The Younger Man????

KosmicJelli

After about a year of hanging out with mutual friends....a guy whom is 27 has become romantically interested in me. I admit, I too, have become interested!!!! He's is super cute and nice as hell but I am afraid of our age difference. Ahem! I am going to be 39 in a few weeks and found out his dad is only 6 years older than I. I think it would be a great relationship we get along real well and know each other's personality. However the age thing really worries me... am I just trying to prevent myself from any happiness whatsoever? So what is your opinion? :P

eyedclaar

Rock the cradle of love!

pink1969

If the feelings are there, then take a chance. He's no where near a minor, and if he knows how old you are and he's still interested, then why not? You never know, it might be great!

Gremmie95

I suppose it depends on what you want to get out of it.

When I was 18 I dated a 33 year old for about 3 months. It was all about the sex and LORDY it was a fantastic learning lesson for me!!! Then again, that was all either of us were looking for....maybe I'm not the best person to respond to your question.

KosmicJelli

eyedclaar wrote:

Rock the cradle of love!

LOL... well with that... I think I have the answer!

PJSerf

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number....

share

Relax.
When you are 95 and he is 83 then you can start to worry.

urbanhippie

KosmicJelli wrote:

After about a year of hanging out with mutual friends....a guy whom is 27 has become romantically interested in me. I admit, I too, have become interested!!!! He's is super cute and nice as hell but I am afraid of our age difference. Ahem! I am going to be 39 in a few weeks and found out his dad is only 6 years older than I. I think it would be a great relationship we get along real well and know each other's personality. However the age thing really worries me... am I just trying to prevent myself from any happiness whatsoever? So what is your opinion? :P

I say go for it.... Age is just a number and he's old enough to know what he wants. He's not a kid, by any means..see where it takes you both.
Of course, I have a biased opinion as my boyfriend is younger than me by 7 years
But my Dad is 8 years older than my Mum and my brother in law is 8 years older than my sister and it seems to have worked out for them. As long as you both have the same expectations and the honesty to see that each others needs may be different from your own and, of course, the will to meet those needs then you have as much chance of happiness as anyone.

You're both adults, so go for it and good luck

saveuplife

I don't know. I think you should give it a go.

Here's the thing, it's most likely not going to work out in the very very long run. So, it depends on the type of person you are. Are you someone who is really interested in marriage and something long term? Or Are you someone who's more willing to enjoy the present moment and can not worry what's going to happen a year from now?

Neither is bad or wrong. Just different. If your willing to start casual and just have fun (more like the second quality I described above), I say go for it. If you are looking for something longer term and really serious, I say move on.

Just my opinion.

KosmicJelli

saveuplife wrote:

I don't know. I think you should give it a go.

Here's the thing, it's most likely not going to work out in the very very long run. So, it depends on the type of person you are. Are you someone who is really interested in marriage and something long term? Or Are you someone who's more willing to enjoy the present moment and can not worry what's going to happen a year from now?

Neither is bad or wrong. Just different. If your willing to start casual and just have fun (more like the second quality I described above), I say go for it. If you are looking for something longer term and really serious, I say move on.

Just my opinion.

Well for the past year its been "the fun thing" without the sex part... Id like to keep it fun with the sex and see where its goes... I mean, our friendship has carried us this far.

my2hands

some of us men in our late 20's are mature enough to handle a more mature woman... some of us, not all of us :cool:

if he treats you well and you can hold an actual conversation then i dont see the porblem at all

KosmicJelli

my2hands wrote:

some of us men in our late 20's are mature enough to handle a more mature woman... some of us, not all]/i] of us :cool:

if he treats you well and you can hold an actual conversation then i dont see the porblem at all

Hmmmm... never thought of it that way... he is mature for his age and me just a bit immature... we kinda meet in the middle...

saveuplife

KosmicJelli wrote:

Well for the past year its been "the fun thing" without the sex part... Id like to keep it fun with the sex and see where its goes... I mean, our friendship has carried us this far.

Well, I think you know the answer then.

Stop making us all jealous.

KosmicJelli

urbanhippie wrote:

I say go for it.... Age is just a number and he's old enough to know what he wants. He's not a kid, by any means..see where it takes you both.
Of course, I have a biased opinion as my boyfriend is younger than me by 7 years
But my Dad is 8 years older than my Mum and my brother in law is 8 years older than my sister and it seems to have worked out for them. As long as you both have the same expectations and the honesty to see that each others needs may be different from your own and, of course, the will to meet those needs then you have as much chance of happiness as anyone.

You're both adults, so go for it and good luck

Woohoo!!! Thanks!!! I like we are both adults... u are right what he hell why not!!! Thanks gonna need the luck... I am truly unsucessful when it comes to men.

share

KosmicJelli wrote:

... I am truly unsucessful when it comes to men.

does he have a sister?

markymark550

I say go for it. People get too hung up about age. If the foundation is there and mutual interest for a romantic relationship exists, you owe it to yourself to give it a chance. I think you'd regret not giving it a chance more than if you do have a relationship that ends. And that's just assuming that things won't work out. Who knows, he could be the love of your life. Are you really willing to risk that just because of an age difference?

decides2dream

KosmicJelli wrote:

After about a year of hanging out with mutual friends....a guy whom is 27 has become romantically interested in me. I admit, I too, have become interested!!!! He's is super cute and nice as hell but I am afraid of our age difference. Ahem! I am going to be 39 in a few weeks and found out his dad is only 6 years older than I. I think it would be a great relationship we get along real well and know each other's personality. However the age thing really worries me... am I just trying to prevent myself from any happiness whatsoever? So what is your opinion? :P

GO FOR IT!


truly, what do you have to lose here that is any different from starting a relationship with someone closer in age? nothing. and hell, at the very least...open you up to fresh perspectives, and i'd bet a whole lotta fun. enjoy it...see where it goes.....just live!



btw - i say this as a fellow 39 yo.
and sure, the dad thing is a wee bit freaky , but c'est la vie. i am sure when you are having fun and all else...it won't matter.


and i see mark already beat me to it. right on.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

I think everyone should pursue their desires. If you're not sure if something will be a problem or not, then it's not a good enough reason for you not to pursue. Period.

CityMouse

LOVE LOVE LOVE the younger man!!!

I and all my friends have had our best relationships with younger men. None of the age differences were quite as big as this one, but I don't think matters at the point the guy's 27. go for it!

pink1969

my2hands wrote:

some of us men in our late 20's are mature enough to handle a more mature woman... some of us, not all]/i] of us :cool:

if he treats you well and you can hold an actual conversation then i dont see the porblem at all

very true. my husband was 25 and I was 30 when we got married and I was just recently divorced with 2 young kids. he took on a crazy ex-husband and stepkids and we're still married almost 10 years. some guys in thier 20's are more mature than older men imo.

urbanhippie

The age difference freaked me out when I first got together with my bf, but in the end I figured he was worth the try. I assume you already think this as you wouldn't have posted this here. I think the fact you're considering this means you're open to the possibility of a relationship.

It'd be a shame to pass up the chance of true love just 'cos you're afraid of the numbers

comebackwoman

My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.

CityMouse

comebackgirl wrote:

My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.

yes I ran into some of what you're describing too.

Also, in terms of like culture/pop culture it can be weird. it's not a big deal of course, but I was horrified when I first met my ex boyfriend and he had NO IDEA who slash was!!!

urbanhippie

comebackgirl wrote:

My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.

This is so true. Being older and having children may mean more 'life experience' but only in certain areas. It's the realisation that he can show me as much about life as I can show him, in different ways.

I can get as much support as I can give, for all that he's younger.

I think it's harder for a woman coming into a relationship as the older partner. It feels weird, but once you get over it it's just great.....And of course, the benefits of all that useful youth and vigour

pink1969

urbanhippie wrote:

.....And of course, the benefits of all that useful youth and vigour

right on girl!!

comebackwoman

CityMouse wrote:

yes I ran into some of what you're describing too.

Also, in terms of like culture/pop culture it can be weird. it's not a big deal of course, but I was horrified when I first met my ex boyfriend and he had NO IDEA who slash was!!!

hahaha - that's funny!

Fortunatley his taste in music (obviously, since we met here!) and movies is the same as mine...so that part has been easy. It's just been mostly the life experience stuff.

Some of my friends/family judged the age difference BEFORE they met him...but once they met him they all completely understood why we're together...which is exactly what I knew would happen.

comebackwoman

urbanhippie wrote:

This is so true. Being older and having children may mean more 'life experience' but only in certain areas. It's the realisation that he can show me as much about life as I can show him, in different ways.

I can get as much support as I can give, for all that he's younger.

I think it's harder for a woman coming into a relationship as the older partner. It feels weird, but once you get over it it's just great.....And of course, the benefits of all that useful youth and vigour

Those benefits cannot be underestimated! I have A LOT of energy...he's the first person that has ALMOST been able to keep up with me

But yeah...he gives me as much as support as I give him. He's definitely better at being patient. I think we balance each other out.

eyedclaar

comebackgirl wrote:

My opinion is probably biased since my fiance is nearly 11 years younger than me. He's 23...and honestly the age difference freaked the hell out of me at first. I didn't even think of him as a potential partner when we first met mostly because of the age difference. But as we got to know each other better and realized how much we have in common with our thinking, values, etc the age difference seemed to disappear. All of my previous relationships have always been with men who are slightly older than me...but he has been the best match for me. I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...some of the things that are "givens" to me are things that he is just learning. But sometimes this perspective is great - certainly not as jaded or cynical as mine can be at times. But regardless of age, couples always have to bridge gaps in perspectives, experiences etc....so really in the end it's not any different. So - absolutely - if there is a connection, give it a try.

Not that you've said anything bad here or anything, but for some reason I'm glad my SO doesn't post in the pit.

comebackwoman

eyedclaar wrote:

Not that you've said anything bad here or anything, but for some reason I'm glad my SO doesn't post in the pit.

It's all stuff we've talked about a million times anyway...and sometimes it can surprisingly make it easier to talk about stuff.

norm

comebackgirl wrote:

I will be honest - sometimes the age DOES get in the way. I have a lot more experience than him with a lot of things - and sometimes it annoys me that he may look to me to figure things out or handle a situation. I have had to learn a lot of patience (I'm still working on this!) - and realize that a lot of things he has done that have pissed me off are out of inexperience. I have to look at things sometimes through the eyes of a 23 year old, not those of a 34 year old...

this wold be a deal breaker for me....i've been 23, 24 etc....i really don't want to go through it again....if i wanted to be with someone i'd rather she be closer in age and experience....but that's me....;)

comebackwoman

cutback wrote:

this wold be a deal breaker for me....i've been 23, 24 etc....i really don't want to go through it again....if i wanted to be with someone i'd rather she be closer in age and experience....but that's me....;)

Yeah...I thought it would have been for me too...but I guess you don't really know until it happens. Then again I was married at 22 and wasn't the typical 22 year old either...so I know it's possible to be mature and have a mature relationship at that age...which I had to remind myself of to erase some of my skepticism