When your partner doesn't do it for you.

Spunkie
Spunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 7,095
edited October 2023 in All Encompassing Trip
.
I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
Except for little Turtle
I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
Gurgle Gurgle
Post edited by Spunkie on
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Comments

  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    tish wrote:
    Do you teach 'em tricks? Or move the hell on, STAT?

    Move on. Life is short.

    Of course, that's the simple answer I can only give because I don't know the whole story. But, based on what I know...move on.
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    if you think the person is open to try new things, go for it

    if not, bail
  • SENROCK
    SENROCK Posts: 10,736
    that depends. If they have other good qualities and you're lookin to stay together for life......teach the old dog new tricks!
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  • Foxy Mop
    Foxy Mop Posts: 2,823
    ...do it for yourself


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  • Bathgate66
    Bathgate66 Posts: 15,813
    tish wrote:
    Do you teach 'em tricks? Or move the hell on, STAT?

    if they arent doing it for you,

    then why are they your partner ? :confused:

    cynicism abound,....
    For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
    That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive
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  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Bathgate66 wrote:
    if they arent doing it for you,

    then why are they your partner ? :confused:

    cynicism abound,....

    As do stupid replies in threads like this.

    If you're going to bail on someone just because they don't at present 'do it for you', you'd better examine your selfishness and your lack of faith in the relationship and in your partner.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • sponger
    sponger Posts: 3,159
    I was lucky to have partners who were patient with me. I guess there were other things about me that made it worthwhile to them.

    But, if poor sexual performance alone leaves you wondering whether or not to jump ship, then I guess it could be readily assumed that there are no compensating qualities that this person possesses.

    On the other hand, I think most any guy would appreciate a woman who is willing to voice her bedroom preferences. In fact, those women who took the time to show me a thing or two are way up there on my list of favorite people.
    reigning champion

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  • Bathgate66
    Bathgate66 Posts: 15,813
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    As do stupid replies in threads like this.

    i didnt think my reply was stupid,

    especially since i have read no fewer then 3 threads / posts by this person- indicating they were going to break it off a little bit down the road and they are with someone almost double their age .

    It makes them sound like they are using the person, m,aybe they should do the mature thing and break it off now , especially if they " arent doing it for you " .

    :)
    For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
    That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive
    platessmall.jpg
    ORGAN DONATION SAVES LIVES
    http://www.UNOS.org
    Donate Organs and Save a Life
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Bathgate66 wrote:
    i didnt think my reply was stupid,

    especially since i have read no fewer then 3 threads / posts by this person- indicating they were going to break it off a little bit down the road and they are with someone almost double their age .

    It makes them sound like they are using the person, m,aybe they should do the mature thing and break it off now , especially if they " arent doing it for you " .

    :)

    When I said 'stupid replies in threads like this' I didn't mean 'Stupid replies in threads, like this'.. Oh how important a misplaced comma is. ;)

    We are on the same page. I think 'Bail' is terrible advice. But given this person's evidence, they should probably bail as they are obviously unable to think of anything other than sex and so are totally unable to commit to someone.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    As do stupid replies in threads like this.

    If you're going to bail on someone just because they don't at present 'do it for you', you'd better examine your selfishness and your lack of faith in the relationship and in your partner.

    But to call his reply selfish is assuming a lot. It's assuming that the partner is trying, and/or willing to continue to try harder...and that's not always the case. It's also assuming that the OP is considering trashing a long-term relationship with a deserving and otherwise wonderful person because said partner is only presently "not doing it" for her anymore. That may or may not be true. Maybe the partner just isn't a good match for the OP. If there's no chemistry (physical or otherwise), it's certainly not selfish to bail.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    But to call his reply selfish is assuming a lot. It's assuming that the partner is trying, and/or willing to continue to try harder...and that's not always the case. It's also assuming that the OP is considering trashing a long-term relationship with a deserving and otherwise wonderful person because said partner is only presently "not doing it" for her anymore. That may or may not be true. Maybe the partner just isn't a good match for the OP. If there's no chemistry (physical or otherwise), it's certainly not selfish to bail.

    Firstly, read the post before yours.

    Secondly, I sometimes wish people would decide there's no chemistry before committing. It's not that hard.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • sponger
    sponger Posts: 3,159
    Every woman has a right to be sexually satisfied. In fact, any "relationship expert" will tell you that good sex is at the core of every functional relationship. If that wasn't the case, then we might as well all be homosexuals.

    The question is whether or not she is willing to help this guy hold up his end of the bargain in the sack. I think it can be assumed that if he was in other ways a "decent" man, then she wouldn't be hesitating to help him. It's either that or he's one of those guys who is not receptive to suggestion. In that case, he isn't worth keeping anyway.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    Just want you ladies to know, I'm pretty good in the sack! :cool:
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  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    It depends on the seriousness of the relationship imo. Some people are just inexperienced and need some instruction..if the willingness is there it's not bad. It's when someone doesn't care for your needs and doesn't want to even try, then I would say ditch them. If it's just a eff buddy thing then ditch them but I guess that goes w/o saying since that type of relationship is all about sex and nothing else.
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  • Arcticangel
    Arcticangel Posts: 1,443
    Life is too short to be unhappy.
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  • sponger
    sponger Posts: 3,159
    If you guilt-trip yourself into staying with him, you'll only be wasting his time and yours.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • Urban Hiker
    Urban Hiker Posts: 1,312
    I'm with Foxy Mop on this one. It's guaranteed satisfaction. :p

    Long term partnership has very little to do with sex. Intimacy, however, goes a long way.
    Walking can be a real trip
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  • LikeAnOcean
    LikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    tish wrote:
    Do you teach 'em tricks? Or move the hell on, STAT?
    I just switch them off.. it's hard using the mouse with my left hand though. :D
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    I think if nothing else, you'd better be with someone who satisfies you in bed or there won't be much to help keep you together when other things aren't working.

    It's NOT superificial, it's essential to be compatible in bed!
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  • cheeseandrice
    cheeseandrice Posts: 206
    LongRd. wrote:
    Just want you ladies to know, I'm pretty good in the sack! :cool:


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