I think if you get married, each party should just spend christmas with their own family. I mean why the hell not? It simplifies things, and no one ends up disappointed. If I had a nickel for every time one of my married friends complained about upsetting parents and whatnot because they celebrated with the in-laws, I'd be a rich woman. But the answer is so simple, no one seems to notice it.
Well then who takes the kid with them?
My husband *is* part of my family. In fact, when I say "my family", I'm referring to my mom, sister & brother, my husband, our kid, my husband's parents and my husband's brother.
I didn't mean it to be romantic partner time (although that never hurts ). I meant it more as in as we start our own family I want to spend more time with her than anyone else even if it's just hanging out and watching TV. Right now it's just me and her, but possibly with kids in the future, I will want to spend Christmas with them rather than having to travel to my Mom's or my in-laws.
hmm. see I don't think is very considerate of you (I don't mean to be mean, I don't have anything against you or anything, I'm just reading and replying in my honest opinion, and your's is fine too). Because what about the family members? I mean my cousins have all basically taken the approach you describe here- they only want to be with their partners and their own kids on christmas. And now, christmas sucks for those of us who used to enjoy seeing them. Isn't christmas supposed to be about spending time with loved ones you don't see every day and having lots of friends and family around? what you describe is like the opposite of that- very insular.
oh p.s. I don't think of husbands and wives as being "family" in the traditional sense really, especially if you don't have any kids.
My husband *is* part of my family. In fact, when I say "my family", I'm referring to my mom, sister & brother, my husband, our kid, my husband's parents and my husband's brother.
well the kid can switch off from year to year or the owners of the kid can invite everyone to their house.
I understand it may be more of a logistical issue with kids, but people who don't have any kids shouldn't have a problem.
hmm. see I don't think is very considerate of you (I don't mean to be mean, I don't have anything against you or anything, I'm just reading and replying in my honest opinion, and your's is fine too). Because what about the family members? I mean my cousins have all basically taken the approach you describe here- they only want to be with their partners and their own kids on christmas. And now, christmas sucks for those of us who used to enjoy seeing them. Isn't christmas supposed to be about spending time with loved ones you don't see every day and having lots of friends and family around? what you describe is like the opposite of that- very insular.
I don't have a problem with seeing everyone at some time during the holidays, but as I said before, I would rather spend Christmas at my house with my wife and kids (should we decide to have children).
And really, Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of Jesus, but I don't want to open up that discussion. Your interpretation of what to do on and around Christmas is just that, your interpretation. If that's what you like then more power to you.
I don't have a problem with seeing everyone at some time during the holidays, but as I said before, I would rather spend Christmas at my house with my wife and kids (should we decide to have children).
And really, Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of Jesus, but I don't want to open up that discussion. Your interpretation of what to do on and around Christmas is just that, your interpretation. If that's what you like then more power to you.
I just don't think that people should abandon the people who have been there for them for their entire lives just because they moved in with someone else.
I just don't think that people should abandon the people who have been there for them for their entire lives just because they moved in with someone else.
Now you're going to extremes. That's not abandoning anyone. Abandonment would be if I never saw them again and never had any contact with them. Choosing to spend time with them on a day other than Christmas Day still incorporates them into my holiday season, just not on Christmas and is in now way, shape, or form abandonment. It seems as though you are trying to use hyperbole and/or guilt to force me into agreeing with you. Also, you don't know who has or hasn't been there for me during my life. That's a stupid assumption you're making about anyone who doesn't spend Christmas day with their entire family.
Now you're going to extremes. That's not abandoning anyone. Abandonment would be if I never saw them again and never had any contact with them. Choosing to spend time with them on a day other than Christmas Day still incorporates them into my holiday season, just not on Christmas and is in now way, shape, or form abandonment. It seems as though you are trying to use hyperbole and/or guilt to force me into agreeing with you. Also, you don't know who has or hasn't been there for me during my life. That's a stupid assumption you're making about anyone who doesn't spend Christmas day with their entire family.
I'm not talking about you,specifically, I'm talking about society in general and the things we accept as the norm without thinking them through. I'm addressing an idea you presented rather than your individual situation.
it has always just been my mom, dad, and sister for the holidays. my dad was in the army while i was growing up, so it was always a special treat for us to be able to travel from ft. knox, ky to either louisiana (mom's family) or florida (dad's family) to spend the holidays.
normally we'd alternate between the two for thanksgiving and christmas.
as for traditions...we always open all of our presents under the tree on christmas eve, usually after my mom gets off of work or i get into town from tampa after working. then "santa" comes on christmas day...followed by christmas dinner.
i'm really excited that this is my first christmas since college, where i'll be able to spend 2 entire days with my family...then back to work on the 26th...boo!
yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
I'm not talking about you,specifically, I'm talking about society in general and the things we accept as the norm without thinking them through. I'm addressing an idea you presented rather than your individual situation.
Bullshit. We disagreed about something, spoke our different opinions, and you broaden the scope to "society in general" in an effort to be right. There is no right or wrong with this. It's whatever one feels comfortable with in terms of their family and ideals, regardless of whether it's your own belief or tradition.
greentea, why dont you get back to us when you're married. You like to tell everyone what to do and one parent gets the kid and crap. Why dont you speak out so strongly on the subject when it actually effects you. Being in a relationship is about sharing. Youre so naive for your age. Good luck with a solid relationship someday, if you can't share holidays there will be many more challenging things that will come your way.
And btw, not all people had a rosey childhood and are therefore stepping out on people who were always there for them. You get down on soulsinging for generalizing, but yet you think everyone should fit this weird holiday mold of yours. Give me a break.
Bullshit. We disagreed about something, spoke our different opinions, and you broaden the scope to "society in general" in an effort to be right. There is no right or wrong with this. It's whatever one feels comfortable with in terms of their family and ideals, regardless of whether it's your own belief or tradition.
no, I've been thinking of it that way from the beginning. why would I speak directly to your specifics? that's pointless, I don't even know anything about them. You present an idea, I speak to it and so forth. that's what forums are for. I am presenting an idea as well, and using specific examples to illustrate it. we both are.
greentea, why dont you get back to us when you're married. You like to tell everyone what to do and one parent gets the kid and crap. Why dont you speak out so strongly on the subject when it actually effects you. Being in a relationship is about sharing. Youre so naive for your age. Good luck with a solid relationship someday, if you can't share holidays there will be many more challenging things that will come your way.
And btw, not all people had a rosey childhood and are therefore stepping out on people who were always there for them. You get down on soulsinging for generalizing, but yet you think everyone should fit this weird holiday mold of yours. Give me a break.
1) why do you assume I'm getting married? I might, I might not. Everyone might, everyone might not. this is exactly the type of assumptions I have to speak against.
2) It DOES effect me. it affects everyone. it's the way we think of things and the conventional wisdom. it can be damaging if followed blindly.
3) Why do you assume that I am assuming that everyone has a perfect childhood with people who have been there for them? of course I'm not. But if someone HAS had that they should take these people who care about them into consideration and value all their relationships equally. that's basically all I'm saying- in this society we tend to value romantic relationships more than any others, and there is no logical reason to do so. It can in fact be damaging. I've been reading a lot about this lately.
1) why do you assume I'm getting married? I might, I might not. Everyone might, everyone might not. this is exactly the type of assumptions I have to speak against.
2) It DOES effect me. it affects everyone. it's the way we think of things and the conventional wisdom. it can be damaging if followed blindly.
3) Why do you assume that I am assuming that everyone has a perfect childhood with people who have been there for them? of course I'm not. But if someone HAS had that they should take these people who care about them into consideration and value all their relationships equally. that's basically all I'm saying- in this society we tend to value romantic relationships more than any others, and there is no logical reason to do so. It can in fact be damaging. I've been reading a lot about this lately.
I didn't mean it like I assume you'll get married but more like walk a mile in my shoes. I never imagined Christmas any different then it was growing up, but things change.
I guess I'm lucky that my husband wants to see my brother who almost died in November. His family seems to totally support that too. I guess when you want to make it work out you just do.
I didn't mean it like I assume you'll get married but more like walk a mile in my shoes. I never imagined Christmas any different then it was growing up, but things change.
I guess I'm lucky that my husband wants to see my brother who almost died in November. His family seems to totally support that too. I guess when you want to make it work out you just do.
that's what I'm saying though, I mean sometimes it's fine as long as no one is left alone or upset by it. but I know so many people who are all dramatic about it like "well we can't decide if we should go to my mother's in Rhode Island or his father's in california and this person is bent out of shape if we go here and this other person is bent out of shape if we go there, and we might just hole up and have christmas ourselves because we can't deal with it and I value my relationship with my partner more than my [perfectly good] family relationship anyway." the answer is right under your nose. the only reason people don't see it is that they ASSUME that since they are a romantic couple (maybe not even married) they have to chose as a unit. Just split up! the reason that people are bent out of shape isn't because they have some sort of problem, it's because they love you and want to see you.
Christmas does lose its magic after the secret of Santa is revealed. But for those of us that have kids, you get it back because you're the one creating it now. I'm not saying run out and have kids just so you'll like Christmas again. I'm just saying that's what it does for me.
BUT, if you don't have kids or don't plan to have any, then you don't have to experience a night like I had last night with a sick 6 month old who couldn't sleep more than 47 seconds at a time. Fuck that shit.
Christmas does lose its magic after the secret of Santa is revealed. But for those of us that have kids, you get it back because you're the one creating it now. I'm not saying run out and have kids just so you'll like Christmas again. I'm just saying that's what it does for me.
BUT, if you don't have kids or don't plan to have any, then you don't have to experience a night like I had last night with a sick 6 month old who couldn't sleep more than 47 seconds at a time. Fuck that shit.
See, there's checks and balances in everything.
I'm just counting on my brother to have kids so I can do things like santa with them and not do things like puking with them.
Christmas does lose its magic after the secret of Santa is revealed. But for those of us that have kids, you get it back because you're the one creating it now. I'm not saying run out and have kids just so you'll like Christmas again. I'm just saying that's what it does for me.
BUT, if you don't have kids or don't plan to have any, then you don't have to experience a night like I had last night with a sick 6 month old who couldn't sleep more than 47 seconds at a time. Fuck that shit.
See, there's checks and balances in everything.
I'm sorry. :( Is he feeling better now? Are YOU?
Oh, and I saw your xmas card but was too tired/lazy to comment on it last night. That was fucking adorable.
I'm just counting on my brother to have kids so I can do things like santa with them and not do things like puking with them.
Holy shit! Funny you mention that. My baby boy has never puked on me. He does on my daughter ALL the time. Yesterday, I had held him for about an hour and my daughter got home from B-Ball practice. She grabs him from me, walks 10 feet, and he put some puke on her that would be similar to what happened to Bill Murray in Ghostbusters when he got slimed. Awful....ahhh, the joys of parenthood.
Oh, and I saw your xmas card but was too tired/lazy to comment on it last night. That was fucking adorable.
Thanks sista. And yes, the baby is doing better today. He got his shots yesterday plus he has a cold. He'll be 100% by Christmas.
You know, I may not be able to do shit else, but I can generate some cute kids. The inside of my ball bag is like a carnival for beautiful future babies;)
Holy shit! Funny you mention that. My baby boy has never puked on me. He does on my daughter ALL the time. Yesterday, I had held him for about an hour and my daughter got home from B-Ball practice. She grabs him from me, walks 10 feet, and he put some puke on her that would be similar to what happened to Bill Murray in Ghostbusters when he got slimed. Awful....ahhh, the joys of parenthood.
I babysat 2 kids for a summer job in college. one day I show up and the mum goes "by the way the older one has been sick and throwing up a lot so don't give her anything but water." I wanted to bolt at that point...I do not do kid vomit.
I babysat 2 kids for a summer job in college. one day I show up and the mum goes "by the way the older one has been sick and throwing up a lot so don't give her anything but water." I wanted to bolt at that point...I do not do kid vomit.
My other two have blasted me many times. There's nothing like the smell of warm baby formula puke coupled with matting up in your chest hair. 6 showers won't wash that smell off. I'll admit, I don't like the baby years as much as I do the later years. My big boy is playing sports which is awesome. My girl is playing too but she also likes to write songs with me, and she's 10. Plus, neither one of them puke on me. BUT, I still have to wipe my son's ass.
My other two have blasted me many times. There's nothing like the smell of warm baby formula puke coupled with matting up in your chest hair. 6 showers won't wash that smell off. I'll admit, I don't like the baby years as much as I do the later years. My big boy is playing sports which is awesome. My girl is playing too but she also likes to write songs with me, and she's 10. Plus, neither one of them puke on me. BUT, I still have to wipe my son's ass.
Circle of like man! He'll be wiping your ass one day so all will even out.
True Story.
I'll remember these times. I'll be 84 and tell him I'm finished and when he comes in to handle business, I'm gonna shit in his hands. Then I'll turn around and say "Payback's a motherfucker. Now clean me up sport."
1) why do you assume I'm getting married? I might, I might not. Everyone might, everyone might not. this is exactly the type of assumptions I have to speak against.
2) It DOES effect me. it affects everyone. it's the way we think of things and the conventional wisdom. it can be damaging if followed blindly.
3) Why do you assume that I am assuming that everyone has a perfect childhood with people who have been there for them? of course I'm not. But if someone HAS had that they should take these people who care about them into consideration and value all their relationships equally. that's basically all I'm saying- in this society we tend to value romantic relationships more than any others, and there is no logical reason to do so. It can in fact be damaging. I've been reading a lot about this lately.
1) Can you be anymore of a party pooper?
2) Why must you insist on everyone being as miserable as you?
3) Please don't anyone misunderstand. These questions are not geared toward anyone specifically, just general questions pertaining to today's society..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
greentea, why dont you get back to us when you're married. You like to tell everyone what to do and one parent gets the kid and crap. Why dont you speak out so strongly on the subject when it actually effects you. Being in a relationship is about sharing. Youre so naive for your age. Good luck with a solid relationship someday, if you can't share holidays there will be many more challenging things that will come your way.
And btw, not all people had a rosey childhood and are therefore stepping out on people who were always there for them. You get down on soulsinging for generalizing, but yet you think everyone should fit this weird holiday mold of yours. Give me a break.
I'd have agree with the comment 'if you can't share holidays there will be many more challenging things that will come your way.' May this be the least of people's problems..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
I'll remember these times. I'll be 84 and tell him I'm finished and when he comes in to handle business, I'm gonna shit in his hands. Then I'll turn around and say "Payback's a motherfucker. Now clean me up sport."
I can't wait:)
Then give him a little pinch on his cheek and with a twinkle in his eye he will call the retirement home which has been on speed dial since the day you moved in!
"The leads are weak!"
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
2) Why must you insist on everyone being as miserable as you?
3) Please don't anyone misunderstand. These questions are not geared toward anyone specifically, just general questions pertaining to today's society..
I'm not miserable in the least. I just read and think.
Comments
Well then who takes the kid with them?
My husband *is* part of my family. In fact, when I say "my family", I'm referring to my mom, sister & brother, my husband, our kid, my husband's parents and my husband's brother.
hmm. see I don't think is very considerate of you (I don't mean to be mean, I don't have anything against you or anything, I'm just reading and replying in my honest opinion, and your's is fine too). Because what about the family members? I mean my cousins have all basically taken the approach you describe here- they only want to be with their partners and their own kids on christmas. And now, christmas sucks for those of us who used to enjoy seeing them. Isn't christmas supposed to be about spending time with loved ones you don't see every day and having lots of friends and family around? what you describe is like the opposite of that- very insular.
oh p.s. I don't think of husbands and wives as being "family" in the traditional sense really, especially if you don't have any kids.
well the kid can switch off from year to year or the owners of the kid can invite everyone to their house.
I understand it may be more of a logistical issue with kids, but people who don't have any kids shouldn't have a problem.
That's insane. lol
Though, we did do the latter for thanksgiving. We would love to do every holiday that way, actually, but my family can't come out for xmas, too.
And really, Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of Jesus, but I don't want to open up that discussion. Your interpretation of what to do on and around Christmas is just that, your interpretation. If that's what you like then more power to you.
I just don't think that people should abandon the people who have been there for them for their entire lives just because they moved in with someone else.
I'm not talking about you,specifically, I'm talking about society in general and the things we accept as the norm without thinking them through. I'm addressing an idea you presented rather than your individual situation.
normally we'd alternate between the two for thanksgiving and christmas.
as for traditions...we always open all of our presents under the tree on christmas eve, usually after my mom gets off of work or i get into town from tampa after working. then "santa" comes on christmas day...followed by christmas dinner.
i'm really excited that this is my first christmas since college, where i'll be able to spend 2 entire days with my family...then back to work on the 26th...boo!
And btw, not all people had a rosey childhood and are therefore stepping out on people who were always there for them. You get down on soulsinging for generalizing, but yet you think everyone should fit this weird holiday mold of yours. Give me a break.
no, I've been thinking of it that way from the beginning. why would I speak directly to your specifics? that's pointless, I don't even know anything about them. You present an idea, I speak to it and so forth. that's what forums are for. I am presenting an idea as well, and using specific examples to illustrate it. we both are.
1) why do you assume I'm getting married? I might, I might not. Everyone might, everyone might not. this is exactly the type of assumptions I have to speak against.
2) It DOES effect me. it affects everyone. it's the way we think of things and the conventional wisdom. it can be damaging if followed blindly.
3) Why do you assume that I am assuming that everyone has a perfect childhood with people who have been there for them? of course I'm not. But if someone HAS had that they should take these people who care about them into consideration and value all their relationships equally. that's basically all I'm saying- in this society we tend to value romantic relationships more than any others, and there is no logical reason to do so. It can in fact be damaging. I've been reading a lot about this lately.
I guess I'm lucky that my husband wants to see my brother who almost died in November. His family seems to totally support that too. I guess when you want to make it work out you just do.
that's what I'm saying though, I mean sometimes it's fine as long as no one is left alone or upset by it. but I know so many people who are all dramatic about it like "well we can't decide if we should go to my mother's in Rhode Island or his father's in california and this person is bent out of shape if we go here and this other person is bent out of shape if we go there, and we might just hole up and have christmas ourselves because we can't deal with it and I value my relationship with my partner more than my [perfectly good] family relationship anyway." the answer is right under your nose. the only reason people don't see it is that they ASSUME that since they are a romantic couple (maybe not even married) they have to chose as a unit. Just split up! the reason that people are bent out of shape isn't because they have some sort of problem, it's because they love you and want to see you.
BUT, if you don't have kids or don't plan to have any, then you don't have to experience a night like I had last night with a sick 6 month old who couldn't sleep more than 47 seconds at a time. Fuck that shit.
See, there's checks and balances in everything.
Why would you start was has no end?
I'm just counting on my brother to have kids so I can do things like santa with them and not do things like puking with them.
I'm sorry. :( Is he feeling better now? Are YOU?
Oh, and I saw your xmas card but was too tired/lazy to comment on it last night. That was fucking adorable.
Holy shit! Funny you mention that. My baby boy has never puked on me. He does on my daughter ALL the time. Yesterday, I had held him for about an hour and my daughter got home from B-Ball practice. She grabs him from me, walks 10 feet, and he put some puke on her that would be similar to what happened to Bill Murray in Ghostbusters when he got slimed. Awful....ahhh, the joys of parenthood.
Why would you start was has no end?
Thanks sista. And yes, the baby is doing better today. He got his shots yesterday plus he has a cold. He'll be 100% by Christmas.
You know, I may not be able to do shit else, but I can generate some cute kids. The inside of my ball bag is like a carnival for beautiful future babies;)
Why would you start was has no end?
I babysat 2 kids for a summer job in college. one day I show up and the mum goes "by the way the older one has been sick and throwing up a lot so don't give her anything but water." I wanted to bolt at that point...I do not do kid vomit.
My other two have blasted me many times. There's nothing like the smell of warm baby formula puke coupled with matting up in your chest hair. 6 showers won't wash that smell off. I'll admit, I don't like the baby years as much as I do the later years. My big boy is playing sports which is awesome. My girl is playing too but she also likes to write songs with me, and she's 10. Plus, neither one of them puke on me. BUT, I still have to wipe my son's ass.
True Story.
That sucks.
Why would you start was has no end?
Circle of like man! He'll be wiping your ass one day so all will even out.
True Story.
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
"What's your name?"
"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
Hey Oprah - Merry Christmas!!!
I'll remember these times. I'll be 84 and tell him I'm finished and when he comes in to handle business, I'm gonna shit in his hands. Then I'll turn around and say "Payback's a motherfucker. Now clean me up sport."
I can't wait:)
Why would you start was has no end?
Merry Christmas Steven. I love to turn you on too.
Why would you start was has no end?
1) Can you be anymore of a party pooper?
2) Why must you insist on everyone being as miserable as you?
3) Please don't anyone misunderstand. These questions are not geared toward anyone specifically, just general questions pertaining to today's society..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
I'd have agree with the comment 'if you can't share holidays there will be many more challenging things that will come your way.' May this be the least of people's problems..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Then give him a little pinch on his cheek and with a twinkle in his eye he will call the retirement home which has been on speed dial since the day you moved in!
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
"What's your name?"
"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
I'm not miserable in the least. I just read and think.