4) throwing around the word rape as liberally as the OP did (when there was NO rape or even sexual assault!) is a slap in the face to real victims and causes the sorts of problems jeanie and helen are so worried about... people becoming skeptical towards all rape victims becos of those who cry wolf.
Get back to me when you've been raped thanks. I took NO issue with the terminology OR the explanation of the OP. And perhaps do us all a favor and go read some of the stats? It wouldn't take jack shit for you to be sceptical. If it's not happening to you then it aint happening and if it's not happening the way you say it is then it doesn't count either. So spare me the psuedo concern. At least have the balls to dress your hatred up right.
Get back to me when you've been raped thanks. I took NO issue with the terminology OR the explanation of the OP. And perhaps do us all a favor and go read some of the stats? It wouldn't take jack shit for you to be sceptical. If it's not happening to you then it aint happening and if it's not happening the way you say it is then it doesn't count either. So spare me the psuedo concern. At least have the balls to dress your hatred up right.
i begged her that night not go. i asked her to go home when she called me wasted that night. i had warned her weeks before the guy was shady. she put herself in that position. but that does not make what he did ok. and he stuck his dick inside her. not the same ballpark as "he kept begging me for sex, it was so slimy." not even the same game. never will be. but i hold each accountable for their actions. she was a fool to go, he was a criminal for what he did when she got there.
I've read enough of your opinions on how everybody else should conduct their life thank you very much. I really don't see any point to taking anything you've said on board. AND I might add that it's attitudes like the ones you've been spewing forth here that lead me to the conclusion that if you are raped or even almost raped that you would be well advised NOT TELLING ANYONE because WHO in their right mind would want to have to put up with all this crap ON TOP of the attack? But thanks for your input.
How can you make those fanciful assumptions from this?????:
#1 pretty much shoots your accusations out of the water. And #2 you conveniently ignore.
1) If you've been raped or assaulted, you are the victim and should report it. The perpetrator should be punished.
2) You are sorely lacking judgement if as a woman you invite a man you barely know over to your house and act like the world turned upside down when he tries to make a move on you.
3) Common sense can keep you out of trouble and curtail many a bad situation.
But that's just me and my wild and crazy logic!!!
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
On that note, I'm out of this thread, but thanks for clarifying how YOU want the thread to be... and all threads for that matter. I wasn't aware you wrote the rules.
Redrock and Jeanie good luck
I'm pretty sure it's common message board etiquette. Stay on topic and don't make every thread about you. Sounds about right.
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
4) throwing around the word rape as liberally as the OP did (when there was NO rape or even sexual assault!) is a slap in the face to real victims and causes the sorts of problems jeanie and helen are so worried about... people becoming skeptical towards all rape victims becos of those who cry wolf.
Very well said. Any of the drama majors in here want to comment on this please?
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
i begged her that night not go. i asked her to go home when she called me wasted that night. i had warned her weeks before the guy was shady. she put herself in that position. but that does not make what he did ok. and he stuck his dick inside her. not the same ballpark as "he kept begging me for sex, it was so slimy." not even the same game. never will be. but i hold each accountable for their actions. she was a fool to go, he was a criminal for what he did when she got there.
Jesus Christ, dude, I'm sorry.
"I don't believe in PJ fans but I believe there is something, not too sure what." - Thoughts_Arrive
5) even if she answers the door buck naked, you are a total scumbag rapist if you even think for one second she might want to have sex with you, becos you may not use any verbal, situational, or visual cues to determine interest... only an attorney with a signed consent form is an acceptable way to determine that she is interested in getting physical.
6) Men are disgusting pigs and are solely responsible for any and all decisions made by them or the woman before, during and after every encounter.
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
Get back to me when you've been raped thanks. I took NO issue with the terminology OR the explanation of the OP. And perhaps do us all a favor and go read some of the stats? It wouldn't take jack shit for you to be sceptical. If it's not happening to you then it aint happening and if it's not happening the way you say it is then it doesn't count either. So spare me the psuedo concern. At least have the balls to dress your hatred up right.
If we can all agree on the stats and horror of rape/assault, can you then agree on the naivety and irresponsibility of the OP for inviting a man she hardly knows over the place to watch videos? Knowing what you know about how horrible men can be and how often women are victims, can you then see our point about how ridiculous the OP's decisions were?
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
I think it's obvious this thread has touched a nerve - as it should. Acquaintance rape is far too common and if nothing else this thread has gotten us all thinking about it and talking about it more. I think that there are a lot of misconceptions about sexual assault - particularly acquaintance rape -what it is/isn't, etc. It's important to know that a sexual encounter is considered assault if there's an absence of consent - there doesn't have to be any force involved. It's good for guys to know the definition of consent. Just like girls should use good judgment, guys should too. Yeah it sucks - but make sure you get a "YES" - not that she's just stopped saying "NO" after the 15th time - that's not consent and if you consider this consent you would be opening yourself up to risk as well. We ALL need to excercise good judgment.
i begged her that night not go. i asked her to go home when she called me wasted that night. i had warned her weeks before the guy was shady. she put herself in that position. but that does not make what he did ok. and he stuck his dick inside her. not the same ballpark as "he kept begging me for sex, it was so slimy." not even the same game. never will be. but i hold each accountable for their actions. she was a fool to go, he was a criminal for what he did when she got there.
That's a horrible thing that happened to your girlfriend and an awful thing to have happen to you also. I'm sorry it happened to you both. But I think you are seriously underestimating the appalling effects of what happened to Tish AND in doing so you are minimizing her experience AND the experience of each and every woman, man and child that has been raped or been in a situation where they were fearful they would be raped. Saying that it was all a misunderstanding, which clearly it wasn't if Tish felt threatened and disgusted to the point that she needed to wash herself after he'd left, 15 MINUTES after she first asked him to go, is also minimizing her experience and belittling others that have been in similar circumstances.
That's a horrible thing that happened to your girlfriend and an awful thing to have happen to you also. I'm sorry it happened to you both. But I think you are seriously underestimating the appalling effects of what happened to Tish AND in doing so you are minimizing her experience AND the experience of each and every woman, man and child that has been raped or been in a situation where they were fearful they would be raped. Saying that it was all a misunderstanding, which clearly it wasn't if Tish felt threatened and disgusted to the point that she needed to wash herself after he'd left, 15 MINUTES after she first asked him to go, is also minimizing her experience and belittling others that have been in similar circumstances.
You are ignoring the poor judgement she used and also minimizing the experiences of those who are real victims by comparing those situations with this one.
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
How can you make those fanciful assumptions from this?????:
#1 pretty much shoots your accusations out of the water. And #2 you conveniently ignore.
1) If you've been raped or assaulted, you are the victim and should report it. The perpetrator should be punished.
2) You are sorely lacking judgement if as a woman you invite a man you barely know over to your house and act like the world turned upside down when he tries to make a move on you.
3) Common sense can keep you out of trouble and curtail many a bad situation.
But that's just me and my wild and crazy logic!!!
Look I know you're getting off on thinking you have all the answers and a list of what people should and shouldn't do, but really like I said all that you have said so far is nothing new, it's discriminatory, it's a ridiculous premise anyway, given the statistics and it certainly will do nothing to improve the situation for rape victims. So I suggest you go educate your wild and crazy logic and get back to me. Or don't. I'm not much fussed one way or the other.
If we can all agree on the stats and horror of rape/assault, can you then agree on the naivety and irresponsibility of the OP for inviting a man she hardly knows over the place to watch videos? Knowing what you know about how horrible men can be and how often women are victims, can you then see our point about how ridiculous the OP's decisions were?
Did you read the stats????
Most people that are raped are raped by someone they know, a close friend, relative or partner. So are you suggesting that nobody talks to anyone anymore on the off chance? That you shouldn't EVER go ANYWHERE near ANYONE that could potentially rape you and IF you do then you deserve it?
Coz that's all I'm getting out of this silly little assertion of yours.
That's a horrible thing that happened to your girlfriend and an awful thing to have happen to you also. I'm sorry it happened to you both. But I think you are seriously underestimating the appalling effects of what happened to Tish AND in doing so you are minimizing her experience AND the experience of each and every woman, man and child that has been raped or been in a situation where they were fearful they would be raped. Saying that it was all a misunderstanding, which clearly it wasn't if Tish felt threatened and disgusted to the point that she needed to wash herself after he'd left, 15 MINUTES after she first asked him to go, is also minimizing her experience and belittling others that have been in similar circumstances.
perhaps, but i don't believe there was a crime here. there was no rape. there was no assault. there was no threatening. just pathetic begging on his part that she perceived as frightening, which is not enough to call it a crime. i don't doubt she was truly rattled and scared, which is why i did not pounce on her reply as helen seemed to think the men should have. but i think conflating an awkward and uncomfortable situation that she created (by inviting him over in a manner that, let's call a spade a spade, seems like a pretty classic booty call, even if that was not her intention) with rape is bad for everyone. especially since the guy never threatened or groped her or anything else, even going by her own story. he only pressed and begged, which makes him a loser and a scumbag, but it is not a sex crime. it makes all men feel attacked and insulted and less likely to be understanding to what the line is becos they think it's a product of a whiny victim mentality, and it makes it harder for women who are already leery of speaking out (my gf refused to press charges, and i urged her to) that much less likely becos they're not certain what qualifies and they see the reaction some people get to this broad "anything that scares a woman is a sex crime" net.
i've no doubt this was a terrifying night for her and the guy behaved badly. but this was not a crime, it was not a rape, it was not sexual assault or anything else. fear of a crime does not make a crime. but she threw the 'r' word around when that isn't what happened and there is reason to believe things didnt quite happen as she described, which made me and other suspicious that she might have fabricated parts of it, especially since there is a good chance the guy in question she was saying just the other week she wanted to sleep with. you can't help but think maybe she did have some designs with the invite and changed her mind. that's fine. she has every right to and he should have taken the no for an answer. she has a right to be scared and a right to be pissed that he didn't just leave when she asked. but the way she dropped rape accusations around weakens the word and helps nobody.
You are ignoring the poor judgement she used and also minimizing the experiences of those who are real victims by comparing those situations with this one.
Ah no. You want to boil her in oil for having the temerity to ask some one that she did know very well into her house and give him a get out of jail free card to act like an arse whenever he feels like it BECAUSE I suspect you've done something similar yourself and you feel bad about it. If you cannot see that this will shape HOW Tish deals with men, who she trusts, how she goes in the world then I can't help you. She is a victim. And so is every other girl that this kind of thing happens to. Because it does make them rethink how they communicate with men AND it makes victims out of men too because there are guys out there that don't carry on this way EVER. You keep saying her poor judgement. It's pathetic.
Comments
Get back to me when you've been raped thanks. I took NO issue with the terminology OR the explanation of the OP. And perhaps do us all a favor and go read some of the stats? It wouldn't take jack shit for you to be sceptical. If it's not happening to you then it aint happening and if it's not happening the way you say it is then it doesn't count either. So spare me the psuedo concern. At least have the balls to dress your hatred up right.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
nowadays hits you when you're young
http://forums.pearljam.com/showpost.php?p=5012915&postcount=28
i begged her that night not go. i asked her to go home when she called me wasted that night. i had warned her weeks before the guy was shady. she put herself in that position. but that does not make what he did ok. and he stuck his dick inside her. not the same ballpark as "he kept begging me for sex, it was so slimy." not even the same game. never will be. but i hold each accountable for their actions. she was a fool to go, he was a criminal for what he did when she got there.
How can you make those fanciful assumptions from this?????:
#1 pretty much shoots your accusations out of the water. And #2 you conveniently ignore.
1) If you've been raped or assaulted, you are the victim and should report it. The perpetrator should be punished.
2) You are sorely lacking judgement if as a woman you invite a man you barely know over to your house and act like the world turned upside down when he tries to make a move on you.
3) Common sense can keep you out of trouble and curtail many a bad situation.
But that's just me and my wild and crazy logic!!!
nowadays hits you when you're young
I'm pretty sure it's common message board etiquette. Stay on topic and don't make every thread about you. Sounds about right.
nowadays hits you when you're young
I haven't written 1 pm talking about you, but I've gotten plenty. Thanks for the wild assumptions again.
nowadays hits you when you're young
Very well said. Any of the drama majors in here want to comment on this please?
nowadays hits you when you're young
Jesus Christ, dude, I'm sorry.
6) Men are disgusting pigs and are solely responsible for any and all decisions made by them or the woman before, during and after every encounter.
nowadays hits you when you're young
If we can all agree on the stats and horror of rape/assault, can you then agree on the naivety and irresponsibility of the OP for inviting a man she hardly knows over the place to watch videos? Knowing what you know about how horrible men can be and how often women are victims, can you then see our point about how ridiculous the OP's decisions were?
nowadays hits you when you're young
That's a horrible thing that happened to your girlfriend and an awful thing to have happen to you also. I'm sorry it happened to you both. But I think you are seriously underestimating the appalling effects of what happened to Tish AND in doing so you are minimizing her experience AND the experience of each and every woman, man and child that has been raped or been in a situation where they were fearful they would be raped. Saying that it was all a misunderstanding, which clearly it wasn't if Tish felt threatened and disgusted to the point that she needed to wash herself after he'd left, 15 MINUTES after she first asked him to go, is also minimizing her experience and belittling others that have been in similar circumstances.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
You are ignoring the poor judgement she used and also minimizing the experiences of those who are real victims by comparing those situations with this one.
nowadays hits you when you're young
Look I know you're getting off on thinking you have all the answers and a list of what people should and shouldn't do, but really like I said all that you have said so far is nothing new, it's discriminatory, it's a ridiculous premise anyway, given the statistics and it certainly will do nothing to improve the situation for rape victims. So I suggest you go educate your wild and crazy logic and get back to me. Or don't. I'm not much fussed one way or the other.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
You should try taking some of your own advice.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Now who's being a drama queen? :rolleyes:
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Did you read the stats????
Most people that are raped are raped by someone they know, a close friend, relative or partner. So are you suggesting that nobody talks to anyone anymore on the off chance? That you shouldn't EVER go ANYWHERE near ANYONE that could potentially rape you and IF you do then you deserve it?
Coz that's all I'm getting out of this silly little assertion of yours.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
perhaps, but i don't believe there was a crime here. there was no rape. there was no assault. there was no threatening. just pathetic begging on his part that she perceived as frightening, which is not enough to call it a crime. i don't doubt she was truly rattled and scared, which is why i did not pounce on her reply as helen seemed to think the men should have. but i think conflating an awkward and uncomfortable situation that she created (by inviting him over in a manner that, let's call a spade a spade, seems like a pretty classic booty call, even if that was not her intention) with rape is bad for everyone. especially since the guy never threatened or groped her or anything else, even going by her own story. he only pressed and begged, which makes him a loser and a scumbag, but it is not a sex crime. it makes all men feel attacked and insulted and less likely to be understanding to what the line is becos they think it's a product of a whiny victim mentality, and it makes it harder for women who are already leery of speaking out (my gf refused to press charges, and i urged her to) that much less likely becos they're not certain what qualifies and they see the reaction some people get to this broad "anything that scares a woman is a sex crime" net.
i've no doubt this was a terrifying night for her and the guy behaved badly. but this was not a crime, it was not a rape, it was not sexual assault or anything else. fear of a crime does not make a crime. but she threw the 'r' word around when that isn't what happened and there is reason to believe things didnt quite happen as she described, which made me and other suspicious that she might have fabricated parts of it, especially since there is a good chance the guy in question she was saying just the other week she wanted to sleep with. you can't help but think maybe she did have some designs with the invite and changed her mind. that's fine. she has every right to and he should have taken the no for an answer. she has a right to be scared and a right to be pissed that he didn't just leave when she asked. but the way she dropped rape accusations around weakens the word and helps nobody.
Ah no. You want to boil her in oil for having the temerity to ask some one that she did know very well into her house and give him a get out of jail free card to act like an arse whenever he feels like it BECAUSE I suspect you've done something similar yourself and you feel bad about it. If you cannot see that this will shape HOW Tish deals with men, who she trusts, how she goes in the world then I can't help you. She is a victim. And so is every other girl that this kind of thing happens to. Because it does make them rethink how they communicate with men AND it makes victims out of men too because there are guys out there that don't carry on this way EVER. You keep saying her poor judgement. It's pathetic.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift