Is 35 or 40 too old to have kids?

decides2dream

firstly, i have not read the entire thread...just posts here and there, so forgive me if i repeat points already made. simply put, a woman certainly isn't *too old* at 35 or 40 to have a child. one can certainly get pregnant, stay pregnant, have a fully healthy pregnancy and birth. it happens, has happened, and will continue to happen. however, yes, the chances of such diminish with age. even just the 'getting pregnant' part prove more and more difficult with age for starters, then staying pregnant, etc. one can argue the stats all they want, but it still holds true. a woman's own health and health of the baby are at greater risk, overall, given the relative age of the mother, and if she has had any other pregnancies at an earlier age. i could go on and on about it, but i would think it would be a waste of time. read up on the topic, talk with your own doctors, etc.


of course her general overall health comes into play, that does at ANY age.....but facts are facts, age does play a role. as we all know, a woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have whereas a man makes new sperm daily. so a woman at 40 is getting a 40 year old egg fertilized as opposed to a woman at 20 getting a 20 year old egg fertilized. some things improve with age, eggs do not. nor do uteruses. sure, they can be in great shape, but the fact remains that much diminishes with age. you can do your best to stay healthy, but there's not much you can do to improve your eggs.


there are countless studies and literature on the subject. one can *argue* all they want that it is skewed, so be it, but that doesn't make that true. believe what you want. pregnancy is always a gamble, but to deny that it is a much bigger risk for mother or child given relative age and past birthing history...is taking quite a gamble blindly. much has been done to improve the stats, and most of that is through technology, to keep babies alive at a younger age, to help women get pregnant, etc. all of these things, but they all do have consequences as well. it is a lot more socially acceptible to have children at older ages, but medically speaking, the younger the mother, the higher the chance for a healthy pregnacy, child, and mother after the fact. believe what you want.

no, i am not posing as an *expert* by any means....but let's just say i am pretty well-educated on the topic. agree, disagree, whatever......but bottomline, we were meant to have children at younger biological ages. it is in the best interest of mother and child, and for the parent relationship, raising the child, etc. and i say this as the daughter of a then 40 year old mom and a 55 year old dad, the youngest of 3 daughters. so certainly not saying it's impossible in the least, nor to deter women from trying for children at older ages, but just stating the realities. me, i'd rather be armed with the overall truth, reality/stats....and make informed decisions, know what i am getting into so i am prepared as best i can be.

i also say all this as now a 39 year old woman, with a husband who has happily made the choice to make sure we can never get pregnant.

PJaddicted

catefrances wrote:

love is free.

This is very true....but unfortunately.....kids aren't .....they are very expensive, having four myself.....I know that to be fact! Right now I have two in college and we are paying for 3 extra cars....not that all parents have to supply college and cars...but it is nice if you can.

oxc

TrixieCat

dunkman wrote:

after 30 you get tested for Downs and other such bad stuff..

health care means a lot more in the US than here Kelis.. we get it free here.. but in the US you have to pay for it?!??

And the typical person in the UK pays more in taxes than the typical American, so it really is not "free". And your healthcare system has been called medieval, but correct me if I am wrong.
And we aren't tested for Down's after 30, it is 35 and even then it is an option that the insurance companies ask the doctor to please ram down our throats.

And 35-40 is not too old.

Pauk

And so the thread slips into the typical yank Vs limey bloodbath...

TrixieCat

fowls wrote:

And so the thread slips into the typical yank Vs limey bloodbath...

No, I don't think so. I wasn't trying to start a fight, just saying. I think most of the time...especially after happy hour on a friday night we all get along fine and have a modicum of respect for one another.
Riiiigggghhhht.

xSmackSoundx

My friend was born when his mom was 46 and hes fine...

Lostdogsinthegarden

It's just that the chances for something like Downs syndrome really go up at the age of 35 or later. That's because the same primary follicles that you have from a really young age (pre-puberty) are still the ones that are used at 35, so as they're older they're not quite as optimal as they were when they were younger. But still, having a kid from 35-40 should work out, it's just that the risk % goes up quite a bit.

MattCameronKicksButt

Here's a link:

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/beforeyoubegin/risksafter35expert/

mookie9999

TrixieCat wrote:

...especially after happy hour on a friday night

Three cheers for Friday Happy Hour!!! As to the age question, as long as it does not harm the mother due to poor health conditions, then no, 35-40 is not too old. For me personally, no age is the right age, but that's just me.

bigbadbill

I guess I was one of the lucky ones. My mom was 41 and my dad was 48 when I was born (1974). Today, I am 33, my mom's 74 and my dad's 81.

TrixieCat

mookie9999 wrote:

Three cheers for Friday Happy Hour!!! As to the age question, as long as it does not harm the mother due to poor health conditions, then no, 35-40 is not too old. For me personally, no age is the right age, but that's just me.

Tell me about it.....it is like happy hour on a friday brings about a whole new world.
Like a fresh morning breeze on a dewey morning.

mookie9999

TrixieCat wrote:

Like a fresh morning breeze on a dewey morning.

If I may expand on this. It's like when you've chewed a very minty piece of gum and then take a swig of ice cold water. It gives you such a rush that while you may only experience it once in awhile, it is quite a sensation that should be enjoyed by as many people as possible.

TrixieCat

mookie9999 wrote:

If I may expand on this. It's like when you've chewed a very minty piece of gum and then take a swig of ice cold water. It gives you such a rush that while you may only experience it once in awhile, it is quite a sensation that should be enjoyed by as many people as possible.

I will shrink it a little, if i may...I don't like gum, at all. Gross.
But I dig where you are going with this...
Like lying on the beach in Bora Bora...Jimmy Buffet softly strumming his guitar, margarita being served by topless person of your choice, fresh fruit, cool breeze

jamie uk

mookie9999 wrote:

If I may expand on this. It's like when you've chewed a very minty piece of gum and then take a swig of ice cold water. It gives you such a rush that while you may only experience it once in awhile, it is quite a sensation that should be enjoyed by as many people as possible.

I had sucha feeling once, it involved a cooker hob, two knives, half a plastic drinks bottle....and some well hot canabis res....but that's a whole other story:D

igotid88

TrixieCat wrote:

I will shrink it a little, if i may...I don't like gum, at all. Gross.
But I dig where you are going with this...
Like lying on the beach in Bora Bora...Jimmy Buffet softly strumming his guitar, margarita being served by topless person of your choice, fresh fruit, cool breeze

How could one not like gum?

dunkman

igotid88 wrote:

How could one not like gum?

people with no teeth dont like it.

norm

dunkman wrote:

people with no teeth dont like it.

one can't gum gum now can they?....:D

catefrances

PJaddicted wrote:

This is very true....but unfortunately.....kids aren't .....they are very expensive, having four myself.....I know that to be fact! Right now I have two in college and we are paying for 3 extra cars....not that all parents have to supply college and cars...but it is nice if you can.

oxc

i also have 4 children. but right from the start ive called the shots. we have free and subsidised tertiary education here in australia so anyone can get educated. i disavow any personal transport that uses petroleum...so no buying cars for my children.
personally i dont know what it is parents are buying their kids but i think the figures i see quoted for the raising oif children is so outrageous my head spins. sometimes i wonder what it is my children are missing out on. then i look at them and realise that they are loved and fed and housed and clothed and anything else is superfluous.
some may say my world view is a little askew but it's not. consumerism sucks and will be the death of society given enough time.

pineapplesandwaves

catefrances wrote:

i also have 4 children. but right from the start ive called the shots. we have free and subsidised tertiary education here in australia so anyone can get educated. i disavow any personal transport that uses petroleum...so no buying cars for my children.
personally i dont know what it is parents are buying their kids but i think the figures i see quoted for the raising oif children is so outrageous my head spins. sometimes i wonder what it is my children are missing out on. then i look at them and realise that they are loved and fed and housed and clothed and anything else is superfluous.
some may say my world view is a little askew but it's not. consumerism sucks and will be the death of society given enough time.

My parents didn't buy us a lot of "toys" or cars (don't know many parents who buy their kids cars), but they did have us in a lot of activities, which gets very expensive. Over the years, there was piano, swimming, judo, guitar, and girl guides and scouts, amongst a few others, but the biggest expenditure was putting four kids through baseball every summer and hockey each winter, and all the costs of equipment, tournaments, and travel that comes along with it.

catefrances

I'll Ride The Wave wrote:

My parents didn't buy us a lot of "toys" or cars (don't know many parents who buy their kids cars), but they did have us in a lot of activities, which gets very expensive. Over the years, there was piano, swimming, judo, guitar, and girl guides and scouts, amongst a few others, but the biggest expenditure was putting four kids through baseball every summer and hockey each winter, and all the costs of equipment, tournaments, and travel that comes along with it.

i have a different mindset that's all. i know stuff costs. i just dont choose to play.