i have no problems with my wife doing bad stuff with a lesbian... does that count?
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Seems like a horrible idea to me. I could never be in an open relationship. I don't see the point. If you want to play the field, why not just date?
obviously....i realize for most people, most would NOT want it. but seriously, you cannot see how one might want to have the benefits of a commited relationship along with some personal sexual freedom as well? not saying many could pull it off successfully, but you really see it as all or none?
i would think, the whole idea would be to share your life with the person you truly love, your companion, your best friend....and yet, either both or one of the couple, also wants sexual variety too? playing the field and an open relationship...i would not consider one and the same thing, at all. nor do i think many would want it....or could make it work...but obviously, there ARe people who do. so that is the only *point* i could imagine it having...whether one would actually WANt such, or not. just looking at it objectively.
and i DO strongly suggest all see the flick breaking the waves...tis an interesting perspective to be sure! emily watson and stellan skarsgaard, can't go wrong!
Monogamy provided an excellent means to curb the spread of disease before modern medicine was available. Also, in the history of time, most humans have not practiced monogamy. It is a relatively new thing, and limited to relatively few cultures as well.
Lastly, monogamy works against the grains of survival and evolution. Most species are not monogamous, and if they were, would probably become extinct.
That said, we're humans, with our ingrained sociological standards, romance movies, and hallmark cards. ...so yeah. Good luck!
Food for thought: Some women feel an intellectual bond is just as strong or stronger than a physical bond. So if a woman has a strong intellectual bond with her hairstylist or coworker, is that not worse than cheating?
alright, to boil it down to the real truth and put it in perspective....doesnt work (if you care anyway)...
imagine the woman/man you really like (if not love), that you watch movies with, and cuddle with, and have dinner with, and have leisurely drives with, get ice cream with in the summer, whatever.....
performing oral on another.
bang! there you have it. thats not gonna work.
All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
alright, to boil it down to the real truth and put it in perspective....doesnt work (if you care anyway)...
imagine the woman/man you really like (if not love), that you watch movies with, and cuddle with, and have dinner with, and have leisurely drives with, get ice cream with in the summer, whatever.....
performing oral on another.
bang! there you have it. thats not gonna work.
hahahahaha!
but what if that thought turns you on?
:eek:
all different folks walking around this globe.
just sayin'.
btw - this is not a 'personal' discussion, it IS just a conversation...b/c it Is interesting, the varying perspectives. thing is tho, this:
agreed,
and especially if you are married, that would be, um, adultery.
if the person you are with does not fulfill all your needs,
you are not with the right person.
People that get married take a vow, to love, honor and cherish. Among other things. That does not include getting something on the side.
um........marriage IS...what you make of it! if two people AGREE to such a relationship, who are you or anyone to tell them its wrong? i am obviously not looking at this from a religious persepctive. anyone who would indulge in such, i would guess? not to oreligious, eh? and....hmmm...adultery? well, that happens in marriages ALL the time! at least in this scenario, there would be no lies...it would be open and honest. just sayin'. i dunno too many who could pull it off, but i DO imagine it happens, and we just don't see/hear about it too much since it IS viewed as rather 'taboo' in our culture.
ad as far as 'not getting needs met'...i think that leaves a LOT open. i would think, for some, variety in and of itself may be a need. and/or the scenario of a lving partner who physically can't perfrom, etc..i can imagine many scenarios...but iguess that's just how my mind works. i like to consider and think about topics that interest me, are a bit unusual, outside the norm.
When I think of swingers parties, I tend to think of Germans, so, yeah.
hahahaha.
last eurotour, had a good joke about there being no dirty pillow talk in german or dutch. neither language really lends themselves to it, so perhaps why they need to swing to spice it up?
Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
obviously....i realize for most people, most would NOT want it. but seriously, you cannot see how one might want to have the benefits of a commited relationship along with some personal sexual freedom as well? not saying many could pull it off successfully, but you really see it as all or none?
i would think, the whole idea would be to share your life with the person you truly love, your companion, your best friend....and yet, either both or one of the couple, also wants sexual variety too? playing the field and an open relationship...i would not consider one and the same thing, at all. nor do i think many would want it....or could make it work...but obviously, there ARe people who do. so that is the only *point* i could imagine it having...whether one would actually WANt such, or not. just looking at it objectively.
and i DO strongly suggest all see the flick breaking the waves...tis an interesting perspective to be sure! emily watson and stellan skarsgaard, can't go wrong!
I don't feel any need to have sex with other people. I love and enjoy my husband to be. He is all that I need. I would feel really weird/violated if some other man wanted to touch me. I would hope my partner would feel that way too. We have enough sexual variety -- maybe people who are bored with the sex with their partner are not with the right person.
I think by inviting someone else into your relationship, its really opening a door for trouble. What do you do when you start sleeping with someone else and then accidentally fall for them? Whoops? Divorce? I would not even open the door. And if my partner wanted this type of relationship I would have to walk away. It's not something I could handle. I do not share! hehe.
so all these replies say, "might work for some, but not for me"
anyone out there actually try an open relationship?
my husband and i started our relationship very casually. he is not the jealous type at all.
so i would hang out with who ever i wanted when ever i wanted. i never hooked up with anyone else, but that's just me.
after it was all said and done, all my other guy friends fell short when i compared them to my husband, i guess that's why he's my husband now
if a person is in a relationship and has a fuck buddy on the side eventually the "fuck buddy" will wind up feeling like nothing more than a used toy...and the other person that they're in the relationship with winds up feeling inadequate
I don't feel any need to have sex with other people. I love and enjoy my husband to be. He is all that I need. I would feel really weird/violated if some other man wanted to touch me. I would hope my partner would feel that way too. We have enough sexual variety -- maybe people who are bored with the sex with their partner are not with the right person.
I think by inviting someone else into your relationship, its really opening a door for trouble. What do you do when you start sleeping with someone else and then accidentally fall for them? Whoops? Divorce? I would not even open the door. And if my partner wanted this type of relationship I would have to walk away. It's not something I could handle. I do not share! hehe.
again, i wasn't saying *you*...i was looking at it objectively, simply asking if you could not even see that there may be some *others* out there who could see a space between a totally monogamous relationship and simply playing the field, and desiring to exist as a couple in such a place. obviously, it would be a very small minority of people who could happily coexist in such a relationship.
i DO agree, opening your relationship to others for most Is a recipe for disaster.....but then, i aslo think there ARe some couples out there who could do it. so i dunno.
this is probably the closest to my own answer to the Q:
although now all probably think my husband and i have some crazy swinger marriage!
:eek:
hahahaha.
*and i absolutely DO think it could work in couples like cutbacks parapalegic scenario. sometimes a partner physically *can't* meet all needs. and if both in the couple are for it, i see nothing *wrong* with that, at all. although i have to say, as long as both in a relationship are aware and approve of whatever, i can't see wrong in most things. as long as both agree, aware, no one gets hurt......i can't imagine judging another's relationship. if it makes them happy, cool.
hahahaha.
last eurotour, had a good joke about there being no dirty pillow talk in german or dutch. neither language really lends themselves to it, so perhaps why they need to swing to spice it up?
yeah, right!!!! no dutch dirty pillow talk, duh!!!!
yeah, right!!!! no dutch dirty pillow talk, duh!!!!
seriously!
after witnessing numerous conversations in your native tongue...i just can't imagine it. sure, maybe can imagine a dutchman ...but not the dirty pillow talk in dutch! haha!
I think 3sums or swapping is/are not good. I believe Oprah's show was about it one day.
If you are single, just out having a good time, no strings attached to anyone, I see nothing wrong with threesomes.
If you are not single, and you participate in a threesome, I just dont see that working. maybe one night when everyone is drunk and there is some good grass being passed around. just kidding.
I can only imagine the discussion the next day when everyone sobers up ....
"You paid waaaaaaaaaaaay too much attention to him/her last night. what was that all about? you want to be with them instead dont you?"
you might even slip up in the heat of the moment and say something like "this is the best _____ ever", bringing things to a grinding halt I would assume.
and as far as swapping, why would you give some dude/lady your significant other to have their way with and why would you want to do the same with theirs?
"thanks dude, here you go, enjoy. Ill be in that room _______ the ____ out of your wife"
um....no.
All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
seriously!
after witnessing numerous conversations in your native tongue...i just can't imagine it. sure, maybe can imagine a dutchman ...but not the dirty pillow talk in dutch! haha!
recipe for disaster.....or doable with the right couple/open minds?
thoughts?
just a conversation starter for a grey monday afternoon...........;)
Personally, I think it usually is a set-up that benefits one partner more than another. I think that it costs the person who allows the other to "be free" a lot in the long run but I've known couples who do this and it can work for a while.
I think you'd have to be a rare couple for it to work. My wife would get jealous and have a hissy fit if she thought i was displaying my giant love truncheon for someone else.
Personally, I think it usually is a set-up that benefits one partner more than another. I think that it costs the person who allows the other to "be free" a lot in the long run but I've known couples who do this and it can work for a while.
Why are you wondering about this?
no alterior motives, simply conversation. if i were *really* wondering about it, i think i'd be having this conversation with my husband, not here.
it's called : breaking the waves
great flim! also, obviously, quite thought-provoking! i've seen it a few times, and was just discussing it again recently....and it's a pretty big part of the film plot.
Comments
'the energizer bunny.....it keeps going and going and going'.....you, as a woman, are disappointed with that? your boyfriend is lucky....;)
I know. We have that advert here too.
My thoughts exactly.
Although it's nice to have a friend there for a rainy day...
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
"What's your name?"
"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
obviously....i realize for most people, most would NOT want it. but seriously, you cannot see how one might want to have the benefits of a commited relationship along with some personal sexual freedom as well? not saying many could pull it off successfully, but you really see it as all or none?
i would think, the whole idea would be to share your life with the person you truly love, your companion, your best friend....and yet, either both or one of the couple, also wants sexual variety too? playing the field and an open relationship...i would not consider one and the same thing, at all. nor do i think many would want it....or could make it work...but obviously, there ARe people who do. so that is the only *point* i could imagine it having...whether one would actually WANt such, or not. just looking at it objectively.
and i DO strongly suggest all see the flick breaking the waves...tis an interesting perspective to be sure! emily watson and stellan skarsgaard, can't go wrong!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Lastly, monogamy works against the grains of survival and evolution. Most species are not monogamous, and if they were, would probably become extinct.
That said, we're humans, with our ingrained sociological standards, romance movies, and hallmark cards. ...so yeah. Good luck!
Food for thought: Some women feel an intellectual bond is just as strong or stronger than a physical bond. So if a woman has a strong intellectual bond with her hairstylist or coworker, is that not worse than cheating?
Why are we defined by our sleeping partners?
and especially if you are married, that would be, um, adultery.
if the person you are with does not fulfill all your needs,
you are not with the right person.
People that get married take a vow, to love, honor and cherish. Among other things. That does not include getting something on the side.
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
imagine the woman/man you really like (if not love), that you watch movies with, and cuddle with, and have dinner with, and have leisurely drives with, get ice cream with in the summer, whatever.....
performing oral on another.
bang! there you have it. thats not gonna work.
hahahahaha!
but what if that thought turns you on?
:eek:
all different folks walking around this globe.
just sayin'.
btw - this is not a 'personal' discussion, it IS just a conversation...b/c it Is interesting, the varying perspectives. thing is tho, this:
um........marriage IS...what you make of it! if two people AGREE to such a relationship, who are you or anyone to tell them its wrong? i am obviously not looking at this from a religious persepctive.
ad as far as 'not getting needs met'...i think that leaves a LOT open. i would think, for some, variety in and of itself may be a need. and/or the scenario of a lving partner who physically can't perfrom, etc..i can imagine many scenarios...but iguess that's just how my mind works. i like to consider and think about topics that interest me, are a bit unusual, outside the norm.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
When I think of swingers parties, I tend to think of Germans, so, yeah.
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
hahahaha.
last eurotour, had a good joke about there being no dirty pillow talk in german or dutch.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
exactly
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
I don't feel any need to have sex with other people. I love and enjoy my husband to be. He is all that I need. I would feel really weird/violated if some other man wanted to touch me. I would hope my partner would feel that way too. We have enough sexual variety -- maybe people who are bored with the sex with their partner are not with the right person.
I think by inviting someone else into your relationship, its really opening a door for trouble. What do you do when you start sleeping with someone else and then accidentally fall for them? Whoops? Divorce? I would not even open the door. And if my partner wanted this type of relationship I would have to walk away. It's not something I could handle. I do not share! hehe.
anyone out there actually try an open relationship?
my husband and i started our relationship very casually. he is not the jealous type at all.
so i would hang out with who ever i wanted when ever i wanted. i never hooked up with anyone else, but that's just me.
after it was all said and done, all my other guy friends fell short when i compared them to my husband, i guess that's why he's my husband now
if a person is in a relationship and has a fuck buddy on the side eventually the "fuck buddy" will wind up feeling like nothing more than a used toy...and the other person that they're in the relationship with winds up feeling inadequate
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
again, i wasn't saying *you*...i was looking at it objectively, simply asking if you could not even see that there may be some *others* out there who could see a space between a totally monogamous relationship and simply playing the field, and desiring to exist as a couple in such a place. obviously, it would be a very small minority of people who could happily coexist in such a relationship.
i DO agree, opening your relationship to others for most Is a recipe for disaster.....but then, i aslo think there ARe some couples out there who could do it. so i dunno.
this is probably the closest to my own answer to the Q:
although now all probably think my husband and i have some crazy swinger marriage!
:eek:
hahahaha.
*and i absolutely DO think it could work in couples like cutbacks parapalegic scenario. sometimes a partner physically *can't* meet all needs. and if both in the couple are for it, i see nothing *wrong* with that, at all. although i have to say, as long as both in a relationship are aware and approve of whatever, i can't see wrong in most things. as long as both agree, aware, no one gets hurt......i can't imagine judging another's relationship. if it makes them happy, cool.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
yeah, right!!!! no dutch dirty pillow talk, duh!!!!
seriously!
after witnessing numerous conversations in your native tongue...i just can't imagine it.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Or Dutch ovens !!
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
If you are not single, and you participate in a threesome, I just dont see that working. maybe one night when everyone is drunk and there is some good grass being passed around. just kidding.
I can only imagine the discussion the next day when everyone sobers up ....
"You paid waaaaaaaaaaaay too much attention to him/her last night. what was that all about? you want to be with them instead dont you?"
you might even slip up in the heat of the moment and say something like "this is the best _____ ever", bringing things to a grinding halt I would assume.
and as far as swapping, why would you give some dude/lady your significant other to have their way with and why would you want to do the same with theirs?
"thanks dude, here you go, enjoy. Ill be in that room _______ the ____ out of your wife"
um....no.
http://www.robin-zijlstra.nl/foto/displayimage.php?pid=21&fullsize=1
http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/9320/109528150050021usel3.jpg
http://cereza.com.sapo.pt/mark%20copy.jpg
take your pick......:D
Personally, I think it usually is a set-up that benefits one partner more than another. I think that it costs the person who allows the other to "be free" a lot in the long run but I've known couples who do this and it can work for a while.
Why are you wondering about this?
no alterior motives, simply conversation. if i were *really* wondering about it, i think i'd be having this conversation with my husband, not here.
it's called : breaking the waves
great flim! also, obviously, quite thought-provoking! i've seen it a few times, and was just discussing it again recently....and it's a pretty big part of the film plot.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow