Does anyone else hate dating???

harmless_little_f***

Dating sucks because if you happen to get an inkling you like someone, you're fucked right from the outset. You might as well not even bother. Girls will just give you the 'at least I made a new friend, that's how I want to think of it' line.

I'm sorry if this sounds negative. It's not, it's just sod's law.

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I actually went on a date once and the guy was just like "you're not interested in me, are you?" and I was like, "no not really." and we just ended it there.

See that's cool... you know after the initial 10 minutes usually... quite often you know straight away what way it's gonna go or if you're gonna be comfortable with them... staying with them just to be polite is pointless... they're gonna think it went well and wait for your call OR they hated it just as much as you did.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

you don't have to walk on eggshells... it's only like that if that's the way you decide to go about it. You have to be myself... the way I see it is that if I go out with a guy and I'm all nice and polite and all the things women are supposed to be, well he's not actually seeing ANY of the real me, so if he DOES wanna see me again, he actually wants to meet somebody who's not even me... so fuck that.

exactly.

My last boyfriend was younger and he had a serious gf before but really no "dating" experience, so he didn't know about all the eggshell walking and games. It was great! he bought me a CD on our second date and when he took me to his office party he just asked if he could introduce me as his girlfriend. we saw each other whenever we felt like it without having to worry if had been "enough" time between dates. that's exactly the way it should be and probably why I ended up staying with him so long.

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

exactly.

My last boyfriend was younger and he had a serious gf before but really no "dating" experience, so he didn't know about all the eggshell walking and games. It was great! he bought me a CD on our second date and when he took me to his office party he just asked if he could introduce me as his girlfriend. we saw each other whenever we felt like it without having to worry if had been "enough" time between dates. that's exactly the way it should be and probably why I ended up staying with him so long.

Yip, that's the way it should be... going along with the job interview comparison, it shouldn't feel like after the initial interview, that you're on probation and then that you've got 'the job'. If it feels like that, it's wrong IMO

turnedmyworldtoblack

Malcolm_X wrote:

I'm 24, and I've never dated anybody.

I'm 22 and never dated anybody and I think its starting to wear at my soul. Sometimes the thought of dating is just a big anxiety pit that I would so much rather avoid, and thus I end up just having drunken hookups ...which doesn't really help to get that confidence up.

Oh well!

Hitch-Hiker

I've never been on a 'date'. At least not the kind of thing I see on tv where you sit across from someone you don't know and enage in awkward small talk for an hour. even if I like someone, if I'm put into a situation like that where I'm forced to make conversation I'll get nervous and curl up in the proverbial ball andit won't go anywhere. Anyone I've been with I've just met through friends or at parties and the like. If I hit it off with someone I'll make an effort to see them again and see how things go. Dating is for chumps.

genie

Ahnimus wrote:

I hate dating because 99.999999~% of the human population are fucked up.

except me

harmless_little_f***

genie wrote:

except me

Fucked up... or taken

genie

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Dating sucks because if you happen to get an inkling you like someone, you're fucked right from the outset. You might as well not even bother. Girls will just give you the 'at least I made a new friend, that's how I want to think of it' line.

I'm sorry if this sounds negative. It's not, it's just sod's law.

Harmless you might sound negative, but i think you are right. It's best to be negative, because if something goes wrong at least it's not going to break your heart as much.

hehe, well as for me though...i do like someone who i'm going out with now. and i've liked this guy for nearly a year now, and i have only started going out with him recently. But the one really weird thing is that i'm not bothered about him too much..i mean i like him and i love spending time with him....but if he leaves me now....i won't care, which is kind of weird why i think like this.

i'm also not bothered about my ex and i'm not bothered about friends that have left me. life's good now, cause i just don't give a shit about anything.

i don't need people to be happy..... and this is a phrase i thought i would never say in my entire life

genie

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Fucked up... or taken

taken

harmless_little_f***

genie wrote:

Harmless you might sound negative, but i think you are right. It's best to be negative, because if something goes wrong at least it's not going to break your heart as much.

hehe, well as for me though...i do like someone who i'm going out with now. and i've liked this guy for nearly a year now, and i have only started going out with him recently. But the one really weird thing is that i'm not bothered about him too much..i mean i like him and i love spending time with him....but if he leaves me now....i won't care, which is kind of weird why i think like this.

i'm also not bothered about my ex and i'm not bothered about friends that have left me. life's good now, cause i just don't give a shit about anything.

i don't need people to be happy..... and this is a phrase i thought i would never say in my entire life

Good way to be. I'm trying to get there myself. I want to be content as a single, that's my new year's resolution.

harmless_little_f***

genie wrote:

taken

My point exactly. I should have preceded it with 'Women are either..'

EDIT: Oh, you mean you're not.. ? I am slow this afternoon.

MattCameronKicksButt

genie wrote:

Harmless you might sound negative, but i think you are right. It's best to be negative, because if something goes wrong at least it's not going to break your heart as much.

I understand where you're coming from genie because I used to think like that but really it's rubbish. I really believe life is what you make it and if you smile the world smiles with you.

Travelar

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I just read this awesome book called Singled Out by Bella DePaulo. You should pick it up. It's all about these "expectations" you mention-how in american society, not only are single valued less and marriage/romantic relationships are played up to be more important than they are, but we are also discriminated against by the tax law, the housing market, and all kinds of businesses.

Thanks. I'm going to check this one out. It sounds like an interesting read.

SPEEDY_MCCREADY wrote:

as far as dating???? keep on dating....AND BANG THEM ALL!!!!!!!

Hahaha.... true words of wisdom.

lksammkt

The last date I went on the guy straight out told me that he didn’t like black people. (He wasn’t that nice in putting it though) He than asked me if that was a deal breaker. Yep the check came very shortly after that.

locked

I've done eharmony and Match.com

eharmony is like dating in quick sand...
you have to go through like ten stages just to get to the date part...

Match.com seems to be very hit or miss..

seems to me every woman in boston is:
as comfortable in jeans and sneakers as a black evening dress...
wants her guy to be 5'10..
Athletic and toned,
makes me laugh,
wants kids,
doesn't have kids of your own,
lists, lists, lists..

you don't have to wonder why some of them are in their 40"s and have never been married...

And God forbid that you post yourself as being a Pearl Jam fan... eeek!
get away!

sigh... I need a PJ girl!

drivingrl

TrAvELAr wrote:

Ugggg.. Dating. I'm thirty-something now. I'm single. All my friends are married. There are all of these expectations from society and it just isn't working for me. I keep meeting fucked up women who aren't worth my time.

Lately I feel like I'm just going through the motions of dating. Should I give up? I certainly enjoy time to myself and don't need to date, but it does have certain advantages.

Yeah, things aren't much better from our perspective, either. And I'm only 25.

Cosmo

LikeAnOcean wrote:

I don't like all the bullshit involved. Same with job interviews. I usually date people I already know.. I got this girl online who keeps pressuring me to go out with her. She sounds a little crazy, but I really can't judge that until I actually meet her.. I guess I'm not a people person.

...
The only part of dating that I like is the fucking part.

pearljamjen

locked wrote:

I've done eharmony and Match.com

eharmony is like dating in quick sand...
you have to go through like ten stages just to get to the date part...

Match.com seems to be very hit or miss..

seems to me every woman in boston is:
as comfortable in jeans and sneakers as a black evening dress...
wants her guy to be 5'10..
Athletic and toned,
makes me laugh,
wants kids,
doesn't have kids of your own,
lists, lists, lists..

you don't have to wonder why some of them are in their 40"s and have never been married...

And God forbid that you post yourself as being a Pearl Jam fan... eeek!
get away!

sigh... I need a PJ girl!

Well how tall are you? I'm 5'8 and don't really want to date a guy the same height as me or shorter. I'd prefer 5'11 and up, but that isn't a requirement.

pearljamjen

Cosmo wrote:

...
The only part of dating that I like is the fucking part.

Me too, Cosmo. Me too!