Strange But Probably True

failedpersephone

Cherry Chapstick has been known to cure genital warts... hasn't it??

Steve Dunne

As a small child, Jesse Jackson hit a nun on the head while playing basketball at recess. He was then taken to the principal's office, who was also a nun, and was beaten with a ruler. Thus began his interest the Civil Rights movement, his change from Catholic to Baptist religions, and his distaste for basketball.

chadwick

until this morning the name behind the voice
of the owl in the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial was a mystery.
the person behind the voice is none other than Prince Charles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fGTUFqPJo4

chadwick

Three weeks ago Zakk Wylde released his rendition of America The Beautiful.
Oddly enough he is strumming his guitar with his calloused penis, no hands.
It's the only hands free thing he does.
Zakk was quoated saying "I still use my fuckin cell phone while driving without the piece of shit hands free optional head set."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxN1W4SiLLk

chadwick

pbs (not mtv) just released this digitally remastered music video
of a 11 year old eddie vedder from back in his youthful days
as an inspiring singer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rwUt3zAbDs

it is his rendition of "I Got A Woman" by Ray Charles.

failedpersephone

The secret CIA tapes of Marilyn Monroe feature many mutterings done by the actress in referencing the President, JFK - it took the CIA years to discover that she was referring to him whenever she mentioned " Woody Woodpecker" previous to this code break, they believed she was a huge fan of Walter Lantz.

Steve Dunne

Untoned women who begin jogging are more likely to knock themselves out with their 'lunchlady arms' than their breasts.

eyedclaar

I posted this in the other music section but now that I think of it, it probably belongs here...



Just released:

In a surprising move, Chris Cornell has embraced a new ad campaign for his pending album, Scream. In an effort to off-set what is widely expected to be lackluster sales, Cornell is now marketing his 3rd solo album as a product guaranteed to improve the listen ability and overall enjoyment of every other album in your collection.

How does it work?

Easy.

Simply listen to as much of Scream as you can possibly tolerate and then try popping in another album you always felt had a issue with the mix, or production, or even too many filler tracks. Whatever your problem is, the results are undeniably staggering. If you aren’t left thinking, “I guess that really could have been worse,” Cornell will personally refund your money.

Like you, I was originally skeptical of this miracle product so I tried it on Cornell’s second solo album, Carry On. I will be damned if I didn’t come away from that experience thinking, “I would kill for another record that was even this good.”

Just try it. Your music collection will never have sounded so sweet.


Some of the various side effects from listening to Scream include:

Dry mouth
Bewilderment
Irritability
Blurred Vision
Rectal Bleeding
Anxiety
Agitation
Nausea
Headache
Low self-estem
Suicide
Homicide
Gastrointestinal disturbance/diarrhea
Inability to achieve an erection
Urge to kick puppies

chadwick

Today on a New Jersey freeway David Lee Roth of NYC found a wooden crate
filled with top secret FBI video tapes.
He was seen taking the wooden crate to an alleyway
behind a McDonald's in Brooklyn where he sold
the crate and top secret video tapes to a colored gentleman.
Later Roth was seen running from a New Jersey pawn shop
with a ghetto blaster under his arm that could be heard playing the Centurions' - Comanche.

dunkman

not many people know that Japan is the only country in the world spelled J A P A N.

dunkman

in 2005 a study in Scotland showed that 20% of all men say they have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just don't think it's a problem.

failedpersephone

A woman in Deerfalls, Michigan was able to finally complete the jigsaw puzzle she began back in February when her husband finally "passed" the final piece after a lengthy treatment of "Mother Gerard's brand suppositories"

chadwick

18% of all United States citizens owning homes have housed an illegal alien from Borat’s home town.

dunkman

77% of dogs are stupid, the other 23% think they are lizards.

chadwick

A blind senior citizen gentleman we will call "Joe" was found wandering the streets
of east St. Louis this morning at 3:30am.
He was completely naked with a very engorged penis.
When asked what he was doing
he threw the remains of a case of Viagra
at the police officer and began humping
a nearby tree until he bled to death.

chadwick

Yesterday while deep sea fishing Ted Danson actually caught Ted Nugent on his fishing line.
Nugent was taking an under water welding class at the time and had drifted
away from the class.
Danson was reported saying to Nugent, and I quote,
" wow uncle Ted that is one hairy sack you have."
Nugent then replied "how about I stick this machine gun up your ass."
Danson then dove off the fishing vessel and swam to shore some 18 miles away.

chadwick

In 1982 Tom Selleck was brutally attacked by a Norwegian fisherman who cut off Selleck’s mustache & later stole his black Ferrari. The Norwegian fisherman was said to have used Selleck’s mustache as a sweater while fishing the northern Atlantic for Cod.
Selleck’s black sports car was never seen again. Hence the red Ferrari in his hit television show Magnum PI.

dunkman

Nuns are required by law to stay at least 3miles away from any zoo, this is as a result of 'The Great Penguin Fisting Incident of 1983'.

chadwick

It was a common fact that back in 1952 Walter Cronkite wore his mother’s underwear
while doing the nation news on CBS.

chadwick

Today 14 green iguanas mated in a zoo in China.
Ming & Lee the neighboring Pandas still have not had actual intercourse.
However, they are still having oral sex and have been for the past 9 years.
China's zoo officials are skeptical.