what do you do for christmas day/eve (hanukka, etc)

comebackwoman

decides2dream wrote:

there are PLENTY of people out on their own, and they create new traditions for themselves, friends, etc. life is all about change, and rolling with it.

i just think everyone needs to take responsibility for their own happiness. while my family is very important to me, i do not want to feel dependant on them, nor them on me...for traditions, happiness....etc...it's all choice.

I think this is very good advice...it's just like if someone you are close to passes away...they can still be a part of your holiday. They may not physcially be with you...but you can incorporate special things you shared with them into your traditions. That's why I like having the special german pastries my grandmom made every christmas...and like setting up her manger...and watching the christmas movies I watched with my grandparents when I was young. I'm not spending Christmas with them...but they are still a part of it for me. You can do that no matter the situation or the reason you're not with the people you care about.

And as for taking responsibility for your own happiness...that's not "spin" it's just sensible. You can't change people or control their choices...all you can do is change how you deal with it. Understanding that has saved me a lot of frustration and hurt.

decides2dream

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

But this isn't a question of people's "personal preferences and beliefs" it is a problem facing us and we have to change the way we think about those "personal preferences and beliefs" we have to stop and say these are the values I accept- should I be? Are values true or are they a product of the conventional wisdom? is this conventional wisdom hurting anyone?

differing perspectives...b/c i don't see any problems here, nor do i see any of this as conventional wisdom wither. however, again, i don't expect you or anyone to see the world the same way as i do.

comebackgirl wrote:

it's just like if someone you are close to passes away...they can still be a part of your holiday. They may not physcially be with you...but you can incorporate special things you shared with them into your traditions. That's why I like having the special german pastries my grandmom made every christmas...and like setting up her manger...and watching the christmas movies I watched with my grandparents when I was young. I'm not spending Christmas with them...but they are still a part of it for me. You can do that no matter the situation or the reason you're not with the people you care about.

And as for taking responsibility for your own happiness...that's not "spin" it's just sensible. You can't change people or control their choices...all you can do is change how you deal with it. Understanding that has saved me a lot of frustration and hurt.

that's really beautiful.

i know you are having a big change for your holidays this year....and i am sure spectacular! i cannot imagine your family begrudging you such happiness simply b/c you won't be with them, either. we grow, we change, life takes on new directions...hopefully all realize this, accept this...and make their own holidays special.


and....absolutely. how i choose to feel is how i am. not an easy road at times, but it is a lesson i continue to learn. i know my holidays have changed dramatically the past couple years...for me...even better. i count myself as fortunate b/c i feel that ALL my holiday celebrations in my life, to childhood right up to today...have all been special and magical....sometimes with some frustrations/growing pains....but i am happy we all manage to get thru them b/c i am so happy they continue to change, and i think, keep getting better.....all so special, and different over time. life IS change.

PJaddicted

cory wrote:

Christmas does lose its magic after the secret of Santa is revealed. But for those of us that have kids, you get it back because you're the one creating it now. I'm not saying run out and have kids just so you'll like Christmas again. I'm just saying that's what it does for me.

BUT, if you don't have kids or don't plan to have any, then you don't have to experience a night like I had last night with a sick 6 month old who couldn't sleep more than 47 seconds at a time. Fuck that shit.

See, there's checks and balances in everything.

I miss my boys being little....Christmas is still so much fun with them, but it is truly the best when they all still believe in Santa. Those were years were awesome! Very magical...and you get to be a kid all over again.

6 months old is the cutest age!

oxc

comebackwoman

decides2dream wrote:

that's really beautiful.

i know you are having a big change for your holidays this year....and i am sure spectacular! i cannot imagine your family begrudging you such happiness simply b/c you won't be with them, either. we grow, we change, life takes on new directions...hopefully all realize this, accept this...and make their own holidays special.

Thank you! Exactly...my family is disappointed that I won't be here this year because I'm a big kid when it comes to Christmas and I think I cling to the traditions the tightest...so you know what we did? We rolled with it and celebrated on December 8th Had the tree...the presents...the music...the big dinner and everything. They'll celebrate on the 25th again, as will I, but this way we could still have our celebration together. Now everyone gets to have 2 Christmases this year

decides2dream wrote:

and....absolutely. how i choose to feel is how i am. not an easy road at times, but it is a lesson i continue to learn. i know my holidays have changed dramatically the past couple years...for me...even better. i count myself as fortunate b/c i feel that ALL my holiday celebrations in my life, to childhood right up to today...have all been special and magical....sometimes with some frustrations/growing pains....but i am happy we all manage to get thru them b/c i am so happy they continue to change, and i think, keep getting better.....all so special, and different over time. life IS change.

Again...I agree. I didn't reply to this thread initially because my response would have been too long...my traditions have changed so many times depending on who I've been with and where I've been...but they are all special.

cory

PJaddicted wrote:

I miss my boys being little....Christmas is still so much fun with them, but it is truly the best when they all still believe in Santa. Those were years were awesome! Very magical...and you get to be a kid all over again.

6 months old is the cutest age!

oxc

just found out tonight...he has a respitory (sp?) virus and 2 ear infections. poor little fella.

decides2dream

comebackgirl wrote:

Thank you! Exactly...my family is disappointed that I won't be here this year because I'm a big kid when it comes to Christmas and I think I cling to the traditions the tightest...so you know what we did? We rolled with it and celebrated on December 8th Had the tree...the presents...the music...the big dinner and everything. They'll celebrate on the 25th again, as will I, but this way we could still have our celebration together. Now everyone gets to have 2 Christmases this year


Again...I agree. I didn't reply to this thread initially because my response would have been too long...my traditions have changed so many times depending on who I've been with and where I've been...but they are all special.

see? it really IS all perspective, and what you make of it. while we don't go for it whole-hog like that...we do make sure to get together simply to be together.....and it's all good. there is no 'right' way to do ANYthing in this world, why would the holidays be any different? i know some people who do some pretty non-tradtional celebrating, with not a bit of family to be seen....and they seem to have beautiful memories. you find what works...and that changes with time.

my 'tradtions' haven't changed all that much until recently...and even now, i don't think it's all so 'different'....just the location/participants scaled down some. i have been very fortunate in my life, no real stresses with the holidays....and at this point, especially me being the youngest of my family, all have pretty much become flexible about it all, roll with it, and i am sure no matter what we may all choose down the road, we all know how we love each other and will always 'fit' into each others' lives...even if not necesaarily, always, on the actual holidays. life is too short to be boxed into 'one way' of living it.

i LOVE the holidays....and however it gets celebrated....all good. the fact that i am here for another christmas, with a rather cozy life another year....that alone is cause for celebration.

cory

decides2dream wrote:

see? it really IS all perspective, and what you make of it. while we don't go for it whole-hog like that...we do make sure to get together simply to be together.....and it's all good. there is no 'right' way to do ANYthing in this world, why would the holidays be any different? i know some people who do some pretty non-tradtional celebrating, with not a bit of family to be seen....and they seem to have beautiful memories. you find what works...and that changes with time.

my 'tradtions' haven't changed all that much until recently...and even now, i don't think it's all so 'different'....just the location/participants scaled down some. i have been very fortunate in my life, no real stresses with the holidays....and at this point, especially me being the youngest of my family, all have pretty much become flexible about it all, roll with it, and i am sure no matter what we may all choose down the road, we all know how we love each other and will always 'fit' into each others' lives...even if not necesaarily, always, on the actual holidays. life is too short to be boxed into 'one way' of living it.

i LOVE the holidays....and however it gets celebrated....all good. the fact that i am here for another christmas, with a rather cozy life another year....that alone is cause for celebration.

Hey D2D! I was wondering. Could you maybe add 3 or 400 hundred more words per post. Thanks.

And Merry Christmas;)

decides2dream

cory wrote:

Hey D2D! I was wondering. Could you maybe add 3 or 400 hundred more words per post. Thanks.

And Merry Christmas;)

for you? have you been a good boy?
i'll see what i can do.



apparently many just do not have the comprehension to read in paragraph form, or so i have recently been informed. eh well, just reduces how many read my posts...but apparently doesn't stop em from responding!


btw - that joke got old with lou, so you do no service to humor by ressurrecting it.


and truly..a very MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours, and everyone here!

cory

decides2dream wrote:

for you? have you been a good boy?
i'll see what i can do.



apparently many just do not have the comprehension to read in paragraph form, or so i have recently been informed. eh well, just reduces how many read my posts...but apparently doesn't stop em from responding!


btw - that joke got old with lou, so you do no service to humor by ressurrecting it.


and truly..a very MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours, and everyone here!

You know, it's funny you mention that, because that's exactly why I said it. I miss my dawg. I'm sure he would want me to pick on you at least once over the holidays;)

Anyway, I hope all is well with you and yours. May Santa bring you lots of sex, I mean presents:)

decides2dream

cory wrote:

You know, it's funny you mention that, because that's exactly why I said it. I miss my dawg. I'm sure he would want me to pick on you at least once over the holidays

Anyway, I hope all is well with you and yours. May Santa bring you lots of sex, I mean presents

i'm sure.
*wipes tear*



it is...and don't *correct* yourself, you were right the first time. that's tops on the wishlist.......LOTs of it....tis the best gift, and...just keeps on giving. with chocolate, of course. :cool:


christmas eve is usually my fave part of the holiday...........:D

PJaddicted

comebackgirl wrote:

Thank you! Exactly...my family is disappointed that I won't be here this year because I'm a big kid when it comes to Christmas and I think I cling to the traditions the tightest...so you know what we did? We rolled with it and celebrated on December 8th Had the tree...the presents...the music...the big dinner and everything. They'll celebrate on the 25th again, as will I, but this way we could still have our celebration together. Now everyone gets to have 2 Christmases this year

This is great.....as a mom of 4 sons.....I will never ever make my sons feel bad if they want to spend Christmas with their significants other/wife or friends. We can always have a celebration another day....Christmas in August for all I care, the actual day means nothing, just as long as we are all together!

oxc

GreenTeaDisease

comebackgirl wrote:

I think this is very good advice...it's just like if someone you are close to passes away...they can still be a part of your holiday. They may not physcially be with you...but you can incorporate special things you shared with them into your traditions.

you did not just liken someone blowing you off to them dying...

GreenTeaDisease

nobody ever sees the big picture.

decides2dream

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

nobody ever sees the big picture.

or maybe we don't see YOUR view of the big picture. there is a difference....and it's all good.

i hope you manage to find a way to be happy during the holidays, it really IS up to you...whether you want to see it like that or not. so i do wish you a very merry christmas, happy new year...and all that good stuff!

cory

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

nobody ever sees the big picture.

What do you mean?

PJaddicted

cory wrote:

just found out tonight...he has a respitory (sp?) virus and 2 ear infections. poor little fella.

That is horrible! I hope he is on the mend quickly...would stink for him to be so sick for his first Xmas. Do you guys keep him in bed with you when he is sick, or just sit in a rocking chair holding him all night? It is the worst when they can't breathe. My kids are so close in age, when they were little and would get sick at the same time, we would have 3 vaporizers going, the wallpaper would be peeling from their bedroom walls!!!! And we wouldn't sleep for days on end...ah those were the days! Good thing I was young.

My 18 year old was sick this week....strep throat, still makes you feel really bad for them. I can't call him little though...6' and a body builder!!! He had to take 2 college finals in bad shape. Hope he did ok....he needs the grades

oxc

cory

PJaddicted wrote:

That is horrible! I hope he is on the mend quickly...would stink for him to be so sick for his first Xmas. Do you guys keep him in bed with you when he is sick, or just sit in a rocking chair holding him all night? It is the worst when they can't breathe. My kids are so close in age, when they were little and would get sick at the same time, we would have 3 vaporizers going, the wallpaper would be peeling from their bedroom walls!!!! And we wouldn't sleep for days on end...ah those were the days! Good thing I was young.

My 18 year old was sick this week....strep throat, still makes you feel really bad for them. I can't call him little though...6' and a body builder!!! He had to take 2 college finals in bad shape. Hope he did ok....he needs the grades

oxc

we have to do breathing treatments every four hours but he does have some numbing dops for his ears.

my middle child was on the nebulizer for about 8 months. we adapt to it. i'd rather deal with this than something much worse. afterall, it's just sleep.

he'll be fine. it'll just be a few days.

PJaddicted

cory wrote:

we have to do breathing treatments every four hours but he does have some numbing dops for his ears.

my middle child was on the nebulizer for about 8 months. we adapt to it. i'd rather deal with this than something much worse. afterall, it's just sleep.

he'll be fine. it'll just be a few days.

Great attitude....it is just sleep and everything you do for them with love and kindness while they are young and need you so completely, comes back to you ten fold. I will send him good vibes.

oxc

GreenTeaDisease

decides2dream wrote:

or maybe we don't see YOUR view of the big picture. there is a difference....and it's all good.

i hope you manage to find a way to be happy during the holidays, it really IS up to you...whether you want to see it like that or not. so i do wish you a very merry christmas, happy new year...and all that good stuff!

It's not just *my* view. it is being studied by scientists all over the country! It's something we have to address- I'm not talking about who celebrates christmas with whom- nothing so specific- I'm talking about the values we have created that are out of whack and the problems that can create. it causes discrimination and abandoned elderly people and children who can't interact with others and people losing the benefits that stem from friendships and familial relationships and communities and the third place. And the issue of celebrating christmas here that we have been discussing- if you look at things people have been saying and the weight they place on the values of the opposing parties involved in these situations...if you look at where the responsibilities and sacrifices have been placed...it's just a pure example that this is actually happening. it's clearly not equitable! we are placing more on one situation than we are on the other but without any real rational reason for it. Infact, there are plenty of reasons for why it is actually IRrational.

And I *am* happy! I'm kinda pissed about my selfish relatives fucking up christmas, but I'm not unhappy in general!

PJaddicted

GTD.....Just a suggestion, how about you invite everyone over for the holiday...or close to it, and have your own special personal celebration? This way you could start traditions that become sacred for you for your the of your life.

oxc