Options

Things that sound dirty but aren't.

senninsennin Posts: 2,146
edited January 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
So I was at a bar a couple of week ago and the big screen TV was on Fox Sports Northwest.

A show was just starting. It was the Oregon State Football show.

Called....

Beavers: All Access.

:p
Post edited by Unknown User on
«13456

Comments

  • Options
    JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    We've always made fun of these signs we have on the freeways here that say:

    "Secure your load". :D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • Options
    Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    I was watching a show today on the MOJO channel

    They were in some bar and the bar Manager a femal was talking about the different beer they have

    She said : "You want the beer with a nice thick head, bigger head the better."
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • Options
    SnakeSnake Posts: 2,605
    Jeanie wrote:
    We've always made fun of these signs we have on the freeways here that say:

    "Secure your load". :D
    That made me think of the signs my friends and I think are funny:

    "Slippery when wet"
    Pirates had democracy too.

    "Its a secret to everybody."
  • Options
    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,746
    Thank-you. Please come again.
  • Options
    Spooning. I thought it was something totally different then what it actually is!
    "I'm a thief, and I dig it"
  • Options
    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
    Things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren't

    Whew, that's one terrific spread!
    I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
    Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
    Talk about a huge breast!
    It's Cool Whip time!
    If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
    Are you ready for seconds yet?
    Are you going to come again next time?
    It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
    Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
    Don't play with your meat.
    Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
    Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
    I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
    You still have a little bit on your chin.
    Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.
    How long will it take after you stick it in?
    You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
    Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
    How many are coming?
    That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
    Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest.
    How long do I beat it before it's ready?
  • Options
    senninsennin Posts: 2,146
    Snake wrote:
    That made me think of the signs my friends and I think are funny:

    "Slippery when wet"

    That reminds me of my old apartment.

    There were giant speed bumps in the parking lot. There were signs in the lot with 2 big bumps and it said "Speed Humps".

    The signs were constantly stolen! :p

    Here's a pic....

    http://www.wilsonnc.org/Departments/PublicServices/ParkingTraffic/images/speedhump.jpg

    :D
  • Options
    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
  • Options
    jojojojo Posts: 645
    cutback wrote:
    Things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren't

    Whew, that's one terrific spread!
    I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
    Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
    Talk about a huge breast!
    It's Cool Whip time!
    If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
    Are you ready for seconds yet?
    Are you going to come again next time?
    It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
    Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
    Don't play with your meat.
    Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
    Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
    I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
    You still have a little bit on your chin.
    Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.
    How long will it take after you stick it in?
    You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
    Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
    How many are coming?
    That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
    Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest.
    How long do I beat it before it's ready?


    nice very nice
    Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
  • Options
    Pujols.

    :D
  • Options
    Spooning. I thought it was something totally different then what it actually is!

    Haha! Yes! I agree! :o

    'pm me if you fancy it'. It's in my sig.
  • Options
    Haha! Yes! I agree! :o

    'pm me if you fancy it'. It's in my sig.

    And she did fancy it! You should have seen how many times we PMd. ;)
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Options
    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,746
    Drop and give me 20.
  • Options
    Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    Old Hockey Goalie

    Ron Tugnutt


    :D
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • Options
    chiquimonkeychiquimonkey Posts: 9,337
    cutback wrote:
    Things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren't

    Whew, that's one terrific spread!
    I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
    Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
    Talk about a huge breast!
    It's Cool Whip time!
    If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
    Are you ready for seconds yet?
    Are you going to come again next time?
    It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
    Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
    Don't play with your meat.
    Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
    Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
    I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
    You still have a little bit on your chin.
    Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.
    How long will it take after you stick it in?
    You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
    Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
    How many are coming?
    That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
    Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest.
    How long do I beat it before it's ready?
    i get that email every thanksgiving but it still cracks me up to no end :D
  • Options
    this one always gets me...not really sure why:

    "stocking stuffer"

    it just doesn't quite sound right. :D
  • Options
    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    i love at work when a gal says


    oh... just put that in my box
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
  • Options
    JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    Snake wrote:
    That made me think of the signs my friends and I think are funny:

    "Slippery when wet"


    :D Yeah, we got them too. ( careful, I feel a Bon Jovi moment coming on! ;) )But I do like warning any blokes in the car to secure themselves when we come across one of those signs. :D

    There are others but they escape me today. :o
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • Options
    Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    "All Deliveries in the Rear"
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • Options
    HawkshoreHawkshore Posts: 2,148
    The old wild west saloon sign


    "Liquor in the front Poker in the Rear" :D
    Van 92.07.21 / Van 98.07.19 / Sea 98.07.22 / Tor 98.08.22 / Sea 00.11.06 / Van 03.05.30/ Van 05.09.02/ Gorge 06.07.22 & 23 / EV Van 08.04.02 / Tor 09.08.21 / Sea 09.09.21 & 22 / Van 09.09.25 / Van 11.09.25 / Van 13.12.04 / Pem 16.07.17 / Sea 18.08.10
  • Options
    JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    Oh yeah, :) "Finger in too many pies." :D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • Options
    My boss used to say "I have too many balls in the air..."

    Not really that funny...but, c'mon...it's always a little bit funny when someone uses the word "balls", no? :D
  • Options
    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=220709

    Top 10 Halloween Things that Sound Dirty

    10. Shes a goblin

    9. Id like to get a little something in the sack.

    8. Let me see your bag....OH-Youre having a great night

    7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

    6. Shes got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch

    5. If you just lick it, itll last longer.

    4. Show me your JuJuBees and Ill let you see my Zagnuts.

    3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth,

    2. You scared me stiff

    1. Hes got Candy spread out on the living room floor
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
  • Options
    bostonloubostonlou Posts: 2,849
    My boss used to say "I have too many balls in the air..."

    Not really that funny...but, c'mon...it's always a little bit funny when someone uses the word "balls", no? :D


    balls is good


    the other day i asked a lady for an envelope and she takes it out and says "oh look... it's ribbed!!" then she blushed and said sorry

    I so wanted to say "it's ribbed... for her pleasure"


    this is the same lady that watched big brother and a few months ago announced "after last night.... my husband has decided that he like's Dick!!"
    Don't Believe Everything You Think
  • Options
    bostonlou wrote:
    balls is good


    the other day i asked a lady for an envelope and she takes it out and says "oh look... it's ribbed!!" then she blushed and said sorry

    I so wanted to say "it's ribbed... for her pleasure"


    this is the same lady that watched big brother and a few months ago announced "after last night.... my husband has decided that he like's Dick!!"

    lol! :D

    "ribbed for her pleasure...eeeeeewww"
  • Options
    normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool. Posts: 31,146
  • Options
    Sennin, you need to be awarded for best threads EVER!!! :D
    Rarghstarfarian.
  • Options
    And she did fancy it! You should have seen how many times we PMd. ;)

    Look, if you feel the need to talk dirty to someone over the internet, that's fine. I just take it all in good humour. ;):D

    (Just thought I'd get in there with that one before you did)! :)
  • Options
    Look, if you feel the need to talk dirty to someone over the internet, that's fine. I just take it all in good humour. ;):D

    (Just thought I'd get in there with that one before you did)! :)

    :eek:

    And I thought I had lowered the standard!
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
Sign In or Register to comment.