how do you find yourself?

Snake

Well I found myself hiding in the corner, after I got me out of the corner ive been best buds with myself.

But seriously, You dont necessarily have to look, just be. Allow you to be you, void of outside influences as of who you should be. It will come in its own time.


Hope that helps

Positive vibes

CHANGEinWAVES

Snake wrote:

Well I found myself hiding in the corner, after I got me out of the corner ive been best buds with myself.

But seriously, You dont necessarily have to look, just be. Allow you to be you, void of outside influences as of who you should be. It will come in its own time.


Hope that helps

Positive vibes

Thank you:)
The positive vibes do help!

writersu

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

WOW! this defines my life now! Even though we're getting divorced he's the one everything revolves around since HE'S doing the steps...and he gets to put me down for being the co-dependent. The other day he even told me something i said was co-dependent speak and i needed to work on that....HE TOLD ME I NEEDED TO WORK ON SOMETHING!
i guess why i need to find myself is because who i thought i was after 10 years with him is not who i want to be...i need to be myself with out him.

The worse abuse is mental abuse because our minds are webbed around these words and the more we here them, the more we are sucked into it all. And I don't care how confident you are you cannot hear those words and not be consumed by self doubt.
But the truth is that you really can't be with someone like that unless you have some issues to; if I had it more together when I met the creep, I am sure I would have seen the red flags before they turned into a forest fire.

I know what you mean about the "who we are" thing, though. If it gives you any hope at all, some people say we all change every few years, so maybe the rethinking about your life is not a bad thing. Just try to disconnect him from the picture. Get really sharp scissors..........

FinsburyParkCarrots

By thinking everybody else is lost.

writersu

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

By thinking everybody else is lost.

once again, Mr Blue Eyes has it answered...............

CHANGEinWAVES

writersu wrote:

Just try to disconnect him from the picture. Get really sharp scissors..........

and a good lawyer;)

musicismylife78

I think looking at people like kerouac, or hesse, you need to realize ultimately they spent their entire lives trying to find themselves. Or Zach Braff who has made a career of choosing roles where they all are about finding yourself. Lats Kiss, Garden State and Scrubs are all about finding yourself. The guy has made all this movies and tv shows all about a person who is trying to find themself. And he is 33 years old.

For me its been a wild journey. A breakdown. A cross country trip to a commune. Many long nights and days in angush wondering what to do with my life and wondering what my path was.

One day I started volunteering at a music venue. I got a feeling I cant entirely explain or communicate. All I know is, I think about it day and night. I need to be around music and this venue. I eat breath and sleep music. It envades my sleep.

So have I completely found myself? No. But the pieces have begun to fall together. I know my destiny is in music, what that means really i have no idea.

So all I can say is, you will find yourself. The fact you are engaged in trying to find yourself is a good sign.

It took awhile to find myself and my purpose and I still am looking. It seemed like I would never reach this point. Even though I know I want to spend my life in music, i dont know in what aspect that will mean. And of course I have to get a job in that sector.

If finding onesself, having something that you do, that you dont care if you get paid for, that you want to spend all day around, and feel like yourself, and feel alive around it, then yes I found myself.

muppet

Haven't read the thread and sorry if I sound like a cynic but trying to "find yourself" is bullshit. I mean, what does it even mean?

dunkman

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

Honestly, I don't even know where to start looking!

Hall of Mirrors at Blackpool Pleasure Beach.

writersu

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

and a good lawyer;)

let me know if you find a good 2 for 1 sale

writersu

muppet wrote:

Haven't read the thread and sorry if I sound like a cynic but trying to "find yourself" is bullshit. I mean, what does it even mean?

But yes, finding yourself is for the people who are truly enightened and want to find the things perhaps they lost on the way in their lives.

And by the way, "enlightened" doesn't mean that anyone is better than anyone else. it just means that we are traded off these enlightened qualiities because we lost other things. It's a reward for the pain.

Does that mean, I am better than you if you claim to not need to find yourself? No, it just means that you may consider yourself fortuneate to not need to do this task. And on some days I am sure that those of us looking will look to those like you and say we wish our lives could be easier and not need to have to find ourselves because it is a painful, gritty ,"get your hands dirty" process. But just like all of our chores in life, the ones we most dread perhaps, after we are done, beat up, bloody, worn out, exhausted maybe, we look at our work and say, "Damn I am glad I did that. I wouldn't have it any other way."

So, please, as I have been polite to you, don't discount those of us who are needing to see just who we are as losers, or as those who are disillusioned. We are those running the same race as you are and not trying to win at anything, just trying to get to where we need to be.

And honestly, friend, you haven't had to ever get back to anything in your life after you have had a bad thing happen to you that left you feeling out of sorts?

Black Diamond

Took a month long trip to New Zealand. I had just gotten out of a miserable marriage and was completely lost. Went with 3 friends and discovered many more as we backpacked on the 2 islands.

Also Bungee Jumping, ice climbing, 4 day trek in rainforest helped a lot.