oh my. . . his wife is the primary 'bread winner" and that can be a burden when there is a small child at home...for either parent to have to leave the home to make the bulk of the living it is a heartbreak. he was simply stating that.
i dunno about that. my dad never seemed to mind so much. i think he enjoyed getting the hell away from the racket to talk sensibly with adults.
oh my. . . his wife is the primary 'bread winner" and that can be a burden when there is a small child at home...for either parent to have to leave the home to make the bulk of the living it is a heartbreak. he was simply stating that. He didn't say that "Because she was a woman she wanted to be at home" that was YOU who said that...you make so many chip on your shoulder inferences that it is unbelievable. once again, He was saying that he felt like he needed to lift some of the burden from his wife since technically the MONEY part of their partnership is only seasonal for him. and seriously - this is the most sexist thing you have heard?? do you have nosebleeds from being up on high??
I started a reply then I read yours... thank you for saying it better than I could.
My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I am speechless no more.....knew it wouldn't last.
ANYONE MALE OR FEMALE who bears the main resposnibility of working and taking care of the financial needs of a family is burdened. Yes it is a burden to know that several others depend on you.
There is NOTHING sexist about that statement. It's actually a caring statement when taken the right way. He wants to care for his family. Good for him!
Unfortunately, if you have to bite the bullet and get a job for desparate financially reasons then do so... everyone has to make the sacrifice. But if you can modify the way you live to stay at home with your kids I suggest you do so!!! Nothing could be more rewarding to have the kids home with a parent...
My husband, who has not a sexist bone in his body, has become sooooo driven to work as much as possible (even if it means getting up at 4 AM...which is SO not him, lol) to financially provide for us nowadays. He was certainly not lazy before our daughter was born or anything like that, but something has changed in him and I think men just naturally put this pressure on themselves to be the provider. While I think that is a societal issue...I also just think it comes with the territory of being a father. Becoming a parent makes you feel differently about things. I don't know how else to put it.
I can definitely see that happening with me
I think our mental make-up is to be that way, also I think if a guy grew up in a house without things (we didnt have a lot growing up) as an adult you want to make sure everything is different for your family
I still kid my wife though and tell her to keep getting raises so I can retire
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
also I think if a guy grew up in a house without things (we didnt have a lot growing up) as an adult you want to make sure everything is different for your family
That's how my dad was. He was actually dirt poor growing up, and worked really hard to get an education and a good salary to make sure that we always had more than enough.
this is literally the most sexist thing I have ever heard. why is working a "burden" for your wife? Why would it be any easier for a woman to not work than it would be "as a man." Like I why would your wife want to stay home just because she's a woman? maybe on a personal/individual level she does prefer to stay home, but it's not because she's a woman and you're a man.
and I am confused, who watches the kid during the months you work?
honestly, after that gypsy thread, I'm really not surprised you feel this way. You say that *I* shouldn't have kids? Personally I'm tired of racists and male chauvinists and other ignorant, closed-minded people being permitted to procreate. I hope your daughter can succeed in life despite growing up in this kind of environment. My dad had very similar opinions to these "roles" of your's, luckily I smart enough to learn he was wrong at an early age, so it can be done.
I honestly just sometimes can't believe the horrible things people say on this board...It's like, shocking. I thought these ideas died during our parents' generation.
Oh get over it. Work is a burden to us ALL.
He's just trying to be a responsible adult for his family.
Also it doesn't sound like he's asking for his wife to quit her job.
Some of you fucking people read WAAAAAAAAAY too much into things. Everything is not so complex.
"I don't believe in PJ fans but I believe there is something, not too sure what." - Thoughts_Arrive
oh my. . . his wife is the primary 'bread winner" and that can be a burden when there is a small child at home...for either parent to have to leave the home to make the bulk of the living it is a heartbreak. he was simply stating that. He didn't say that "Because she was a woman she wanted to be at home" that was YOU who said that...you make so many chip on your shoulder inferences that it is unbelievable. once again, He was saying that he felt like he needed to lift some of the burden from his wife since technically the MONEY part of their partnership is only seasonal for him. and seriously - this is the most sexist thing you have heard?? do you have nosebleeds from being up on high??
he said that his mother and his mother in law does this...remember you took umbrage at that earlier - he was "spoiled" remember???
okay the gypsy thread is not this thread. a person can have multiple facets...i can't even begin to write everything I can think of with this section of your misguided post. seriously - your sniffling hand clasped style of "hoping" for his daughter's sake is really insufferable...and by the way Acoustic Guy isn't your daddy - so maybe you should take your own advice about the therapy thread, and get your daddy aggressions out on someone else. this man was asking for help not condemnation.
Yes I agree, I love the time with her but it can be tough being a man. Its not sexist to say this. I wanna take care of my family and take the burden of work off my wifes shoulders. Whats wrong with that?
Any women here see my point and agree wih me?
I see both of your points. (You and GreenTea).
I feel for you though. I'm going to cry more than him when I send him off to playschool.
I am speechless no more.....knew it wouldn't last.
ANYONE MALE OR FEMALE who bears the main resposnibility of working and taking care of the financial needs of a family is burdened. Yes it is a burden to know that several others depend on you.
There is NOTHING sexist about that statement. It's actually a caring statement when taken the right way. He wants to care for his family. Good for him!
Exactly
Talk about things getting twisted
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Both my brother and I started going to the daycare at 6months of age and we turned out fine (relatively hehehe).
Just do it. Your child will be fine. Plus it's better to subject her to this now, than the first day she has to go to Kindergarten. Don't delay this very normal life experience! It can only hurt her!
Cincinnati '03 Flooded venue!
Bridge School '06 Night 1 & 2
Venice '07 pummeled by the sleet!
Nijmegen '07
Werchter '07
April Fools ~ LA1
oh my. . . his wife is the primary 'bread winner" and that can be a burden when there is a small child at home...for either parent to have to leave the home to make the bulk of the living it is a heartbreak. he was simply stating that. He didn't say that "Because she was a woman she wanted to be at home" that was YOU who said that...you make so many chip on your shoulder inferences that it is unbelievable. once again, He was saying that he felt like he needed to lift some of the burden from his wife since technically the MONEY part of their partnership is only seasonal for him. and seriously - this is the most sexist thing you have heard?? do you have nosebleeds from being up on high??
he said that his mother and his mother in law does this...remember you took umbrage at that earlier - he was "spoiled" remember???
okay the gypsy thread is not this thread. a person can have multiple facets...i can't even begin to write everything I can think of with this section of your misguided post. seriously - your sniffling hand clasped style of "hoping" for his daughter's sake is really insufferable...and by the way Acoustic Guy isn't your daddy - so maybe you should take your own advice about the therapy thread, and get your daddy aggressions out on someone else. this man was asking for help not condemnation.
Hello POT.
(sorry had to borrow that one again.)
Well said,
Thank you.
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
i.e. It's hard to accept the role of the stay-at-home parent because I'm a man.
That IS a mildly sexist statement. That's what GreenTeaDisease is talking about.
I was not saying it to be sexist. I don't agree with people who are sexist. If you can't understand what I'm saying then thats your problem not mine.
I believe that a woman can do everything a man can do.I don't think her place is in the kitchen by any means. But, I feel that a woman has a softer touch when it comes to raising a child. Is that wrong to say? I think I do a awesome job raising my daughter, but I know my wife would be better. She kicks ass at her job and I don't resent her for it in any way. I make my yearly salary in 6 months. I 'm cool with her working. I just want her to not have too. She would rather be a home aswell. Does that make her sexist? No.
Sorry, that how I feel.
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
i.e. It's hard to accept the role of the stay-at-home parent because I'm a man.
That IS a mildly sexist statement. That's what GreenTeaDisease is talking about.
It's his personal opinion and whether you acknowledge it or not it's the way the majority of men feel as well. He's being fucking honest..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Both my brother and I started going to the daycare at 6months of age and we turned out fine (relatively hehehe).
Just do it. Your child will be fine. Plus it's better to subject her to this now, than the first day she has to go to Kindergarten. Don't delay this very normal life experience! It can only hurt her!
This "normal life experience" only started when both parents starting working
We (my brother and I) stayed home with my Mom until Kindgergarten there is nothing wrong with that
Daycare should be avoided if you can, I would rather have family or a parent of the child be home with my child
I don't trust strangers regardless of how many kids today are in Daycare
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
I love how AG's post got him reduced to an ignorant sexist. The whole point was he feels that he's probably better serving his family by making money to lift what might be a financial burden. He's just questioning if it's the correct move or not to benefit his child.
Amazing how people will twist words to make other people look bad.
You want to talk about being ignorant, not being open to the way other people think even when you don't agree or what they may be going through seems ignorant to me.
I love how AG's post got him reduced to an ignorant sexist. The whole point was he feels that he's probably better serving his family by making money to lift what might be a financial burden. He's just questioning if it's the correct move or not to benefit his child.
Amazing how people will twist words to make other people look bad.
You want to talk about being ignorant, not being open to the way other people think even when you don't agree or what they may be going through seems ignorant to me.
Correction, I think only Greentea is guilty of this..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
i'm kind of in a hurry, so i didn't read whole thread, but i haven't noticed anyone commenting on why it is that Acoustic_guy wants to work full time. Meaning both parents are going to be working full time, i mean are you guys in financial difficulty ( which of course is non of my business ), but if you're not then why go and work?? if it's for her tuition fees then i'm sure when she grows up she can take out a loan or go about it in a different way.
my bottom line is she will appreciate having her parents there spending time with her than any fucking nanny, day care centre, so choose wisely
First of all, make sure it's a good place. Accreditation with the NAEYC means they are. Go check a few, go by recommendations by other parents. "almost 2" is a good age to start day care. She will most likely cry. What you can do is to go visit the center with her for a few times and show your enthusiasm for the toys, the kids the teacher. It is IMPERATIVE that you keep a positive attitude even while she cries. Make sure you keep the goodbyes neat and brief.
If it's not now, it's going to be when she is in kindergarten and her time would be better spent learning things than crying about daddy being away.
Good luck to you.
I used to work at a NAEYC accredited child care. Definitely the way to go, and make sure it is accredited within your state, too. Meme wrote some great stuff. Watch for the child/teacher ratio. I worked at one where a couple people had Master's degrees in early childhood education. I learned so much from them because they truly embraced the idea of children growing up, exploring, and being individuals - not a "group" of children. When the parents dropped them off, at first there was that time when the children had to get used to the parents leaving. After a while, the children took it as a matter of course and went straight to play.
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
But the parent's quality of life is important, too. If he doesn't feel personally fulfilled by staying home, then maybe his whole family would be better off if he worked.
Just a thought.
I fully understand both sides of the daycare/stay-at-home parent debate.
But the parent's quality of life is important, too. If he doesn't feel personally fulfilled by staying home, then maybe his whole family would be better off if he worked.
Just a thought.
I fully understand both sides of the daycare/stay-at-home parent debate.
fair enough, i don't know his situation and how he feels so i'm just giving him food for thought.
I was not saying it to be sexist. I don't agree with people who are sexist. If you can't understand what I'm saying then thats your problem not mine.
I believe that a woman can do everything a man can do.I don't think her place is in the kitchen by any means. But, I feel that a woman has a softer touch when it comes to raising a child. Is that wrong to say? I think I do a awesome job raising my daughter, but I know my wife would be better. She kicks ass at her job and I don't resent her for it in any way. I make my yearly salary in 6 months. I 'm cool with her working. I just want her to not have too. She would rather be a home aswell. Does that make her sexist? No.
Sorry, that how I feel.
Look. Sexism, like any other form of prejudice, comes in lots of different packages. It's more than just thinking that a woman should stay in the kitchen, just like how racism is so much more than just calling a person the n-word. Prejudice is about holding views which promote cultural falsehoods.
I'm not saying you're sexist. If you want to work so you can have more resources to provide for your daughter, that's fine. But that one sentence made it sound like you want to work because, as a man, you feel it's your duty to work and a woman's duty to take care of the kids. And yes, that is sexist. You might not have meant it that way, but that's how it sounded to some.
And I'm saying this as a man myself.
It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win
Comments
i dunno about that. my dad never seemed to mind so much. i think he enjoyed getting the hell away from the racket to talk sensibly with adults.
I started a reply then I read yours... thank you for saying it better than I could.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
ANYONE MALE OR FEMALE who bears the main resposnibility of working and taking care of the financial needs of a family is burdened. Yes it is a burden to know that several others depend on you.
There is NOTHING sexist about that statement. It's actually a caring statement when taken the right way. He wants to care for his family. Good for him!
no comment necessary......figure it out
I can definitely see that happening with me
I think our mental make-up is to be that way, also I think if a guy grew up in a house without things (we didnt have a lot growing up) as an adult you want to make sure everything is different for your family
I still kid my wife though and tell her to keep getting raises so I can retire
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
That's how my dad was. He was actually dirt poor growing up, and worked really hard to get an education and a good salary to make sure that we always had more than enough.
Oh get over it. Work is a burden to us ALL.
He's just trying to be a responsible adult for his family.
Also it doesn't sound like he's asking for his wife to quit her job.
Some of you fucking people read WAAAAAAAAAY too much into things. Everything is not so complex.
I see both of your points. (You and GreenTea).
I feel for you though. I'm going to cry more than him when I send him off to playschool.
Exactly
Talk about things getting twisted
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Just do it. Your child will be fine. Plus it's better to subject her to this now, than the first day she has to go to Kindergarten. Don't delay this very normal life experience! It can only hurt her!
Bridge School '06 Night 1 & 2
Venice '07 pummeled by the sleet!
Nijmegen '07
Werchter '07
April Fools ~ LA1
I have to take issue with this. Staying at home with an 18 month old child is certainly *not* going to harm her. That's a little extreme.
Both daycare and staying at home with a parent have benefits and drawbacks. You just have to figure out what works best for the whole family.
i.e. It's hard to accept the role of the stay-at-home parent because I'm a man.
That IS a mildly sexist statement. That's what GreenTeaDisease is talking about.
Well said,
Thank you.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
I was not saying it to be sexist. I don't agree with people who are sexist. If you can't understand what I'm saying then thats your problem not mine.
I believe that a woman can do everything a man can do.I don't think her place is in the kitchen by any means. But, I feel that a woman has a softer touch when it comes to raising a child. Is that wrong to say? I think I do a awesome job raising my daughter, but I know my wife would be better. She kicks ass at her job and I don't resent her for it in any way. I make my yearly salary in 6 months. I 'm cool with her working. I just want her to not have too. She would rather be a home aswell. Does that make her sexist? No.
Sorry, that how I feel.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
It's his personal opinion and whether you acknowledge it or not it's the way the majority of men feel as well. He's being fucking honest..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
This "normal life experience" only started when both parents starting working
We (my brother and I) stayed home with my Mom until Kindgergarten there is nothing wrong with that
Daycare should be avoided if you can, I would rather have family or a parent of the child be home with my child
I don't trust strangers regardless of how many kids today are in Daycare
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Amazing how people will twist words to make other people look bad.
You want to talk about being ignorant, not being open to the way other people think even when you don't agree or what they may be going through seems ignorant to me.
Correction, I think only Greentea is guilty of this..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
my bottom line is she will appreciate having her parents there spending time with her than any fucking nanny, day care centre, so choose wisely
I will break it down in language you understand:
You are not sexist, and the few people who have had a go at you are NUTS!
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
But the parent's quality of life is important, too. If he doesn't feel personally fulfilled by staying home, then maybe his whole family would be better off if he worked.
Just a thought.
I fully understand both sides of the daycare/stay-at-home parent debate.
fair enough, i don't know his situation and how he feels so i'm just giving him food for thought.
It can be difficult to assume a role in which you never imagined yourself. That extends to all aspects of life.
Look. Sexism, like any other form of prejudice, comes in lots of different packages. It's more than just thinking that a woman should stay in the kitchen, just like how racism is so much more than just calling a person the n-word. Prejudice is about holding views which promote cultural falsehoods.
I'm not saying you're sexist. If you want to work so you can have more resources to provide for your daughter, that's fine. But that one sentence made it sound like you want to work because, as a man, you feel it's your duty to work and a woman's duty to take care of the kids. And yes, that is sexist. You might not have meant it that way, but that's how it sounded to some.
And I'm saying this as a man myself.