How did i contradict myself?.. i said.. i dont judge that person who does it.. "oh that person cuts themselves, they are a fucking idiot" That would be judging a person. I just said i didnt have any respect for it.. if you are going to put me under a scope.. at least do it fairly please
People justify their stigma and ignorance every day. The bottom line is that it cannot be justified.
"The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr
I respect your opinion..I agree it is worthless and senseless. But if you have a close friend doing it your not gonna be so flip about it..you are gonna care about helping them. Just like if someone I knew had a drug problem..yeah it's senseless but Im still going to care.
To be honest with you.. if i had a friend doing it.. I would probably tell them im not gonna be their friend anymore until they s topped. Because lets face it.. like with drug problems and cutting problems.. people are gonna do what they are gonna do. Its useless to let it weigh the person who just wants to see that person happy down..
To vedderloution: You right, and i am sorry that i don't understand where you are coming from. I have been around abuse and bullshit all my life and i guess being a person who has been through alot and had a hell of a struggle to any form of normalcy . i just cant grasp the notion.
if you ever feel like telling me about it or helping me understand, my pm box is always open theres nothing wrong with cutters like u say.. we all deal with stuff differently..
I just think if you aren't going through it or know someone who is..it's hard to understand and people think it's some emo thing or stuff of TV movies.
She's a person to me and it's different I guess.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
so if someone cuts themselves, is that a suicide attempt? or do people like cut themselves just do it and then tape it up?
Not in my case. It was just more as a release and a way to deal with a lot of shit all at once. So basically it was like you said. Do it, and then move on to do it again.
so if someone cuts themselves, is that a suicide attempt? or do people like cut themselves just do it and then tape it up?
well Im not a professional but going by what angelica said it's not considered a suicide attempt. My friend just tries to hide it with long sleeves, wearing pants.
To be honest with you.. if i had a friend doing it.. I would probably tell them im not gonna be their friend anymore until they s topped. Because lets face it.. like with drug problems and cutting problems.. people are gonna do what they are gonna do. Its useless to let it weigh the person who just wants to see that person happy down..
Yeah, I dont think I would just do that..that would be worse. Then again she needs to want to stop...I just want to be there for her. I have known her for years..unlike some people I know I have loyalty to people I love and care about.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
i don't know if anyone has posted this link or not, but... - http://www.twloha.com/index.php - To Write Love On Her Arms (FYI - it's a Christian website, but there's a lot of information on there)
i've never done it, don't know anyone who does, but it's a serious issue and needs more awareness. i think Hot Topic started selling the shirts for TWLOHA, or you can buy them online.
No need to be void, or save up on life...
You got to spend it all
i don't know if anyone has posted this link or not, but... - http://www.twloha.com/index.php - To Write Love On Her Arms (FYI - it's a Christian website, but there's a lot of information on there)
i've never done it, don't know anyone who does, but it's a serious issue and needs more awareness. i think Hot Topic started selling the shirts for TWLOHA, or you can buy them online.
Thanks for posting that link...Im def. gonna check that out.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
This is a tough subject to comment on, however the one thing I agree with is we ALL deal with our shit diff. and I DEF dont think cuttin helps. I had friends who dealt with that, an ex gf who was into Goth and death metal, and I always thought it was weak...until I went thru MY depression and thought...well Im too much of a pussy to cut myself. SO instead I always toyed with my rifle when I was in the army and kept staring down the barrel of a loaded gun..felt good and tempting at the time,,,but this FUCKING Album that kept playin on my walkman called Vs and a song Indifference told me not to pull the trigger and thankfully so cause I wouldnt have met so many of you today
My friends sometimes think Im a bit opinionated on this subject partly because I overcame it myself..I was a loner for a while so I HAD to pull out of it myself and even alcohol and cigs I quit on my own and I always told and still do tell people its UP TO YOU!. No parent, no AA meeting, no friend is gonna help you! You have to want to LIVE. Find the reasons to..it might take a while, some longer than others but keep at it..in the end you'll be glad you're still alive
all my support, love and thoughts on anyone who deals with this shit...believe in yourself and the reasons why you are here. Life is beautiful....( said the man w/o a job, 20 bucks to his name, in debt, hating his life in NY but JUST had the BEST time seeing Pearl Jam with all the friends I made here )
Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
************************************
This is a tough subject to comment on, however the one thing I agree with is we ALL deal with our shit diff. and I DEF dont think cuttin helps. I had friends who dealt with that, an ex gf who was into Goth and death metal, and I always thought it was weak...until I went thru MY depression and thought...well Im too much of a pussy to cut myself. SO instead I always toyed with my rifle when I was in the army and kept staring down the barrel of a loaded gun..felt good and tempting at the time,,,but this FUCKING Album that kept playin on my walkman called Vs and a song Indifference told me not to pull the trigger and thankfully so cause I wouldnt have met so many of you today
My friends sometimes think Im a bit opinionated on this subject partly because I overcame it myself..I was a loner for a while so I HAD to pull out of it myself and even alcohol and cigs I quit on my own and I always told and still do tell people its UP TO YOU!. No parent, no AA meeting, no friend is gonna help you! You have to want to LIVE. Find the reasons to..it might take a while, some longer than others but keep at it..in the end you'll be glad you're still alive
all my support, love and thoughts on anyone who deals with this shit...believe in yourself and the reasons why you are here. Life is beautiful....( said the man w/o a job, 20 bucks to his namein debt, hating his life in NY but JUST had the BEST time seeing Pearl Jam with all the friends I made here )
Thanks for sharing that Eli...yeah it's coming down to her wanting to stop....it's hard to see her going through it though
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
Thanks for sharing that Eli...yeah it's coming down to her wanting to stop....it's hard to see her going through it though
it always is...more of a reason I was a loner, cause I knew the people that TRULY cared for me couldnt see me in that state of mind and even now, Im not one to bring stuff up like this or like to relive it 20 yrs later, but I know many of u here and wanted to give a few words of encouragenent..hope it helped
Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
************************************
sorry you're having to deal with this. I had no idea this is what was upsetting you, but its good to know that she's got a friend like you to seek help for her in any way you can. Think you came to a good place for that. I hope you're able to guide her in a positive direction with this....
sorry you're having to deal with this. I had no idea this is what was upsetting you, but its good to know that she's got a friend like you to seek help for her in any way you can. Think you came to a good place for that. I hope you're able to guide her in a positive direction with this....
Yeah...I wanted to say but eh..it's a weird subject but then again I posted a thread about it...I make no sense sometimes.
Yeah everyone here had been encouraging and helpful..for the most part.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
This is a heavy subject. I can't give you any advice that hasn't been given already.
I know several people who have done it. I didn't know how to handle it, whether I should have told someone or not (I didn't). All I did was talk and listen.
This is a heavy subject. I can't give you any advice that hasn't been given already.
I know several people who have done it. I didn't know how to handle it, whether I should have told someone or not (I didn't). All I did was talk and listen.
yeah..I think I have annoyed some people by posting this..but people have been very helpful and I appreciate it greatly. But basically that's all Im gonna be able to do right now Collin, talk and listen and hope she wants to get better.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
I have absolutely no tolerance for pain...sorry, I'm no help.
That is understandable..a lot of people don't understand it for that reason. I really haven't mentioned it but I do have a little exp. I did it once or twice when I was a teenager...I feel lucky that it really didn't have the draw like it does for my friend and others. I do remember at the time not feeling pain...but well after it did hurt and that's why i didn't do it again.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
yeah..I think I have annoyed some people by posting this..but people have been very helpful and I appreciate it greatly. But basically that's all Im gonna be able to do right now Collin, talk and listen and hope she wants to get better.
I hope your friend wants to get better too.
And I agree with what Vedderlution said:
"And you have to realize that if she does decide to let you know what's inside...it can be pretty dark and ugly. Don't tell her you'll listen then tell her you can't."
I was not prepared for it and it's hard. To hear what they've been through and what is going on in their heads... it can be very difficult to listen to especially if the person is someone you care about a lot.
That is understandable..a lot of people don't understand it for that reason. I really haven't mentioned it but I do have a little exp. I did it once or twice when I was a teenager...I feel lucky that it really didn't have the draw like it does for my friend and others. I do remember at the time not feeling pain...but well after it did hurt and that's why i didn't do it again.
Yeah, I had an ex who had been a "cutter" (I hate that term) when he was younger. He showed me the scars on his arms and it absolutely broke my heart.
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
This is a heavy subject. I can't give you any advice that hasn't been given already.
I know several people who have done it. I didn't know how to handle it, whether I should have told someone or not (I didn't). All I did was talk and listen.
honestly, that's all anyone can do. be supportive. sure, provide information for help. be even more supportive. however, bottomline, the ONLY way this friend, or anyone, can get help is when they decide for themselves they want it. tis true, we can only truly help ourselves in such situations. it's like any other maladaptive practice - drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, all forms of addictions - the only person who can help you is yourself. one has to WANT to get help, get out, get over it. i wish your friend luck and health libra....and the strength to see what she needs for herself.
and not making light of this very serious subject, but i immediately thought of the excellent little indie flick secretary.....quirky and sweet, but with very dark undertones, and i thought it dealt well with the cutting issue.
honestly, that's all anyone can do. be supportive. sure, provide information for help. be even more supportive. however, bottomline, the ONLY way this friend, or anyone, can get help is when they decide for themselves they want it. tis true, we can only truly help ourselves in such situations. it's like any other maladaptive practice - drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, all forms of addictions - the only person who can help you is yourself. one has to WANT to get help, get out, get over it. i wish your friend luck and health libra....and the strength to see what she needs for herself.
and not making light of this very serious subject, but i immediately thought of the excellent little indie flick secretary.....quirky and sweet, but with very dark undertones, and i thought it dealt well with the cutting issue.
yeah...that was a good movie and I agree it dealt with it well. I remember thinking of my friend when i saw it.
These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
I've worked with teenagers who've done this. I think the best approach is to offer love, patience and understanding. It's rare that self harmers go any further with their cutting. It's a form of coping that helps to allieviate the pressures. Of course your friend may be at risk of accidentally hurting themself more than they intended, so maybe you could talk to her about 'safe' ways of coping. Teenagers that I have worked with have been taught to use ice as a way of coping. Apparently an icecube pressed firmly onto the skin can give a similar feeling of release with out the danger. I'm not saying it always works but it may.
Good luck and the fact that your so worried means you probably a good friend and are helping more than you think.
The All Encompassing Trip forum is for: Sports, Movies, TV, Books, Games, Career, Travel, non-Pearl Jam topics (not a chat room)
nope, don't see self-mutilation up there. I mean really...if you want to learn about a topic, then go and research it. some things are meant to be learned that way. If you want to know which show has the best Evenflow or what Nothing As It Seems is about, then this is the place to ask it. but jesus.......
reading an article cannot compare to getting actual thoughts/advice/support from real people.
Wow going back and reading posts there are some really ignorant people commenting.
My favorite 2 are the ones about it not being apporpriate to talk about it here on AET. Uh, if you want to talk about the best Even Flow that's the Porch buddy.
The other one that is my favorite was the "I'm not going to be their friend" HA! It's a problem not a choice moron.
Comments
http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta
Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
To be honest with you.. if i had a friend doing it.. I would probably tell them im not gonna be their friend anymore until they s topped. Because lets face it.. like with drug problems and cutting problems.. people are gonna do what they are gonna do. Its useless to let it weigh the person who just wants to see that person happy down..
To vedderloution: You right, and i am sorry that i don't understand where you are coming from. I have been around abuse and bullshit all my life and i guess being a person who has been through alot and had a hell of a struggle to any form of normalcy . i just cant grasp the notion.
if you ever feel like telling me about it or helping me understand, my pm box is always open
Pearl Jam bootlegs:
http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
She's a person to me and it's different I guess.
Just like smoking cigarettes is not a suicide attempt.
And yet someone who smokes can be suicidal, also; and someone who cuts can likewise be suicidal also.
http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta
Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
i really wish i knew what the f*ck u were talking about...
and libra it is tuff when its an actual human being... that i get ...
Not in my case. It was just more as a release and a way to deal with a lot of shit all at once. So basically it was like you said. Do it, and then move on to do it again.
well Im not a professional but going by what angelica said it's not considered a suicide attempt. My friend just tries to hide it with long sleeves, wearing pants.
Yeah, I dont think I would just do that..that would be worse. Then again she needs to want to stop...I just want to be there for her. I have known her for years..unlike some people I know I have loyalty to people I love and care about.
i've never done it, don't know anyone who does, but it's a serious issue and needs more awareness. i think Hot Topic started selling the shirts for TWLOHA, or you can buy them online.
You got to spend it all
Thanks for posting that link...Im def. gonna check that out.
This is a tough subject to comment on, however the one thing I agree with is we ALL deal with our shit diff. and I DEF dont think cuttin helps. I had friends who dealt with that, an ex gf who was into Goth and death metal, and I always thought it was weak...until I went thru MY depression and thought...well Im too much of a pussy to cut myself. SO instead I always toyed with my rifle when I was in the army and kept staring down the barrel of a loaded gun..felt good and tempting at the time,,,but this FUCKING Album that kept playin on my walkman called Vs and a song Indifference told me not to pull the trigger and thankfully so cause I wouldnt have met so many of you today
My friends sometimes think Im a bit opinionated on this subject partly because I overcame it myself..I was a loner for a while so I HAD to pull out of it myself and even alcohol and cigs I quit on my own and I always told and still do tell people its UP TO YOU!. No parent, no AA meeting, no friend is gonna help you! You have to want to LIVE. Find the reasons to..it might take a while, some longer than others but keep at it..in the end you'll be glad you're still alive
all my support, love and thoughts on anyone who deals with this shit...believe in yourself and the reasons why you are here. Life is beautiful....( said the man w/o a job, 20 bucks to his name, in debt, hating his life in NY but JUST had the BEST time seeing Pearl Jam with all the friends I made here
Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
************************************
Thanks for sharing that Eli...yeah it's coming down to her wanting to stop....it's hard to see her going through it though
Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
************************************
you're welcome
You got to spend it all
That is very nice of you...thank you.
Yeah...I wanted to say but eh..it's a weird subject but then again I posted a thread about it...I make no sense sometimes.
Yeah everyone here had been encouraging and helpful..for the most part.
I know several people who have done it. I didn't know how to handle it, whether I should have told someone or not (I didn't). All I did was talk and listen.
naděje umírá poslední
yeah..I think I have annoyed some people by posting this..but people have been very helpful and I appreciate it greatly. But basically that's all Im gonna be able to do right now Collin, talk and listen and hope she wants to get better.
That is understandable..a lot of people don't understand it for that reason. I really haven't mentioned it but I do have a little exp. I did it once or twice when I was a teenager...I feel lucky that it really didn't have the draw like it does for my friend and others. I do remember at the time not feeling pain...but well after it did hurt and that's why i didn't do it again.
I hope your friend wants to get better too.
And I agree with what Vedderlution said:
"And you have to realize that if she does decide to let you know what's inside...it can be pretty dark and ugly. Don't tell her you'll listen then tell her you can't."
I was not prepared for it and it's hard. To hear what they've been through and what is going on in their heads... it can be very difficult to listen to especially if the person is someone you care about a lot.
naděje umírá poslední
Yeah, I had an ex who had been a "cutter" (I hate that term) when he was younger. He showed me the scars on his arms and it absolutely broke my heart.
honestly, that's all anyone can do. be supportive. sure, provide information for help. be even more supportive. however, bottomline, the ONLY way this friend, or anyone, can get help is when they decide for themselves they want it. tis true, we can only truly help ourselves in such situations. it's like any other maladaptive practice - drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, all forms of addictions - the only person who can help you is yourself. one has to WANT to get help, get out, get over it. i wish your friend luck and health libra....and the strength to see what she needs for herself.
and not making light of this very serious subject, but i immediately thought of the excellent little indie flick secretary.....quirky and sweet, but with very dark undertones, and i thought it dealt well with the cutting issue.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
yeah...that was a good movie and I agree it dealt with it well. I remember thinking of my friend when i saw it.
Good luck and the fact that your so worried means you probably a good friend and are helping more than you think.
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
For literature I would read "Bodies Under Siege"
http://www.amazon.com/Bodies-under-Siege-Self-mutilation-Modification/dp/0801853001
As well as reading up on borderline personality.
Also there have been marked improvements with a therapy style known as DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for Borderline patients. Here's the text:
http://www.amazon.com/Training-Treating-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/0898620341
Bellevue has a great program:
http://www.ipdp.org/
My favorite 2 are the ones about it not being apporpriate to talk about it here on AET. Uh, if you want to talk about the best Even Flow that's the Porch buddy.
The other one that is my favorite was the "I'm not going to be their friend" HA! It's a problem not a choice moron.