open relationships

norm

decides2dream wrote:

hahahahaha....awesome advice!



as to your Q, i don't know. i am not actually looking for 'advice'....just curious what people may think. does it make a difference in your mind if it's swinging or a guy-at-the-bar-can't-walk-straight scenario?


how about an added twist: what about if the love of your life, your best friend couldn't perform sexually anymore...and gave you permission for casual sex? or, what if it actually turned him/her on? i am thinking along the lines of that great film breaking the waves.



good answers thus far, those that delved into some what-ifs and whys of it, both good and bad........

damn girl pretty wild convo for a monday morn....:eek:

i think there are rare people that can do this but i think most people would eventually want just one lover....:)

as for the twist....if i became a paraplegic after i was married, i wouldn't have a problem if my wife found someone to "satisfy" her.....i'd probably hate it, but my problems shouldn't prevent her from living a full life.....:)

Phantom Pain

cutback wrote:

as for the twist....if i became a paraplegic after i was married, i wouldn't have a problem if my wife found someone to "satisfy" her.....i'd probably hate it, but my problems shouldn't prevent her from living a full life.....:)

PM'ing you my cell number

norm

Phantom Pain wrote:

PM'ing you my cell number

:eek:

decides2dream

cutback wrote:

damn girl pretty wild convo for a monday morn....:eek:

i think there are rare people that can do this but i think most people would eventually want just one lover....:)

as for the twist....if i became a paraplegic after i was married, i wouldn't have a problem if my wife found someone to "satisfy" her.....i'd probably hate it, but my problems shouldn't prevent her from living a full life.....:)

i try.


was discussing the flick breaking the waves....and let's face it, it IS a pretty damn interesting convo b/c really, how many truly DO live such a lifestyle, and/or pull it off, are happy? dunno. doesn't get much talk in normal convo, so figured it was perfect abnormal convo for the AET.


in the flick i reference, he had a bad acident, and HE actually asks her to go off and be with other men...that HE wants to know all about it. it's actually an act of love, in the film anyway.


in real life....takes all kinds, eh? if it makes you happy....both of you...whether swinging, random hook-ups for one/both, whatever blows your hair back......no harm, no foul. to some degree, i would think...wow, what a strong/commited relationship....to be able to find that balance. i do agree with the overall assessment, VERY few could handle it.




phantom...i am curious, why is that scenario so *off* to you? wouldn't it just be another sort of sexual fantasy/fetish? sure...again...maybe not it for MOST, but none the less.....



btw - cutback, does it really have to be that dramatic? parapalegic? what about if you just can't get it going?




oooooooooooooooo...another thought!
wouldn't it be *better* than the countless relationships fractured/damaged by infidelity? hmmmmm...i wonder. obviously there ARE relationships that manage to be faithful for life...but there also obviously are many that are not. thoughts spin round my head........
there's a Q to ponder! can't say i could answer either really......but i'll think about it.


and yes, slow day thus far, hahaha. the calm before the storm to be sure!

norm

decides2dream wrote:

btw - cutback, does it really have to be that dramatic? parapalegic? what about if you just can't get it going?

me?!?! no way!!....;)

decides2dream

cutback wrote:

me?!?! no way!!....;)

haha!
i don't click links at work, but i can see by quoting, good stuff!


and of course, i certainly didn't mean *you*...but the hypothetical you.
i also added more food for thought to the post. haha.

Phantom Pain

decides2dream wrote:

was discussing the flick breaking the waves....and let's face it, it IS a pretty damn interesting convo b/c really, how many truly DO live such a lifestyle, and/or pull it off, are happy? dunno. doesn't get much talk in normal convo, so figured it was perfect abnormal convo for the AET.

phantom...i am curious, why is that scenario so *off* to you? wouldn't it just be another sort of sexual fantasy/fetish? sure...again...maybe not it for MOST, but none the less.....

I never heard of that movie....sounds interesting

Not sure if I could handle my wife going out to be with another guy...I think i would rather be alone or try to find someone who can be with me minus the sex...not an easy thing to do

I guess I dont like the whole watching my wife with another guy thing because it is not a turn on for me at all ! I'm sure some people enjoy it like you said a "fantasy or fetish" but I would not want to see it

Now my wife with another woman.....different story

decides2dream

Phantom Pain wrote:

I never heard of that movie....sounds interesting

Not sure if I could handle my wife going out to be with another guy...I think i would rather be alone or try to find someone who can be with me minus the sex...not an easy thing to do

I guess I dont like the whole watching my wife with another guy thing because it is not a turn on for me at all ! I'm sure some people enjoy it like you said a "fantasy or fetish" but I would not want to see it

Now my wife with another woman.....different story

oh i hear ya...i don't think most would like it at all, let alone be turned on. but they are out there! haha.


and see, men love the idea of a woman with a woman, but really......wouldn't you have the same concerns...she might fall in love, etc? why is that so different?


btw - you don't have to watch, maybe she'd just come and tell you about it...as a form of foreplay? absolutely tho, i would guess an 'acquired taste' in regards to preferences...and probably not a wildly popular one at that. i was just curious why you zoomed on just that one scenario and said, nuhuh...where the rest you seemed to address more fully.

MattCameronKicksButt

cutback wrote:

me?!?! no way!!....;)

Well that was disappointing.

LONGRD

cutback wrote:

me?!?! no way!!....;)

eventually that little bunny will stop just like us.

norm

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Well that was disappointing.

'the energizer bunny.....it keeps going and going and going'.....you, as a woman, are disappointed with that? your boyfriend is lucky....;)

dunkman

i have no problems with my wife doing bad stuff with a lesbian... does that count?

MattCameronKicksButt

cutback wrote:

'the energizer bunny.....it keeps going and going and going'.....you, as a woman, are disappointed with that? your boyfriend is lucky....;)

I know. We have that advert here too.

WildChildRose

Seems like a horrible idea to me. I could never be in an open relationship. I don't see the point. If you want to play the field, why not just date?

smithnic

WildChildRose wrote:

Seems like a horrible idea to me. I could never be in an open relationship. I don't see the point. If you want to play the field, why not just date?

My thoughts exactly.
Although it's nice to have a friend there for a rainy day...

mookie9999

Not a fan of the open realtionship in any way. But if people can make it work, more power to them.

decides2dream

WildChildRose wrote:

Seems like a horrible idea to me. I could never be in an open relationship. I don't see the point. If you want to play the field, why not just date?

obviously....i realize for most people, most would NOT want it. but seriously, you cannot see how one might want to have the benefits of a commited relationship along with some personal sexual freedom as well? not saying many could pull it off successfully, but you really see it as all or none?


i would think, the whole idea would be to share your life with the person you truly love, your companion, your best friend....and yet, either both or one of the couple, also wants sexual variety too? playing the field and an open relationship...i would not consider one and the same thing, at all. nor do i think many would want it....or could make it work...but obviously, there ARe people who do. so that is the only *point* i could imagine it having...whether one would actually WANt such, or not. just looking at it objectively.


and i DO strongly suggest all see the flick breaking the waves...tis an interesting perspective to be sure! emily watson and stellan skarsgaard, can't go wrong!

Derrick

Monogamy provided an excellent means to curb the spread of disease before modern medicine was available. Also, in the history of time, most humans have not practiced monogamy. It is a relatively new thing, and limited to relatively few cultures as well.

Lastly, monogamy works against the grains of survival and evolution. Most species are not monogamous, and if they were, would probably become extinct.

That said, we're humans, with our ingrained sociological standards, romance movies, and hallmark cards. ...so yeah. Good luck!

---

Food for thought: Some women feel an intellectual bond is just as strong or stronger than a physical bond. So if a woman has a strong intellectual bond with her hairstylist or coworker, is that not worse than cheating?

Why are we defined by our sleeping partners?

Allie

WildChildRose wrote:

Seems like a horrible idea to me. I could never be in an open relationship. I don't see the point. If you want to play the field, why not just date?

agreed,
and especially if you are married, that would be, um, adultery.

if the person you are with does not fulfill all your needs,
you are not with the right person.

People that get married take a vow, to love, honor and cherish. Among other things. That does not include getting something on the side.

Flannel Shirt

alright, to boil it down to the real truth and put it in perspective....doesnt work (if you care anyway)...

imagine the woman/man you really like (if not love), that you watch movies with, and cuddle with, and have dinner with, and have leisurely drives with, get ice cream with in the summer, whatever.....

performing oral on another.


bang! there you have it. thats not gonna work.