Also, this may just be complementary to what Steve was saying, but NO is best reserved for very specal occasions when safety is at stake. In the case of the bin, it may be better to say: "I don't like it when you pull that blablabla" or "why don't we play with this instead?"
Other solutions: perhaps give him a laundry hamper to take things from? Or let him play with a tupperware drawer? I went crazy with my son taking pots from the cupboards when he was that age, and finally I just decided I was going to let him do it . But trash is gross, I agree.
I can't distract him. He ony wants the bin while he can see it.
when my daughter does something she may not do I tell her "no". She looks at me, smiles and then do it again; I say "no" again, a bit louder than thefirst time. She tries again, etc. But after 3 or 4 "no", she knwo she may not do what she was trying to do.
If, after a few days she tries again to do it, only one "no" is sufficient...
I think it's never too soon to set down rules.
Same here. My little one is a mini me. She tests us to see what she can get away with. They are smart! Make no mistake about that. They know whether they are being bad or not. My daughter will pick the dirt out of the potted plants, look over at me give me a little giggle, then throw it on the ground. I give her a look and firmly say no! She knew it was wrong but she wanted a reaction b/c I was in the message pit on my labtop instead of paying attention to her. LOL!!!
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
i agree with those who said a beating is in order!!! ok not like a rodney king beating but you know! i do NOT have kidz nor do i WANT ANY. However, i have a nephew who i call SPYDEE-he's 3. The boy is outta control lately. I love him more than anything or anyone but he needs to get spanked! as much as it bothers me to discipline him, i would rather do that NOW than him grow up to be a punk and a brat that no one wants to be around. The worst part is that his parents do NOT spank him. My sister in law "talks" to him DAILY. like ALL DAY. she went to school to be a teacher and i GUESS in one of the classes they taught against spanking the child so she will NOT spank him. WHATEVER. all i hear all the damn time is 'spydee...LISTEN. spydee LISTEN. SPYYYDEEEE LISTEN TO ME!!!' obviously its not working! i always tell her and my bro 'that little punk needs to get BEAT!!!' and its true. when the hell did it become wrong to spank your kid in the booty? thats good discipline right there. this is why i DO NOT EVVVVVER WANT KIDZ!!!!! thank you.
Of course he doesn't listen. He's 3. Most 3 yr old kids don't listen. But that doesn't mean that he should be spanked. Why do you believe a spanking would turn his behavior around?
If you don't have kids, and you don't even want kids...I don't think you should really consider yourself an expert on child discipline. It really is different when you are the parent and you're raising your own child.
i agree with those who said a beating is in order!!! ok not like a rodney king beating but you know! i do NOT have kidz nor do i WANT ANY. However, i have a nephew who i call SPYDEE-he's 3. The boy is outta control lately. I love him more than anything or anyone but he needs to get spanked! as much as it bothers me to discipline him, i would rather do that NOW than him grow up to be a punk and a brat that no one wants to be around. The worst part is that his parents do NOT spank him. My sister in law "talks" to him DAILY. like ALL DAY. she went to school to be a teacher and i GUESS in one of the classes they taught against spanking the child so she will NOT spank him. WHATEVER. all i hear all the damn time is 'spydee...LISTEN. spydee LISTEN. SPYYYDEEEE LISTEN TO ME!!!' obviously its not working! i always tell her and my bro 'that little punk needs to get BEAT!!!' and its true. when the hell did it become wrong to spank your kid in the booty? thats good discipline right there. this is why i DO NOT EVVVVVER WANT KIDZ!!!!! thank you.
No way!
I always thought I would be the type to smack my kids when they deserve it but not her. I can not do it to a little girl. If i have a son and he starts to test me as a teen then i might let him know who is boss but I doubt it. After she was born it changed everything. She makes me a big softy. I want to spend the time to teach her rather then just hit her.
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
We can't use the naughty step with our (nearly) 2 year old as she loves sitting there and watching the world go by so when she's persistantly doing something she shouldn't we put her into the hall and close over the doorfor about 30secs - 1 min. It's mad but she stays perfectly still and we open the door, get down to her level and explain the behaviour to her, seems to work a treat.
My son is over a year old now. My partner has always said he's too young for rules but I'm afraid of they way he will grow up if I don't start setting down rules!
My little boy kept pulling rubbish out of the bin. I kept telling him no but everytime I said it, he would start screaming, crying and going bright red in the face with anger. I didn't even shout! After the fifth time, I put him in his bed, just to get the point across but now I'm worried that if I keep doing that, he'll think bed is a bad place and won't want to go to bed!
I can safely say my strategy is the best. NEVER have kids! Shudder to think...
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a light spanking is the only thing i might of done on a few occasions i don't have any siggestions as to what is the best method of discipline though,my son is 13 my daughter is 10 it's now it's more " if you don't listen this is what is being taken away " or you won't get this if you don't listen ...but the trick is you have to stick to your guns if you say you will take something away do it and don't make threats that you won't follow through with ...
We can't use the naughty step with our (nearly) 2 year old as she loves sitting there and watching the world go by so when she's persistantly doing something she shouldn't we put her into the hall and close over the doorfor about 30secs - 1 min. It's mad but she stays perfectly still and we open the door, get down to her level and explain the behaviour to her, seems to work a treat.
Haha! My daughter was the same! We had to shut the hall door so she couldn't see in the living room!
My son is over a year old now. My partner has always said he's too young for rules but I'm afraid of they way he will grow up if I don't start setting down rules!
My little boy kept pulling rubbish out of the bin. I kept telling him no but everytime I said it, he would start screaming, crying and going bright red in the face with anger. I didn't even shout! After the fifth time, I put him in his bed, just to get the point across but now I'm worried that if I keep doing that, he'll think bed is a bad place and won't want to go to bed!
i'm a big believer in natural consequences. providing there's nothing in there that could choke him or actually make him sick, let him eat a few gross coffee grains or soggy toast. YUCK! that'll teach him better than anything you could come up with!
"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Barack Obama."
"Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore
"i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
~ed, 8/7
No way!
I always thought I would be the type to smack my kids when they deserve it but not her. I can not do it to a little girl. If i have a son and he starts to test me as a teen then i might let him know who is boss but I doubt it. After she was born it changed everything. She makes me a big softy. I want to spend the time to teach her rather then just hit her.
so if she was a boy, you'd slug her??
good plan. :rolleyes:
"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Barack Obama."
"Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore
"i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
~ed, 8/7
If you smack a kid, he or she will know not to do that again or else
I'm not saying beat the shit out of the kid, but a nice firm smack on the ass
oh, please. there was an entire loooooong-ass thread about spanking/not spanking. no need to rehash THAT. most parents these days have been enlightened beyond hitting. come, join us, won't you?
"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Barack Obama."
"Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore
"i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
~ed, 8/7
If you smack a kid, he or she will know not to do that again or else
I'm not saying beat the shit out of the kid, but a nice firm smack on the ass
And when some little kid takes a toy from he/she or does something he/she doesn't like, he/she will respond the way her parents do - hit the culprit. After all, that's what it boils down to: parent's attitude - you're doing something we don't want you to do, we hit you. Little kid thinks: the other kid is doing something I don't want him to do, I will hit him - after all it must be ok because mommy and daddy to that to me. But I'm not going to debate the spanking issue. There has already been a whole thread about it (which I think someone linked in this thread).
I can't distract him. He ony wants the bin while he can see it.
Nevermind.
Distracting him by first when he reaches for the bin tell him firmly "no" when he reacts as usual (the red face screaming) gently take him by the shoulders (he WILL resist) and move him to another section of the room with a toy or some object that you BOTH can play or look at...he will return to the bin...walk him away from it after tellign him NO again, and keep doing this until you can lead him away by the hand. It is important that HE do the walking away from the bin - don't pick him up from behind or just cart him away...he has to be part ofthe distraction efforts.
Since he seems to be getting a reaction to your "no" and all, I would say that he is clearly old enough at one to understand very simple safety-aimed rules like the one you are trying to enforce. In all honesty he will probably be a pain in the butt about it for the day (may even exhaust himself with crying and repeated attempts before he "gets it") but it is well worth the effort.
if he hits at you after or during any of these attempts THAT is when a naughty chair would be in order and remember that the amount of time should indicate his age - so no longer than a minute, regardless of fussing...and be sure to tell him clearly and simply WHY he was placed on the chair. none of that "you were bad" or "you were naughty" stuff either. tell him "Mommy said NO to the trash bin. *name* is NOT to touch the trash bin."
above all be consistent...so make sure your child's father will enforce this s well- or if not then stay the hell out of it (no picking him up off of the chair or even talking in a manner that indicates there is an undermining possibility for your child to work an angle between you...children EVEN at the age of ONE can pick up on that!)
*Preschool Teacher 5 years, Director 2 years, specializing in Infants and Toddlers.
I hope this helps! (getting him used to this pattern will help to stem the tide of the infamous two's and threes. without stripping him of any independence that you would obviously want to nurture)
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
There are times when negative reinforcement is needed.
A light slap on the bum or the hand is neither humiliating nor abusive-imho
my boy had a problem with hitting and kicking
He thought it was all fun and games but he got a little too agressive and the nos didnt stop it.
A light slap on the hand or feet with a firm NO when he did it-hitting/kicking problem solved.
interesting...I have actually hear that this does work - it isn't intended to cause pain and it is very light with the reinforcing no...but did you try to hold his hand down in his lap wen he was hitting or placing your hand on his feet and holding them down (not kung fu death grip or anything)
while saying firmly "I said NO KICKING/HITTING" that might work for some parents that are not comfortable with any forms of spanking...also this is what works when the child is under your care but is not your child (i e you are a child care provider)
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
Finally I can reply again. (Sorry I've been on my naughty step for the last hour). Children should not be hit, imo. Spanking included. My dad spanked me one time in my life and that was for taking a leak in the front yard in broad daylight (fecking sister told me to). Other than that he rarely even had to raise his voice to either of us. It was about respect for our parents, ourselves, and others. Works on both children and adults, amazing!
"The leads are weak!"
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
Distracting him by first when he reaches for the bin tell him firmly "no" when he reacts as usual (the red face screaming) gently take him by the shoulders (he WILL resist) and move him to another section of the room with a toy or some object that you BOTH can play or look at...he will return to the bin...walk him away from it after tellign him NO again, and keep doing this until you can lead him away by the hand. It is important that HE do the walking away from the bin - don't pick him up from behind or just cart him away...he has to be part ofthe distraction efforts.
Since he seems to be getting a reaction to your "no" and all, I would say that he is clearly old enough at one to understand very simple safety-aimed rules like the one you are trying to enforce. In all honesty he will probably be a pain in the butt about it for the day (may even exhaust himself with crying and repeated attempts before he "gets it") but it is well worth the effort.
if he hits at you after or during any of these attempts THAT is when a naughty chair would be in order and remember that the amount of time should indicate his age - so no longer than a minute, regardless of fussing...and be sure to tell him clearly and simply WHY he was placed on the chair. none of that "you were bad" or "you were naughty" stuff either. tell him "Mommy said NO to the trash bin. *name* is NOT to touch the trash bin."
above all be consistent...so make sure your child's father will enforce this s well- or if not then stay the hell out of it (no picking him up off of the chair or even talking in a manner that indicates there is an undermining possibility for your child to work an angle between you...children EVEN at the age of ONE can pick up on that!)
*Preschool Teacher 5 years, Director 2 years, specializing in Infants and Toddlers.
I hope this helps! (getting him used to this pattern will help to stem the tide of the infamous two's and threes. without stripping him of any independence that you would obviously want to nurture)
Thanks for that. I respect your opinion. I'll try leading him away, rather than carting him off.
I think you understand one of the problems here too, mentioned in your forth paragraph. Cheers, bud.
i agree with those who said a beating is in order!!! ok not like a rodney king beating but you know! i do NOT have kidz nor do i WANT ANY. However, i have a nephew who i call SPYDEE-he's 3. The boy is outta control lately. I love him more than anything or anyone but he needs to get spanked! as much as it bothers me to discipline him, i would rather do that NOW than him grow up to be a punk and a brat that no one wants to be around. The worst part is that his parents do NOT spank him. My sister in law "talks" to him DAILY. like ALL DAY. she went to school to be a teacher and i GUESS in one of the classes they taught against spanking the child so she will NOT spank him. WHATEVER. all i hear all the damn time is 'spydee...LISTEN. spydee LISTEN. SPYYYDEEEE LISTEN TO ME!!!' obviously its not working! i always tell her and my bro 'that little punk needs to get BEAT!!!' and its true. when the hell did it become wrong to spank your kid in the booty? thats good discipline right there. this is why i DO NOT EVVVVVER WANT KIDZ!!!!! thank you.
Thank goodness you aren't going to procreate.
I think anyone who spells kids with a 'Z' needs a beating. And I'm talking about a Reginald Denny beating.
interesting...I have actually hear that this does work - it isn't intended to cause pain and it is very light with the reinforcing no...but did you try to hold his hand down in his lap wen he was hitting or placing your hand on his feet and holding them down (not kung fu death grip or anything)
while saying firmly "I said NO KICKING/HITTING" that might work for some parents that are not comfortable with any forms of spanking...also this is what works when the child is under your care but is not your child (i e you are a child care provider)
tried everything
even the light slap on the hands is a last resort
when I held him he though it was a game
I honestly believe there needs to be some other sensory association to go along with the NO when they are too young to understand groups of words
just like a hug or a high five needs to go along with "good job" or "good boy"
i love these people that say its ok to smack kids... i cant wait to meet them and as soon as they do something they are not supposed to, like fart, or drop litter, or perhaps swear... i'm going to smack them, and the force will be proportionate to that of them hitting a fucking small kid... i.e. fucking hard
this was a public safety announcement type post thingy
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
i love these people that say its ok to smack kids... i cant wait to meet them and as soon as they do something they are not supposed to, like fart, or drop litter, or perhaps swear... i'm going to smack them, and the force will be proportionate to that of them hitting a fucking small kid... i.e. fucking hard
this was a public safety announcement type post thingy
you got kids dunkman?
if not, you should just pipe down
you got kids dunkman?
if not, you should just pipe down
i got 2... both never been spanked nor will they be.
both are awesome and solve world hunger in their spare time.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
i love these people that say its ok to smack kids... i cant wait to meet them and as soon as they do something they are not supposed to, like fart, or drop litter, or perhaps swear... i'm going to smack them, and the force will be proportionate to that of them hitting a fucking small kid... i.e. fucking hard
this was a public safety announcement type post thingy
Yeah ok buddy, farting is wrong?
I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Comments
There you go
I can't distract him. He ony wants the bin while he can see it.
Nevermind.
Same here. My little one is a mini me. She tests us to see what she can get away with. They are smart! Make no mistake about that. They know whether they are being bad or not. My daughter will pick the dirt out of the potted plants, look over at me give me a little giggle, then throw it on the ground. I give her a look and firmly say no! She knew it was wrong but she wanted a reaction b/c I was in the message pit on my labtop instead of paying attention to her. LOL!!!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
Of course he doesn't listen. He's 3. Most 3 yr old kids don't listen. But that doesn't mean that he should be spanked. Why do you believe a spanking would turn his behavior around?
If you don't have kids, and you don't even want kids...I don't think you should really consider yourself an expert on child discipline. It really is different when you are the parent and you're raising your own child.
No way!
I always thought I would be the type to smack my kids when they deserve it but not her. I can not do it to a little girl. If i have a son and he starts to test me as a teen then i might let him know who is boss but I doubt it. After she was born it changed everything. She makes me a big softy. I want to spend the time to teach her rather then just hit her.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
Sometimes that's all you can do at this age.
I can safely say my strategy is the best. NEVER have kids! Shudder to think...
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Haha! My daughter was the same! We had to shut the hall door so she couldn't see in the living room!
i'm a big believer in natural consequences. providing there's nothing in there that could choke him or actually make him sick, let him eat a few gross coffee grains or soggy toast. YUCK! that'll teach him better than anything you could come up with!
"Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore
"i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
~ed, 8/7
Bullshit.
If you smack a kid, he or she will know not to do that again or else
I'm not saying beat the shit out of the kid, but a nice firm smack on the ass
so if she was a boy, you'd slug her??
good plan. :rolleyes:
"Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore
"i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
~ed, 8/7
oh, please. there was an entire loooooong-ass thread about spanking/not spanking. no need to rehash THAT. most parents these days have been enlightened beyond hitting. come, join us, won't you?
"Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore
"i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
~ed, 8/7
And when some little kid takes a toy from he/she or does something he/she doesn't like, he/she will respond the way her parents do - hit the culprit. After all, that's what it boils down to: parent's attitude - you're doing something we don't want you to do, we hit you. Little kid thinks: the other kid is doing something I don't want him to do, I will hit him - after all it must be ok because mommy and daddy to that to me. But I'm not going to debate the spanking issue. There has already been a whole thread about it (which I think someone linked in this thread).
Distracting him by first when he reaches for the bin tell him firmly "no" when he reacts as usual (the red face screaming) gently take him by the shoulders (he WILL resist) and move him to another section of the room with a toy or some object that you BOTH can play or look at...he will return to the bin...walk him away from it after tellign him NO again, and keep doing this until you can lead him away by the hand. It is important that HE do the walking away from the bin - don't pick him up from behind or just cart him away...he has to be part ofthe distraction efforts.
Since he seems to be getting a reaction to your "no" and all, I would say that he is clearly old enough at one to understand very simple safety-aimed rules like the one you are trying to enforce. In all honesty he will probably be a pain in the butt about it for the day (may even exhaust himself with crying and repeated attempts before he "gets it") but it is well worth the effort.
if he hits at you after or during any of these attempts THAT is when a naughty chair would be in order and remember that the amount of time should indicate his age - so no longer than a minute, regardless of fussing...and be sure to tell him clearly and simply WHY he was placed on the chair. none of that "you were bad" or "you were naughty" stuff either. tell him "Mommy said NO to the trash bin. *name* is NOT to touch the trash bin."
above all be consistent...so make sure your child's father will enforce this s well- or if not then stay the hell out of it (no picking him up off of the chair or even talking in a manner that indicates there is an undermining possibility for your child to work an angle between you...children EVEN at the age of ONE can pick up on that!)
*Preschool Teacher 5 years, Director 2 years, specializing in Infants and Toddlers.
I hope this helps! (getting him used to this pattern will help to stem the tide of the infamous two's and threes. without stripping him of any independence that you would obviously want to nurture)
I think you don't have kids
I hope you don't have kids
It shows, good job
Oh jesus give me a fucking break... .
"oh were so enlightened with our new ways these days"
A light slap on the bum or the hand is neither humiliating nor abusive-imho
my boy had a problem with hitting and kicking
He thought it was all fun and games but he got a little too agressive and the nos didnt stop it.
A light slap on the hand or feet with a firm NO when he did it-hitting/kicking problem solved.
interesting...I have actually hear that this does work - it isn't intended to cause pain and it is very light with the reinforcing no...but did you try to hold his hand down in his lap wen he was hitting or placing your hand on his feet and holding them down (not kung fu death grip or anything)
while saying firmly "I said NO KICKING/HITTING" that might work for some parents that are not comfortable with any forms of spanking...also this is what works when the child is under your care but is not your child (i e you are a child care provider)
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
"What's your name?"
"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
Thanks for that. I respect your opinion. I'll try leading him away, rather than carting him off.
I think you understand one of the problems here too, mentioned in your forth paragraph. Cheers, bud.
I think anyone who spells kids with a 'Z' needs a beating. And I'm talking about a Reginald Denny beating.
tried everything
even the light slap on the hands is a last resort
when I held him he though it was a game
I honestly believe there needs to be some other sensory association to go along with the NO when they are too young to understand groups of words
just like a hug or a high five needs to go along with "good job" or "good boy"
words just dont mean as much to younger children
this was a public safety announcement type post thingy
you got kids dunkman?
if not, you should just pipe down
i got 2... both never been spanked nor will they be.
both are awesome and solve world hunger in their spare time.
Yeah ok buddy, farting is wrong?