Should this bother me, or am I overreacting?

135

Comments

  • p.s. Eyedclaar has made about ten beautiful comments to use for my sig again...you should write poetry my man!
    Why not be mediocre and be the best at it that you can be?
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    He's flirting...she's flattered...don't be overly alarmed, but be wary.
    Get a sitter for the kids and take her out to dinner, or do something exciting. Pay her some attention, make her feel like your lover again...not just the wifey or the kids mum.
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    to all the guys acting all cool and calm about this... please forward me your wife/girlfriends email address if its no big deal. :);)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    dunkman wrote:
    nah, i'd do it for fucking free.. the inly reason he's back in touch is cos he still has feelings... no guy gets in touch with an ex... unless he's turned gay and is asking for wallpaper advice?

    Hey, if anyones giving wallpaper advice here, it's me okay?......ducky.
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    dunkman wrote:
    to all the guys acting all cool and calm about this... please forward me your wife/girlfriends email address if its no big deal. :);)

    that's rich, I heard you sent your wife onto the porch, offering all kinds of favours in return for Benaroya Hall on vinyl.
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    jamie uk wrote:
    that's rich, I heard you sent your wife onto the porch, offering all kinds of favours in return for Benaroya Hall on vinyl.

    yep... and i dont even have a record player.


    but if people are saying "hey its no big deal" then they're lying... or in denial.. ok, i'm not suggesting he decapitate her or anything.. but i'd definitely be asking about the email... suggesting she stop as it's hurtful, etc... but i wouldnt come on here and go "no big deal".


    imo ;)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    dunkman wrote:
    yep... and i dont even have a record player.


    but if people are saying "hey its no big deal" then they're lying... or in denial.. ok, i'm not suggesting he decapitate her or anything.. but i'd definitely be asking about the email... suggesting she stop as it's hurtful, etc... but i wouldnt come on here and go "no big deal".


    imo ;)
    Unless she solicited the original contact then there really is no big deal going on here.
    Should she discontinue these emails? Yes. Or the op has a problem.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    dunkman wrote:
    yep... and i dont even have a record player.


    but if people are saying "hey its no big deal" then they're lying... or in denial.. ok, i'm not suggesting he decapitate her or anything.. but i'd definitely be asking about the email... suggesting she stop as it's hurtful, etc... but i wouldnt come on here and go "no big deal".


    imo ;)

    I agree amigo, if you see my 1st post here...although my advice was maybe slightly more operational than yours....if not as much fun :D

    and anyway, I'm guessing Mrs Dunk will not be called upon at home for sometime unless the England score changes drastically during the 2nd half...you know how Englands glory can make you 'wilt' ;):D
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • dunkman wrote:
    your wife's email address?



    ok that was low :o

    sorry,

    nah, i'd do it for fucking free.. the inly reason he's back in touch is cos he still has feelings... no guy gets in touch with an ex... unless he's turned gay and is asking for wallpaper advice?


    well, I certainli set you up for that one.
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    TrixieCat wrote:
    Unless she solicited the original contact then there really is no big deal going on here.
    Should she discontinue these emails? Yes. Or the op has a problem.

    I don't think any of us are concerned that she's doing anything wrong .....it's his motives we're suspicious of :o
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • lockedlocked Boston Posts: 4,039
    dunkman wrote:
    to all the guys acting all cool and calm about this... please forward me your wife/girlfriends email address if its no big deal. :);)

    my thoughts exactly....!

    He wants to F# your wife dude!!!!

    To any guy out there married, single or divorced..

    This is the Oprah-fication of America!
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
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  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    she knows. she knows me well enough to know how I would feel about something like this. She also knows how much it would bother her if the situations were reversed.

    Don't give me that 'Long Island Irish guy thing!'

    What we have here, my fellow Yankee fan, is a failure to communicate. You are assuming that she knows how you feel about this particular situation, you haven't discussed it.

    Keep us posted on how it goes. Good luck.
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
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  • dunkman wrote:
    but if people are saying "hey its no big deal" then they're lying... or in denial.. ok, i'm not suggesting he decapitate her or anything.. but i'd definitely be asking about the email... suggesting she stop as it's hurtful, etc... but i wouldnt come on here and go "no big deal".

    lol...your wife sending emails shouldn't be hurtful to you if it's just a friendly exchange. If she's making fun of you or cyberin' w/ the dewd, that's different. But I don't think that's the case here...they're saying hi and catching up. She's probably not interested in any more than that. If she is interested in more, then so be it...accept it, divorce her, and move on.

    Point is, you can't control your wife's behavior, nor should you try to. Have some respect for her, let her do her thing even though you don't fully understand it, and let the chips fall where they may.
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 17,176
    my thinking goes like this----he's a guy and she's a girl. So of course he's trying to get it on. Guys don't "catch up" just to hear about your ex girlfriends job, and if her dog is still alive.
    I agree here...the dude's intentions are not likely honorable, hopefully your wife will soon come to realize this and cut the communication off.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,689
    Poncier wrote:
    I agree here...the dude's intentions are not likely honorable, hopefully your wife will soon come to realize this and cut the communication off.
    I agree, but why take it out on the wife? You married her, trust her a little bit. That isn't to say the OP shouldn't let his wife know how he feels, just do it nicely ;)
    Now if she gets a "hey, let's catch up over a cup o' coffee" email, and she actually entertains the idea, then get out the bag of oranges.
    As it is now it's just a pathetic attempt by the ex, who should be laughed at.
  • Rygar wrote:
    I agree, but why take it out on the wife? You married her, trust her a little bit. That isn't to say the OP shouldn't let his wife know how he feels, just do it nicely ;)
    Now if she gets a "hey, let's catch up over a cup o' coffee" email, and she actually entertains the idea, then get out the bag of oranges.
    As it is now it's just a pathetic attempt by the ex, who should be laughed at.
    exaaactly...if you trust your wife, then you should have no probs w/ emails.
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 17,176
    Saturnal wrote:
    exaaactly...if you trust your wife, then you should have no probs w/ emails.
    Yeah, but I'd have a trust issue with the dude, and wouldn't want my wife to knowingly or unwittingly lead him to think he has any shot..I think that may be Hellfish's issue and I tend to agree...as many of us have said, we don't think the wife has any ill intentions, but we all suspect that the ex does (OK, we don't suspect, we know, cause he has a penis), and she isn't helping by responding to him.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • Wow, all this over an email, you may be married but she is still alowed to have a social life.
    Astoria 20/04/06, Leeds 25/08/06, Prague 22/09/06, Wembley 18/06/07,
    Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.

    Ain't gonna be any middle anymore.
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,689
    Poncier wrote:
    Yeah, but I'd have a trust issue with the dude, and wouldn't want my wife to knowingly or unwittingly lead him to think he has any shot..I think that may be Hellfish's issue and I tend to agree...as many of us have said, we don't think the wife has any ill intentions, but we all suspect that the ex does (OK, we don't suspect, we know, cause he has a penis), and she isn't helping by responding to him.
    I wouldn't trust the guy either, and I'm definitely not telling the OP to trust him.
  • Poncier wrote:
    Yeah, but I'd have a trust issue with the dude, and wouldn't want my wife to knowingly or unwittingly lead him to think he has any shot..I think that may be Hellfish's issue and I tend to agree...as many of us have said, we don't think the wife has any ill intentions, but we all suspect that the ex does (OK, we don't suspect, we know, cause he has a penis), and she isn't helping by responding to him.
    She isn't helping what exactly? Again, it doesn't matter what the ex's intentions are. You either trust your wife or you don't. The ex's intentions are irrelevant.
  • Wow, all this over an email, you may be married but she is still alowed to have a social life.

    Not with an ex boyfriend, she isn't. Some dude at work who comes over to watch the game with his wife is one thing, but someone who you have history with and had/have feelings for? No effing way.

    It is a big deal.
    "If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."
  • Not with an ex boyfriend, she isn't. Some dude at work who comes over to watch the game with his wife is one thing, but someone who you have history with and had/have feelings for? No effing way.

    It is a big deal.

    I still speak to my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend has no problem with it as we are in a mature adult relationship and he trusts me.
    Astoria 20/04/06, Leeds 25/08/06, Prague 22/09/06, Wembley 18/06/07,
    Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.

    Ain't gonna be any middle anymore.
  • Not with an ex boyfriend, she isn't. Some dude at work who comes over to watch the game with his wife is one thing, but someone who you have history with and had/have feelings for? No effing way.

    It is a big deal.


    That's pretty much my point. And it goes both ways....I wouldn't do this with an ex girlfriend, because I know how it would make her feel.
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    p.s. Eyedclaar has made about ten beautiful comments to use for my sig again...you should write poetry my man!

    I do write poetry, or something like poetry. Poetry for the non-wuss...
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  • Allie wrote:
    Don't give me that 'Long Island Irish guy thing!'

    What we have here, my fellow Yankee fan, is a failure to communicate. You are assuming that she knows how you feel about this particular situation, you haven't discussed it.

    Keep us posted on how it goes. Good luck.


    it's not a "thing". It's the way we are programmed. Even when I try to talk about something, the thoughts in my head just can't translate into words.
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    I still speak to my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend has no problem with it as we are in a mature adult relationship and he trusts me.
    You didn't realize that we are all supposed to be put in little glass boxes and up on a shelf for people to admire but not talk to or touch????
    Really, c'mon...we are not allowed to talk to other men but the men can bed anyone they want. I can bet you that some people hollering in this thread have cheated on their wives or girlfriends. But that doesn't stop them from crucifying this guy's wife. :rolleyes:
    Like banging your head against a wall surfanddestroy.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • TrixieCat wrote:
    You didn't realize that we are all supposed to be put in little glass boxes and up on a shelf for people to admire but not talk to or touch????
    Really, c'mon...we are not allowed to talk to other men but the men can bed anyone they want. I can bet you that some people hollering in this thread have cheated on their wives or girlfriends. But that doesn't stop them from crucifying this guy's wife. :rolleyes:
    Like banging your head against a wall surfanddestroy.

    Yeah but a guy cheating is nowhere near as bad as a woman emailing her ex.
    Astoria 20/04/06, Leeds 25/08/06, Prague 22/09/06, Wembley 18/06/07,
    Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.

    Ain't gonna be any middle anymore.
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 17,176
    Saturnal wrote:
    She isn't helping what exactly? .
    Not helping harmony at home where she now has an irritated husband sleeping on the couch.
    I'm not saying he should be worried she's gonna run off and perform a rusty trombone on the ex, I think she should realize it bothers him and not continue chatting with the ex.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • catch22catch22 Posts: 1,081
    TrixieCat wrote:
    You didn't realize that we are all supposed to be put in little glass boxes and up on a shelf for people to admire but not talk to or touch????
    Really, c'mon...we are not allowed to talk to other men but the men can bed anyone they want. I can bet you that some people hollering in this thread have cheated on their wives or girlfriends. But that doesn't stop them from crucifying this guy's wife. :rolleyes:
    Like banging your head against a wall surfanddestroy.

    you're a chattel woman. don't try to go above your station!

    for the record, i don't see anyone crucifying his wife. people are just saying it's normal for him to be bothered by this and the guy no doubt has intentions. most people are saying his wife can probably handle it and not to worry.

    but to the OP, if he talks her into meeting him, 1) shut it down and 2) tell me because i'm going to get in touch with my ex and see if i can land one more shag.
    and like that... he's gone.
  • Yeah but a guy cheating is nowhere near as bad as a woman emailing her ex.

    did you miss where I said this:

    And it goes both ways....I wouldn't do this with an ex girlfriend, because I know how it would make her feel.


    believe me, I'm no cheater. The closest I come to that is when i get my haircut, and the girls leg rubs up against my hand for 2 seconds.
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