doing his side step. While not a naughty step per se, it sure if stupid looking. Guess I'll google naughty step. I'm at work so hopefully nothing too bad comes up!
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    redrock wrote:
    Obviously, this is until you have mastered 'the look'!


    :D that actually made me chuckle... thanks red :)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • mookie9999 wrote:
    I honestly don't know. My parents never put me in a corner or anything like that. It was my dad's booming voice yelling that made me listen. If I had to guess I would say does the parent fake like they're going to go at the kid with a loud step?!? I have no clue. I'm also now getting the visual of P-diidy doing his side step. While not a naughty step per se, it sure if stupid looking. Guess I'll google naughty step. I'm at work so hopefully nothing too bad comes up!

    Just a step you sit them on until they supposedly calm down. :)

    P.S. I left that one wide open for you to write something that would make me laugh. Thanks.

    :cool:
  • My son is over a year old now. My partner has always said he's too young for rules but I'm afraid of they way he will grow up if I don't start setting down rules!
    My little boy kept pulling rubbish out of the bin. I kept telling him no but everytime I said it, he would start screaming, crying and going bright red in the face with anger. I didn't even shout! After the fifth time, I put him in his bed, just to get the point across but now I'm worried that if I keep doing that, he'll think bed is a bad place and won't want to go to bed!


    redirect the chap. by redirecting I mean, pick him up, set him in the middle of the living room with his toys or give him something else to do; then proceed to clean up his mess. :D

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  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    redrock wrote:
    Obviously, this is until you have mastered 'the look'!

    My 6 year old HATES the look, and has tried to give it back to me. Hilarious. i agree w/ dunk - i believe we chuckle because we've been there.
    I love to turn you on
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    Thanks because I was thinking of giving up. He's spoiled by his dad which makes it harder.

    Mookie: Lol. Have a think about it. Just take a guess! ;):)

    never give up. never.
    I love to turn you on
  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    My son is over a year old now. My partner has always said he's too young for rules but I'm afraid of they way he will grow up if I don't start setting down rules!
    My little boy kept pulling rubbish out of the bin. I kept telling him no but everytime I said it, he would start screaming, crying and going bright red in the face with anger. I didn't even shout! After the fifth time, I put him in his bed, just to get the point across but now I'm worried that if I keep doing that, he'll think bed is a bad place and won't want to go to bed!

    You are absolutely right about the rules issue, and right about bed not being a good place to put him for exactly the reason you mention.

    Talking calmly and explaining is the best course of action. But perhaps even better in this case would be to block access to the bin. Put it high up or lock it in. He may be upset at the beginning, but will likely forget soon.

    And don't worry about the looks... houses with one year olds are supposed to have all sorts of weird stuff going on.

    Also, please don't ask Helen for advice :D
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • It doesn't matter, the kid will end up screwed up anyway, because you're too young to be parenting a child in the fist place.
    "It's all happening"
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    i agree with those who said a beating is in order!!! ok not like a rodney king beating but you know! i do NOT have kidz nor do i WANT ANY. However, i have a nephew who i call SPYDEE-he's 3. The boy is outta control lately. I love him more than anything or anyone but he needs to get spanked! as much as it bothers me to discipline him, i would rather do that NOW than him grow up to be a punk and a brat that no one wants to be around. The worst part is that his parents do NOT spank him. My sister in law "talks" to him DAILY. like ALL DAY. she went to school to be a teacher and i GUESS in one of the classes they taught against spanking the child so she will NOT spank him. WHATEVER. all i hear all the damn time is 'spydee...LISTEN. spydee LISTEN. SPYYYDEEEE LISTEN TO ME!!!' obviously its not working! i always tell her and my bro 'that little punk needs to get BEAT!!!' and its true. when the hell did it become wrong to spank your kid in the booty? thats good discipline right there. this is why i DO NOT EVVVVVER WANT KIDZ!!!!! thank you. :D
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  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    Also, this may just be complementary to what Steve was saying, but NO is best reserved for very specal occasions when safety is at stake. In the case of the bin, it may be better to say: "I don't like it when you pull that blablabla" or "why don't we play with this instead?"

    Other solutions: perhaps give him a laundry hamper to take things from? Or let him play with a tupperware drawer? I went crazy with my son taking pots from the cupboards when he was that age, and finally I just decided I was going to let him do it :). But trash is gross, I agree.
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • my 4 yr old daughter knows "the look" too!! it results in endless sobbing & I NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING!!!!!

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  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    SENROCK! wrote:
    i agree with those who said a beating is in order!!! ok not like a rodney king beating but you know! i do NOT have kidz nor do i WANT ANY. However, i have a nephew who i call SPYDEE-he's 3. The boy is outta control lately. I love him more than anything or anyone but he needs to get spanked! as much as it bothers me to discipline him, i would rather do that NOW than him grow up to be a punk and a brat that no one wants to be around. The worst part is that his parents do NOT spank him. My sister in law "talks" to him DAILY. like ALL DAY. she went to school to be a teacher and i GUESS in one of the classes they taught against spanking the child so she will NOT spank him. WHATEVER. all i hear all the damn time is 'spydee...LISTEN. spydee LISTEN. SPYYYDEEEE LISTEN TO ME!!!' obviously its not working! i always tell her and my bro 'that little punk needs to get BEAT!!!' and its true. when the hell did it become wrong to spank your kid in the booty? thats good discipline right there. this is why i DO NOT EVVVVVER WANT KIDZ!!!!! thank you. :D


    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=259835&highlight=spanking
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • SENROCK! wrote:
    i agree with those who said a beating is in order!!! ok not like a rodney king beating but you know! i do NOT have kidz nor do i WANT ANY. However, i have a nephew who i call SPYDEE-he's 3. The boy is outta control lately. I love him more than anything or anyone but he needs to get spanked! as much as it bothers me to discipline him, i would rather do that NOW than him grow up to be a punk and a brat that no one wants to be around. The worst part is that his parents do NOT spank him. My sister in law "talks" to him DAILY. like ALL DAY. she went to school to be a teacher and i GUESS in one of the classes they taught against spanking the child so she will NOT spank him. WHATEVER. all i hear all the damn time is 'spydee...LISTEN. spydee LISTEN. SPYYYDEEEE LISTEN TO ME!!!' obviously its not working! i always tell her and my bro 'that little punk needs to get BEAT!!!' and its true. when the hell did it become wrong to spank your kid in the booty? thats good discipline right there. this is why i DO NOT EVVVVVER WANT KIDZ!!!!! thank you. :D

    You'll feel differently if you have your own. It's hard to smack them. They're too cute.

    I've just moved the bin. I'm getting sick of it now.
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