my friend wants me to go to a pub crawl today

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Whizbang wrote:

:eek:

hehe. I thought vodka was your thing though.

pjfan31

do it!!! once you get a few brown lemonades into you, you will just start conversations up. It might seem awkward at first but you will have a good night.

Whizbang

Saturnal wrote:

hehe. I thought vodka was your thing though.

vodka is totally my thing. Beer rules but you saw me. I'm so much more mellow after a martini or vodka/rocks.

GreenTeaDisease

Saturnal wrote:

Hope ya went out. I love pub crawls.

well my friend ended up not wanting to go to the pub crawl so we went out to dinner with our other friend and her boyfriend and then hung out for a long time and had drinks. it was much better for me.

Whizbang

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well my friend ended up not wanting to go to the pub crawl so we went out to dinner with our other friend and her boyfriend and then hung out for a long time and had drinks. it was much better for me.

awesome!!!! glad it worked out for you!

GreenTeaDisease

Whizbang wrote:

awesome!!!! glad it worked out for you!

yeah it's ok but my friends are starting to pressure me to try to meet guys again, and I just can't yet, and they just don't understand.

decides2dream

life is too short to allow self-perceived flaws hold you back. seriously. no matter how 'bad' one may think it all is.....shit happens, and why limit yourself? i think more people regret what they didn't do, then what they did. you have to go and LIVE, not wait for the time when you and life is *perfect*...b/c it never is, life, and you, always a work in progress.


and i know you have a million and one 'reasons' why you can't/won't.....and i am not even going to bother to argue with you. all i WILL say, is you sell yourself short, sell others short...and are cutting off/back on true enjoyment of your life if you let your appearance or any other sort of shallow thing, hold you back from LIVING. and in regards to guys, how cool would it be to meet a guy during your self-perceived 'ugly phase'...and he likes you anyway? now there's a thought! *of coursei realize you have an 'answer' to all of this and how it will never happen, etc, etc.....and to that i say....what-everrrrrrrrrrr.............:p

GreenTeaDisease

decides2dream wrote:

life is too short to allow self-perceived flaws hold you back. seriously. no matter how 'bad' one may think it all is.....shit happens, and why limit yourself? i think more people regret what they didn't do, then what they did. you have to go and LIVE, not wait for the time when you and life is *perfect*...b/c it never is, life, and you, always a work in progress.


and i know you have a million and one 'reasons' why you can't/won't.....and i am not even going to bother to argue with you. all i WILL say, is you sell yourself short, sell others short...and are cutting off/back on true enjoyment of your life if you let your appearance or any other sort of shallow thing, hold you back from LIVING. and in regards to guys, how cool would it be to meet a guy during your self-perceived 'ugly phase'...and he likes you anyway? now there's a thought! *of coursei realize you have an 'answer' to all of this and how it will never happen, etc, etc.....and to that i say....what-everrrrrrrrrrr.............:p

it's not really as deep and complicated as all that.

decides2dream

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

it's not really as deep and complicated as all that.

if you allow your appearance to hold you back from ANYthing, it's *something*...whether complicated or not, i couldn't say. and that's all from me.

Rhinocerous Surprise

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

yeah it's ok but my friends are starting to pressure me to try to meet guys again, and I just can't yet, and they just don't understand.

I'd say to not look at it as meeting "guys", and just look at it as meeting new people. It'll take a little bit of pressure off.:)

GreenTeaDisease

Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:

I'd say to not look at it as meeting "guys", and just look at it as meeting new people. It'll take a little bit of pressure off.:)

yeah either way, it's not really something I want to do. I don't want people to make incorrect assumptions about me.

GreenTeaDisease

decides2dream wrote:

if you allow your appearance to hold you back from ANYthing, it's *something*...whether complicated or not, i couldn't say. and that's all from me.

it's not about appearance. it's about the behavior that underlies appearance.

pineapplesandwaves

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

it's not about appearance. it's about the behavior that underlies appearance.

It's not?

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I never do anything for a reason- I don't like people seeing me.

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I basically run back and forth to work, as covered as possible

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I feel like even the process of getting dressed to go out is make me have an anxiety attack. I'm already starting to freak out about it. I already started crying last night when I got off the phone with her.

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

because I have become utterly disgusting. I might scare people.

Sometimes you just have to say, "Sod it!" Very few people are completely satisfied with their looks, but most go out in public anyway. There's something wrong here if the mere thought of going out leaves you anxious and in tears, and all we have to do is read one of the numerous threads you create to realize that you should be talking to a professional. You may cast aside D2D's post, but I agree with everything she says. Many people "cocoon" from time-to-time, but you can't cut yourself off from the world. If you don't want to go to clubs or to pub crawls any more because you've grown out of it, fine, but to choose not go because you believe your friend's friends will think you're gross is ridiculous ... and something you should look into getting some help for.

GreenTeaDisease

I'll Ride The Wave wrote:

It's not?
you're gross is ridiculous ... and something you should look into getting some help for.

not my friends, people I don't know.

it's just so much more. the reason I look bad is because my life is out of order. and I haven't been able to get it back in order yet. It's hard to describe but I don't want people to see me and know how disorganized and irresponsible I have been, as well as make other bad assumptions about me that may or may not be true. Furthermore it is a matter of practicality- I can't go out many places in one pair of ill-fitting jeans, baggy sweatshirts and sweat pants, and I can't buy any new clothes because I don't I fit in regular sizes and plus sizes are for people who are all-around bigger and don't work and frankly usually extremely ugly.

pineapplesandwaves

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

not my friends, people I don't know.

it's just so much more. the reason I look bad is because my life is out of order. and I haven't been able to get it back in order yet. It's hard to describe but I don't want people to see me and know how disorganized and irresponsible I have been, as well as make other bad assumptions about me that may or may not be true. Furthermore it is a matter of practicality- I can't go out many places in one pair of ill-fitting jeans, baggy sweatshirts and sweat pants, and I can't buy any new clothes because I don't I fit in regular sizes and plus sizes are for people who are all-around bigger and don't work and frankly usually extremely ugly.

I know it wasn't your friends, but I thought you said you didn't want to be around your friend's friends, people you didn't know ... Either way, it's still ridiculous. I don't think anyone would believe that you were gross. Firstly, I doubt you're gross (your opinion of yourself is severely skewed). Secondly, you impress them with your wit and conversation, and no one's going to care what you look like.

I can understand the practicality part (many of us have put on weight and been reluctant to buy better fitting clothing in hopes of getting back down ... and just to avoid the frustration of shopping for clothes), but there is clearly a mental/emotional aspect to it, as well. You said it yourself - - you don't want people to see you be someone who you do not believe you are. You need to get over that. You're missing out on life because of it. If you go out and are funny and outgoing or witty and laid back, people aren't going to make unfair assumptions about you. They're going to leave thinking about the funny, nice chick they met tonight. I can understand feeling low after putting on weight (most of us have), but don't put so much into your appearance (and coming off as being irresponsible and unorganized) that you end up missing out on life.

GreenTeaDisease

I'll Ride The Wave wrote:

You're missing out on life because of it.

I know, that's why it's really starting to bother me. it's been too long and I haven't been able to fix things yet.

I'll Ride The Wave wrote:

If you go out and are funny and outgoing or witty and laid back, people aren't going to make unfair assumptions about you.

I'm not that funny and stuff though, especially when I'm with my friends because they aren't really funny. my personality is fine and I'm friendly and all, but not enough to make up for what I have become. Being the fittest person in the room was all I had going for me really. even if I didn't look that great, people were usually impressed by how I handled my life. I gut nuttin to even talk about now let alone impress people with.

and honestly, going out last night was probably not a good idea overall given how lazy I've been today. I woke up too late, my stomach doesn't feel right, I've gotten nothing done including a work out. Now I'll have to wait until the morning. I feel very anxious and jumpy and guilty and i've got a lot of pent-up energy I can't use.

dunkman

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I know, that's why it's really starting to bother me. it's been too long and I haven't been able to fix things yet.



I'm not that funny and stuff though, especially when I'm with my friends because they aren't really funny. my personality is fine and I'm friendly and all, but not enough to make up for what I have become. Being the fittest person in the room was all I had going for me really. even if I didn't look that great, people were usually impressed by how I handled my life. I gut nuttin to even talk about now let alone impress people with.

and honestly, going out last night was probably not a good idea overall given how lazy I've been today. I woke up too late, my stomach doesn't feel right, I've gotten nothing done including a work out. Now I'll have to wait until the morning. I feel very anxious and jumpy and guilty and i've got a lot of pent-up energy I can't use.

hey whats with all the doom and gloom... :(

its not healthy to work out 7 days a week anyway.. so you had today off.. big deal.

seriously.. hold your head up high and go out and take the world on... at some point everyone will go through something shit in their lives.. but you have to take the punches and be strong.

Stone Is God

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I know, that's why it's really starting to bother me. it's been too long and I haven't been able to fix things yet.



I'm not that funny and stuff though, especially when I'm with my friends because they aren't really funny. my personality is fine and I'm friendly and all, but not enough to make up for what I have become. Being the fittest person in the room was all I had going for me really. even if I didn't look that great, people were usually impressed by how I handled my life. I gut nuttin to even talk about now let alone impress people with.

and honestly, going out last night was probably not a good idea overall given how lazy I've been today. I woke up too late, my stomach doesn't feel right, I've gotten nothing done including a work out. Now I'll have to wait until the morning. I feel very anxious and jumpy and guilty and i've got a lot of pent-up energy I can't use.

You shouldn't have to worry about trying to impress people. I'm sure people would like you for who you are. It's funny, if you have the attiutude that you don't give a shit what people think about you, it actually draws people to you.

I can understand you thought process though: You don't feel comfortable with going out so you start to panic. Then you start to panic because your panicing. It's a horrible cycle. I used to have the same issue. It took a long time to break out of but you just take one step at a time to get yourself back on track.

A 1000 mile journey begins with one small step. I think you'll find once you take that first step each step will get easier and easier. You just have to find which way you want to step, close your eyes, and move forward.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

I say you know yourself best, and since you don't seem dumb, you should do whatever you think you need to do to get your situation fixed. Do it, and don't get distracted. If that means sacrificing some nights out with friends, then so be it. Life doesn't get easier when you actually have goals for yourself, but it IS ultimately more rewarding.

GreenTeaDisease

Stone Is God wrote:

You shouldn't have to worry about trying to impress people. I'm sure people would like you for who you are. It's funny, if you have the attiutude that you don't give a shit what people think about you, it actually draws people to you.

I actually DON'T really care what other people think. but I know that *most* people do and expect me to as well. that's really the problem. people who care what other people think don't let their lives get in so much disarray. going out honestly makes me so uncomfortable and nervous at this point that I don't see anything wrong with just hiding in my house, but other people don't get that. and when your friends keep pressuring and pressuring you to go out at some point you have to give in.