Of course not. I am 33 and planning (hopefullya) on having kids within the next year to two, I think its a perfect time. Wish I had some already, my siblings each have children and I am an uncle three times with none my own.
>>>>
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
I used to work at a school/hospital that cared for kids who had severe behavioral/emotional disorders. These are kids who were very agressive, either towards others or towards themselves.
I would say, roughly, that they were categorized into the following groups....
25% of the kids had a parent with a BD or ED. (Genetics)
25% of the kids had a parent who did drugs while in utero. (Or gave their kids drugs)
25% of the kids experienced abuse, either sexually, physically, or mentally.
25% of the kids had a mother who gave birth over ther age of 40.
Usually it was easy to spot....interviewing the parent you can pretty much figure out if the kid falls into one of the first three groups.
When they dont, its usually because of #4.
There are other factors as well, but those are the main 4.
I will say that, yes, a mother can give birth to a healthy child after the age of 35 or 40....but.....youd better be in great health, have no family history of those types of disorders (or other disorders) and you better keep off the dope. And dont abuse your kids.
But seriously, I hate to say it, the clock is ticking.
I know. I dont want to rain on anybody's parade or anything. Its just pretty much fact.
The older you are the more of a chance there is for developmental issues with the baby.
And its usually after the age of 40.
Its not definite, just a huge increase in the chance of problems.
The clock is ticking for everyone.
I just think it's a better angle to take to encourage people to make good life choices for themselves instead of perpetuating a sense of urgency and desperation. But then the world is full of silly little ideas about "normal" and what the "ideal" is.
I agree that there is potentially a bigger increase the older a woman is but that's based on current western world statistics and culture.
Women have been giving birth all around the world in their 30s, 40s and beyond for centuries. If nature does want you to give birth in your 40s you won't get pregnant. Simple as that really.
I just think it's a better angle to take to encourage people to make good life choices for themselves instead of perpetuating a sense of urgency and desperation. But then the world is full of silly little ideas about "normal" and what the "ideal" is.
I agree that there is potentially a bigger increase the older a woman is but that's based on current western world statistics and culture.
Women have been giving birth all around the world in their 30s, 40s and beyond for centuries. If nature does want you to give birth in your 40s you won't get pregnant. Simple as that really.
absolutely.
do consider, it is also not necessarily in nature's plan to give you a healthy baby either. giving birth isn't all *it*. and nowadays, oftentimes nature *won't* allow you to get pregnant, but medical intervention does....so there's that too. and.......centuries? hmmmmmmmm. not saying it hasn't happened, but the norm? often? healthy mother and child? hmmmmmm again. and yes, all of this can occur at ANY age....just the likelihood of it increases exponentially with age. it is what it is. it's not 'western' thinking, it's human biology thus far. exceptions, sure...but we are designed the way we are designed.
honestly, i never understand the *arguement* of this topic. don't believe/agree with the stats, think it's the 'sky is falling' mentality or what have you, act accordingly. if you do agree, or at the least believe it's something to consider....also act accordingly. i don't think anyone suggests 'urgency'...just perhaps to think about it. obviously, for most, want a viable partnership first, etc. some that doesn't matter, go for sperm donation, whatever. i don't think *anyone* is suggesting to feel 'pressured'....just really, to be realistic? i think redrock? mentioned it earlier...it is not some divine *right* to procreate, it IS a blessing...if you so desire it. if it's what you want, i hope all get what they desire. but we all also know we don't all get what we all desire, always...and that's life too.
absolutely.
do consider, it is also not necessarily in nature's plan to give you a healthy baby either. giving birth isn't all *it*. and nowadays, oftentimes nature *won't* allow you to get pregnant, but medical intervention does....so there's that too. and.......centuries? hmmmmmmmm. not saying it hasn't happened, but the norm? often? healthy mother and child? hmmmmmm again. and yes, all of this can occur at ANY age....just the likelihood of it increases exponentially with age. it is what it is. it's not 'western' thinking, it's human biology thus far. exceptions, sure...but we are designed the way we are designed.
honestly, i never understand the *arguement* of this topic. don't believe/agree with the stats, think it's the 'sky is falling' mentality or what have you, act accordingly. if you do agree, or at the least believe it's something to consider....also act accordingly. i don't think anyone suggests 'urgency'...just perhaps to think about it. obviously, for most, want a viable partnership first, etc. some that doesn't matter, go for sperm donation, whatever. i don't think *anyone* is suggesting to feel 'pressured'....just really, to be realistic? i think redrock? mentioned it earlier...it is not some divine *right* to procreate, it IS a blessing...if you so desire it. if it's what you want, i hope all get what they desire. but we all also know we don't all get what we all desire, always...and that's life too.
Yeah, I just think, you are born, you live, you die. Everyone's life is unique. A unique set of circumstances that will not be repeated exactly the same ever again.
However your story, your life progresses, is really no one's business but your own. We can spend a lot of time on coulda, shoulda, woulda, but it changes nothing.
If you get pregnant and decide to give birth and raise a child regardless of the choices you make, the decisions you make, circumstance will still apply.
You cannot predict circumstance, so I say just get on with it, whatever it is for you, whenever the opportunity arises and deal with what comes up as it comes up.
Yeah, I just think, you are born, you live, you die. Everyone's life is unique. A unique set of circumstances that will not be repeated exactly the same ever again.
However your story, your life progresses, is really no one's business but your own. We can spend a lot of time on coulda, shoulda, woulda, but it changes nothing.
If you get pregnant and decide to give birth and raise a child regardless of the choices you make, the decisions you make, circumstance will still apply.
You cannot predict circumstance, so I say just get on with it, whatever it is for you, whenever the opportunity arises and deal with what comes up as it comes up.
absolutely.
and choose your happiness within your life, whatever/wherever/whoever it all may be. there's no one *right* way.....just YOUR way. and don't live with regrets over shoulda/woulda/coulda...........life IS what you make it, so why not make it great? no matter WHAT road you take.
absolutely.
and choose your happiness within your life, whatever/wherever/whoever it all may be. there's no one *right* way.....just YOUR way. and don't live with regrets over shoulda/woulda/coulda...........life IS what you make it, so why not make it great? no matter WHAT road you take.
usually yes you have to pay for health care (insurance or out of pocket), but there are many nuances. I think for any pregnant woman there is adequate care provided for by some means. Plenty of low income women who may not have insurance receive prenatal care.
two of my kids were delivered by residents at a teaching hospital that had an attending physician overseeing all of it. It was perfectly safe and I think at the time (like 14 years ago now), I paid under 2000 per prenatal package from time of discovering that I was pregnant until my six week post baby check up. I am not sure if the hospitals still do that now though.
And as for healthcare, in Illinois there is state healthcare that you can apply for and depending on your financial status, you pay a portion of your care or it is offerred for no premium if you should qualify.
As for your original question, I think that it is not too old a lot of women are having kids later in life now it seems. I think you just need to decide in your heart what you will do if you should find out that your baby has a serious disability that would call for some deep soul searching on your thoughts of this sort of thing. you know?
Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
i think it is too old. obviously biologically its an issue, but i think the relationship side of things is even worse off because of the age gap. you will have 60 year olds having early 20's "adults" sharing a house and when adults share a house they clash
you want to argue the 'biology' of it...i'm with ya, but the 60 year old parent with a 20 year old child....errrmmm....not so much. a 40 year old parent with a 20 year old a home, same different. it's parent/child clash...not simply age. why? b/c *I* was that 20 year old daughter.....with a 60 year old mom and a 75 year old father! the *clashes* are no more so than any other parent/child relationship.
beyond the very obvious and real concern for the health of the mother/child, personally my biggest issue in these discussions...the only *real* worry or fear in regards to such an age difference is simply: less time together. yes, parents can and do die at any age, just like a mother can have complications at any age. just that at an advanced age, far more likely. thankfully, be celebrating my mother's 80th birthday in 2 weeks, but my father left us 16 years ago at the age of 78, when i was 23. :(
For all I know, I could have offspring approaching legal childbearing age now. I don't want to think about starting all over, now. I'll leave that to the apocryphal grandchildren in a few years' time.
you want to argue the 'biology' of it...i'm with ya, but the 60 year old parent with a 20 year old child....errrmmm....not so much. a 40 year old parent with a 20 year old a home, same different. it's parent/child clash...not simply age. why? b/c *I* was that 20 year old daughter.....with a 60 year old mom and a 75 year old father! the *clashes* are no more so than any other parent/child relationship.
beyond the very obvious and real concern for the health of the mother/child, personally my biggest issue in these discussions...the only *real* worry or fear in regards to such an age difference is simply: less time together. yes, parents can and do die at any age, just like a mother can have complications at any age. just that at an advanced age, far more likely. thankfully, be celebrating my mother's 80th birthday in 2 weeks, but my father left us 16 years ago at the age of 78, when i was 23. :(
I kind of agree and disagree with this. I think an adult living at home is difficult no matter what the age difference, but I think that age differences can definitely effect how a parent and child get along. I left home at 18 so I can't comment too much on living at home as an adult, but I am the daughter of a "young" mother and an "old" father. My mum was 19 when I was born and dad was 40. I have to say it is much easier to get along with my mum and feel close to her than it is with my dad, and they both raised me together until I was an adult. Now I know part of it has to do with their nature but a big part of it, I believe, is the age difference. You have more in common and have been raised in a more similar era the smaller the age gap so you have the potential to understand each other better and see where the other one comes from. Now having said that I just want to clarify that 1) I think teenage pregnancies are not a good idea and 2) I am not saying you cannot have just as close a bond with an older parent or even grandparent, just I think it is easier to have a closeness when the age gap is not as large.
Comments
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
I would say, roughly, that they were categorized into the following groups....
25% of the kids had a parent with a BD or ED. (Genetics)
25% of the kids had a parent who did drugs while in utero. (Or gave their kids drugs)
25% of the kids experienced abuse, either sexually, physically, or mentally.
25% of the kids had a mother who gave birth over ther age of 40.
Usually it was easy to spot....interviewing the parent you can pretty much figure out if the kid falls into one of the first three groups.
When they dont, its usually because of #4.
There are other factors as well, but those are the main 4.
I will say that, yes, a mother can give birth to a healthy child after the age of 35 or 40....but.....youd better be in great health, have no family history of those types of disorders (or other disorders) and you better keep off the dope. And dont abuse your kids.
But seriously, I hate to say it, the clock is ticking.
Nuclear fission
Then don't.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I know. I dont want to rain on anybody's parade or anything. Its just pretty much fact.
The older you are the more of a chance there is for developmental issues with the baby.
And its usually after the age of 40.
Its not definite, just a huge increase in the chance of problems.
Nuclear fission
The clock is ticking for everyone.
I just think it's a better angle to take to encourage people to make good life choices for themselves instead of perpetuating a sense of urgency and desperation. But then the world is full of silly little ideas about "normal" and what the "ideal" is.
I agree that there is potentially a bigger increase the older a woman is but that's based on current western world statistics and culture.
Women have been giving birth all around the world in their 30s, 40s and beyond for centuries. If nature does want you to give birth in your 40s you won't get pregnant. Simple as that really.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
absolutely.
do consider, it is also not necessarily in nature's plan to give you a healthy baby either. giving birth isn't all *it*. and nowadays, oftentimes nature *won't* allow you to get pregnant, but medical intervention does....so there's that too. and.......centuries? hmmmmmmmm. not saying it hasn't happened, but the norm? often? healthy mother and child? hmmmmmm again. and yes, all of this can occur at ANY age....just the likelihood of it increases exponentially with age. it is what it is. it's not 'western' thinking, it's human biology thus far. exceptions, sure...but we are designed the way we are designed.
honestly, i never understand the *arguement* of this topic. don't believe/agree with the stats, think it's the 'sky is falling' mentality or what have you, act accordingly. if you do agree, or at the least believe it's something to consider....also act accordingly. i don't think anyone suggests 'urgency'...just perhaps to think about it. obviously, for most, want a viable partnership first, etc. some that doesn't matter, go for sperm donation, whatever. i don't think *anyone* is suggesting to feel 'pressured'....just really, to be realistic? i think redrock? mentioned it earlier...it is not some divine *right* to procreate, it IS a blessing...if you so desire it. if it's what you want, i hope all get what they desire. but we all also know we don't all get what we all desire, always...and that's life too.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Yeah, I just think, you are born, you live, you die. Everyone's life is unique. A unique set of circumstances that will not be repeated exactly the same ever again.
However your story, your life progresses, is really no one's business but your own. We can spend a lot of time on coulda, shoulda, woulda, but it changes nothing.
If you get pregnant and decide to give birth and raise a child regardless of the choices you make, the decisions you make, circumstance will still apply.
You cannot predict circumstance, so I say just get on with it, whatever it is for you, whenever the opportunity arises and deal with what comes up as it comes up.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
absolutely.
and choose your happiness within your life, whatever/wherever/whoever it all may be. there's no one *right* way.....just YOUR way. and don't live with regrets over shoulda/woulda/coulda...........life IS what you make it, so why not make it great? no matter WHAT road you take.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
That's it!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
two of my kids were delivered by residents at a teaching hospital that had an attending physician overseeing all of it. It was perfectly safe and I think at the time (like 14 years ago now), I paid under 2000 per prenatal package from time of discovering that I was pregnant until my six week post baby check up. I am not sure if the hospitals still do that now though.
And as for healthcare, in Illinois there is state healthcare that you can apply for and depending on your financial status, you pay a portion of your care or it is offerred for no premium if you should qualify.
As for your original question, I think that it is not too old a lot of women are having kids later in life now it seems. I think you just need to decide in your heart what you will do if you should find out that your baby has a serious disability that would call for some deep soul searching on your thoughts of this sort of thing. you know?
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
you want to argue the 'biology' of it...i'm with ya, but the 60 year old parent with a 20 year old child....errrmmm....not so much. a 40 year old parent with a 20 year old a home, same different. it's parent/child clash...not simply age. why? b/c *I* was that 20 year old daughter.....with a 60 year old mom and a 75 year old father! the *clashes* are no more so than any other parent/child relationship.
beyond the very obvious and real concern for the health of the mother/child, personally my biggest issue in these discussions...the only *real* worry or fear in regards to such an age difference is simply: less time together. yes, parents can and do die at any age, just like a mother can have complications at any age. just that at an advanced age, far more likely. thankfully, be celebrating my mother's 80th birthday in 2 weeks, but my father left us 16 years ago at the age of 78, when i was 23. :(
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Toronto 2011 night 2
Hamilton 2011
London 2013
Thank you! If you hadn't said it, I would've.
I should hope not!
I kind of agree and disagree with this. I think an adult living at home is difficult no matter what the age difference, but I think that age differences can definitely effect how a parent and child get along. I left home at 18 so I can't comment too much on living at home as an adult, but I am the daughter of a "young" mother and an "old" father. My mum was 19 when I was born and dad was 40. I have to say it is much easier to get along with my mum and feel close to her than it is with my dad, and they both raised me together until I was an adult. Now I know part of it has to do with their nature but a big part of it, I believe, is the age difference. You have more in common and have been raised in a more similar era the smaller the age gap so you have the potential to understand each other better and see where the other one comes from. Now having said that I just want to clarify that 1) I think teenage pregnancies are not a good idea and 2) I am not saying you cannot have just as close a bond with an older parent or even grandparent, just I think it is easier to have a closeness when the age gap is not as large.