The Younger Man????

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  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    comebackgirl wrote:
    My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.

    yes I ran into some of what you're describing too.

    Also, in terms of like culture/pop culture it can be weird. it's not a big deal of course, but I was horrified when I first met my ex boyfriend and he had NO IDEA who slash was!!!
  • urbanhippie
    urbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    comebackgirl wrote:
    My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.
    This is so true. Being older and having children may mean more 'life experience' but only in certain areas. It's the realisation that he can show me as much about life as I can show him, in different ways.

    I can get as much support as I can give, for all that he's younger.

    I think it's harder for a woman coming into a relationship as the older partner. It feels weird, but once you get over it it's just great.....And of course, the benefits of all that useful youth and vigour ;)
    A human being that was given to fly.

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  • pink1969
    pink1969 Posts: 245
    urbanhippie wrote:
    .....And of course, the benefits of all that useful youth and vigour ;)

    right on girl!!
    Shine on all you crazy diamonds!!!!
    Angel

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  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    CityMouse wrote:
    yes I ran into some of what you're describing too.

    Also, in terms of like culture/pop culture it can be weird. it's not a big deal of course, but I was horrified when I first met my ex boyfriend and he had NO IDEA who slash was!!!
    hahaha - that's funny!

    Fortunatley his taste in music (obviously, since we met here!) and movies is the same as mine...so that part has been easy. It's just been mostly the life experience stuff.

    Some of my friends/family judged the age difference BEFORE they met him...but once they met him they all completely understood why we're together...which is exactly what I knew would happen.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    urbanhippie wrote:
    This is so true. Being older and having children may mean more 'life experience' but only in certain areas. It's the realisation that he can show me as much about life as I can show him, in different ways.

    I can get as much support as I can give, for all that he's younger.

    I think it's harder for a woman coming into a relationship as the older partner. It feels weird, but once you get over it it's just great.....And of course, the benefits of all that useful youth and vigour ;)
    Those benefits cannot be underestimated! :D I have A LOT of energy...he's the first person that has ALMOST been able to keep up with me :p

    But yeah...he gives me as much as support as I give him. He's definitely better at being patient. I think we balance each other out.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    comebackgirl wrote:
    My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.


    Not that you've said anything bad here or anything, but for some reason I'm glad my SO doesn't post in the pit.
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  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Not that you've said anything bad here or anything, but for some reason I'm glad my SO doesn't post in the pit.
    It's all stuff we've talked about a million times anyway...and sometimes it can surprisingly make it easier to talk about stuff.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    comebackgirl wrote:
    I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...


    this wold be a deal breaker for me....i've been 23, 24 etc....i really don't want to go through it again....if i wanted to be with someone i'd rather she be closer in age and experience....but that's me....;) :)
  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    cutback wrote:
    this wold be a deal breaker for me....i've been 23, 24 etc....i really don't want to go through it again....if i wanted to be with someone i'd rather she be closer in age and experience....but that's me....;) :)
    Yeah...I thought it would have been for me too...but I guess you don't really know until it happens. Then again I was married at 22 and wasn't the typical 22 year old either...so I know it's possible to be mature and have a mature relationship at that age...which I had to remind myself of to erase some of my skepticism
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • markymark550
    markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,224
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Not that you've said anything bad here or anything, but for some reason I'm glad my SO doesn't post in the pit.
    I think everyone's significant other should be forced to post here. I think it would drastically limit the number of threads with people complaining about their significant other. Wait a minute....that would make this place more boring than a conference of librarians....
  • curmudgeoness
    curmudgeoness Brigadoon, foodie capital Posts: 4,130
    Go for it! He's 27, not 18 or 19. Besides, were your genders reversed, and you were a 39-year-old guy dating a younger woman, I doubt that you would give the age difference much thought.
    All those who seek to destroy the liberties of a democratic nation ought to know that war is the surest and shortest means to accomplish it.
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    comebackgirl wrote:
    Yeah...I thought it would have been for me too...but I guess you don't really know until it happens. Then again I was married at 22 and wasn't the typical 22 year old either...so I know it's possible to be mature and have a mature relationship at that age...which I had to remind myself of to erase some of my skepticism

    of course love can change all...if i happen to meet "the girl" and she was 10+ years younger i'd adjust.....much like you have with tim....but if i were looking for a gf i would probably look for someone closer in age....:)
  • meistereder
    meistereder Posts: 1,577
    I am the younger man in my relatiionship. I am 34 and my girlfriend is 42, so that's not huge but I have usually been in the opposite situation.

    I like it. I find we are way more in sync than any other relationship I have been in.
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  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    cutback wrote:
    of course love can change all...if i happen to meet "the girl" and she was 10+ years younger i'd adjust.....much like you have with tim....but if i were looking for a gf i would probably look for someone closer in age....:)
    I completely understand. I never imagined I would fall in love with someone that much younger...or that it would work...and neither did he - so it definitely caught us both off guard. I'm just glad neither one of us ruled it out just based on the number
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    comebackgirl wrote:
    It's all stuff we've talked about a million times anyway...and sometimes it can surprisingly make it easier to talk about stuff.


    Well that's good. My wife would tell everyone that I'm really a nice person and I can't have that. I have a reputation to maintain.
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  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Well that's good. My wife would tell everyone that I'm really a nice person and I can't have that. I have a reputation to maintain.
    haha - well your secret is safe ;)
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    Go for it! Why not?

    I've noticed that a lot of finely seasoned women ;) are interested in me. At first my friends and I sort of joked about it, now it has become an indisputable fact. Half of my friends' mothers thinks I'm cute, attractive, even hot... some told me 'if only they were a little bit younger' and some even said 'if only they weren't married' :eek: A lady even started rubbing my leg on the train... That was weird.
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Well that's good. My wife would tell everyone that I'm really a nice person and I can't have that. I have a reputation to maintain.

    don't worry...we all know you're a prick ;)
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    cutback wrote:
    don't worry...we all know you're a prick ;)

    Thank god someone has been paying attention.
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