open relationships

decides2dream
decides2dream Posts: 14,977
edited March 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
recipe for disaster.....or doable with the right couple/open minds?



thoughts?
just a conversation starter for a grey monday afternoon...........;)
Stay with me...
Let's just breathe...


I am myself like you somehow


Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • upina2001
    upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    trouble.

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    upina2001 wrote:
    trouble.



    but in a good way or a bad way?
    and really...how bad, is it good?
    ;)




    just playing devil's advocate.
    :D
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • mindi
    mindi Posts: 1,862
    I think they can work.
    To 10c; "Your PJ tshirt should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." - bionicamy
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    No thanks. :)



    (I added a lot there didn't I)? :cool:
  • Pacomc79
    Pacomc79 Posts: 9,404
    unless you are totally emotionless someone is going to get hurt.

    It's just all kinds of a bad idea.

    Just not worth it.
    My Girlfriend said to me..."How many guitars do you need?" and I replied...."How many pairs of shoes do you need?" She got really quiet.
  • patrickredeyes
    patrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    Pacomc79 wrote:
    unless you are totally emotionless someone is going to get hurt.

    It's just all kinds of a bad idea.

    Just not worth it.


    excellent answer.
  • anotherclone
    anotherclone Posts: 1,688
    Being in a relationship with one person is hard enough.

    It just seems so complicated to me.
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    Pacomc79 wrote:
    unless you are totally emotionless someone is going to get hurt.

    It's just all kinds of a bad idea.

    Just not worth it.



    do ya really think one truly needs to be emotionless really? i mean, seriously.....can one not seperate sex and love? obviously, it is the norm NOT to do such, so stands to reason that there's overall a good reason for it not being the 'norm'...but truly....i think some couples could handle it, enjoy it, maybe even thrive? dunno. serious amount of trust, and dare i say trust in your bond/love to do so though. probably why for most, "all kinds of a bad idea." :p
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    anotherclone wrote:
    Being in a relationship with one person is hard enough.

    Funnily enough, that's what my boyfriend says about me.

    *Edit* (That wasn't meant to sound as self depracating as it did. More of a joke).
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Not for me.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    I have never been interested in an exclusively sexual relationship. I've got to be in love. I do believe you can be in love with more than one person, but not equally committed to more. Our society is not designed like that and perhaps it's written in us. So, given all of this... PacoXXXX is right. Someone is bound to get hurt, namely the person who receives less commitment.

    That's my hard earned wisdom :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    I think it rarely works out. But for some people it might be perfect. Not for me, though.
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • markymark550
    markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,224
    I think that some couple can be in an open relationship, but I would bet that the majority could not handle this type of relationship. My reasoning for that would be that in most cases I don't think that both persons can differentiate between sex and love. If this is true, it more than likely spells disaster for the relationship.

    I know that personally I could not be in an open relationship.
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    No way!

    I'm the jealous type, wouldn't be able to handle my woman with another man. Now if I was optioned to be with other women, then I might be down for it, ONLY for the sex but then again I might become emotionally connected with the new person too. So I'll just say no to void the troubles.

    Yeah, basically it's a no do for me.
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • lalalalaaaaaaaa
    lalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    All depends on the couple...I would say some are ok with it, and most are not.

    Also, I don't think it's something you'd wanna try to add into a relationship that's already been exclusive for a long time. You won't grow stronger as a couple by sleeping with other people.

    I think it's just a simple issue of sacrifice, and focusing on what's most important to you. People get bored with having the same sex partner for a long time so they wanna have sex with different people, but at the same time, they want the security of having someone who's always there for them in other ways besides sex. Typically, you can't have both, so you should just pick one.
  • Phantom Pain
    Phantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    My wife has always told me to bang as many chics as I want.........

    just don't come home afterwards ;)

    I guess if both parties agree to it, it can work

    Are we talking swinging or just open as in I met some guy at the bar and now I can't walk straight
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    Phantom Pain wrote:
    My wife has always told me to bang as many chics as I want.........

    just don't come home afterwards ;)

    I guess if both parties agree to it, it can work

    Are we talking swinging or just open as in I met some guy at the bar and now I can't walk straight



    hahahahaha....awesome advice!



    as to your Q, i don't know. i am not actually looking for 'advice'....just curious what people may think. does it make a difference in your mind if it's swinging or a guy-at-the-bar-can't-walk-straight scenario? :p


    how about an added twist: what about if the love of your life, your best friend couldn't perform sexually anymore...and gave you permission for casual sex? or, what if it actually turned him/her on? i am thinking along the lines of that great film breaking the waves.


    :)
    good answers thus far, those that delved into some what-ifs and whys of it, both good and bad........
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • NY PJ1
    NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    open


    as in my bedroom door is always open
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    Phantom Pain wrote:
    My wife has always told me to bang as many chics as I want.........

    just don't come home afterwards ;)

    I guess if both parties agree to it, it can work

    Are we talking swinging or just open as in I met some guy at the bar and now I can't walk straight
    Haha LOL I think we're talking about swingin' but that will probably leave you "open" to other relations once you get involve in the swinging of things. ;)
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • Phantom Pain
    Phantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    decides2dream wrote:
    hahahahaha....awesome advice!



    as to your Q, i don't know. i am not actually looking for 'advice'....just curious what people may think. does it make a difference in your mind if it's swinging or a guy-at-the-bar-can't-walk-straight scenario? :p


    how about an added twist: what about if the love of your life, your best friend couldn't perform sexually anymore...and gave you permission for casual sex? or, what if it actually turned him/her on? i am thinking along the lines of that great film breaking the waves.


    :)
    good answers thus far, those that delved into some what-ifs and whys of it, both good and bad........

    I think it makes a difference for if it was a swinging relationship or open

    The swinging is usually done together as a couple, but opne to me is like i said more random and a personal decision...which I would not like

    The other question about not being able to perform would be a tough one

    I saw that scenario on that HBO show where the guy would go to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch because his wife so sick and couldnt perform and she gave him permission

    The one scenario I cannot figure out is a guy who likes to watch his wife get railed by some dude :eek:
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers

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