When your partner doesn't do it for you.

writersu

Jeanie wrote:

Nothing personal su, because as you know I like you, but there's no way I'm sharing, with you or anyone else, when it comes to fellas.

I think we all have at least one of those "far longer than it should have lasted" relationships under our belts by now. I dunno, I just think the older you get the more you know yourself and hopefully the blokes you're around know themselves and you can cut out all the rubbish and just get on with the job at hand. Building something awesome together. Because it's not like any of us care if we're alone or in a relationship. I think age brings selectivity and a much stronger bullshit meter. If you're not happy you tend to walk pretty darn quick. Well once you're aware of the bullshit. Having said all that I've only recently re-adjusted my bullshit meter and I'm feeling pretty easy about the universe and the way I handled the situation and I know that I didn't do anything wrong. Ultimately I am happy in myself and luckily I've got good friends in abundance. When you least expect it somebody that just fits comes along.

Yeah, ideally, it is like you get together, you have fun (!!!!) and then if you like each other in bed as well as out, then you get in a relationship that has both. And ideally, (I am idealistic you know), then the fact that you have both should stimulate you enough that after you have long talks about things or go through life together then you can't help but want to pound each other.

and that's ok, no harm done. I was just curious and to be honest I do not know the answer to that. I guess that's why God made viagra........

writersu

Jeanie wrote:

Nothing personal su, because as you know I like you, but there's no way I'm sharing, with you or anyone else, when it comes to fellas.

I think we all have at least one of those "far longer than it should have lasted" relationships under our belts by now. I dunno, I just think the older you get the more you know yourself and hopefully the blokes you're around know themselves and you can cut out all the rubbish and just get on with the job at hand. Building something awesome together. Because it's not like any of us care if we're alone or in a relationship. I think age brings selectivity and a much stronger bullshit meter. If you're not happy you tend to walk pretty darn quick. Well once you're aware of the bullshit. Having said all that I've only recently re-adjusted my bullshit meter and I'm feeling pretty easy about the universe and the way I handled the situation and I know that I didn't do anything wrong. Ultimately I am happy in myself and luckily I've got good friends in abundance. When you least expect it somebody that just fits comes along.

Yeah, ideally, it is like you get together, you have fun (!!!!) and then if you like each other in bed as well as out, then you get in a relationship that has both. And ideally, (I am idealistic you know), then the fact that you have both should stimulate you enough that after you have long talks about things or go through life together then you can't help but want to pound each other.

and that's ok, no harm done. I was just curious and to be honest I do not know the answer to that. I guess that's why God made viagra........

Jeanie

writersu wrote:

Yeah, ideally, it is like you get together, you have fun (!!!!) and then if you like each other in bed as well as out, then you get in a relationship that has both. And ideally, (I am idealistic you know), then the fact that you have both should stimulate you enough that after you have long talks about things or go through life together then you can't help but want to pound each other.

and that's ok, no harm done. I was just curious and to be honest I do not know the answer to that. I guess that's why God made viagra........

Yeah, I'm a bit of an idealist too. I think the best thing about getting older and making mistakes is you learn what it is that you want and how you want things to be different. Ultimately I'm quite happy to forgo the vitality and stamina of a 25 year old in favor of some who is older but more in tune with my wants and needs and that's got a whole lot more to do with engaging my brain than it will ever have about just bumping uglies. You don't seem to need to do it as often if it's quality.

sponger

Pleasing a woman is not an easy thing to do. I think women underestimate just how incredible a vagina feels for men. It takes all the concentration in the world to be able to "strategize" sex while at the same time experiencing the overwhelmingly wonderful sensation of being inside of a vagina.

And most of us guys have a penis that is around, say, 6 inches, which falls well short of what women really want. And that's something that we can't help. Believe me, if we could, we would.

It's not like boobs where we can just go the doctor and get an implant. No such surgery exists for penises. Well, there is a surgery, but it's very risky and only adds an inch or two at the most.

So, go easy on us. Help us out. Unless this guy is some kind of turd, he probably would jump at the opportunity to learn a few tips.

writersu

sponger wrote:

Pleasing a woman is not an easy thing to do. I think women underestimate just how incredible a vagina feels for men. It takes all the concentration in the world to be able to "strategize" sex while at the same time experiencing the overwhelmingly wonderful sensation of being inside of a vagina.

And most of us guys have a penis that is around, say, 6 inches, which falls well short of what women really want. And that's something that we can't help. Believe me, if we could, we would.

It's not like boobs where we can just go the doctor and get an implant. No such surgery exists for penises. Well, there is a surgery, but it's very risky and only adds an inch or two at the most.

So, go easy on us. Help us out. Unless this guy is some kind of turd, he probably would jump at the opportunity to learn a few tips.

sob.............don't ruin my fantasy of the perfect man.............

South of Seattle

writersu wrote:

sob.............don't ruin my fantasy of the perfect man.............

I'm sure there are some websites where you could find your . . . . fantasy man

writersu

South of Seattle wrote:

I'm sure there are some websites where you could find your . . . . fantasy man

yeah, that's most likely the only place that they are at.

writersu

SOLAT319 wrote:

Dude, that is THE funniest and most pathetic shit I've ever heard!!! Can you say desperate?

Shhhhhhhhhh...........

you're ruining this.......Demitri has to have long dark hair and an awesome body.

j/k

writersu

SOLAT319 wrote:

Dude, that is THE funniest and most pathetic shit I've ever heard!!! Can you say desperate?

Shhhhhhhhhh...........

you're ruining this.......Demitri has to have long dark hair and an awesome body.

(j/k about the ruining this. But I still think he has to look like this.)

Heineken Helen

Urban Hiker wrote:

Long term partnership has very little to do with sex. Intimacy, however, goes a long way.

that's funny, I'd imagine a mans response to be the exact opposite.

Sometimes when there's problems in a relationship, the bedroom activities can be the first thing to suffer. The quality of a sex life can often reflect the quality of the relationship... and sometimes the two can be completely unrelated. I know of quite a few relationships who were very very unhealthy... BUT they'd a great sex life. If the relationship really IS that good, you wouldn't have to ask the question.

3inputchick

Try the rabbit!

urbanhippie

Great sex is important in a good relationship, but how can it be great without communication?

If your partner doesn't do it for you, then tell him what will. He's not a mind reader and nor are you. Everyone needs different things and you won't know what they are unless you talk about it. Most people want to please their partner in bed and he'll probably appreciate a little guidance about the best way to do it for you.

Ok, if there's absolutely no sexual compatability at all then it might be time to move on, but most of the time these things can be sorted out with a lot of communication and a little open-mindedness.

brainofPJ

well, i assume you are talking about when a guy 'doesn't do it' for a woman...afterall, guys can get off with/when/however...

honestly, i don't know the percentage, but it's usually the womans fault she can't reach orgasm...oh wait, maybe you aren't even talking about that...anyway, there's a lot to factor in...not just technique...but again, maybe this isn't what you are referring to...i don't know.

if someone can't 'do it for you', do it yourself...sometimes that's the only way.

failedpersephone

work on it.

you get to carve out exactly the type of partner you want that way...and there is always the allure of the upper hand.

sigh...give him some tips, and then reduce him with some of your own...until he is crawling a few feet behind you - with the biggest grin on his little face.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Ok, did someone really just write that vaginas are overwhelming?? Jeeeest almighty, gents...just don't yank so often and you'll be fine.

OP: if it's a prob w/ technique, give the dewd a chance. If it's about him lacking an assertive/creative/spontaneous presence in general, a boot is probably in order.

Spunkie

Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:

There was a woman from Drumlish
Who granted a condemned man’s wish
He had lost his appeal
So for his final meal
He had chicken, with a side of cold fish

There once was a dude with a clit
Who liked to lick hairless armpit
She like the feel of his foot
In a 5 inch heel boot
And to be led like a horse with a bit

Thanks for the poetry Rhinocerous Surprise.

The Champ

When your partner doesn't do it for you, try to do it to her/him first..

angelica

brainofPJ wrote:

honestly, i don't know the percentage, but it's usually the womans fault she can't reach orgasm...

Interesting.

The last time I checked, it takes two to tango, in every instance.

Cosmo

writersu wrote:

sob.............don't ruin my fantasy of the perfect man.............

...
You mean a guy with a wart on the tip of his tongue who likes to go shopping with you for shoes?

Cosmo

And you know what I've found out... with women... the more you give... the more you get. That is... if you set up a base camp down in the happiest place on Earth... and stay there and do your job til her thighs slam together, popping you head like a loose grape, you will get a great blow job in return... not one of those 54 second lip service gestures of foreplay... i'm talking, The Real Thing. But, it pays to know what you are dong down there. You don't want to get the shoulder tap, like the one Joe Torre gives you because you've walked 4 straight and and can't the strike zone if you life depended on it... that is humiliation. Know the equipment and know how to use it.
Hint: Find the man in the raincoat at the front of the rowboat... he is the gatekeeper.
....
Now, women will probably say... the more they give... the more that is expected. Which is true... most men are typically selfish a-holes when it comes to sex. Get me to the money shot... now, roll over to your side and go to sleep.
And just rolling up and sticking your pussy in his face won't do it... many guys will just say, "Get that thing outta my face!" Some guys believe that vaginas should be felt and not seen (and in no way, ever put in their mouths). They complain about how scary and alien some femalian genetalia looks (yet, fail to see how the penial protuberance looks like baby fucking 'Alien'). And I admit it... sometimes I have to get past the beef curtain down there... but, Hey... it's part of the job, right? I guess if you want oral sex from a guy... you just need to find us guys that love.
The rest of it is easy... sometimes you fuck... sometimes you get fucked. But, it's more fun if you both get your money's worth.
...
Now... back to the basic question... if your partner ain't doing it for you (or to you)... what do you do?
I say, try to get them to try new things... if they refuse to change... that is a sure sign of selfishness... something that does not belong is a relationship. Find someone that wants you to be happier than they are. Sure, that's a tall order to fill.. but, it is kind of fun looking for them.
Good luck with that.