Strange But Probably True

chadwick

dunkman wrote:

the entire Roman Army was defeated in Scotland by 13 drunk men with dogshit on a stick as their only weapon

this made me laugh out loud funny shit

dunkman

if used properly, Burt Reynolds chest hair could heat the entire population of Iceland for up to 4 years... his laugh would also be number one for 29 weeks if he released it as a single.

chadwick

Right now Monica Lewinsky is having an extramarital affair with John McCain's wife's mother while Dick Cheney rubs one out while (directing) filming the entire act on an old school black & white reel to reel film camera.

and.....action..

dunkman

chadwick wrote:

this made me laugh out loud funny shit

in all honesty i think this is my favourite thread of all time... i read back through it sometimes and just think its hilarious.

ok its surreal as fuck, but i like that

chadwick

While Harry Houdini was walking through Central Park this morning 13 squirrels
climbed up his pants leg and stole his nuts

chadwick

dunkman wrote:

Sean Connery's favourite time of day is tennish.. which is also his favourite sport.

you're a pretty funny dude for a bunk ass Scotsman

btw

i once heard that bagpipes when stuck up one's ass
can not be distinguish between that of the mating call of the male elephant
and the sound of Jerry Lewis when laughing like an idiot.
is this true? yes it is.

Steve Dunne

dunkman wrote:

in all honesty i think this is my favourite thread of all time... i read back through it sometimes and just think its hilarious.

ok its surreal as fuck, but i like that

agree 100%...this and the stone gossard thread are priceless!

chadwick

dunkman wrote:

there is a 72 year old man living in Norway who can help people quit smoking by the simple use of shadow puppetry and amputation of your lips, fingers and lungs. for an extra $1000 he will attach a bulls penis to your least liked in-law

again,
i laughed out loud.
you're a very silly man my friend.
i like that;)

chadwick

Lee Majors is staring in a movie based on his tv series the Fall Guy.
His lumbering giant 4x4 truck will still out run, out corner, and out manuver corvettes & motorcycles.
All this is the same as his tv series except this time Lee is a flaming homosexual whos boyfriend is a Thai boxer dwarf.

here is a sample of the movie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i38X8GA0wAY

Steve Dunne

It is written in Michael Jackson's will that his last photograph be taken in black and white.

chadwick

Steve Dunne wrote:

It is written in Michael Jackson's will that his last photograph be taken in black and white.

i like that.
simple and honestly felt.
that could be a fact unlike any other.
well played Dunne.

Steve Dunne

Also written in Michael Jackson's will is that before he's buried, he's interred in full 'Thriller' make-up and costume so he can begin the greatest comeback this world has ever seen.

chadwick

Steve Dunne wrote:

Also written in Michael Jackson's will is that before he's buried, he's interred in full 'Thriller' make-up and costume so he can begin the greatest comeback this world has ever seen.

no thanks, shoot me first please..
or
remove my eyeballs with a spoon and fill my ears with rubber cement


Also written in Mike Jackson's will it is stated that upon his death
he is to be wheeled into the nearest Pizza-Hut where he is to have one large
meat lovers pizza shoved down his throat as he has never eatin pizza ever before in his life and bury him with the left over garlic cheese bread and pepsi cola.

failedpersephone

If you rub two nickels together with enough force, the energy build up will exceed the amount used to reanimate Vincent Price for one night of wild passion filled lust.

failedpersephone

By consuming an entire box of Mallomars, and Crayola crayons (64 pack) the average marsupial can produce a forgery of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" out of his own feces.

chadwick

failedpersephone wrote:

If you rub two nickels together with enough force, the energy build up will exceed the amount used to reanimate Vincent Price for one night of wild passion filled lust.

haha vincent price
good call
i havent heard that name in yrs

failedpersephone

If you get the small intestine of a Toucan, have it bronzed, smear it with the tears of Alan Alda and attached to a large fish hook you are guaranteed to capture Bigfoot.

failedpersephone

The French language is not really a language, so much as a method for calling ducks during hunting season.

chadwick

when porcupines mate the male porcupine must read Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" to the female porcupine.
She then will think she is a bird and will slide the male's quills aside and begin eating his worm.
The two will have fantastic oral sex for hours before actual penetration takes place.
Also the male porcupine has a tongue like a California Condor which pleases his partner quite nicely.

i think these lil critters are set

chadwick

failedpersephone wrote:

If you get the small intestine of a Toucan, have it bronzed, smear it with the tears of Alan Alda and attached to a large fish hook you are guaranteed to capture Bigfoot.

thats damn funny